Tuesday, August 25, 2026

Ugly-Unt Gets In Our Minds

 Present
  • Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
  • MARMALADING Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
  • loose Lois
    Lois Price
    Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
  • Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
  • MARMALADING Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
  • MARMALADING Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
  • Willow. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
  • Lois Price. Human Female Wizard of Porn City – Ian
  • Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl

by Ian



The Party pick themselves up and brush off the putrid gore and debris from the pet. The uphill smooth tunnel is ahead.

Tom decides to finish the hideous creature once and for all by taking his non-magical club and pulverising its head, arms and tentacles. Splatter flies around the tunnel. Party members dodge and bat away the bits. Unfortunately a small bit of the creatures head  lands on Lois's face. Her sharp eyes notice that the chunk of skull or brain, or whatever it is, notices that the chunk has strange little metal buttons and gems connected with coloured strings? The party notice this stuff is only in its head.

Now a series of conversations to decide what to do next? Ugly-unt is still wailing upstairs...

"What did you do???? Waahhhh. That was our friend!!!"

The last few power points all the spell casters had are spent on heals to get Munch up as he was unconscious. 

It was decided that Ugly-unt is obviously still listening to everyone's thoughts. Everyone is out of power so a period of resting and spell point recovery. The idea is that the sphere may stop Unt's mind-reading so they all head there.

They cram in and shut the trap door. A few try to mind-contact Unt and nothing. No connection at all! Yay, we can talk freely! Unfortunately the same protection also stopped all chance of connecting to gods to get power points back. Lois & Cody could not recharge either. The group head out again, back to the basement chamber where the pet's barred door is.

The spell casters prove that they CAN rest, pray and study here to get their points back. But decide to explore a little first.

Munch decides to taunt Unt via mind connection. The only problem is that his tormenting worked. A sharp, painful screeching blasts into Munch's feeble mind. He saves and the noise passes. No one else hears it.

"Unt mind-blasted me like the creature did!!!"

"Well, then you better not bother Unt again then..."

They decide to explore the barred pen. Tom lifts the securing bar. They carefully step forward.

filth
Cell filth

There is a short tunnel that ends in a small room with a portcullis (open). The smell is putrid and overwhelming. Past the portcullis, there is a larger room that is full of offal and discarded waste. Bones, filth and flesh. 

Across THIS room, on the opposite side of the room, is another portcullis. The group head there and the gate is closed with the control on the other side, in yet another small 10x10 room, with an exit door on the other side of that. The experts determine that the room is well outside the cottage section now, out toward the wilderness that surrounds the property. Even Unt's wailing and mind connection seem dim here.

The party return to the basement. An expedition sets off to the kitchen. Food is on the stove. The stealthy move to the front door and spot Unt with a couple of the dogs over near the stable. Brave Munch decides to ping Unt (for whatever reason) and Tom connects too. This time Tom receives that loud screech and collapses to the floor. 

Lois transfers her last points to Willow who casts Cure Serious Wound to get Tom up again. Tom spends the rest of the time chanting. Much to everyone's annoyance.

They decide to make a run for it. However, as Unt can mind-read, he sends the dogs to the back door and all 3 hounds are waiting at the rear. Everyone returns to the cellar...

Over the next 4 days the party set up camp in the basement. There is a very secure solid metal door between the camp and the house (Unt). They have days of regaining spell points via wafer, curing, exploring and detecting magic in every possible place. This underground area is well and truly searched.

Unt is largely absent and nothing interesting happens.

Eventually, all spelled up and sick of being underground, the group head to the metal sphere to make plans without Unt eaves dropping. 

While in the sphere, they investigate their discovered items:
- Magical dagger (that can wait)
- Small hand held crossbow / dart gun thing
- The communicator

They switch on the communicator and 3 names appear; Julius, Ugly-unt and a new name: 'Thackery'.
They press Unt and the device vibrates. This is Unt's device
They press Thackery and an incomprehensible squawking blasts out. Cody casts Comprehend Language and the gruff voice is asking what Unt wants? Who is this???? They stop the transmission.

munch
hand-held slug gun
Lois looks at the small hand-held slug gun and eventually note small, intricate controls that cause a central chamber to pivot outward. There are 8 small cannisters. They seem to have one end made of polished metal and the other is dull and filed off? Munch heads out of the chamber, and uses the dart gun in the tunnel. The power of the dart hurts his hand and makes a massive, explosive noise. There is a pleasant burning smell. The dart disappears up the tunnel and can be heard bouncing off the walls and floor. He comes back and reports the strange device. 

"Its really dangerous and difficult to control" 
[ No one in the party has a crossbow skill that would be relevant to operate this 'dart gun'. Down to 7 darts remaining. ]

They finally decide to exit via the locked portcullis to the woods. As they head off, everyone is careful to conceal their thoughts and not think of their decisions and plans. Unfortunately, most miserably fail their mind rolls. Esme in particular is carefully detailing every step of their plan in her head [ critical mind roll fail! ]. No matter, they press on.

Cody Knocks the closed portcullis and the grill breaks apart. They head to the exit door and that is ALSO blocked solid, from the outside. Cody, with another Knock and it too blasts open - never to be locked again.

They head off and a straight upward sloping tunnel brings them out in the woods, about 100m behind the cottage grounds. 

Finally outside they breath in the sweet fresh air and bath in Real's light. The party loop back to the house. They carefully approach the outer fence wall. There is no sign of the dogs nor Unt. Smoke plumes from the Kitchen chimney as normal.

Unt appears around the edge of the house and looks at us.

"I have been expecting you. Why did you kill our pet????"

Lois enters the conversation. "Well... you DID leave it there to kill us. It WAS self defence. We all acted as a team to kill that horrible thing and we are glad its gone!"

Unt's fury becomes uncontrollable and he RUNs at the fenced wall. 
- An arrow is loosed and hits Unt on the shoulder
- Cody fires an impressive Cone of Cold

Well Unt does save, but even then, the cone of cold not only does no damage, the arrow in Unt's shoulder pops out and the wound heals. Argghh, back to that again.

Tom and all don their magical weapons and ready to receive the charge. Tom does an impressive hit, but again, no damage. Literally bounces off. 

The stealthily hidden Munch, reaches out with his metal zapper and discharges a bolt on Unt. He recoils with the hit. 27points of damage! One of his arms is blackened and destroyed.

Unt turns and heads back to the cottage howling and Esme fires another arrow. It lands perfectly in the back of Unt's neck and he drops.

battle
The Ugly-unt battle
The party cross the fence celebrating the win! Only to discover the celebrations are a little too early. Unt is getting back up to his feet. Twisting his neck and the withered arm is mending from the shoulder. The level of regeneration is beyond astonishing.

Tom switches to his non-magical club. 

Lois has an idea and pulls out the glass fronted panel with the small gem. She holds the little button at the side and points at Unt. The device starts up and there is an image in the glass that shows bones, sinew, organs. Its amazing. A purple line appears at the base of the glass panel and moves up the screen. Lois keeps it pointed at Unt, looking for some kind of way to deactivate Unt. Whoops. the purple line goes over Unt's burnt arm and it starts to repair even faster. Almost instantly!
lois scan
Lois scans Cody

Tom smacks Unt with his club and he drops again. Esme and Tom decapitate Unt with their non-magical sword and club. 

Lois points the thingy at Cody, Same thing. Skeleton and tendons. Little white blips crawling all over him. He recovers 1 HP to full. The device thing seems to be getting a little dimmer.
[ We suspect this is a limited number of heal charges, just not sure how limited. ]

The party gather up all of Unt's pulpy bits. He too has the strange little metal buttons and strings in his head (what's left of it). The party throw everything into the coal range fire.


Setting up Home and the Cultists


The group chill out and make themselves at home in Lois's cottage. They get rid of the humanoid and other 'worrying' carcasses from downstairs and clear the kitchen of offal and anything else nasty. Cody insisted we keep the sweet breads for him. Willow casts 3 x Animal Friendships and the dogs are now friendly.


They FULLY search the house in detail and the only new thing is a magical cloak in Julius's wardrobe. 

Cody takes the time to cast Identify on the dagger and the cloak:
- Dagger is a simple +1
- The cloak is interesting.... It negates spells. There is a total 'charge' of 30 power points and any spell cast, the count is decreased by the *spell level*. If a 3rd level spell is cast, there is NO effect form the spell and the count decreases by 3. 1 for level 1 and so on. THAT would have been handy in the Wizards Guild on the day Julius was killed!

The partly also find a map and triangulate this village, Porn City and Greybank and discover that the locations make a perfect equilateral triangle. Cody considers that this shape and orientation is the same pattern as the glimpse on the black window panel in the Porn City sphere (before it was atomised, along with half the lower city). The corner point representing this village was the red light. Means that Greybank has a live sphere!

At a lose end with the house cleared, fully explored and not much more to do, the party decide to start working out the cult. We need some names!

Munch and Cody as the 2 stealth experts, sneak into town and monitor things. Munch at the Methuselah Temple and Cody by the village inns.

Munch notices the elderly female Methuselah Priestess, at precisely 8pm, leave the temple and head to the Flaccid Barrel.

Cody sees the Priestess arrive. She sits at a table with 7 or 8 other guests. One person, Esme Wills of the Town Guard, seems agitated and emotive. Pacing and waving her hands. 

1 hour later the gathering depart the inn and return to their homes. The Priestess lights out at exactly 10pm.

Munch and Cody return at 11pm as the village dies down to nothing happening.

The group, with Munch and Cody doing as much as they can, do not discover anything more. They do not glean any more cultist identities. 

Cottage Visitors


After  week has passed since the party passed through town, Esme Wills, in a town guard corporal uniform, and another town guard corporal, are seen approaching up the lane. Esme looks nervous. The dogs bark and the male guardsman knocks at the front door.

Lois, opens the door with a wide and friendly smile, "Visitors! Please, do come in. I am Lois."
Esme Wills visibly relaxes and she introduces herself and her colleague, Ronald "Ron" Build.

Ron enquires, "Where is Unt? He lives here doesn't he?"

"Oh yes" replies Lois, looking around. "He is here somewhere. He is a wonderful worker. Probably out back or in the stables or something? I am sure he is not far away." she charms.

Esme Wills quickly, and rather bluntly, asks if Lois is continuing Julius's great works and believes in the cause of distorting time and space. Lois, fully expecting this, agrees and praises the virtues of Julius's works and his beliefs. She describes the great work the party were doing for Julius in Porn City and how deeply involved we were in the recent web snot and investigations. Esme Wills beams with Joy!

Ron offers Tom a job in the town guard. Tom politely declines.

Lois asks if there is anything she and the party can do to help?  Esme brightens and invites Lois to the next cultist meeting in the Methuselah temple. Lois keenly accepts the invite. "Its tomorrow at 8pm - don't be late!"

The party discuss and decide that Lois and Tom will go to the meeting. They let Lois borrow the cloak. POP! oh oh, its a beautiful fit and looks great. Problem is, Lois can't take it off now. Ok, so not a problem for now but means Lois can't receive a heal. But as long as she stays away from weapons, nothing can hurt her right?

Lois and Tom arrive at 7.59.30 pm and Doreen the Priestess receives her at the door. "Bah, your timing is miles out. You are far too early". Lois observes the room is already full of the other guests. Wonder what kind of telling off they got as they were even further away from 8pm?
meeting
The cultists' meeting

The meeting went very well. Introductions made. Talks about the cult and what it stands for and the glory of the tentacled beasts that will rise to bless the world!

The party have vastly more knowledge on the mind flayers, eggs, spheres and goings on about the cultist 'gods'. Much discussion around the evil of the Throak family. Lois agrees wholeheartedly.

Lois and Tom find out that Thackery is the black man that went to Greybank with the stolen egg and the fake Throak barge. Lois thinks that a return visit to Greybank is not too far away.

Eventually Lois again offers to help and says that the party are all returning to Porn City shortly. Doreen suggests we catch up with a Lieutenant guard named 'Wilbur' who is a Thieves Guild insider for the cult that has infiltrated the Wizard Guild. They are planning to break into the Throak warehouse at night, when the guard is light, and take an egg or two. 

"Perhaps we can help?".

"Oh absolutely" oozes Lois. "I am sure we can assist Wilbur and help get an egg out"

Doreen and the cultists offer Lois and Tom a cultists neckless to wear. They thank them for the wonderful gift! The meeting ends and everyone says their goodbyes.

Back at the house a quick detect magic and the necklaces are indeed magic. 

"Like heck we are wearing those..." Lois and Tom state.


Cultist Identities discovered


  • Elisabeth Riley - Flaccid Barrel
  • Esme Wills - Town Guard (Corporal)
  • Ronald "Ron" Build - Town Guard (Corporal)
  • Doreen - Methuselah Priestess (excommunicated)
  • Amanda Dross - General Store Owner
  • Brit Hayley - Old lady, retired mage
  • Pedro the Tool - Merc in town. Been away 6-8 weeks.
  • David Puck - Assistant bar tender at the Golden Tourniquet
  • Thackery - Black man at Greybank
  • Wilbur - TG Lieutenant that has infiltrated the Wizard Guild 



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