Tuesday, October 28, 2025

What was the plan again?

Present:

  • Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
  • Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
  • Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
  • Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
  • Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
  • Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
  • Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
  • Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
  • Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
  • Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl
by Jason / Grim

It was a morning stormy and dark, pouring with rain, as our company started the trek towards Letchtown, in search of Otto von Thesburg. We took three horses and Willow’s cart, most of us walking. We anticipated the trip to take just over a day, necessitating a stop along the way.

With previous lines of enquiry exhausted, we believed Otto was the genuine one who hired Magnus to uplift the spear causing Vincent’s death. Our plan was to find Otto - and then hopefully all would be revealed. We’d be able to report back to the magicians, wrap this sordid tale up and get back to our various lives.

The weather curtailed our normal pace and when we saw a way-station around mid-afternoon, we decided it was time for a stop. The Weeping Mango, it was called. First impressions, very loud and humid, with many human bodies pressed close together. There was a roped-off stage area where several half-elf slaves were being sodomised (against their will). I, for one, was pleased to see some members of this cursed race suffering for the harm they’d inflicted on mainstream Porn City citizens. Nonetheless it was a bit rowdy and once things died down we appreciated the opportunity for a decent kip.

Slavers


Next morning, we set off in more miserable rain. About a mile down the road we saw a wagon with cage on the back that had slid off the muddy road. Two burly men were trying and failing to get the wagon realigned. We noticed the cages contained several quite young half-elf boys and girls - more slaves by the look.

The slavers motioned for us to stop and help. We started debating whether we should demand a fee, but pretty quickly the less self-serving members of the party were already putting their shoulders in. Munch had stayed with our cart, observing the emaciated-looking slaves. As he did so, he noticed a particularly thin girl slip through the cage bars, drop to the ground and limp off through the brush. He and a couple of other party members noticing this break for freedom said nothing.

Once the wagon was upright and on the road again, the slavers did a count and realized one of the slaves was missing. “Hey, there should be eight and there’s only seven,” said one. He was certain the party would have seen an escape, but no-one fessed up and we left them to it.

Finding Otto


Around 4-5 hours later, we made it to Letchtown. The sign on the outskirts said population 1050 - and I wondered at the time whether our presence would change that figure. In the Main Street proper, there were around a dozen enterprises including three inns and a brothel (the Broken Virgin). We chose to stay at one of the inns, the Squalid Minotaur.

We decided to get straight to the point and ask around about Otto (who we understood was the one who had hired Magnus to locate the cursed spear in the first place and thereby caused Vincent’s death). Usually, Cody volunteered to represent the party with strangers, but he’d had a bad run lately. People seemed to have an aversion to odour, headlice and yellow spittle. Someone suggested we should put forward our most attractive party member and so we did.

Esme walked up to the bar keep and asked if he knew Otto and where we could find him. He appeared a little surprised at the directness, but liked the cut of Esme’s gib (or was that her Soixante Neuf neckline?). 

“Er, yes. ‘e owns the Broken Virgin, the orrre ‘ouse, if you like, Ma’am.” 

Flushed with success, Esme began pressing the bar keep (who turned out to be the inn manager) for cheap accommodation rates in return for lodging at the Minotaur and not staying the night at the Virgin. With some success.

While this was going on, a burly man walked up to Cody and informed him that his stench was disgusting and offensive to all assembled and that he should apologize and withdraw. Cody, perhaps nervous, responded with a fart so loud it was only obscured by the accompanying stench of rotten egg. Needless to say, Cody was ordered to stay in the stables.

Deciding it was a good time to leave, we proceeded to the Virgin. Cody was following us in rather hopefully until he was ordered out. Just not his day I guess. Munch hooked up with a lady pretty quickly and disappeared for two hours. Esme, Rock and me headed to the bar.

The Broken Virgin


Esme asked the woman bar tender if she knew Otto and where she might find him as she had something to talk about. The woman said, well yes, he’s my boss. And he is around, he’s just not likely to respond to a stranger’s request. Esme said it was a matter of importance and if it was at all possible, she’d appreciate it. We learned that the von Thesburgs were one of the big families. Esme tipped the woman after a couple of drinks and went to use the powder room.

Those of us still supporting the bar saw the barmaid slip out back at that point and get replaced by a couple of other servers. Esme came back and joined us.

otto
Otto
It took another hour, but we were rewarded. A wiry man with sharp features, about 5 foot 8 tall came in from the back, spoke to a barmaid and was pointed in our direction. A very long discussion followed, with Esme doing her best (including failed Seduction) to pump Otto for information. He simply got annoyed and clammed up.

At some point during the above exchange, my mind drifted off and I started looking at the various women around the bar, wondering how easy or worthwhile it would be to seduce them. 

I was snapped back to awareness as Esme punched me: "Hey, you have some persuade skills. Your turn."

 Maybe it was the beers, but try as best I could, I couldn’t remember what the plan was. If only Munch was here. Was it time for some tough love?

I turned to Otto and said, “It’s known in Porn City that you are connected to a murder committed by a certain Magnus. We’re not the only ones who know. Things could go very badly for you if you don’t tell us what you know. On the other hand, help us and we can help you.” 

Instead of making Otto more forthcoming, this line of enquiry made Otto absolutely livid. During the exchange that followed, he admitted knowing Magnus and Vincent and the whereabouts of the nearby bar that Vincent frequented before he died - but as far as he knew, Magnus had just disappeared. He gave a suggestion that he had a boss above him that may have orchestrated things at a strategic level, but when pressed, boasted he was his own man.

Otto finished by calling us amateurs who were out of our depth and had no idea what we were meddling with. He called his heavies over to escort us out and turned on his heel and left.

A Rendezvous


Back in our rooms, we got a message from Otto to meet back up with him at his bar, at closing time. Jack said that would be foolish, surely we should designate a more neutral spot, like a grove of trees in the wilderness. No-one listened.

Munch offered to use his power of night-vision to go check out the bar surrounds an hour before the rendezvous time. Meanwhile, Kippy went and hung out in the bar until closing time to watch what was going on there. Neither spotted anything unusual.

The rest of us filed in to the bar just before closing, as the staff were ushering the last patrons out. Six well armed men entered, followed by the barmaid (a slight woman in her 30s). Otto himself appeared from a side door. The pub was closed up so it was just us and them.

Otto offered us wine from a couple of expensive looking bottles. When we looked suspicious, he opened the sealed bottles in front of us and took a long drink from both, before insisting again that we drink as we talked. That was enough to convince most of us to drink. Jack, Ardern and I remained suspicious and held off.

“You’ve offended me tonight and you’ve offended people in Porn City. I’ve brought you here to give you a very simple and clear message. Get out of this town and don’t return either here or in Porn City or it will go very badly for you.”

"Who in Porn City is telling you that?"

"No-one," said Otto.

“We’re here to help,” said Munch. “People are going to try and kill you.”

“You’re accusing me of killing Vincent de Thoak,” said Otto. “That’s something I did not do. You need to get out of here.”

Ardern responded, “Are you glad Vincent’s dead?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” said Otto. “But where’s Magnus?”

“I can’t help you there,” said Ardern. “But would you like to know who’s saying this stuff about you in Porn City?”

“Who?”

“I need something from you first - who’s the next up the chain from you - who’s your boss?” 

“Who employed you to come here with this pathetic nonsense?” said Otto.

When we didn’t provide any more answers, he nodded to his men, who ushered us out. We returned to our lodgings at the Minotaur.

Poison, pain and fire


In the early hours of the morning, Esme, Kippy and Munch started suffering terrible stomach pain. Cody didn’t look great either, but was snoring through it. Those of us who could tried to make them more comfortable.

fire
"It was hell," recalled an onlooker.
Soon after, while Grim and Jack were on watch, there was a bit of a ruckus outside and soon we smelled smoke. It became apparent there was a fire in the building - we roused the others and made good our escape [a 1 on a 15 roll].

As we ran outside the main entrance, there was a whirrr in the air and Munch and Cody were hit by crossbow bolts (Munch saved against poison, Cody failed). More bolts flew in from the dark and we quickly retreated around the building into the stables, where we had our horses. Willow’s cart was just outside the stable doors.

At this point, Kippy dropped to the ground, writhing in pain. Esme cast Slow Poison on him to bring him back to consciousness.

Thud, thud, thud. Burning bolts now hit the stable doors and set the dry building on fire with us inside.

Willow, Esme and Jack attempted to cast Protection from Missiles on themselves. Only Jack was successful.

Quite a lot of healing was then done across the party to keep people conscious as various poisons worked through their bodies. Willow cured Cody, Ardern cured Esme and Munch. Willow then fell, requiring several people to get his heavy prone body on a horse.

Flight not fight


flight
Flight
We burst out of the stables on horseback or running; no time to save Willow’s cart. Munch was hit by a bolt and fell to the ground, bleeding. Jack bravely stood over the body while Esme administered yet another cure. They threw Munch over a horse and followed the rest of us out of town. After about 15 minutes of going as fast as we could we called a halt and took shelter in an old barn.

We rested best we could to More light cures and slow poisons were administered to keep our poisoned comrades alive. Once Willow was revived, Willow cured Munch. Ardern cured Cody. Esme and Munch were still very ill despite the cures and needed better juice. Jack was injured but mostly needed rest to recover. Kip was healed by Willow. Cody was healed by Ardern again. Some of the special wafers and grapes were used up.

After resting, the next day was used to continue the healings. But by nightfall, Munch and Esme were once again writhing in pain. By this point, Jack was up again and cast Slow Poison on both of them. Kippy administered heal potion to Cody before he himself started suffering again.

Ardern's the bomb


Jack suggested a proper Neutralize Poison [level 3] would be needed for a permanent cure to the suffering, otherwise all we were doing was delaying death. Ardern said, “I can do that. Let me help.” Unfortunately Ardern fumbled the spell, causing a minor explosion in the middle of the gathered party, damaging all. Only Jack and Rock were outside at the time and unaffected.

The rest of us were hurt bad. Grim was down to 2 hit points. But it was Munch who was most impacted, given he was already unconscious and had been poisoned three times and shot twice in a 48 hour period. He was heavily damaged from Ardern's explosion [took another 12 points of damage, and needed to make a CON roll or die].  All efforts then went on stopping the bleeding and getting Munch back to consciousness.

After much work by Ardern and Willow, Munch was able to speak again.

“You bastards are fucking useless, but you really, really fucked things up this time.”

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