Present:
- Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
- Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
- Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
- Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
- Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
- Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
- MARMALADING Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
- Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
- Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
- Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl
by Andrew
Recap
Porn City dilletante and sybarite, Viscount Vincent Thoak, had recently met a horrible death when he had taken possession of a powerful magical cursed spear-head. An adventurer named Magnus had delivered the spear-head to him.
Vincent's diary stated "I met this Magnus person. He had a gift for me. And he said it was a gift from Igor." Vincent had mining interests in a gold mine in Morganmine, a week's travel out of Porn City. Igor was the mine manager of said mine.
Magnus was now dead, at the party's hand.
The group had travelled to Morganmine and had questioned Igor, best they could: "I don't know who this bloke Magnus is, and I aint never not given him no spear, notwithstanding."
Igor had no connection to the Barbarian lands.
Also, the group was pretty sure that Magnus's travel from the Barbarian plains to Porn City did not go via Morganmine; he went via the tunnels and the Teleport
.
Magnus had said he was employed by the TG to give the spear to Vincent, but the party found no evidence to indicate that; Munch had visited the TG too, with no threads there.
Magnus had some Sancho money in his pockets.
Vincent had some Barbarian money in his hoard.
Morganmine
The party staked out Igor's house to spot comings and goings. Munch was chosen because he had soft hands, which nicely fitted in with Igor's paraphilia for young soft-handed boys.
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| The cursed dagger |
"That looks like mine!" exclaimed Munch.
"Yes, it is yours," said Oswald. "I found it. I am a 'surgeon'. I 'fix' problems. But it is cursed."
"No," protested Munch. "It is mine."
"No, the first person who had it, has it."
"Well, Munch was the first person to have it after the previous owners died," said Tom.
"No, I do not think that is true," said Oswald. "Grim, YOU are the cursed child. You had it before Munch."
So the dagger ended up back with Grim. There was some unknown curse on it.
[ This removed a treasure lash for Darryl. We run a socialist economy for treasure distribution, out-of-game. Jason did not get a lash, because the item was cursed. ]
The next day, Munch and Grim followed Igor all day. The only notable thing that happed was that Igor's man-servant Pedro took Igor's Zibrost-bull-mastiff Chuckles for a walk.
So, the next day, during Pedro's walk, Munch picked the lock to Igor's house, then Grim and Cody sneaked inside [Why does a wizard go with the sneakers? Well, Cody has the Shadow talent (Bonus roll for Sneak), so is surprisingly quiet]. In Igor's office, they found a silver dagger and five potions. All of these glowed under Cody's Detect Magic. So the three swiped the items. Then they rummaged through Igor's papers, finding nothing significant. (Cody can read too, a feat that neither Munch nor Grim can do). They left just before Pedro and Chuckles arrived home.
As soon as Pedro got home, he left rapidly, and rushed off to the mine office. Igor came rushing home.
Later, Oswald caught up to us: "Igor is upset and in a foul mood. Someone broke into his house. To quote him 'They left all sorts of vermin, and a horrible rancid smell of diarrhetic flatulence. I knows someone of that smell, but I can't put a face to him. That person is very lucky'."
On the road
Having exhausted Morganmine enquiries and now worried about Igor's new-found diligence, the group decided to leave Morganmine.
To act less suspicious, half the group left the next morning: Cody, Jack, Munch, Esme, Grim, Ardern. The rest (Tom, Kippy, Rock, and fat Willow) to follow the day after that.
The first group stayed at the first way-station between Morganmine and Littleton, the Emerald Carrot,
for a couple of days.
While they were there, Cody divined what the five stolen potions were: Healing [2d4+2], and he cast an Identify spell on the dagger: ignore armour. Cauterizes wounds.
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| Porn City Militia |
Between Swag and Porn City, they met a group of Porn City militia. These soldiers were searching for two escaped black slaves. No reward. "Except for the pleasure of watching them being eviscerated."
Back in Porn City
That evening, they all arrived at Porn City. At the Flabbergasted Radish there was a message for Cody: "Report to the Wizards' Guild ASAP."
Cody scurried off while the rest of the group found new digs in the Immature Buffoon.
Thespian summoned Cody to his office.
"You guys stole gold," snapped Thespian. "Thoak gold."
Cody blinked. "No sir. We reported that there was 9000gp left in Vincent's treasury, and assumed your auditors, lackeys and your cleaners would collect it all."
"Not it wasn't, It was you."
"No, sir. We are poor but honest adventurers who ..."
"Don't lie to me, you horrid little worm."
Thespian gave Cody two gold coins. They looked the same from a distance, but up close you could see minting differences.
"Oh," said Cody, deflated. But Thespian wasn't particularly angry.
"You can keep them," said Thespian. "Keep everything you stole. But know that I am watching you."
"Well, I vouch for my group that they are totally loyal to your cause, sir. We just came back from Morganmine. It was wild goose chase, sir."
"Do you know who killed Vincent?" snapped Thespian.
"No sir. Not yet sir."
"Then get out of my sight."
Back at the Immature Buffoon, Cody told the group.
"It's all bollocks!' claimed Munch. "No way can they identify those coins."
But looking close and the coins were, indeed, slightly different.
Constance and the Pit Fights
Munch went back to the Porn City Thieves' Guild. The Venning family ran it, so they knew all comings and goings.
Jack went and dumped huge piles of Thoak coins to his mates at the docks. This put him back into good standing with all the Jacks there, and regained some of the bad-mouthing that the Jacks had begun.
Grim did some research for other family members of the the deceased Viscount Vincent Thoak. He had two sisters: Alina and Constance, both in their twenties. Alina Thoak was a home girl and debutante. Constance Thoak was a tom-boy pit fighter. And she had a platonic friend called Dimitri Malbec who acted as her trainer and confidant.
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| Constance Thoak |
Constance was also fighting, but in the girlie heavy-weight division. She won a lot too. Unlike pretty boy Spandex, she was none too pretty.
At the pit fight, Grim attempted to get a signature of Constance, to get close to her. This loathsome ploy worked a treat, and then he tried to seduce her.
"Meet me at the Manacle and Whip ," she sighed breathlessly. "In four hours. Someone rolled a 1."
We returned to Immature Buffoon to plot.
Grim's hot date
Munch trailed Grim to the Manacle and Whip, to keep a weather-eye on him.
Grim revealed all; he opened his kimono and told Constance that his group has been employed by the Wizard Guild to investigate the death of her brother Vincent.
"I am looking who would make this kind of attack on your family."
"Lots of people did not like Vincent.," said Constance. "We didn't even like Vincent."
"Why is that?"
"He bats for the other side."
"But this is Porn City!" exclaimed Grim. "You guys should be into all things ... into all types of batting: cover-drives, hook shots, late-cuts to the third man, and reverse sweeps over 4th slip. And even with different types of bats."
"I know," she observed with a wry smile. "How ironic is that?
 |
| Freud's First Slip |
"Is there anyone you can think of who would benefit from the murder of Vincent?" asked Grim.
"No," said Constance. "I don't actually care. However, since you're a pretty boy ['Pretty' is not a adjective one would associate with Grim, but maybe he's good with his hands]. I can get you an audience with my father.
In four days. Sir Orrin Thoak - a retired mage."
More WG shenanigans
Cody returned to the Wizards Guild and got another audience with Thespian.
Cody asks the if they have Identified the spear-head. The weary Thespian reluctantly admitted that they had not. As it was a cursed item, such items are far too dangerous to dare identify.
Cody then pointed out that the spear was not a very good murder weapon. You can not guarantee it will kill the holder. For example, Magnus had held it many days, and it wasn't what killed him. Plus Cody had held it too.
Maybe these deaths were just side-effects of holding it.
As usual, Thespian was very rude and unhelpful.
The conclusion was that Vincent was totally innocent in this. Maybe his death was a side-effect rather than being intentional, batting for the wrong team, or not.
Dronk and Spandex
Munch approached Dronk and Spandex, Magnus's companions staying at the Hermitage boarding house, and managed to lure them out.
The party, all masked and hooded, took on the two friends in a blind alley. They both succumbed to Sleep and Command spells without any blood or violence. Then they got manacled, separated and the group questioned them.
Spandex did not know much about the Spear of Destiny, but said that Curtis Dronk had arranged that job with Magnus.
"I got told to pay Magnus," he whimpered "By a guy called Otto in Letchtown."
The group finished with: "If you say a word to Otto, we'll come back and get you."
"I don't care about Otto."
The party felt generous, rather than churlish, and the two wretches had not seen anyone's face, so rather than getting cement shoes, they were rewarded with 100gp each.
Letchtown was a day away from Porn City towards Highport.
Letchtown ho!
They tried to make me go to Letchtown, but I said, "No, no, no"Yes, I've been black, but when I come back, you'll know, know, knowI ain't got the time and if my SPandex thinks I'm fineThey tried to make me go to Letchtown, but I won't go, go, go -- Curtis Dronk
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