The Pig Skull

Fri 4-Jul-1603 (24-jun) cont...

The fighters in the party (Ab Siddy [Darryl], Elrick [Ian], Sean [Shane], Baron [Deacon], Joseph [Chris] and Art [Jeff]) had mistakenly engaged with eight O'Neill rebels. Three of the O'Neills were dead, with two unconscious and three still standing. Elrick and Sean were injured in the exchange. The rest of the party sheltered in the wagon; the non-combatants Thomas [Kevin], Sister Margaret [Charlotte], and the three girls Orla, Brigid and Eileen.

Sister Margaret said some words over the fallen, and then they were buried. The party then put the unconscious ones on the wagon, and the other three walked beside.

After an hour's trip south, they came to the secret pathway to the O'Neill fort. The group split up here: Art, Joseph and Baron continued with the wagon south to Bandon Bridge, and the rest headed to the O'Neill fort. They stretchered the unconscious ones to the camp.

Catriona was away - she was away until Monday, and the camp was run by a Lieutenant Casey.
The party stayed the night. Sister Margaret did her best to tend the unconscious ones. But one died during the night from extra injuries sustained when Sean tried to help.

Sister Margaret did her witch-finding in the camp to see if there was anything suspicious here. The only thing that made her stick shake was Ab Siddy. And shake it did; in spades.

Sat 5-Jul

Elrick's septicemia

It was a quiet night.

They left the O'Neill camp, returned to the road and walked to Bandon Bridge to reunite with the rest of the party. Elrick's gunshot wound had gone septic and was now a weeping mess. The helpful English soldiers stationed there offered him the gunpowder cure, but he respectfully declined.

Sister Margaret tended it dutifully with some first aid. There was a church in Bandon Bridge, so she tried curing his wound with her magical Chapel Heal, but with no success.

Sun 6-Jul

In the morning they left Bandon Bridge and headed for Kinsale. There was an English patrol en route who had not heard of the TTTT. So the wagon was summarily searched and the Spanish match-locks and gunpowder was threatened with confiscation. But some fast-talking and dropping hints about Colonel Cholmondeley manage to assuage the patrol.

They arrived in Kinsale just after lunch.

Sister Margaret happened to be checking with her witch-finding stick in the streets. Ab Siddy stood out like a sore thumb, of course, but she got a very strong indication coming from below the party's TTTT wagon.

Upon closer investigation, there was a pig skull screwed into the base of the wagon. They instantly suspected a Pig Peeker.  Their coach had been in the Witch-finder's possession in Corke for two days, so his men could have done anything to it. And their Pig Peeker had been confiscated, but this one was a bare skull and wasn't clad in pickled meat, so they didn't know if it was theirs. And as Art pointed out, it could well be a Pig Hearer, or a Pig Sniffer or a maybe Pig Locator, if they exist.

It was unscrewed and dutifully crushed into splinters with a wrecking hammer.

Elrick needed to rest a few days to let his wounds heal, so that presented an opportunity for Ab Siddy to go herb-hunting. So he and Art left Kinsale and headed north into the wilderness to search.

Mon 7-Jul

Ab found two batches of healing herbs.


Tue 8-Jul, New Moon

Ab found one batch of healing herbs and one of love.

Wed 9-Jul

Back in Kinsale, Ab stewed up the herbs in a cauldron to make four potions (3 Heal, 1 Love). Herbs distilled into potion form was the best way to preserve their magic [ -1 per week ]. Trying to preserve the herbs by drying degrades faster [ -2+ per week ]. Or doing nothing was even worse [ -3 per week ].

Witch-finder's Coach

That same day, the Witch-finder's iron coach arrived at Kinsale. It was assumed that the Witch-finder lost the Pig Peeker connection when the skull was smashed a few days ago, so had left Corke for Kinsale. He had a compliment of heavily-armed soldiers.

He summoned Sister Margaret to report her progress, and was not at all impressed when she admitted she didn't know where Ab was.

She surreptitiously tried her witch-finding stick in his vicinity. His heavy iron coach went off the scale, but he himself did not register at all.

And More Outlaws

Wed 2-Jul-1603 (22-Jun)

Sister Margaret Orleans [Charlotte]

The whole group was still staying in the Docks Lookout Inn (Thomas [Kevin], Roma [Chris], Elrick [Ian], Sean [Shane], Baron [Deacon] and his wife Orla, plus Eileen, and Brigid). Art was still wounded. And Ab Siddy [Darryl] was still staying in the TTTT cart in the Inn stables. Roma was no where to be seen.

They now had a new member in the group, Sister Margaret Orleans [Charlotte], who was a nun on retainer to the Witch-finder. She was here, at the behest of the Witch-finder, to find the witches Ab Siddy and Roma. Ab Siddy was surreptitiously told about this, so he stayed well clear, and out of Margaret's sight.

Joseph Hildenhall [Chris]

Roma was still no where to be seen.

Thomas met up with an old friend, a fellow thespian from London, called Joseph Thaddeus Hildenhall [Chris's new character]. Joseph was a tall solid, stolid handsome chap, but with many scars and missing pieces (ear tip, half a finger, tongue-tip, septum, foreskin). His forte was shooting and sword play, plus he could actually read. Now the group had two members who could read - Sister Margaret being the other one.

Art had been given an official-looking document by the Witch-finder. He knew that it had his name on it, but he could not read the rest. So, he showed it to Margaret. It was a warrant for Art Bowman's arrest "for AWOL" from the Baltimore Barracks, signed by Captain Carmichael. It was also a warrant for Baron Bliss's arrest "for Treason". In both cases: "Use of excessive and indiscriminate force approved."

"Best not let the English soldiers see that," warned Margaret.

Thu 3-Jul

A peaceful night.

Around noon, Art was healed well enough to leave his sick bed. So the group decided that they were leaving Corke; there were some malcontents in Fallis that needed contenting.

Ab Siddy hid under the bench seat of the wagon, to avoid the prying eyes of Sister Margaret. Joseph sat on the seat over his position and had to take the blame for the foul stench emanating from beneath him.

Eau de Siddy

"Did something die?" quipped Baron. "Smells like a dead cat."

When the TTTT wagon got to the South Gate of Corke, the gate guards gave them an honour-guard as they left through the gate.

After an hour or two, they arrived at Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. This was convent that Tess was staying at, and was also Sister Margaret's "home" convent.

Mother Superior there insisted on a Full Mass and prayer session. She freely used her cane to enforce attendance and behaviour.

Fri 4-Jul

A peaceful night passed; the TTTT camped in the convent grounds.

They left in the morning. It would be an easy day's travel to make Bandon bridge.

They met an English patrol on the road who knew the TTTT, and waved them through. The sergeant did warn them of outlaw activity.

They passed through Killrea (where Deacon was married) before noon, and didn't stop.

Halfway through the afternoon, the eagle eyes of Sean and Baron spotted a suspicious group of eight shadowing the cart off to the east side. The road was curving in that direction, so they suspected an ambush.

The best sneakers, camouflaged Ab, Sean and Elrick, circled around and got behind the eight, and their ambush position. Then opened fire.

There was a short battle; three of the ambushers were killed (two in cold blood), two were severely wounded and unconscious, and two were captured. Elrick and Sean received one wound [day to heal] each.

Unfortunately, it turned out that this eight were O'Neill rebels, under Catriona.

"... Then why'd you attack us?" said Art.

"YOU shot first! We were about to make demands when you shot," protested one of the captives.

Sister Margaret was hiding in the wagon, with the other women, throughout the whole battle, and keeping her head down. Now that the fighting had stopped, she emerged. It was at this stage that Ab decided to reveal himself to her. She confronted the ugly witch, and he promised to voluntarily return to the Witch-finder "when next in Corke".

Joseph was relieved; he no longer need to take the blame for being the source of the dead cat smell.

Interview with the Witch-finder

Sat 28-Jun-1603 (18-Jun)

The whole group was in the Docks Lookout Inn (Thomas [Kevin], Roma [Chris], Elrick [Ian], Sean [Shane], Baron [Deacon] and his wife Orla, Eileen, and Brigid, and the wounded Art [Jeff].) Ab Siddy [Darryl] was staying in the TTTT cart in the stables.

Art was still badly wounded from the Fallis outlaws attack of two days' ago, so the plan was for the group to stay in Corke to heal him back to 100%. This would take a week. [ scratch=15mins; wound=1 day; severe wound=1 week ]

Colonel Cholmondeley

Esther told the group that a man from the Witch-finder had been asking about them.

Later that day, some soldiers arrived from the New Fort. Colonel Cholmondeley (commander of the English forces in Corke), had invited Sean for luncheon. So, encouraged by the group to get info on the Witch-finder, Sean reluctantly went with them.

It was a sordid meal, but between gropes, fondles and unwelcome forays to his nether regions, Sean quizzed the Colonel and his adjutants about the military's connection to the Witch-finder. The Witch-finder and his soldiers were under tacit control the Church, so there was not much interaction between the groups. The Witch-finder was formerly with the Catholics, but after the Henry VIII schism, and like the Archbishop of Armagh, he managed to straddle the religious fence and represent both the Church of Ireland and the Catholics: "Witches come in all flavours" Galatians 5:20.

Sean politely declined the offer for a massage and a lavender bath.

Sun 29-Jun

It was a quiet night.

At mid-morning, another patrol of English soldiers came for Sean again; another luncheon invitation. Esther met them this time, and Sean managed to avoid them seeing him, but they were most insistent that, when Sean turned up, that he was to report to the Colonel.

Sean got Esther to teach him how to swim. His plan was to get out of Corke and away from the handsy Colonel, so he jumped into the Lee, next to the Inn wharf, and used his new swim skills in an attempt to swim for the Water gate. But, like the futile attempt by Art a few weeks ago, it was a sad and pathetic attempt indeed; he managed three feeble strokes before he started flailing and breathing water. He grabbed hold of the wharf ladder, coughing and spluttering, and pulled himself up.

Then, with gritty tenacity, he made one further attempt; but this was even worse. Esther was watching the drowning fiasco with growing concern (or was it contempt?); she had to fish him out with a boat-hook.

So, Sean took some of his share of the party funds, about five shillings [$6000 in today's money], and sought out one of the Corke whore houses. Here, he spent up large to be entertained and, more importantly, housed by the ladies. This would keep him away from the prying eyes of the Colonel's soldiers

Around midday, two different soldiers came into the inn. They were dressed in the grey and white livery of the Witch-finder. They went to the counter where Esther was on duty.

"Looking for the TTTT. They are staying here?"

Esther glanced over at Elrick and Eileen, then back to the soldiers.

"Yes, but they are all out."

"I see. Tell them his lordship wants to see them," one muttered. He added: "And they better not to leave town." Then they left.

Roma's rubbish trinkets

Later on in the day, Roma noticed that there were new Witch-finder guards at the two Corke road gates. And even one stationed by the Water gate.

So Roma set up a stall (cost one shilling) selling pikey rubbish trinkets on the street near the entrance to the Witch-finder's tower, so that he could keep a weather-eye eye on the place. This was a tall black imposing building near the South gate.

Mon 30-Jun

It was a quiet night.

Roma left first light to get back to his stall near the Witch-finder's tower. Just as he arrived, a squad of eight soldiers in Witch-finder livery, heavily armed, came jogging down the road and rushed past him. Roma carefully followed them.

The soldiers burst into the Docks Lookout Inn, at all three doors, and into the stables, simultaneously. They first rounded up the half-awake Elrick and Thomas, and broke down Art's door and hauled him out of his sick bed. And grabbed Baron, too, from his bridal suite and startled wife Orla.

They were led by a Captain Henri of French descent: "Heez Lordsheep wants a word."

Ab Siddy slept in the TTTT wagon in the stables. When the soldiers burst in, he used his Camouflage ability, and scurried up into the rafters.

stocks

The soldiers hauled the four off to the Witch-finder's tower, and hitched up the TTTT wagon and took it too.

At the Witch-finder's residence, they were summarily beaten, then put in standing stocks and left for a couple of hours, bent over.

Captain Henri and some of the guards idly questioned them, asking about the rest of the group.

A bit later, the room went cold. A figure in a black robe drifted in. This was the Witch-finder himself.

He started with Thomas, but was more interested in the exploits of the TTTT than serious questions. Apparently, he had been to a show. He finished with "Why do we hold an Englishman?"

So, Thomas was released.

The Witch-finder (Corke Tourism Board)

Next was honest Elrick. A few questions later, Erick was released.

The Witch-finder was looking for Ab Siddy and Roma, of course, the two witches who murdered little boys in Baltimore, and used their blood for witchcraft and deviltry.

He seemed to know all about Art's AWOL, and of Baron's connection with the Baltimore soldiers. Baron was originally tasked from Captain Carmichael of the Baltimore barracks to catch up to the group, and then report them to Sergeant Ken Tucky at Bandon Bridge. Apparently, Carmichael was even more furious about this treachery than Art's AWOL. Art would be flogged for his crimes, but Baron was scheduled to be hanged. But, the Witch-finder was not connected with the military, so he wasn't going to turn them over.

He was also interested in the party's encounters and experience with the sidhe.

Art and Baron were housed in the "Apartment" for the night. This was a cell, of course, but it did have a pallet bed. The Witch-finder had a nun on retainer: Sister Margaret. She fed the two prisoners a watery gruel, and tended their bruises and wounds from the severe beatings.

Tue 1-Jul

An hour after dawn, Captain Henri went into the cell. He told Art and Baron that the Witch-finder had decided to let them go (had the Colonel interceded after all?), but would be sending Sister Margaret to travel and stay with the group. Her mission was to find any sign of the witches Ab and Roma, and would report regularly. Should she go missing, it would not go down well. Besides, who would dare to harm a nun?

The TTTT wagon (and horses) was returned too, but it had been gone over with a fine-tooth comb, the Pig Peeker and the Spanish snaphance muskets had been confiscated.

Sean returned from the whores with one doxy in tow, which he had hired to be his wife. Accompanied with this new "wife", Sean went and saw the Colonel for luncheon. The presence of the girl certainly helped parry the Colonel's strongest and most insistent advances, and Sean had a delicious lunch; it only cost a few well-meaning gropes. This helped to ameliorate the Colonel's interest in Sean.

Back to Corke

Thu 26-Jun-1603 cont... (16-Jun)

In Killrea, Baron [Deacon] finished consummating his wife Orla while the rest of the group (Art [Jeff], Ab Siddy [Darryl], Thomas [Kevin], Brigid, and Sean [Shane, absent]) got the wagon loaded for the muddy trip to Corke.

Elrick [Ian] had already arrived in Corke with Eileen, having travelled by shallop up the Corke harbour from Terryhaven (from Fallis). He had the dory in tow with the intention of selling it in Corke.

At noon on the road to Corke, Thomas and Art were sitting on the bench seat of the TTTT wagon and watching the country side drift by.  Art now had the teamster skill, so they no longer needed Baron to walk next to the horses to whisper at them and keep them controlled. Baron had stopped taking the Clough Caint each morning since his accident. Roma now had it.

Suddenly, there was a flash up ahead and two musket balls struck home. One knocked Thomas into the back of the wagon, and one winged Art. Art decided a charge was in order, so ran down the road towards the shooters. He was hit again; a severe wound this time. Ab melted off to the side and camouflaged using his spell, and got into a position to use his bow. Roma, helped by Brigid, started loading the many muskets they had in storage.

Sean climbed onto the roof of the wagon and shot at the bandits with his heavy crossbow, and took one down. [ This was a major mistake; Sean should have been marmalading. A character whose player is not present can not do anything pro-actively. He is magically safe from injury too (unless total-party-kill). ]

There were eight malcontents and a short missile battle ensued. Two of the men were dropped [ was three, but the one Sean shot was resurrected ]. And the rest scattered over the country-side. Mention in dispatches to Ab Siddy and Art. But the group had suffered some major wounds. With no curing in the party now, apart from Ab's healing potions (of which there were none), it would be a long road to recovery [ scratch =15mins, wound=day, major wound=week ]. The bodies were looted and slung in the back.

Healing with gunpowder

An hour later they met an English patrol. These ones knew the TTTT and offered to cure the wounds. So, the soldiers sprinkled some gunpowder on each of Art and Thomas's wounds, held them down, and ignited the powder. There was a bright flash and ... each received another major wound.

"Gee, thanks."

"You are very welcome," said the friendly Sergeant. "I am sure."

The party showed the bodies of the two bandits to the patrol. They had anchor tattoos on their arms.

"Oh, those are from Fallis," said the knowledgeable Sergeant. "The Fallis Outlaws, in fact."

That was valuable information.

"Do you want the bodies?"

"Just their ears." The soldiers hacked off the ears, and chucked the corpses over the bank.

Another hour later, they got to Our Lady of Perpetual Succour, where Tess was residing. So they drove into the convent and met some old faces.

Mother Superior (OLoPS)

Tess managed to convince the Mother Superior to bless the wounds of Art, Thomas and Baron (his wrist wound from that unfortunate crossbow accident). So, in the chapel, the Mother poured stinging holy water on each wound, in turn, and said some prayers over them (2nd Thess 2:9), and lo and behold, with a bit of spectacular luck, all three wounds were healed! Sadly, only the recent gunpowder wounds for Art and Thomas - they still had their shot wounds. But Baron was happy to get his left hand back

"One miracle per wound," said the Mother Superior bluntly.

"But I have several separate wounds," protested Art.

"Then one miracle per person," she said, holding out her hand. "Mark six five."

They gave the nuns all the money they had looted from the bandits: 12 pennies [ $120 ].

"I cin see that the good Lord hasn't blessed ye with generosity," sniffed the Mother. Then added: "First Peter four ten."

Later that afternoon, they arrived in Corke. The gate guards were more than happy to usher them and their cargo of gunpowder and arms inside. They went to Ye Docks Lookout and met up again with Esther.

Elrick and Eileen were already here since yesterday. He had failed to sell the Dory.

A shady looking man approached them: "The eagle has landed."

powder barrels

Was that a password? They suspected this man was Catriona's contact. He knew about the four smuggled gunpowder barrels, and said he'd bring a wagon to the stables, to load, tonight "when the moon is highest in the sky".

Moon tables and nautical almanacs weren't in proliferation in 1603, and anyway, none of the party could read, but Esther, the font of all knowledge, seemed to know: "The moon was full on the thirteenth; three days ago. Full moons are highest at midnight, and the moon rises about an hour later every day. So, work it out."

Ab Siddy, El gato and Roma were set to guard the wagon. Baron was in a separate room with his beloved. Art was too sick to do anything, still wounded, so wasn't on watch. Sean was poorly with marmalade. That left Elrick, Thomas, Eileen and Brigid to be available for extra support during the night, if needed.

Some time after dark, there were some suspicious noises at the stable door. It was way too early for Catriona's man, so Ab and Roma set a trap, They caught two malcontents breaking and entering; both were dropped by Ab's bow. Ab was about to cut their throats and dump the bodies in the Lee, but Roma noticed one was of Romany extraction. So, still unconscious, the two thieves were spared and reunited with the other Romanies in Corke. Roma was wanting to stay on good terms with that group anyway.

Fri 27-Jun (17-Jun)

Catriona's contact's wagon did eventually arrive. They unloaded all the arms and munitions into it.

In the morning, the TTTT planned a show for tonight. Esther was happy to cater and liquor it again and the party would get the usual 20% cut. Roma invited his pikey mates in to work the crowd, for his usual cut.

The day was uneventful, and it was soon show time.

After a terrible start, the show went surprisingly well, better than Bannon Bridge three nights ago.

• Thomas's flageolet playing was the worst it had ever been. Vaudeville critics described it later as "two enraged cats fightin' in a bag". 
• But Roma's mad king Charles VI went well and his talking goose head managed its witty ad-libs with aplomb. 
• Art was too sick for the interpretive dance this eve, so Sean stood in for him, taking Brigid's hand. Surprisingly, the trio (Sean, Elrick & Baron) danced with grace and style, and managed to get the interpretive meaning across to the audience with alacrity.
• The marksmanship exhibition was Sean only (he seemed to rise above his marmalade malaise), and he shot the apple off Elrick's hand, pinning it to the far wall, with no problems. 
• Roma had the Clough Caint and he ordered the greased pig to bite Sean. So, it ended up dragging the shrieking Sean about the stage by his beard, then it squatted on him and emptied its foul pig bowels all over him. This brought the house down.

Takings were good: 315 pennies (incl Esther's share).

Colonel Cholmondeley, commander of the New Fort, was in attendance, with his entourage and adjutants. He had taken a liking to the rotund Sean last time the party was in Corke ("Got to love the beard! Something to hang on to.") so he graciously offered to take the injured Sean back to the barracks to tend his wounds ("sans gunpowder"). Roma graciously agreed in Sean's stead.

lavender oil

Later on that night, Sean was returned to the inn, still bearing the pig bruises and pig bites, and now bearing some other bites. He walked gingerly and had trouble sitting too. But at least he had been bathed, and reeked no longer of sweat, lard and pig faeces, but of carbolic soap and lavender.

On the Road

Wed 18-Jun-1603 (8-Jun)

The party (Art [Jeff], Roma [Chris], Sean [Shane, absent], Thomas [Kevin], Ab Siddy [Darryl], Baron [Deacon], and Elrick [Ian]) was in the Rebels' secret Rinalmead Fort. Catriona wanted them to  embark on smuggling missions for the rebels, because the English patrols were happy to let the party's T.T.T.T. wagon into towns unsearched. (T.T.T.T. was, of course, Thomas's Travelling Troupe of Tempests). But TTTT needed to increase their repertoire and needed a new show, so Thomas set to work and brainstormed with the others. After a bit of thought, they settled upon a mash-up between the battle of Agincourt, 1415, and the story of St Crispin (after all, the actual battle took place on St Crispin's day, 25th October).

St Crispin & Crispinian

Twins Crispin and Crispinian were born in Faversham, Kent, about 260 AD. They were Christians and fled persecution for their faith, ending up at Noviodunum in Gaul (now Soissons near Paris), where they preached Christianity to the Gauls whilst making shoes by night. They became superb cobblers and got rich, and gave aid to the poor. Their success attracted jealous ire of Rictus Varus, governor of Belgic Gaul, who had them tortured, but the first miracle occurred and the torturers' weapons magically attacked the torturers (see right). Then the governor had the twins boiled in tar, but the second miracle occurred and they survived. Then he had them thrown into the river with millstones around their necks, when the third miracle happened and they survived that too. But then they were finally beheaded in 25-Oct 286.

Thu 19-Jun

Catriona gave them their first mission. To smuggle all the gunpowder and arms from Fallis (from the Spanish which the party had helped land two weeks ago) into Corke. It would be enough to fill their cart. She wrote them a letter to give to the headman of Fallis, to explain this.

So they left on foot, to pick up the TTTT cart in Bannon Bridge.

Then a hard day's ride from Bannon Bridge to Kinsale and then to Fallis.

When Art approached the Fallis headman, he refused to give over the arms, asking for a five poiund fee for the rent of the barn where the stuff was hdden.

He claimed that this was agreed by Catriona and that her letter confirmed this. No-one in the party could read, so they could not confirm this.

Fri 20-Jun

So Art grabbed a horse and left for the rebel fort, to get confirmation from Catriona herself.

He got to the fort just before dark. She confirmed that the headman was talking crap.

"You're a big boy, Art," she said. "Deal with it."

Sat 21-Jun

Art headed back to Fallis, but he thought he'd try a quicker a cross-country short-cut. But he got totally lost, so had to retrace his steps back to the main road. This wasted so much time that he had to spend the night in Bannon Bridge.

Sun 22-Jun

Art took the normal route, and got back to Fallis about lunch time.

Art, Elrick, Sean and Baron confronted the headman. He had two bully boys with clubs, but he soon backed down when confronted by the armed party.

So they loaded up the cart, ready for the morning. The four large barrels of gunpowder and 25 Spanish match-locks certainly filled up the cart. They painted the powder barrels in garish colours to make them look like stage props, in case they were searched by English patrols.

The party's shallop was docked here at the Fallis wharf, and Elrick planned to take it to Terryhaven to collect the dory in the morning. And then head to Corke where he would meet the party.

But Elrick's Weather Sense predicted a storm tomorrow.

Mon 23-Jun (Full moon)

Baron's wrist

Sure enough, a big storm arrived, with heavy rain and large seas. Not willing to travel today, they waited in the Fallis tavern all day. They practised their new show. Unfortunately, while doing marksmanship experimenting, Sean fired his heavy crossbow at Baron who was holding an apple, and missed. The heavy bolt passed right through Baron's left wrist [ -4 fumble ], blowing a hole the size of a fist.

Ab had two Heal potions he had brewed a few weeks ago, so Baron drank these to try to heal, but they had both degraded [ potions don't keep ] so there was no effect.

Tue 24-Jun

Elrick took Eileen to keep him company and help sail the shallop. They left at first light. The trip to Terryhaven was straight forward, and there were still two English warships at the heads of Corke harbour.

They stayed that night in the barn in Terryhaven.

The rest of the party travelled from Fallis through Kinsale to Bannon Bridge. They were met by English patrols on the road who insisted that they perform at Bannon Bridge that night. The group agreed as it would give them a chance to try out the new show.

• Thomas's flageolet playing went well and his voice was good. He set the scene of the Crispin twins and the french preparations for battle.
• Next came Roma's ventriloquism act. This time he was the mad French king Charles VI talking to the devil (skull on his shoulder) and goose head which stuck out his fly. (Thomas had seen Shakespeare's Henry V, from four years ago, so he couldn't help but take some ideas from that).
• Then Ab Siddy's Death, which was always a success.
• Interpretive dancing was the trademark of TTTT, so they made full use of it. The two rebel girls Brigid and Orla were good dancers, so took Art and Baron through their paces.
• Shooting and heavy crossbow marksmanship went well.
• The greased pig was always popular, so the show finished with Sean riding a rented pig.

They made 80 pennies.

Damiana

Wed 25-Jun

The roads were still muddy from the heavy raid two nights ago, so they could not get to Corke in a single day, and would thus make for half-way; Killrea instead.

During the trip, Orla was making doe eyes at Baron, sitting next to him, and whispering sweet nothings in his ears.

When they arrived in Killrea that afternoon, Ab Siddy went to the local midwife and got some damiana and hensbane. With this, he got out his cauldron and brewed up a Love Potion IX using his Magic Herb Lore spell. This was given to Baron under the pretense that it was a Heal potion to cure the wrecked wrist, and he happily drank it.

Orla and Baron

Ab made sure that it was Orla to be the very first person Baron saw after consuming the potion. This done, now Baron only had eyes for her. In order for them not to break Catriona's command, the group took the two lovers to the local priest from Killrea, and he was happy to perform the marriage ceremony.

"Now are they not twayne then, but one flesh. Let not man therfore put a sunder, yet which God hath coupled together," said the Priest. "I now pronounce you man and wife."

The priest found a house for the happy couple to spend the night in.

T.T.T.T. does Corke

Sat 14-Jun (4-Jun) continued ... 

The party (Art [Jeff], Roma [Chris], Sean [Shane], Thomas [Kevin, absent], Ab Siddy [Darryl], Baron [Deacon], and Elrick [Ian], plus the five Spaniards), left Our Lady of Perpetual Succour after their not-so-successful performance, and headed towards Corke.

They met an English patrol along the way, who recognized the TTTT straight away.

"Are you playing in Corke tonight? Where?" said the sergeant.

"In the city."

"We will be there!"

They climbed the hills around Corke, and then headed down into the Lee river valley, past the New Fort, which was where most of the English soldiers were stationed since the Nine Years war, and proceeded into the city. There were no problem at the gates; they were just waved through - Spaniards and all.

Now that they were inside Corke, Contessa and her boys left the group.

"We return tonight for ze show," she promised.

Ester

The party went straight to Ye Docks Lookout and reconnected with Ester. Ester, a bright girl, was now the manager there, and basically ran the place for the owner Toby Staunchness, an English absentee landlord.

First off, Ester gave them back the Pig Peeker. It had been pickling in brine for almost three weeks. This could be carried in the wagon, and be kept in its pickle barrel. That would slow its deterioration.

Ester could get them a hall to perform tonight, and she could send out criers to announce the show. It would hold 300 souls. Ye Docks Lookout would cater the place and provide food and drinks with the party getting 25% of the profit.

Roma contacted his pikey mates and they would provide street entertainment, as well as "fleecing entertainment" of the patrons. Roma would get a cut of this.

Just before the show began, Elrick went looking for the Spaniards. He found Contessa near the venue speaking to a group of soldiers dressed in the Witch-finder's livery. He didn't confront her there and them, but told the group.

The show went really well.

• Thomas's oration and flageolet playing was adequate.
• Roma's ventriloquism was great. The Bay of Biscay storms came through clearly, and St Paul's crossing of the Mediterranean to Cyprus was the best he had done. His goat skull doll (which had now lost all its rotting skin) croaked out "ze storm, ze storm!" in a masterpiece of vocal perfection.
• As expected, Sean did muck up his interpretive dance again, and it deteriorated into a disgusting writhing break-dancing mess; but this was par for the course. The frustration of the Duke of Parma never got across to the crowd. Not aided by the sight of Sean's wobbly buttocks, when his shift rode up from the fitful writhings, which never failed to turn stomachs.
• But Elrick, Sean and Baron nailed the dance of the Molly's; the English fire-ships were brought out in the Galliard dance, and Battle of Gravelines was interpreted superbly by the Courante. 
• The sharpshooting went well. That never failed to impress. 
• And the greased pig riding was fine. Sean didn't fall off.

They got a raucous ovation, and a heap of coins were tossed onto the stage. After expenses, and including gate admission and their cut of Ester's refreshments and drink, they made a tidy sum of 518 pennies. Divided by twelve (the group plus the Spaniards), this came to three shillings sixpence each plus some sundries for the kitty.

Later that evening, they confronted Contessa about what Elrick had seen. She was a bit cagey, but revealed that she had "important matters" to discuss with Witch-finder's men. Despite questioning, the group could not fathom if her dealings were with the Witch-finder himself, or his men. Or if there was some friction between him and the men. Contessa's English degraded, probably deliberately, and she made full use of any ambiguity of Spanish syntax. They did get a name however: Ratchet O'Reilly, the sergeant of the Witch-hunter's guard. Ester, who had a wide network of Corke notables, did not know anything significant about this guy.

Sun 15-Jun

They were woken early in the morning by envoys of the English Colonel Cholmondeley from New Fort making sure that they were to perform tonight in the fort. Dinner would be provided. They assured the aides that this was the case, and that they would be there before sunset.

They spent the day tying up loose ends in Corke. Contessa and her boys would perform with the party at the show tonight, but would then be leaving them to head back to Bannon Bridge. Since the party was planning on heading there themselves, after the New Fort performance, they could stay for the ride.

There was no problem at the gate leaving Corke. The guards waved them through. In fact, all the gate guards, who had been at last night's show, clapped the TTTT as they left.

At New Fort a large marquee had been put up, with a make-shift stage. The camp victualler had a small farmyard - after all, New Fort contained a battalion of soldiers (about 1000) - so he was happy to supply a pig for the show. Baren was keeping up with the daily swallowing of the Clough Caint, so he was in charge of wrangling it with pig-whispering.

Unlike last night, the show was not so good. Anything with dancing was a shambles. Thomas had reverted to his bad playing. But the audience, entirely of soldiers, still liked the pig-riding, and the sharpshooting, and Contessa and the Mollys' boobies, so they gave a polite clap at the end.

The group was payed a pound.

Ab Siddy suggested that they should leave straight after the show, even though it was dark (and it was overcast) and the roads were treacherous and you could easily break a wheel. But qualms were unfounded, and they travelled for an hour, with no damage, then stopped for the night.

Mon 16-Jun

The trip to Bannon Bridge was uneventful. Patrols of English soldiers knew the TTTT now, so not only were they never stopped or searched, but they were often clapped or cheered.

They stayed the night in the tavern at Bannon Bridge.

Eileen

Tue 17-Jun

Contessa and her fops left the party here. They were headed towards Baltimore. So they said their good-byes and parted.

When Catriona of the Rebels was last with the group in Fallis, she had given Art instructions as to how to find the secret path to the Rebels' secret Rinalmead Fort. This secret track left the road between Bannon Bridge and Killerea, but it was not suitable for a cart, nor even for a horse. So the party agisted their TTTT cart and horses in Bannon Bridge, and walked up to the path. Then spent the rest of the day walking down this goat track. It was a well-trod goat track, but none-the-less was still windy and convoluted.

Brigid

They arrived at the Rinalmead Fort. It was a tent town guarded by plenty of volunteers, and now guarded by the new bronze cannons that the Rebels had got from the Spanish in Fallis.

Catriona came out to greet the group. She had heard about the TTTT's success.

"We think it's a good idea to use you and yer wagon to smuggle," she said. "You can go in and out of cities performin'. And ye can be takin' stuff for us and for the rebellion. Cos ya don't get searched. What say you?"

The party, mercenary to a tee, asked what was in it for them.

Orla

"Well, we aren't rich, and we can't be payin' yer much silver, but we can let you take a cut of the smuggled stuff."

"We will also need some more girls ... I mean ... ladies to join our troupe," pushed Thomas. "We lost our best dancer in Contessa."

Catriona rounded up three girls from the rebels: Eileen, Brigid, and Orla. It wasn't hard; the prospect of living in towns and in wagon certainly beat a squalid life in the tent under fire.

Catriona added: "If they be gettin' pregnant, then you'll be marryin' them. Is that clear?"

The party nodded sheepishly. Butter wouldn't melt.

Roma beamed.

Thomas's Travelling Troupe of Tempests

Mon 9-Jun-1603 (30-May)

The group was in Fallis, and admiring their new gunpowder keg, reward for their work: Art [Jeff], Roma [Chris], Sean [Shane], Thomas [Kevin], Ab Siddy [Darryl], Baron [Deacon, absent], and Elrick [Ian absent, but played by Charlotte].

Catriona and her rebels were about to head inland to the concealed Rinalmead Fort with the new stock of weapons, the gunpowder and cannons delivered by the Spanish. She asked if the party wanted to come too.

The party had a chat among themselves. Roma wanted to stay back and harry the English. He was pretty sure they could go to the Kinsale docks, and sneak on board and steal one of the packets. That, or sink it.

While they were talking, there was a disturbance at the wharf. A dory was headed up the Stick river towards Fallis wharf. Worried that the dory occupants were English, orders were shouted, and everyone hid or found cover. But instead of English soldiers, four well-dressed men and a lady stepped onto the wharf. They were Spaniards! Catriona, a bunch of O'Neill elders, and the party rushed out to greet them.

The lady could speak English, and she introduced herself as Contessa Garcia Lopez of Barcelona. They had come from another Spanish warship, the Santa Fe, standing at anchor off the coast, out of sight. Its crew was not as brave as the party to come ashore yesterday, so they had waited for the waves to lessen. With her were her four retainers: Pedro, Manuel, Don Quixote and Alejandro [names christened by the party] - Spanish fops. Two had muskets, and they all had rapiers and cuirasses.

Contessa Lopez

Fop Pedro took an immediately liking to the attractive Elrick, and not a moment passed when he wasn't at Elrick's side. Pedro could not speak any English, so he made up for that with helpful grabs, gestures and gropes of endearment. Elrick resisted a while, but then gave in to the constant attention. This wasn't helped when Roma told Contessa to tell Pedro that Elrick was a "true Molly".

Speaking of Roma, when the Spaniards arrived, he sat crouched under the wharf in his usual spot. Here, the lech could peer up through the gaps between the boards (especially where one or two had broken away), and could get a good view up women's skirts as they went down the wharf. He wasn't disappointed when Contessa walked overhead; he caught a glimpse of shapely stockinged-calf, and expensive Spanish bloomers.

Contessa didn't beat about the bush; she wanted to go to Corke. And it was important not to go via sea. Catriona looked at the party.

"A job for you lot, maybe?" she asked.

Thomas, the party leader, took Contessa indoors in the Fallis Inn, to negotiate a suitable fee. She needed to get inside Corke, but she would not say who she wanted to meet there.

"We will discuss zem at a more suitable time. But is urgent, I need to go in Corke."

Thomas settled for the price of three doubloons and ten shots.

They looked at the overland route from Fallis to Corke, directly north. Catriona offered the group Patrick to guide them as the route was all off-road, but Sean was certain that he had this. So he had a wee chat with Pat "just to check".

"You do know," said Patrick. "That you'd first head north following the river Stick, on the east side, mind. Yuh, wouldn't want to wallow through the Ballycinough Slough in the dark..."

"East side ... yes, of course not," said Sean.

"An' then yuh get to place where the Stick branches in two and yuh head up the..."

"east..?"

"... the west branch, and it's a stream now, mind, and yuh come to the spring, where there's the well-house, by the Shallow Hill..."

"Shallow Hill..."

"From there head to the white rock by the Tynsale forest; yuh can see it on a clear day from the hill, unless ..."

"Yes, yes," said Sean impatiently.

"And the rock is the best place to enter the forest else you get stuck at the gorge, if you take the obvious north path. An' that adds another day. Then through the forest, and you know the rest."

"Um, yes," said Sean sagaciously.

Sean presented himself to the group and stated authoritatively: "I know the route. Well."

"So you'll not be needin' Patrick," said Catriona.

"Aye, we won't," said Sean before anyone could interrupt.

But when Contessa heard of the overland route, which involved dirty mud and swamps, and prickly forests, she wasn't very pleased.

"I need wear my riding culottes," she said. "Unseemly."

"Shallots?" asked Roma.

"Culottes, breeches. Like Diane de Poitiers wears. Spanish ladies no ride side-saddle, so we wear culottes to straddle the horse. But zey are not so seemly."

But they came up with a better plan. A cunning plan. So cunning you could shave it and feed it to marmosets and no-one would notice. They would resurrect the TTTT: Thomas's Travelling Troupe of Tempests. The performers' numbers would be swelled by Contessa and her four retainers - their Spanish finery would go down well. The show that they performed for the English sailors and marines (ten days ago) would be a shadow of what they would perform now.

So, Thomas would create a story, a morality play, to tell the story of the failed Spanish Armada juxtaposed onto the 44 AD journey of St Paul from Syrian Antioch to Lystra, through allegory, metaphor, ekphrasis and allusion. It would have tragedy, humour, romance, unrequited love, dramatic irony, bibliomancy and a moral heart, and plenty of circumlocution and periphrasis. Key features:

Sean and the greased pig

• Thomas would orate the whole show, and supply the incidental music with his flageolet.
• Ab Siddy, dressed as Death (scythe and all), would scare the crowd with his hideous visage - made pale with talc.
• Roma found a rotting goat's head in the Fallis midden, and made it into a hand-puppet with movable jaw. This would be the devil, and Roma would speak through it with ventriloquism.
• Contessa would teach Elrick, Sean, and Baron some formal court dances: the lively Galliard, and the stately Courante. As those three all had two left feet [dance skill=Poor], she had her work cut out for her. They would be partnered up with the Spanish fops, and would be the "lady" - a "Molly". Pedro would partner Elrick, Don with Baron and Manuel with Sean (and Contessa with Alejandro). The mollies would borrow Contessa's spare dresses, petticoats and shifts. She had wigs too. And a make-up case as big as the keg. And a ripple-free looking glass.
• Art, Baron and Sean would perform various circus tricks of juggling,  crossbow and musketry marksmanship.
• And the finale would be dwarf Sean, in heavy make-up, a lady's shift and wig, riding a greased pig onto stage. Baron had the Clough Caint and thus he could speak pig, and so give it instructions.

But first they needed a travelling performers' wagon.

Tue 10-Jun

Thomas, Baron, Elrick and Sean went to Kinsale to buy a wagon. And some horses.

From Fallis, it was only a few hours walk to Kinsale, so they got there mid morning and went straight to the wainwright. He had a brand new covered wagon available immediately and a second-hand dray. He wanted three pounds for the cart. The dray was 16 shillings. But this dray was a two-wheeler, and it had no cover.

So they negotiated him down to to two pounds ten shillings. He agreed, but only if he could supply the horses - one pound ten for two cart horses; four pounds all up. He'd have them ready the next day. Plus he'd throw in a coat of paint - bright red, with gaudy and garish yellows and oranges.

They stayed the night in the Kinsale Inn.

Wed 11-Jun

Next morning, they went fabric shopping to get material for ribbons, streamers and bows, in the brightest colours available.

Then went to get their new wagon.

Thomas couldn't write, but he did know how to paint TTTT. So "TTTT" was painted, in white, on the outside.

No-one had cart skills and no-one even had riding skills. However, Baron could talk to the cart horses (via the Clough Caint) so he could walk along side them and tell them where to go. Thomas sat up straight on the seat, like a dandy, loosely holding the reins and pretending to drive.

They met an English patrol. The soldiers were interested to hear about the TTTT, and let them past.

They arrived back in at Fallis around noon, and spent the rest of the tarting up the TTTT Wagon.

The wagon could seat two on the drive seats and six comfortably inside, or eight at a pinch. So all the gear of the party could squeeze in, but, with the Spaniards, some would need to walk.

Thu 12-Jun

They left before dawn, bypassed Kinsale and headed straight to Bandon Bridge - this was the only good road route to Corke.

They met a few English patrols during the day. There were definitely more English around than a few weeks ago. But the patrols regarded them more with interest than as a threat. And nearing Bandon Bridge, the English patrols actually turned around to return to the town with the possibility of a show tonight.

The group arrived at Bandon Bridge. They spoke to Captain Persimmon at the barracks, and he was more than happy to have his men entertained. So he requisitioned them a hall, and they set up for the show. Baron sourced a pig to rent for the evening. The soldiers and camp-followers filled the hall; there must have been over 200.

The show began.

• Thomas was orator and musical accompaniment. His flageolet playing was good, and his melodious voice carried over the assembled crowd. 
• Roma played Philip II of Spain with the goat's head devil sitting on his shoulder; the devil could talk via ventriloquism. Philip and his devil's tete-a-tete covered the initial Armada invasion plans and Bay of Biscay storms, then transitioned into St Paul visiting Seleucia and covered the trip to Cyprus and storm: "Ze storm! Ze storm!" shrieked the devil, like Tattoo from Fantasy Island.
• Ab Siddy's Death was a success, as he strode, leering and swiping, with his scythe, among the frightened audience. Ab came out between scenes and was the foil for Thomas's orator. 
• Then came Sean. He never managed to get his interpretive dance scene right during practice, and this time was no exception: it was a painful abomination of a dance as he writhed on stage, half-naked, like a pathetic broken break-dancing worm. This interpretive dance represented St Paul preaching the gospel in the Salamis synagogues (Salamis -> salami -> sausage -> worm *rim-shot*), as well as the frustration of Duke Parma unable to get his Spanish army over to England because of Dutch flyboats (flyboat -> fly -> maggot -> worm). 
• After this, followed the Dance of the Mollies: Contessa, her four Spanish fops, and Elrick, Baron and Sean again, dressed up as girls, wigs bedecked, and heavy make-up; they shuffled out the Courante dance (interpretive of English Fire-ships) and then staggered the faster Galliard dance (the Battle of Gravelines). The three flat-footed mollies stumbled about contrasted by the Spanish whirling and cavorting with grace, ease and style. This was Thomas's literary coup: the ironic juxtaposition of Spanish gains in impending defeat! 
• Elrick and Sean stayed on stage and were joined by Art where they did their shooting and crossbow tricks. Crossbow-shooting an apple between Art's legs represented St Paul fleeing from Pisidian Antioch, and musket-shooting an apple out of Sean's mouth represented the Spanish failure to dead-reckon longitude above Scotland, of course. 
• Then Thomas kept the audience entranced with his voice and flageolet, and Ab did some more Death leering. 
• This gave Contessa enough time to grease up Sean and to grease the rented pig. Then he mounted it and the pig charged across the stage, egged on by Baron's pig-whispering threats, squealing and shrieking. This, of course, represented the remnants of the Spanish fleet as they were smashed by storms onto Scottish and Irish rocks, and St Paul's crest-fallen arrival to Lystra.

There was complete silence after the show as the audience sat, stunned; you could hear a pin drop - except for the now-hysterical pig, squeals slowly diminishing, as it ran down the road. Then there was thunderous applause, and a standing ovation. Coins, flowers, pieces of fruit, hard-biscuits and candles were tossed on stage.

Afterwards, they counted 46 pennies, and enough candles to light the next show.

Fri 13-Jun

The TTTT had a leisurely day and got to Killerea, halfway to Corke, a couple of hours before dark.

There was a make-shift English barracks here, and only one platoon of soldiers. But the Lieutenant was interested in a show (word had preceded them from the TTTT triumph last night in Bandon Bridge). So they set up, Baron hired a local pig, and the show went ahead.

It was not nearly as good as last night, and if anything could go wrong, it did. Even though Ab's Death was scary, and the musket and crossbow shooting was accurate, Thomas's oratory and flageolet was appalling, Sean's interpretive worm dance was particularly bad, the Dance of the Mollies was a fiasco, and Sean fell off the greased pig.

The audience was not very appreciative and only gave a desultory clap. And a handful of coins were thrown on stage: four pennies.

Our Lady of Perpetual Succour

Sat 14-Jun

They left Killerea late morning and at noon arrive they passed the convent Our Lady of Perpetual Succour.

"Isn't that where Tess was originally headed?"

So they went in, and were greeted by the Mother Superior and ... Tess too.

Hugs all round.

Sean hadn't met Tess, of course, but he'd heard the scandalous stories about her and the Deacon.

"... so the Father got you pregnant?" he asked, looking at her belly.

"Certainly not!" exclaimed Tess.

"Well, Roma said that's why you left."

"No," said Roma peevishly. "I said I heard the Father got her pregnant. Someone said this."

She glared at Roma.

"Where is the Deacon anyway?" asked Art, changing the subject.

"Oh, he said he was off to Limerick."

Thomas offered to do a matinee performance for the nuns.

When the Mother Superior heard it was a morality play, and when she heard that St Paul was covered, she was more than happy for them to perform.

The convent had a pig sty, so Baron coaxed out a pig. They set up on the grass and all the nuns were seated to watch.

If anything, the show was worse than last night at Killerea. Everything went wrong except the sharp-shooting. Sean fell off the greased pig again. Baron had chosen a bad-tempered one, and it bit Sean.

Tess struggled not to laugh. As did most of the nuns. They enjoyed the violent action, the cumbersome dancing, the puppetry and the pig riding.

But not the Mother Superior. She was incensed. She didn't mince her words, and she didn't suffer from Emperor's-new-clothes syndrome.

"So how exactly does that disgustin' writhin' cross-dressin' dwarf represent Saint Paul?" she asked. "And, in the Good Lord's name, how does ridin' a...a pig have anythin' to do wit' da stonin' in Antioch?"

They looked at the ground sheepishly.

"It's an allegory," said Thomas weakly. "The pig represen..."

"I'll allegory YOU," she snapped, and punched him in the nose.

"We'll not be doin' another matinee performance," said Ab Siddy abruptly.