Bear the Bold

 

The cast: Bear [Ian], Dexter [Jamie], Gillard [Kevin], Debbie [Steven], Myrtle [Andrew], Oliver [Jeff], Tu [Shane], Ouzo [Darryl], Scuttle [Chris]

Seeking new jobs to assuage the guilt of their failure, our merry band of adventurers found suitable lodgings at the 'Sign of the Iron Buttock', a well known haunt for ne'er do wells. An alternative was the 'Mistress and Crop', which led to the group commenting on the S & M names inns have in this town and their hometown. "It can't be like this everywhere," Scuttle mused, "after all, it's a very small sample. It would be a mistake to draw a conclusion from this."

*Apparently the RNG only gives out S & M nouns. I wonder who programmed it? Or if indeed the 'programme' even exists . . . *

After resting, upon daybreak, we checked out the local jobs. There were three jobs:

1. Brave adventurers wanted to retrieve valued art works. Apply at local establishment #1.

2. Intrepid adventurers wanted to escort slaves into the badlands to a gold mine. Apply at local establishment #2.

3. Help! My daughter is missing - top $$$$$$ paid for finding her (alive). Apply at local establishment #3.

After agreeing that perhaps escorting live civilians wasn't their forte, despite slavery being legal in Toluene, the group ruled out option two. "We need a job that doesn't involve people," said Tu. 

Upon further investigation of the jobs, taking on job #1 involved sneaking into the derelict centre of town to retrieve valued family heirlooms. Which was policed by the local guards. No-one was allowed in on pain of death. Job #2 was pretty much as described.

Which explains why the party settled on job number three. Cantankerous bunch. "Third time's the charm," grinned Ouzo. Did anyone mention top $$$? Of course not.

The father of the missing girl (Cameron Heald) was able to give us enough details to begin. His daughter, Zara, had a job at another of the local inns as a table wench. She went to work that morning escorted by him, and was last seen walking up the street to the inn. Zara never returned. He had done some investigating, but the inn said they'd never seen her. The local constabulary were as helpful as ever, and appeared to take the inn's story at face value declaring there was nothing more to do. "I also have this etching of her I had made for her last birthday, you can use it to help you."

*As well as visiting the various jobs, the process of identifying the dagger, and sword was begun at the local mages guild.*

Using his formidable leadership skills, Oliver decided we should begin at the beginning. The inn.

Flashing the etching around the clientele yielded nothing. The bar staff claimed Zara never worked there. "A likely story," Debbie declared. A visit to the local constabulary confirmed their stories. According to the barkeep, Zara never worked there. "Upon my soul, Officer."

"Perhaps further questioning of Cameron is in order?" Myrtle wondered aloud. "It wouldn't be the first time a daughter ran away from home." The party split with Ouzo, Debbie, Bear and Tu returning to quiz Dad. Meanwhile, the rest of the party continued to work the clientele of the inn to see if any of the locals could recall seeing her.

Mr Heald was open and willing to talk. 

"No, I've never seen her at work."

"Her mother is very distraught and I don't want you talking to her. It will upset her more."

"She has a brother, and you CAN talk to him - but I want to be there."

The brother was interviewed and he seemed willing to talk openly. "Zara was an angel. She loved her job, and me. I miss her," he sobbed. "I hope nothing bad has happened to her. Please find her."

"Is there anything you can remember. Did she have a boyfriend?", Bear was leading the questioning. 

"No."

"Did she ever argue with Dad."

"No."

"So nothing unusual . . . .?" Bear trailed off as he noticed the son glancing at Dad before he answered.

Giving them permission to search his daughter's room, we found our first solid leads. Hidden underneath a variety of odds and sods in her wardrobe was a locked box. Whilst on top of the wardrobe further investigation revealed two daggers. One silver, and one iron, which were pocketed. Debbie immediately showed the box to Dad. 

Dad knew nothing of the box, and forcing the lock, Bear revealed some undergarments that Dad insisted could not belong to his daughter, and a riding crop. Debbie glanced meaningfully at Bear, who blushed.

"Dad, we've found something interesting at the pub that we need you to hear. If you'd be so kind as to come quickly . . ." Tu adlibbed. Being the trusting soul that he is, Mr Heald departed with Tu, leaving the boy and mum alone in the loving hands of Debbie, Bear, and Ouzo. 

Ouzo crept upstairs to speak to mum, and managed to get as far as the first floor landing before he was stopped by a loud snarl. Backing away rapidly he retreated to the ground floor. "Not so alone after all," he muttered as Kitty settled back to her post.

Meanwhile Debbie wheedled the full story out of the boy. He didn't know much more, but what he hadn't wanted to say in front of Dad was that the last time he saw Zara she had bruises on her face that she'd tried to cover with makeup. But, he was also happy to tell Debbie that both Dad, and Mum loved her and wanted her home.

"And how long has your sister been working as a prostitute?" Debbie upped the conversational ante by going in for the kill. This had the immediate effect of finishing the conversation as the small child curled into a ball, rocked back, and let silent tears roll down his face. 

*Who let Debbie do the grilling groaned the party*

Tu escorted Dad to the pub where they confirmed that his daughter had never worked there.

Flushed with the success of her caring manner, somehow Debbie managed to convince the mother to enter into a conversation with her after spotting her at an upstairs balcony.

*This seems unlikely I know. But perhaps the DM felt we needed a hand at this point. Or perhaps it was just funny. Mum, it turned out, knew nothing of consequence. Surprisingly Debbie didn't screw this up.*

Returning with Dad in due course, it was time to compare notes. The rest of the party had discovered nothing meaningful - which tended to confirm what we were beginning to suspect. Perhaps Zara had merely run away to live a life that she didn't want her family to know about.

But to where had she run? And if she didn't work in the pub, then perhaps it was time to do some door-knocking to see if anyone recalled seeing her. This kind of detective work can be long and onerous. The party settled in for a tedious session of canvassing the street.

Or not. The first knock revealed all. "Oh, yarrr. Oi've seen that lass before. Ev'ry day she walks up the street, past the pub and turns left. No, I won't take your money. You're a han'some one aren't ye." Tu blushed.

Tu's Informant

*Tu rolled a critical success on a luck roll. There's your eyecandy, Tim!! One buxom wench as requested.*

It was time to keep searching. In a town with only a couple of thousand souls there were only so many places of ill-repute and *aided by another fortunate luck roll* the party soon happened upon one. "Make sure you keep the girls in line. We don't want unhappy customers . . .", was the half-heard fragment of conversation uttered by a red-headed brute of a man with a short beard as he entered an establishment of ill-repute.

Retiring for dinner, the party reflected on what we now knew. It was time to reconnoitre the house of ill-repute. What we needed was a cunning plan.

*fast forward past the other cunning plans that didn't make the cut*

That night we visited the establishment and ate, drank, and made merry. Myrtle and Debbie had the eyes of the locals upon them, as the only women in the crowd other than the working women. The establishment was indeed a whorehouse, running the most expensive drinks in town. But no-one seemed to care. The brute - whose name they discovered was Zabo - held court and was clearly in charge along with a couple of close friends. Everyone knew who he was. Giving him a wide berth, no-one made eye contact with his group. Not wanting to draw attention to themselves the party withdrew without learning anything else, other than that the working girls were upstairs and only clients were allowed there.

Bear whispered to Gillard, "What the hell? That beard was a goatee this afternoon. It's got to be fake."

*More discussion led to PLAN B. We would return the next night and attempt to look upstairs by splitting the party into two parts. Bear, Ouzo, and Scuttle would attempt to beak in upstairs from outside. Meanwhile the rest of the party would work the inside.

The cursed dagger was identified as a sacrificial dagger of undead attraction, and the shortsword as avoid armour. Gillard claimed the shortsword.*

Sauntering into the crowd, Myrtle and Debbie made straight for Zabo's table. Debbie was leashed to Myrtle. Both were dressed to kill, but clearly Debbie missed the memo about what this meant. Nevertheless, Zabo seemed more interested in Debbie, than Myrtle. Odd. 

I'm on a work laptop. This is the best you're going to get, Tim.

Much verbal foreplay ensued. But it was the promise of some heavy duty slobbering that seemed to seal the deal and rev up his engine even more. Myrtle and Debbie insisted that Oliver needed to be part of the action and even this wasn't enough to dampen his ardour as he merely added his friends to the mix. This was getting out of control. Not taking no for an answer, Myrtle, Debbie, and Oliver began to be manhandled up the stairs . . .

Outside, things were going no better. Carefully scouting, Ouzo and Scuttle found a fire escape. Locked from the inside it resisted their best efforts to pick. Further scouting revealed an upstairs locked up tighter than a nun's . . . well, you get the drift. 

"Bugger it, we're going to have to go in through the roof," Ouzo uncharacteristically actioned PLAN A.

*PLAN A is suitable for any situation. If in doubt just barge. on. in. Darryl hates PLAN A, possibly because he knows no matter how much he hates it, the rest of us love it to bits in all its simplistic glory. Lets face it, if all roads lead to Rome, then all plans lead to plan A. We love you, PLAN A*

It turns out all paths really do lead to Rome!

If there was one part of the plan that was going well, it was inside. Tu continued to drink at the bar and ogle the working girls. He was sure there was no point to be served by blowing his cover. Besides, what use was a backup, if he didn't back-up?

As fate would have it, as Zabo pushed the other participants in his incipient orgy into their room, Ouzo, Bear, and Scuttle crashed through the roof and onto the bed of a surprised young lady and her john in the room next door. 

*So you thought things couldn't have gone worse . . . critical fail on breaking through the roof*

The screams of the working girl echoed though the whole floor prompting the two intrepid thieves, and one very large fighter to flee. Hurriedly unlocking the fire escape, they heard from a loud roar behind them. 

"Hodor," muttered Bear in a trance. 

"What did he say?" said Scuttle.

"Who cares, I'm outta here." And on that note, Scuttle and Ouzo fled down the escape whilst Bear faced up to the naked Zabo. Armed only with his fists, Zabo charged Bear. Standing his ground, mano a mano, Bear struck first. A mighty blow from his battleaxe, to the chest!!!

*Critical, max damage. 12, surely he's down and out. But wait.*

Floored by the blow, The Brute slowly recovered his senses, rose to his feet and snarled. 

W.T.F.? 

Seizing the opportunity, Bear leapt to the ground from the second story and disappeared into the darkness. As he ran, he took a last backward glance, and silhouetted in the light he could clearly see the brute. His chest  - unbloodied, and unmarked. 

*Takes minimum damage from the fall. Ian should buy a lotto ticket, or skip next week, because he's used more luck in 5 minutes than most of us get in a month.*

Myrtle, Debbie, and Oliver, took advantage of the melee and fled down the stairs and out the main door.

Tu finished his drink, tipped the barman, and staggered into the cool night air with the warm glow of a job well done. Or maybe it was just the alcohol.

Meeting back at the 'Sign of the Iron Buttock', the party put it all together - 

Red Head + Foul Temper + Beard = Werewolf. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*There was also the immunity to normal weapons, the silver dagger, and the unnatural hair growth.*