(Written by Ian)
We catch up with our
group, late afternoon stood in a small wood a couple of kilometres
from the White Witch’s ACME™ Castle. The castle was mostly across clear
ground, and this small wood was the last of the cover the group could use.
They were crouched down in a close huddle to avoid making any sound that the
nearby ogre sentries might hear, alerting them to the group’s position.
The snow and ice caused the party to wring their hands and blow warm
breath over their fingers. Their breath formed clouds that drift off into
the trees.
The
guide, Hedge Tops (a ferret whose voice is remarkably like Light’s),
spoke quietly to the party; “So that is the entry point we were told
about. That stream leads into the hill side and carries on upstream to
the castle. Didn’t know about those stinking ogres, but these are
strange times.”
“Oh well, at least it provides further evidence that the
castle is at the end of the stream” mentioned Carla [ Andrew ].
The
party discussed the pros and cons of various plans. The full frontal
assault on the castle front door was always a good one to contemplate.
Perhaps not this time… The open ground and large number of human sized
rat guards and savage looking White Tiger sentries would make this seem
like a bad idea. As what little of the sun slowly heads toward the
Western horizon, they decided to do some reconnaissance. Light Touch [ Jeff ] was
rendered undetectable with the ‘nothing to see here’ invisible spell. He
swanned past the ogres and into the cave mouth. It opened into a larger
chamber that had the ogre accommodation and ‘food’ supplies. It seemed
that all the ogres were currently outside around their fire, enjoying
the remains of some poor woodland creatures.
Light
Touch quickly checked the chamber and exits, including where the stream
carried on toward the castle. There are no additional light sources, so
the low light vision was soon of little use. Light Touch returned to the
group well before the invisibility wore off.
“Ok
then, seems like now is the time to sneak the group past the ogres”.
Yeti [ Darryl] rendered all eight party members invisible, just long enough to cover
the open ground and get past the feasting guards. Once inside, the party
struck lights and Peg Groups [Ian] and Light Touch headed off upstream, the mages
and clerics in the middle with Whiz to the rear. Going was good with the
stream being easy to follow. There were many side tunnels on either
side and Gwiffen started to protest progressing forward; “It smells it
does. Me don’t wike it…” The group started to notice silken threads
disappearing into most of the side passages
“Great” said Peg, “spiders.
It HAD to be spiders.”
After
reasonable progress the cave system opened into a large cavern. With no
effort at all it is clear to see that the high ceiling was a writhing
mass of dog sized spiders. They were everywhere. They were places beyond
everywhere.
“This has the potential to not go well” The party said
simultaneously.
While
contemplating options and visualising the pointlessness of just about
all forms of offence that the party had at their disposal, a larger
single spider gently lowered on a web strand from the cavern roof.
“Heeelllllooooo” the loathsome thing hissed.
“Ahem, hello” Light Touch stammered. “Could we please pass through the cavern?”
“Nice one person. That is unlikely to happen intruder. These are OUR caves and you are not welcome”
Yeti added “Agreed, however we are travelling through and do not want to cause you and your kind any problem”
“Well
then” the spider negotiator started “We would like to make a deal. You
donate one of you lot to feed us, and we shall let the remainder pass.”
The
party let out a sigh of relief. At least three hands and a foot glided out
of the dark and confidently ‘steered’ Gwiffen toward the heinous
arachnid. “Oi! Watch ya doin???? You can’t do vat. Stoppit!”.
“Oh
no you don’t” hissed the spider. “That hairy morsel is too small and
you offered it too fast. We need one of you other lot to feed upon”.
The
party consulted; “Oh well it was worth a shot but have to come up with a
plan b. We couldn’t really let Gwiffen be used like that”.
Yeti again approached the dangling negotiator;
“Ahem,
Mr Spider sir, we are wanting to go to the castle. Offering one of our
crew is not an option, however we know that the Castle is full of food
(ok, the enemy), how about we get your safe passage on the promise of
delivering a meal from the castle occupants? Does this sound
reasonable?”
“Hmm, this does sound promising – but we could just eat you all here?” The spider rationally pointed out.
“What about the ogres?” offered Peg Groups “We could draw them back here for you to eat and after all, they are much bigger than us?”
“Sorry
pointy ear, as much as they could be eaten they have been stopping
troublesome interlopers for a while and we like that. The ogres are not
an option.” A small swarm of spiders was slowly building not far from
the group, behind the spider speaker. They were more and more agitated
and excited. The promise of a decent meal was getting too much to bear.
Yeti continued nervously;
“Ok
then, ogres are out, a party member is out, how about we promise the
equivalent weight of the party in castle enemies? 8 dinners served
warm?”
“Eeenterresssstinggg….
We can agree to that, six-legs-missing. We give you safe passage and you
deliver eight meals. They must be warm and red blooded for us to feed and
your debt to be repaid”
“Agreed” The group spat on palms and shook hands/legs.
“That is the most repulsive feeling ever” Carla observed with a wince.
On
they moved upstream to the castle. This time however, accompanied by the
sound of thousands of legs following along behind the group. Travel was
fast and easy with the 8 legged escorts. Soon the party reached a
square metal grate set into the walls, floor and ceiling of the stream.
The grate had vertical bars and seemed very old. Just beyond was a man-made area with the signs of the castle plumbing depositing all manner of
foulness into the stream. As the two strongest adventures, Whiz and Peg
Groups tried to bend, break or otherwise the grill but nothing budged the
rusted (but obviously solid) grate.
“Hey Mr Spider, any chance you lot could lend a hand – well – lend a leg and some web?” Light Touch pleaded.
“Another deal then?” The spider leader was positively brimming with glee at the prospect of getting even more out of the group.
“We
will help BUT one of your party must stay with us until the full debt
is repaid – and not the small hairy thing that smells like the armpit of
an old sloth”. Again the party had to decide. As this is a sneaky task
to remove an axe from a stone, and to be discovered would mean failure
and death anyway, Whiz was volunteered to stay behind.
“But Mr Spider, can we swap Whiz to another party member if we want to? If we really need Whiz we mean?”
“Ok then” The Spider was feeling in a generous mood at this point “Why not? You can swap party members if you desire”.
With
the latest deal secured, the spiders combined web and body to start
pulling on the grate. Peg and Whiz helped and the grate fell inward with
a clatter after a fairly short period of resistance. The spiders stayed
where they were with Whiz and the group explored the small area beyond
the opening. It was certainly a waste disposal area and there was a
solid trapdoor in the ceiling as the obvious dumping point. Light Touch
checked it out and the trapdoor was bolted solidly from the top. There
were also the distant sounds of voices and footsteps, nothing direct
overhead at this stage, but within careful hearing distance.
The
party worked out that it was only sunset or early evening so decided to
explore the area, prepare and wait until midnight or so before making
too much noise. They searched for any alternative exit point but that
trap door seemed to be the only way out, stubbornly bolted and about four
meters above the stream. Whiz and Peg could not budge it with brute
force. Stumped. Peg thought about things,
“You
know, what we need is something that we can use to mechanically pry or
force that lid open? Something small enough to get up to the lid, but
strong enough to do the job? Wonder what we could use for that?”
John Wayne [ Shane ] stopped reviewing the list of naughty and nice children that seemed to be growing magically
“Oh, not sure if this will help but I have this car jack thingy. Would that do??? Been carrying it around for weeks now”
“Ahhhh,
yes” Light Touch said with attitude and head sway only rivalled by TV
chat show guests “That will do nicely. Just need to get a solid footing
up near the trap door.”
With
some cunning ingenuity a small and woefully unstable tower was erected
comprised of a loose stone footing to water level, the mangled grate up
to the base of the trap door. The grate was secured with cross ropes and Ah Hung [ Steven ] hanging on for grim (Grism anyway) death. The jack set between the
grate and the trap door at the side that seemed to have the bolt
mechanism nailed from above.
It
was time. Sometime close to midnight, when things had been quiet above
the door for some time, the handle was wound and the pressure went on.
The door creaked and groaned and started to crack. Something gave, and
the door released a fraction. Something small and metallic clanged
across the ground above. Muttering and murmuring started from somewhere
in the distance. The group froze… Quiet again and after a few minutes,
Light Touch resumed winding the handle as the door had not fully
released.
After
more pressure and stress on the door, it eventually exploded apart.
Large metal parts that made up the bolting mechanism, rattled and
clanged across the floor.
“Bugger. That was noisy” Light Touch observed by way of understatement.
The
door was still closed but Light Touch could now lift it far enough to
know that it was unbolted. It was a large door and HEAVY but at least
finally unlocked. Soon after the less than subtle removal of the bolt,
yells and sounds of movement neared from above.
“What do we do? What do we do? Someone do something!” Ah Hung bravely shrieked.
Ah Hung and Peg quickly drew arrow, and Light Touch clung to the opening door jam.
Within moments the trap door started to jiggle and move. From above a
voice spoke to an unknown other;
“Ere’
look at this. Ratty, it is all busted. There are broken bits
everywhere. Who could have done this down here? Open the door and see
what gives”.
The
door flung open and the stupid dolt had his face and upper chest
looking directly down the hole and his colleague’s lantern behind
providing the perfect silhouette. What a day for target shooting… Peg
and Ah Hung let fly making use of the biggest element of surprise and
advantage a group could wish for. The inquisitive human face that stared
down soon had an arrow in its forehead and one in its chest. The guard
(as it turned out) dropped immediately to his death. Well it would have
been to his death if he wasn’t already dead from the quarrels that is.
Light
Touch swooped elegantly from his hold position, through the opening and
to the floor above. Unfortunately the guards partner above let go of
the rope that he was holding the lid open with, at about the same time.
Light Touch got most of the way through the opening but the door slammed
heavily and painfully into his right shin. Shin and foot were securely
held in the door. While Light Touch lay on the ground, he had to deal
with a rather nasty broad sword being wielded by a man-sized rat in
light armour. Light Touch did well to avoid too much further trouble and
eventually the door flung open from below. This released Light Touch
and he rolled away.
Peg
Groups had taken half a minute or so to get up to the door and fling it open.
Peg came through the opening and grabbed the attention of the guard. At
this moment a number of things happened simultaneously:
1. The human guard that had fallen through was being searched and fed to the spiders. Disgusting…
2.
Gwiffen was making his way through the trap door with deft expertise.
He proceeded to secure a climbing rope to a fitting in the above room
and allow the others to at least start coming through. Ah Hung was next…
3,
The far end of the room (that turned out to be a torture chamber –
great) was being opened and a rat and the familiar sounds of a large
cockroach in the not nearly distant enough, distance.
Peg
dispatched the rat guard with a single crunch. Light Touch was up and
about but the new arrivals saw him and persuaded him into fisticuffs.
Ok, so Light Touch screamed like a harpy and parried for all his worth.
Peg thought at this point that ‘this was going to get interesting once
that cockroach gets here’.
Too
late. Cockroach was there and Peg Groups engaged to stop it getting near Light
Touch or anyone else for that matter. Ah Hung cast his armour spell on Peg
to at least give Peg and the party a fighting chance. This turned out to
be pivotal in the fight. A number of rounds passed where Peg and
cockroach traded hearty blows. Both frustrated by the lack of ability to
hurt the other. At least Peg was not being carved apart thanks to Ah’s
protection.
After Ah Hung , John Wayne appeared out the hole and proceeded to wave his arms
about and cast some spell directly at the cockroach.
Peg prayed that it
was not fireball, the usual spell of choice. Not this time Peg, new
spell time for John; Feeble-mind. Good choice John.
As the rounds wore
on the cockroach got weaker and weaker. Peg could tell that the hideous
thing was starting to struggle for speed and strength. Eventually, its
attacks were pathetic and it was much easier to inflict damage. A few
carefully aimed, hearty, blows to the head and the cockroach fell over -
dead. The thing’s limbs slowly curled into its upturned belly. Next
round the rat was gone with a single blow and all was quiet. The group
were in the castle dungeon with the guards gone and a number of
wilderness creatures held prisoner in the adjoining cells.
The
spiders got 1 human, 2 rats (human sized) and a cockroach. Ok, they did
not accept the cockroach but it was worth a try. Three debts paid out of eight.
