Present:
- Phoebe Lacrosse. Human Barbarian from Pugtown – Andrew
- Griza Muso. Human Thief from Lakeside – Jeff
- MARMALADING: Balder Dash. Gnome Wizard from Toluene - Jamie
- Bush Tucker. Human Rogue from Spite Anti - Darryl
- Red Feuersturm. Human Temple Fighter of Hob from Toluene - Chris
- MARMALADING: Malcom Gandhi. Gnome Thief from Brian – Kevin
- Napolean Twig. Elf Priest of Caribou Gorn from Pugtown - Ian
- Joe Manco. Human Fighter from Toluene – Shane
- Galena Alfdis. Elf Priestess of Vingt et Un from Palantir - Steven
by Jeff
‘Beating people up in little rooms… he knew where that led. And if you did it for a good reason, you’d do it for a bad one. You couldn’t say “we’re the good guys” and do bad-guy things.’
Oh wait, this isn't the classic storey by Sir Terry Pratchett!
But, read on to spot the parallels ...
Phoebe pulled her horse ahead and rode as the group's vanguard.
They were making their way klibward from Emerald, on the road towards Tarque. It was day one of the approximately two-week trip to the Great Tower (aka The Emerald Tower, aka The Mystics Tower, aka The Great Pilar of Quek), escorting Thursa and Dahma through the Emerald Forest. Balder, Galena, Joe, and Malcolm were sprawled out on our lead wagon, Bush was driving, Napolean shotgun.
Griza sighed contentedly.
The day's travel was uneventful, although Galena and Joe both awoke from their marmalading states and joined the conversation as the day progressed. Arriving in Tarque near the end of the day we took rooms in the Sweet Tamarillo Inn. Predictable, as it's the only Inn in Tarque.
The next day dawned grey and drizzly, and we travelled on to Laque, where we stayed at the Pig & Whistle again. The new owner there offered us free accommodation and meals on account of our recent magnificent efforts in ridding the town of the evil were-boar pig farmers. We accepted of course.
Another drizzly morning dawned, and we set off for Lemon. The town isn't actually called Lemon, but as a result of some Known World map layering issues, the actual name is lost behind the trees. Perhaps the name is Forest?
Arriving at the only Inn in Lemon, The Mysterious Ferret, at the end of the days travel was a relief. It had been persistently drizzly and damp the whole day, and everyone was looking forward to a dry room, a good meal, a hot bath, and a peaceful night's sleep. Not Bush though.
"Nah cobber," he stated, "Ey'll just take a small walk-about and check outback"
Or something like that. Is his strange accent. And off he went for a few hours.
"But we understand" he concluded, "Not many travellers can make out our town's name on the maps"
The next day we would head on to SARS (again, not the real name of the town) where Thursa informed us that we would be making our first diversion off into the forest to collect some rare herbs.
"SARS" laughed the innkeeper, "No mam, that be called Taro, because of the root vegetable that they farm and harvest around the area there. It grows real good on account of the local Starfall effects"
"You should stay at the One-Eyed Wombat there, it's a very nice Inn" he concluded.
Which we did; and it was a very nice Inn!
"Crikey!" exclaimed Bush after we had arrived, "Do you fellas have wombats around here?"
"Nope", replied the barmaid, "Just Taro"
At breakfast the next morning we quizzed Thursa on what we could expect on our 'diversion'.
"We will be heading roughly Battle" she replied, "About a day and a half into the forest. I will be collecting some Tulsi, aka Holy Basil, from a clearing there"
"What's this Tulsi like then?" asked Napolean, "I've never heard of it before"
"It's a spiritual herb" Thursa noted, "A rare ingredient used in many useful potions and unguents. But mostly in assisting the restless soul to pass on from the Known World to the Unknown World"
"Oh, and can we expect any trouble?" asked Phoebe.
"Always expect trouble" muttered Dahma.
There was no specific trail, so we left the wagons at the Wombat and Dahma led us into the forest. Napolean totally enjoyed the days travel and was constantly noting foresty points of interest to the rest of us. It was raining heavily, all day, so the rest of us weren't particularly interested.
Towards nightfall Dahma found us a comfortable and sheltered campsite and we set up for the night. Fortunately, Thursa could cook, and she prepared us a tasty evening meal.
"Let's detail the night watches then" suggested Phoebe after dinner.
"Galena and I will take the first watch" Phobe decided, "Napolean, second watch with ..."
"Dahma ... can join me on the second watch" interrupted Napolean.
"Yeah mate, me too" chimed in Bush.
"Griza and Red, third watch" Phoebe concluded.
Sometime during the third watch Griza caught a flicker of movement out of the corner of his magical Spectacles of Infravision and spun around to check, drawing his long knife.
"Did you see that?" he asked Red.
"It's dark" replied Red, "I can't see nothing. Although, ... I can see your knife"
The rest of the party was quickly woken, and everyone peered out into the surrounding darkness.
Slowly other things began to glow. Red's two-handed mace took on a sickly green glow.
"Oi" yelled Bush as his eyes shone with a white light, "Crickey, I'm blind, can't see nothing"
"Magic" grumbled Thursa, casting a spell which returned Bush's natural squinty eyed state.
Suddenly there was a crash and a titter from out in the forest, and we all saw a small creature tumble to the ground, leap up, and run off into the trees.
"Brownies" decided Napolean.
"Mischievous nuisance creatures" stated Thursa, "But essentially harmless"
"Harmless" squawked Bush, "That thing blinded me"
"You got better" laughed Galena.
Everyone went back to their bedrolls, except Griza and Red who were still on watch.
Griza tried to hide a little way out in the forest to avoid any more Brownie attacks.
"I see you there" laughed Red, "And I can't even see in the dark!"
Snorting disappointedly, Griza tossed a silver piece out into the darkness and slipped back to the camp. A rustle from the forest, a quiet chittering, and then silence. Nothing else was seen or heard until morning when Real's light burst over the forest.
After a quick breakfast Dahma led the party on, deeper into the forest.
The forest was dense now, massive trees stretching up to the light above. Thick undergrowth covered the ground, which was littered with years of rotting vegetation. Somehow Dahma managed to slide her way through the wall of green, forming a narrow trail that weaved forward. We followed.
After a half day of travel, Thursa spoke.
"We should be there soon" she declared.
"You must all beware the tree creatures" she continued, "Be respectful, and subdued"
"Fortunately, none of you men are handsome" she chuckled, "You should all be fine"
Shortly thereafter we crossed a small creek and popped out of the forest into a large grove. Oak tress dotted the area, all contained within a large grassy meadow. Clusters of yellow and purple wildflowers covered the ground, and the sound of birds twittered from all around. Thursa stopped us just inside the boarder of the meadow and then moved forward on her own towards one of the larger oak trees.
The green woman had disappeared.
"They will give me the Tulsi" Thursa reported, "If we provide a service"
"Mate" squeaked Busk huskily, "Pick me, I can surely service that sheila"
"Idiot" grumbled Thursa, "You are much to ugly. Wouldn't even be noticed by them!"
"No" Thursa continued, "You must investigate and clean up a bitter contamination of their creek"
"For some days now their water source from the creek has been unusable, somehow contaminated"
"Dahma and I will stay here with the Dryad's, you lot will investigate"
There were about three hours of light left in the day, so we backed off into the forest to where we had crossed the creek and turned upstream. Napolean cast a Detect Magic spell on the water.
"Yup" he stated, "As I suspected, Magic. But no different to that everywhere around here, so no help"
Phoebe dipped her fingers into the water, sniffed, and took a lick.
"Eww", she cried, "Definitely bitter and not at all pleasant. Unnatural for sure"
Napolean cast a Detect Poison on the water.
"Yup" he stated, "Poisoned. You probably should have waited for me before tasting it"
Phoebe spat and wiped out her mouth.
"Why didn't you say you could do that" she yelled.
We set off upstream as the drizzle started again.
Two and a half hours later the drizzle had become a heavy rain, dark clouds massing over the forest canopy above us. The creek had swollen, at least doubling in width, and it would soon be dark.
"Find us a dry camp site" suggested Joe, "Now"
Napolean waved towards the top of the bank we were walking beside.
"Up there" he suggested, "Should be partially out of the rain"
It wasn't, but we set up a little shelter and huddled beneath it as darkness fell.
The creek was roaring just below us, and then flashes of lightning, and thunder rumbling overhead.
"At least it can't get any worse" Joe muttered.
"CRAAAACK"
"Good one Joe" complained Red, "Although, maybe there will be a fire?"
Galena, Napolean, Phoebe, and Red slipped out into the night to investigate.
Phoebe used her new magic staff and cast a Continual Light (one of the ten-minute ones!)
"Look" noted Napolean, "That old willow tree has been split open by the lightning"
"Oh, look" he continued, moving closer, "There is some white sap running out of the split"
"OH YEAH" he yelled, spinning back towards Galena and licking his finger.
"OH YEAH BABY" he yelled with a huge grin, and a huge erection!
Ripping off his cloak and rubbing his crotch suggestively, Napolean swaggered towards Galena, who was backing quickly away. "YEAH BABY YEAH" Napolean yelled as he dived at Galena.
Phoebe threw herself at Napolean, trying to tackle him and prevent any unfortunate incidents from occurring between party members. But she flew just behind him and rolled across the ground.
Galena dived behind a tree as Napolean flung himself at her, and he missed, but sprang up and looked around wildly.
"YEAH BABY, COME ON" he yelled, spotting Phoebe still on the ground, "YOU AND ME BABY"
Napolean dived back at Phoebe, hips thrusting, attempting to land on top of her.
But Phoebe was both bigger and stronger than Napolean, and gathered him up in a restricting hold, facing away from her, and held on tightly as he thrashed around, attempting to grope Phoebe.
"Starfall poisoning" suggested Galena, "Just like back in the Lighthouse cave a few weeks ago"
Phoebe held on for about ten minutes while Napolean struggled to satisfy his urges.
"Crikey," whispered Bush in awe, "That's a boner and a half right there, matey."
"Maybe you should just finish him off Galena?" suggested Phoebe.
"Not likely" squawked Galena, keeping well back out of the way.
After ten minutes Napolean quietened down and slumped to the ground, asleep.
Phoebe gave a great sigh and shook out her arms.
We carefully examined the split tree and found that it was full of accumulated Starfall. The lightning strike had opened up the interior, letting the Starfall out. We made sure there was no way it could leak into the stream, and then backed off and let nature take its course.
In the morning, Napolean had no recollection of his lewd activities, and no one was keen to talk about it. We ate a quick breakfast and continued on up the creek. The rain had eased off a bit, but it was still wet. The creek had gone down some, but still looked swollen with all the rainwater. We trudged on upstream, keeping a look out for something else that might have caused the unusual contamination.
A few hours later the creek led us into some low rocky hills, cutting through the rock in a gutted ravine. Just ahead we spotted a flat clearing on the side of the hill. Some larger tress jutted out over the ravine, and hanging from one of the trees was a dead horse. Slung up by its hind legs, eviscerated, with its entrails dangling over the creek, blood was slowly dripping down the body and into the water below.
"Shhh" whispered Phoebe, "Can you go check that out please Griza?"
Slipping silently from bush to bush, almost invisible though the light drizzle that was still falling, Griza slunk forward, closing in on the grizzly scene. As he got closer to the dead horse, it quickly became apparent that this was no horse. The stump of a large horn could be seen on its dangling forehead. Griza could also see a large open cage, four wolves resting within, and just behind the trees at the rear of the open area, a dark cave mouth leading into the rocky hillside.
Returning to the party, Griza reported all he had seen.
Napolean was incensed. "Unicorn!" he hissed angrily, "What evil is this?"
"And" he noted "Unicorn blood is toxic"
"This will be the source of the contamination then?" questioned Phoebe.
"No doubt" fumed Napolean, "Let's get down there are kill everything, right now"
"Well..." questioned Bush, "That's not actually a plan mate. More like a goal"
"Last time we faced wolves, we locked them in their cage" noted Griza.
"Yeah, good idea" agreed Napolean, "Get closer for a look into that cave too"
But before anyone could do anything though, there was a loud thumping that echoed over from the clearing, and a huge creature appeared through the trees. It was giant sized, over 3.5m tall, with green flaky skin like bark. Green moss grew from its head like hair. It tossed a large haunch of meat into the wolves' cage, looked around, and then returned to the cave.
"What on earth was that?" asked Red.
"Big" replied Joe, "Bigger than us"
"Probably a Troll" suggested Napolean.
"Can we deal to that?" wondered Red aloud.
"No trouble" declared Phoebe, "So long as there is only one!"
Napolean cast Invisibility to Animals on Griza, and Griza quietly returned to the rocky clearing.
Sidling forward, Griza gently pushed the cage door closed and placed the locking pin through the latch.
The wolves didn't even stir. Then he slipped closer to the cave entrance and cupped his ear.
A rumble of deep voices, no more than twenty metres inside the cave. Griza crept away.
"Definitely two" Griza reported to the others.
"On the plus side" Griza continued, "The cave entrance wouldn't fit more than one at a time"
Then the party descended into planning mode ....
"Lure them out one at a time"
"Charge straight in"
"They'll notice the wolf cage locked closed soon"
"Cast a Silence"
"Balder is still marmalading"
"What about a Fireball? ... Oh right, Balder"
"Wait for one to leave, then charge the other"
Then an even larger version of the first creature emerged from the cave. More than four meters tall, and fatter, this one also looked around, then it grabbed a felled tree and dragged it into the cave. A little later smoke started to puff up from somewhere back in the hills behind the cave entrance.
"We can climb down the chimney"
"But there are still two of them"
"Let's set a trap in the cave entrance"
"But that would take at least ten minutes, the wolves would notice"
"Kill the wolves first"
"But they would howl, the Trolls would notice"
Then the first Troll, the smaller one, came crashing through the trees down the hill from behind the cave, a dead boar slung over its shoulder, and carried it inside the cave.
"It never came out"
"A back door! We could sneak in there"
"But there are still two of them"
"Let's just leave them and head back"
No way, we have to get vengeance for the Unicorn"
"And clean up the creeks contamination"
"Let's go back and get Thursa and Dhama, they'll help"
"Surely we can do this without help"
Griza was sent to reconnoiter the rear entrance and the smoke vent. There was a smoke vent, smoke billowing out, and there was a rear entrance, a dark cave on the side of the hill, similar to the front.
"Better hurry" complained Galena.
"Right" stated Phoebe, "Joe and Red with me. Griza and the healers behind. Bush hidden at the rear"
We rushed forward, the wolves awoke and began to howl. The three fighters stood resolutely in front of the cave entrance as a rumble came from inside. The air stirred and suddenly gusted towards them. A huge shape emerged from the dark, a massive club swinging straight towards Joe.
"THUD"
Joe's mighty two-handed axe smashed directly down on the Troll's head, quickly followed by Red's shiny new two-handed mace. Phoebe's sword cut the air and glanced harmlessly of the Troll's thick skin. The Troll staggered back.
Joe boldly stepped forward and swung his mighty two-handed axe at the Troll again.
"THUD"
The axe again cleaved down directly onto the Troll's head, biting straight through its thick skull and embedding deep into the brain cavity. Blood splattered in a red cloud. Red also struck successfully, his shiny new two-handed mace pounding solidly into the Troll's chest. It toppled backwards to the ground.
"THUD"
[Shane rolled another 1, critical head hit, D8 additional damage, ignore all armour, and an immediate free attack. He also exercised his Heavy Hitter talent, spent 2 luck, D10 additional damage. 6 points on his D10 damage roll, plus 3 points from his strength bonus, plus 2 points from the additional D8 and 6 from his additional D10 talent damage, 17 points, no deduction for armour. Chris rolled 2 on his D10 damage roll, plus 3 for his strength bonus, less 2 for the Troll's armour, 3 points. A total of 20 points of damage that combat round. Boom, dead]
"Well" stated Phoebe, "You guys can just take the next one yourselves"
But there was no sign of the second Troll, the cave ahead was silent. The twang of Bush's bow was repeating from behind, out in the bush, though, and the wolves were yelping and whimpering. They were soon all dead, peppered with Bush's arrows.
"It comes" yelled Bush from the trees.
The second Troll came charging down the hillside and straight at us. Joe, Red, and Phoebe stepped forward again, confident after their extremely rapid demolition of the first and larger Troll. The others slipped behind them into the mouth of the cave. Bush remained hidden in the trees, but his sharp eye noticed the dead Troll's head slowly pulling itself together.
Firing an arrow at the back of the second Troll as it charged Joe, Bush yelled "Regenerating".
He must have been shaking from fright though, his arrow flew harmlessly up behind the cave.
The Troll's mighty club, complete with an extremely large spike protruding from one side, swung up and back, then swept down directly towards Joe's head.
"THUD"
The spike in the Troll's club somehow collected the back of its own head as it swung. It roared and shook its head, and then Joe's axe, Red's mace, and Phoebe's sword all smashed into the Troll.
[More excitement and laughter from the players. Richard rolled a fumble on behalf of the Troll, a 20 on the D20 attack dice. Hits self, ignore armour. 18 points of damage to itself. Joe rolled a 6 on his D10 damage roll, plus 3 strength bonus. Red rolled a 5 plus 3 strength bonus, and Phoebe rolled a 4 on her D8, plus 3 strength bonus. 24 damage, less 3x2 armour, 18 damage from the party. With its self-inflicted 18, that was a total of 36 points of damage in the first round. How we laughed.]
But it didn't go down. Joe, Red, and Phoebe set themselves for another swing.
Griza slipped around the three fighters and prepared to hack at the regenerating Troll on the ground.
This time the Troll's club did connect with Joe's head.
"THUD"
Joe staggered back in a daze. But Red and Phoebe were successful, and the Troll toppled to the earth.
"THUD"
The bodies were all burned, including a second dead Unicorn body found inside the cave.
Two Unicorn horns were also recovered, and the party made their way back downstream to the Dryad's grove. There was a lot of boasting and back slapping, although Joe was suffering from a nasty headache and blurred vision.
"Trolls" exclaimed Thursa, "Why didn't you come back for us?"
"But mostly in assisting the restless soul to pass on from the Known World to the Unknown World." In other words, a poison.
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