Bear the Bold

 

The cast: Bear [Ian], Dexter [Jamie], Gillard [Kevin], Debbie [Steven], Myrtle [Andrew], Oliver [Jeff], Tu [Shane], Ouzo [Darryl], Scuttle [Chris]

Seeking new jobs to assuage the guilt of their failure, our merry band of adventurers found suitable lodgings at the 'Sign of the Iron Buttock', a well known haunt for ne'er do wells. An alternative was the 'Mistress and Crop', which led to the group commenting on the S & M names inns have in this town and their hometown. "It can't be like this everywhere," Scuttle mused, "after all, it's a very small sample. It would be a mistake to draw a conclusion from this."

*Apparently the RNG only gives out S & M nouns. I wonder who programmed it? Or if indeed the 'programme' even exists . . . *

After resting, upon daybreak, we checked out the local jobs. There were three jobs:

1. Brave adventurers wanted to retrieve valued art works. Apply at local establishment #1.

2. Intrepid adventurers wanted to escort slaves into the badlands to a gold mine. Apply at local establishment #2.

3. Help! My daughter is missing - top $$$$$$ paid for finding her (alive). Apply at local establishment #3.

After agreeing that perhaps escorting live civilians wasn't their forte, despite slavery being legal in Toluene, the group ruled out option two. "We need a job that doesn't involve people," said Tu. 

Upon further investigation of the jobs, taking on job #1 involved sneaking into the derelict centre of town to retrieve valued family heirlooms. Which was policed by the local guards. No-one was allowed in on pain of death. Job #2 was pretty much as described.

Which explains why the party settled on job number three. Cantankerous bunch. "Third time's the charm," grinned Ouzo. Did anyone mention top $$$? Of course not.

The father of the missing girl (Cameron Heald) was able to give us enough details to begin. His daughter, Zara, had a job at another of the local inns as a table wench. She went to work that morning escorted by him, and was last seen walking up the street to the inn. Zara never returned. He had done some investigating, but the inn said they'd never seen her. The local constabulary were as helpful as ever, and appeared to take the inn's story at face value declaring there was nothing more to do. "I also have this etching of her I had made for her last birthday, you can use it to help you."

*As well as visiting the various jobs, the process of identifying the dagger, and sword was begun at the local mages guild.*

Using his formidable leadership skills, Oliver decided we should begin at the beginning. The inn.

Flashing the etching around the clientele yielded nothing. The bar staff claimed Zara never worked there. "A likely story," Debbie declared. A visit to the local constabulary confirmed their stories. According to the barkeep, Zara never worked there. "Upon my soul, Officer."

"Perhaps further questioning of Cameron is in order?" Myrtle wondered aloud. "It wouldn't be the first time a daughter ran away from home." The party split with Ouzo, Debbie, Bear and Tu returning to quiz Dad. Meanwhile, the rest of the party continued to work the clientele of the inn to see if any of the locals could recall seeing her.

Mr Heald was open and willing to talk. 

"No, I've never seen her at work."

"Her mother is very distraught and I don't want you talking to her. It will upset her more."

"She has a brother, and you CAN talk to him - but I want to be there."

The brother was interviewed and he seemed willing to talk openly. "Zara was an angel. She loved her job, and me. I miss her," he sobbed. "I hope nothing bad has happened to her. Please find her."

"Is there anything you can remember. Did she have a boyfriend?", Bear was leading the questioning. 

"No."

"Did she ever argue with Dad."

"No."

"So nothing unusual . . . .?" Bear trailed off as he noticed the son glancing at Dad before he answered.

Giving them permission to search his daughter's room, we found our first solid leads. Hidden underneath a variety of odds and sods in her wardrobe was a locked box. Whilst on top of the wardrobe further investigation revealed two daggers. One silver, and one iron, which were pocketed. Debbie immediately showed the box to Dad. 

Dad knew nothing of the box, and forcing the lock, Bear revealed some undergarments that Dad insisted could not belong to his daughter, and a riding crop. Debbie glanced meaningfully at Bear, who blushed.

"Dad, we've found something interesting at the pub that we need you to hear. If you'd be so kind as to come quickly . . ." Tu adlibbed. Being the trusting soul that he is, Mr Heald departed with Tu, leaving the boy and mum alone in the loving hands of Debbie, Bear, and Ouzo. 

Ouzo crept upstairs to speak to mum, and managed to get as far as the first floor landing before he was stopped by a loud snarl. Backing away rapidly he retreated to the ground floor. "Not so alone after all," he muttered as Kitty settled back to her post.

Meanwhile Debbie wheedled the full story out of the boy. He didn't know much more, but what he hadn't wanted to say in front of Dad was that the last time he saw Zara she had bruises on her face that she'd tried to cover with makeup. But, he was also happy to tell Debbie that both Dad, and Mum loved her and wanted her home.

"And how long has your sister been working as a prostitute?" Debbie upped the conversational ante by going in for the kill. This had the immediate effect of finishing the conversation as the small child curled into a ball, rocked back, and let silent tears roll down his face. 

*Who let Debbie do the grilling groaned the party*

Tu escorted Dad to the pub where they confirmed that his daughter had never worked there.

Flushed with the success of her caring manner, somehow Debbie managed to convince the mother to enter into a conversation with her after spotting her at an upstairs balcony.

*This seems unlikely I know. But perhaps the DM felt we needed a hand at this point. Or perhaps it was just funny. Mum, it turned out, knew nothing of consequence. Surprisingly Debbie didn't screw this up.*

Returning with Dad in due course, it was time to compare notes. The rest of the party had discovered nothing meaningful - which tended to confirm what we were beginning to suspect. Perhaps Zara had merely run away to live a life that she didn't want her family to know about.

But to where had she run? And if she didn't work in the pub, then perhaps it was time to do some door-knocking to see if anyone recalled seeing her. This kind of detective work can be long and onerous. The party settled in for a tedious session of canvassing the street.

Or not. The first knock revealed all. "Oh, yarrr. Oi've seen that lass before. Ev'ry day she walks up the street, past the pub and turns left. No, I won't take your money. You're a han'some one aren't ye." Tu blushed.

Tu's Informant

*Tu rolled a critical success on a luck roll. There's your eyecandy, Tim!! One buxom wench as requested.*

It was time to keep searching. In a town with only a couple of thousand souls there were only so many places of ill-repute and *aided by another fortunate luck roll* the party soon happened upon one. "Make sure you keep the girls in line. We don't want unhappy customers . . .", was the half-heard fragment of conversation uttered by a red-headed brute of a man with a short beard as he entered an establishment of ill-repute.

Retiring for dinner, the party reflected on what we now knew. It was time to reconnoitre the house of ill-repute. What we needed was a cunning plan.

*fast forward past the other cunning plans that didn't make the cut*

That night we visited the establishment and ate, drank, and made merry. Myrtle and Debbie had the eyes of the locals upon them, as the only women in the crowd other than the working women. The establishment was indeed a whorehouse, running the most expensive drinks in town. But no-one seemed to care. The brute - whose name they discovered was Zabo - held court and was clearly in charge along with a couple of close friends. Everyone knew who he was. Giving him a wide berth, no-one made eye contact with his group. Not wanting to draw attention to themselves the party withdrew without learning anything else, other than that the working girls were upstairs and only clients were allowed there.

Bear whispered to Gillard, "What the hell? That beard was a goatee this afternoon. It's got to be fake."

*More discussion led to PLAN B. We would return the next night and attempt to look upstairs by splitting the party into two parts. Bear, Ouzo, and Scuttle would attempt to beak in upstairs from outside. Meanwhile the rest of the party would work the inside.

The cursed dagger was identified as a sacrificial dagger of undead attraction, and the shortsword as avoid armour. Gillard claimed the shortsword.*

Sauntering into the crowd, Myrtle and Debbie made straight for Zabo's table. Debbie was leashed to Myrtle. Both were dressed to kill, but clearly Debbie missed the memo about what this meant. Nevertheless, Zabo seemed more interested in Debbie, than Myrtle. Odd. 

I'm on a work laptop. This is the best you're going to get, Tim.

Much verbal foreplay ensued. But it was the promise of some heavy duty slobbering that seemed to seal the deal and rev up his engine even more. Myrtle and Debbie insisted that Oliver needed to be part of the action and even this wasn't enough to dampen his ardour as he merely added his friends to the mix. This was getting out of control. Not taking no for an answer, Myrtle, Debbie, and Oliver began to be manhandled up the stairs . . .

Outside, things were going no better. Carefully scouting, Ouzo and Scuttle found a fire escape. Locked from the inside it resisted their best efforts to pick. Further scouting revealed an upstairs locked up tighter than a nun's . . . well, you get the drift. 

"Bugger it, we're going to have to go in through the roof," Ouzo uncharacteristically actioned PLAN A.

*PLAN A is suitable for any situation. If in doubt just barge. on. in. Darryl hates PLAN A, possibly because he knows no matter how much he hates it, the rest of us love it to bits in all its simplistic glory. Lets face it, if all roads lead to Rome, then all plans lead to plan A. We love you, PLAN A*

It turns out all paths really do lead to Rome!

If there was one part of the plan that was going well, it was inside. Tu continued to drink at the bar and ogle the working girls. He was sure there was no point to be served by blowing his cover. Besides, what use was a backup, if he didn't back-up?

As fate would have it, as Zabo pushed the other participants in his incipient orgy into their room, Ouzo, Bear, and Scuttle crashed through the roof and onto the bed of a surprised young lady and her john in the room next door. 

*So you thought things couldn't have gone worse . . . critical fail on breaking through the roof*

The screams of the working girl echoed though the whole floor prompting the two intrepid thieves, and one very large fighter to flee. Hurriedly unlocking the fire escape, they heard from a loud roar behind them. 

"Hodor," muttered Bear in a trance. 

"What did he say?" said Scuttle.

"Who cares, I'm outta here." And on that note, Scuttle and Ouzo fled down the escape whilst Bear faced up to the naked Zabo. Armed only with his fists, Zabo charged Bear. Standing his ground, mano a mano, Bear struck first. A mighty blow from his battleaxe, to the chest!!!

*Critical, max damage. 12, surely he's down and out. But wait.*

Floored by the blow, The Brute slowly recovered his senses, rose to his feet and snarled. 

W.T.F.? 

Seizing the opportunity, Bear leapt to the ground from the second story and disappeared into the darkness. As he ran, he took a last backward glance, and silhouetted in the light he could clearly see the brute. His chest  - unbloodied, and unmarked. 

*Takes minimum damage from the fall. Ian should buy a lotto ticket, or skip next week, because he's used more luck in 5 minutes than most of us get in a month.*

Myrtle, Debbie, and Oliver, took advantage of the melee and fled down the stairs and out the main door.

Tu finished his drink, tipped the barman, and staggered into the cool night air with the warm glow of a job well done. Or maybe it was just the alcohol.

Meeting back at the 'Sign of the Iron Buttock', the party put it all together - 

Red Head + Foul Temper + Beard = Werewolf. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*There was also the immunity to normal weapons, the silver dagger, and the unnatural hair growth.*

 

Varney the Vampire. Or THE FEAST OF BLOOD!

Some of the following events may have happened as described. Everything else is true, 'pon my mortal soul. 

- Tu Pointyears.

When last we left our heroes, the ferocious spider had nearly slain the whole party. Whilst others cowered upstairs, brave Bear sacrificed his life for the party, and with his dying blow slew the foul beast that had feasted on Gillard, the prancing halfing.

"Woe is us," cried the party. "Who shall be in the front line now?" There was much pointing at others, and quick placing of thumbs on foreheads. Fortunately, the silence was broken by the moaning of Bear, and the unmarmalding of Tu. "Thank Christ for that," exclaimed Myrtle the Magical who'd been last to place her finger to her forehead.

*Bear was merely paralyzed by spider venom. He would need several days to recover*

Looking carefully at the ceiling of the cavern, the party discerned movement. And what seemed to be a cocooned body. Perhaps it was not too late for Gillard? All eyes turned to the only party member who could climb, Ouzo the not so Brave.

*Ouzo had returned from upstairs after Tu went to get him.*

Grabbing a stick from the ground, Ouzo hit the web repeatedly until there was movement high above which suddenly accelerated toward the party. Two huge spiders the size of bears came barreling towards the weakest members - Dopey Debbie, Dexter the Dextrous, and Oliver from Cromwell.

"Fear not!! For I shall slay the fell beasts." said Tu the Magnificent. And he did. This surprised everyone, but as usual they wasted no time in claiming their part in the killing, even though they had done nought.

Leaping into action, Ouzo proceeded to climb into the web. "I bet you 10 gp he falls," Oliver said to no-one in particular. Which was a shame, because seconds later that's exactly what happened. Dusting off his ego he claimed, "It's too sticky." Ouzo had a new idea. "If only we had a ladder." You mean like this one," Oliver yelled from the top rung using a ladder he'd found upstairs. He searched the webs carefully and found three mummified bodies. One of which was still alive! Mighty Gillard, the prancing halfing, was rescued!! To celebrate, a game of kickball using the heavily cocooned halfling ensued. 

"Are you sure he can't feel anything?" queried Debbie. 

"Who knows. But he definitely can't talk, so who cares," smiled Myrtle the Munificent.

Searching the cavern led to the discovery of the family heirlooms - 2 locked chests. One of which was easily opened by Ouzo. The other was magically trapped. A sudden outbreak of altrusim afflicted several members of the party. "We can't take from a widow," insisted Myrtle and Ouzo. Pausing from the pocketing of a bag of 300 gp, Tu pointed to the contract the widow had signed with the party. "Paragraph one, section A. The party is entitled to keep any and all items (gold or otherwise) that it finds in the course of this operation. Henceforth, I have no claim to any of etc. etc. etc.""

*There was a very long discussion on the ethics of taking from widows. Contract or no contract*

"Party treasure," chorused the cheap seats. Myrtle and Ouzo gave their share to the widow. Oliver scored some sweet wizard robes with stars and moons emblazoned all over. And a pointy hat.

After much debate, the party decided to stay and wait for Bear to recover. The healer estimated that this could take 2-3 days. These passed uneventfully. Until they didn't.

On the night of the third day, the middle watch (Tu, and Oliver) slept fitfully until the rest of the party were all awoken by the terrified neighing of the party's horse (Horse). 

"LET THERE BE LIGHT", cried Myrtle. And there was. 

Illuminated by the spell, six kobolds froze and pretended to be shrubberies. This was not a great plan. After some rapid pruning (Score Tu 2,  Dexter 2, Oliver 1) the survivor fled into the darkness. A volley of arrows peppered Horse. 

"LET THERE BE LIGHT", cried Myrtle. And there was.

Over by the stables - there were a dozen more shrubberies. Not counting the archers.

"Wait, we have a stables? Why didn't we put Horse in . . ." 

"Hindsight is 20/20," Scuttle interrupted Myrtle, "Let's get him in the the house."

*Many BBLG rolls later which turned out to be only a minute the deed was done. Fortunately for the party, the shrubberies vanished into the darkness*

The rest of the night passed uneventfully. Upon the breaking of dawn the party arose, and departed for home. Frustrated by the waiting, Tu and Ouzo canvassed the rest of the party's support for the bleeding of the poison from Bear's veins. Myrtle wavered, and was almost convinced, but Bear still woozy from the poison, awakened just in time. Propped up on Horse, roped to a rake to hold him upright, we departed. To raise their spirits, Debbie found reason to sing. Fortunately, the party was well supplied with moss to surreptitiously stuff into their ears. Travelling rapidly during the days, and hiding at night we returned home uneventfully.

Home. A teeming metropolis that never sleeps. Not. Home, a tiny pimple in the arse of beyond that doesn't even have a mages guild that can cast dispel magic. "If only we had someone dumb enough to open that chest . . ." mused Scuttle. All eyes swivelled to Debbie.

"Debbie, I found this key in the dead man's belongings. I wonder if it fits?" 

Snatching the key from Oliver's hand, Debbie cried "It's about time I did something!!!" To which the party nodded gravely as we moved to a safe distance. A very safe distance. It really is about time she did something was the consensus of the group. She'd been with us a long time now, and we could not recall anything she had done previously. This was new!

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. The smell of burning flesh and singed hair filled the air. Closely followed by the sound of singing.

*Debbie failed her save and took the minimum damage possible. Lucky!*

"Check out the swag guys, I need to lie down" and Debbie sashayed away to the sound of James Brown.

A veritable smorgasbord of loot awaited, the best of which was a magical shortsword, and scabbard. "That's mine" squeaked Ouzo. "I can use a shortsword." 

"Need I remind you, of the dastardliness of taking from a widow', Tu reminded him pointedly. Ouzo the Hypocritical didn't blink an eye. Struggling with tying the scabbard to his waist he replied 'finders, keepers."

"Shouldn't we roll for this."

"We could sell it."

"Myrtle, what do you think?"

After much discussion, the party turned to Ouzo to inform him of its decision. He was long gone.

*The ancient scroll of magical allotment determined that he could have it because no-one else wanted it. Darrly is moved to last on the list *

Rested and healed, the party was summoned to the temple of Real for a new job offer. Escorting some wet behind the ears recruit (Pierre) to the next town over. It was a job for noobs, so we took it. After the failure of the last job, and the loss of the child, perhaps redemption could be found in saving someone else's soul. The contract was signed and sealed on the spot. Surprisingly, Oliver the Cursed found the scabbard and sword tied around his waist. Odd, but free magic items have to be good?

* Darryl is restored on the list, and Jeff goes to bottom. Cursed or not . . . magic counts!*

Leaving the next day we travelled uneventfully until arriving in a nondescript town we stayed at a local inn. Some stuff happened. There was a fight between Tu and a dwarf. The party thought him getting almost killed by a dwarf was so funny everyone invited said dwarf to join the party. Everyone except Tu. "Iron Buttock. Cool name." Let's face it, adding random strangers into the mix, never ends badly. We also added him to a watch. Trust is hard earned in the wilderness. But not with these noobs.  

It was the last night before arriving at the next town. Further testing of the sword showed its teleporting qualities. The middle watch of Tu and Oliver were - surprisingly - awake when we heard a human scream in the distance. No more than 100 yards from camp. Swiftly rousing the rest, we found Bear the Unlucky knocked unconscious, and the traitorous Pierre missing. The sword was gone. 

Remembering how their tardy response doomed the child, we rushed into the dark, Tu, Debbie, and Oliver with their keen elvish senses soon found the source of the scream. There was Pierre, soul sucked from his shrivelled husk with the scabbard by his side. "Huh, guess I'm not the unlucky one after all," Bear quipped. Quickly consulting the contract the party was disappointed to find that it did indeed specify said recruit needed to be delivered ALIVE. It was written in bold in the first sentence. A Thought Capture from Myrtle confirmed that Pierre was legging it with the loot, before he got attacked by bad things.

The party agreed that either a vampire, a ghost, a ghoul, or a ghast had to be responsible. Or a Lich. Until we found the three sets of tracks. Two five toed sets, and one set of slippers (?) Huddling frightenedly until daylight we followed the trail to the riverbank where it headed upstream. The sword returned. One quick conversation later and we headed to the town of Thyme, abandoning the trail. The Real Temple confirmed the soul sucking nature of Pierre's death.

"Let's call the Vampire, Varney!" we cried. And so it was. Until it wasn't.

*Usually we argue the point and do nothing for about thirty minutes before deciding on a course of action. This was unanimous, and took about 1 minute.*

  

Kobolds and Spiders are Tough!

Gillard ready for action

…

“Let’s just charge the buggers” yelled Bear [Ian].

Gillard [Kevin] grunted, wiped the sticky strands of Marmalade off her chin, and leaped up clutching her little swords. “Charge! … Charge who?” she yelled.

The whole party split up into two groups, one in the left-hand passage and one in the right-hand passage. We all formed up into two columns, the first burst forth from the left-hand passage into the large river chamber with Bear [Ian] in the lead, his large shield held out in front of him, with Gillard [Kevin], Ouzo [Darryl], and Oliver [me, Jeff] in a file behind him. The second group, consisting of Tu [Shane] with his shield up, and with Dexter [Jamie], Scuttle [Chris], and Myrtle [Andrew] right behind, simultaneously burst forth from the right-hand tunnel.

Debbie plays her flute

The quiet sounds of Debbie’s [Stephen, Bard] flute echoed from the right-hand passage as she played some music to supposedly help us fight, while the others hastened towards the impending battle.

Both columns charged across the cavern towards the stream.

The stream was cut down into the stone floor of the large stone chamber. It flowed left to right across our path, and the sound of its rushing waters echoing into the darkness. Two small logs lay across the stream, roughly in line with the two passages we were charging out from and landing on the far side where a relatively low rough stone wall extended left and right in front of us.

A long row of small heads was arrayed behind the stone wall, and a flurry of small arrows sprang up and floated across the stream towards Bear [Ian] and Tu [Shane] and bounced harmlessly off their shields. Bear and Tu charged towards the stream and prepared to leap straight across, while the rest of us followed.

Beyond the stone wall, the cavern extended back into the gloom to where a flickering fire could be seen, a roasting spit sitting above the flames, containing a small humanoid shape. Somewhere out of the darkness ahead a guttural chanting could be briefly heard.

“Oh shit” muttered Bear [Ian] and then an area of the cavern to the right of the fire plunged into even deeper darkness.

Myrtle of the shapely thighs

With all of the party, sans Debbie [Stephen] (whose music could no longer be heard over the noise of the stream and all the shouting) now out in the cavern, the second wave of arrows fell amongst the lot of us. Dexter [Jamie] took one in the shoulder, stumbled slightly, but continued on towards the jump across the stream. One ripped through Myrtle’s [Andrew] cloak, glanced across her shapely thigh, and drew a trickle of blood. The rest either bounced off armour or shield or just skittered harmlessly along the stone floor of the cavern.

Bear [Ian] and Tu [Shane] both leapt over the stream and wall in a single bound and started laying about with their swords. Dexter [Jamie] was right behind them but took another arrow in the chest as he mounted the top of the wall and dropped to the ground on the other side, unconscious. Scuttle [Chris] had to flank right around the end of the wall as he couldn’t get over it quickly, and Myrtle [Andrew] leapt the wall just behind Dexter [Jamie] and dropped into a crouch beside him to give aid. Tiny Gillard [Kevin] had to take two precarious steps along the left-hand log, and then flank left around the end of the stone wall. There was no way she could climb or jump that height!

Kobold Shaman

Just then a bizarrely dressed Kobold stepped out of the darkness beyond the wall and let fly a Magic Missile that struck Ouzo [Darryl] in the forehead just as he was about to cross the stream. I [Oliver, Jeff] was directly behind Ouzo [Darryl] and saw it all happen. I let fly my own Magic Missile straight back at the creature, and he stumbled and retreated back into the darkness. That’ll teach him!

Then we were all behind the wall and engaged in fierce battle. Ouzo [Darryl] slipped along the cavern wall and disappeared into the darkness in hunt of the Kobold Shaman. Gillard [Kevin] and her tiny blades slammed into two of the fierce Kobolds, laying about left and right and dealing damage, but taking mighty hits from the creatures in return. Bear [Ian] held three of the creatures at bay with his long swords, but they somehow used their diminutive size to get the advantage over him and he was soon bleeding from a handful of cuts around his legs. His mighty blows either swept above the heads of the tiny Kobolds or bounced off their plain leather armour. Tu [Shane] stepped in front of two of the creatures and was soon forcing them back away from the main group. Myrtle [Andrew] cast a “Cure Light Wounds” miracle on Dexter [Jamie], and he was able to leap back into the fray.

From my spot just on the other side of the wall I cast a second Magic Missile that felled one of the Kobolds, while Scuttle [Chris] slipped quietly around the end of the wall and appeared behind one of the Kobolds, dagger in hand for a surprise “Sneak Attack”. I managed to fire off another “Magic Missile” and dropped one of the Kobolds, but they were looking like a very hardy bunch of creatures indeed.

Things were not going well. Bear [Ian] was bleeding from multiple wounds, Gillard [Kevin] took another hit and dropped to the ground, I [Oliver, Jeff] got slashed across the thigh, although Myrtle [Andrew] then cast a “Cure Light Wounds” on me, and I managed to fire off my last Magic Missile. Unfortunately, it must have been a bit of a fizzer as the creature kept advancing towards me, until Tu [Shane] leapt in front of it and distracted it.

I was out of spells and retreated to see where Debbie [Stephen] was and why she wasn’t using her spells to actually help us. Myrtle [Andrew] rushed across to cast her last “Cure Light Wounds” on Bear [Ian] who had just taken a very nasty slash to the arm, effectively disabling him temporarily [critical hit, -2 on defence and attack, broken limb]. The Kobold Shaman again stepped out of the darkness and let fly another “Magic Missile” that struck Scuttle [Chris] in the forehead and knocked him back, although he manged to remain standing and continue fighting the Kobolds. In the magical darkness the sounds of Ouzo [Darryl] thrashing about trying to hit the Shaman who was no longer there, were echoing off the rear of the cavern.

I found Debbie [Stephen] , still in the entrance passage playing her flute and singing her spell, quite ineffectively as no one could hear it. “Huh, where is everyone?” she asked.
I dragged her out of the passage and across to the stream so the actual fighters could hear her.

Perhaps this turned the tide of the battle, as Kobolds started to drop more frequently, although Dexter [Jamie] and Gillard [Kevin] were both unconscious at that stage. Scuttle [Chris] was like a little whirlwind and took out the last Kobold with a “Surprise Attack” that left his dagger punched right through its throat from back to front. “That’s two to me” he triumphantly proclaimed. Ouzo [Darryl] staggered back from where the darkness had disappeared when the Shaman had finally been felled.

“Oh God” whispered Tu, “It is young Fletch on this spit”

Kobold Spell Book

Young Fletch was retrieved from the spit, very dead, and reverently wrapped in some cloth before we gathered the remaining Coultard family and the horses from outside. We took the remainder of the day to rest, recover spells, and heal everyone from their extensive wounds. We also explored the cavern, recovered some meagre piles of coins (80gp), a small gemstone, and a Kobold magical spell book. We set watches and spent the night there too.

Ouzo [Darryl] cleaned off the Shaman’s skull and loaded it into his pack.
Bear [Ian] sharpened his swords. “Useless things” he mumbled “They were only tiny Kobolds …”

In the morning we rose before light, ate a quick breakfast, gathered up all the dead Kobolds and retrieved their ears as tokens of our success, and set out at light to head on to the Coultard farm.

The journey was uneventful and around the middle of the afternoon we took a side track off the main path and soon spotted the farmhouse just ahead. It was a two-storey place, pretty tired looking, with the front door visible and closed. We halted on the track with the farmhouse in view while Dexter [Jamie] strode down the track with Scuttle [Chris] and Ouzo [Darryl] also drifting forward under cover of the trees, one to each side of the track. Dexter [Jamie] approached the front door and disappeared inside. The other two were out of sight, presumably scouting around the rear of the property.

Pretty soon Ouzo [Darryl] appeared around the side of the house and waved us forward.

Ye Olde Well

When we got there, he reported “A couple of old sheds around the back, overgrown gardens, and a well with pully and rope but no bucket”

Dexter [Jamie] said there was fire damage to the upstairs and it was pretty unstable, the cellar was clear, and the place appeared empty and unoccupied.

Mrs Coultard, Malinda, wanted to get the burial services completed as soon as possible so we all headed out to the graveyard and dug two small graves. The urn went into one, and the wrapped Fletch into the other. Everyone tossed in some dirt, Myrtle [Andrew] invoked the blessing of VINGT-ET-UN and said a few appropriate words. Bear [Ian] found a shovel and quickly filled in the graves and then we all retreated back to the house.

We brought the horses into the house too, pulled the door closed, ate a hearty supper, set our watches, and settled in for the night.

During the midnight watch (Myrtle [Andrew], Bear [Ian], and Ouzo [Darryl]) Malinda, who hadn’t been sleeping well, asked if she might pop down into the cellar to search for a few family mementos that had been left here when they originally fled all those years ago. Ouzo [Darryl] escorted her down to the cellar and she rummaged around in the debris for an hour or so.

In the morning we were preparing to leave when Ouzo [Darryl] rushed in from outside in an agitated state. “Hey, the rope, the rope, it’s gone! Did any of you take it off the pully?”

Sure enough, the rope that had been tied to the pully over the well was no longer there. We all peered into the well and Myrtle [Andrew] cast a “Light” miracle onto a rock and dropped it in. “Splash” about 30’ down, no sign of any rope, bucket, or anything amiss. Myrtle [Andrew] looked around at the party with a raised eyebrow.

“I can’t fit down that skinny well” stated Bear [Ian].
“I certainly aren’t climbing down there” said Ouzo [Darryl], “either there is nothing there and it’ll be a waste of effort, or there is something there and it’ll get me. So, sod off”
“Drop me down on a rope” volunteered Gillard [Kevin].

Bear [Ian] quickly tested the rope, grabbed one end, and lowered Gillard [Kevin] slowly down into the well, before she changed her mind. Suddenly there was a violent yank on the rope and Bear [Ian] reared back with a yell. “Gillard, you OK? What was that? … GILLARD ”

No reply.

He yanked up the rope, about 15’ of it, to find nothing but a frayed end.

Myrtle [Andrew] cast another “Light” spell on a small branch, and it was lowered slowly down the well to about 15’ depth. Now we could see that there was a large 2m diameter opening in the wall of the well at that depth, that led off in the direction of the farmhouse.

“What do you know of this?” Tu [Shane] demanded of Melinda.

“Nothing. There was no problem with the well when we left” she breathlessly replied.

“The cellar” yelled Scuttle [Chris], “It’s about that depth, and in that direction. Let’s go!”

Ouzo [Darryl] stayed outside to watch the well while the rest of us hurried inside and down into the cellar. Bear [Ian] banged on the cellar wall on the appropriate side and sure enough, it sounded wooden and hollow. “Nothing?” Tu [Shane] questioned Melinda.

“Well, my husband did make an old storeroom somewhere here” she replied, “but I never came down here”. “Hummff” grunted Tu [Shane].

Bear [Ian] spent a few seconds poking and pulling on the wall and then with a curse he just threw himself at the wall and crashed through into a small chamber. [Successful bend bars/lift gates (BBLG) roll]

The chamber had some dusty barrels and crates, but no other doors or tunnels leading away.

Bear [Ian] rushed over to the far wall and thumped on it. “Hollow” he shouted, then backed up, and rammed straight into it again. But bounced back with a grunt. [Failed BBLG roll]

Bear [Ian] rubbed his shoulder, thrust out his hand toward the rest of the party and yelled “Hammer, Axe, or anything sturdy, and be quick about it”.

Dexter [Jamie] was quickly back with a heavy rusty-headed sledgehammer which he thrust into Bear’s {Ian] outstretched hand. It was only a few minutes of swinging the sledgehammer into the old wall before Bear [Ian] broke through into a large, dark, and very stinky cavern. He passed the sledgehammer back, drew his sword and shield, and peered through the opening into the darkness beyond.

Gillard?

“Lantern” he yelled, and Scuttle [Chris] moved forward and shone his lantern around his knees into the darkness. “Oh, over there” he squeaked. A white cocooned figure was hanging from the ceiling at the far side of the chamber. “Surely that’s Gillard [Kevin]”

Bear [Ian] cautiously stepped into the dark cavern and looked around, Myrtle [Andrew] right behind him and Scuttle [Chris] with the lantern beside her. Almost immediately Bear [Ian] heard a noise from above and peered upward.

A giant spider dropped down just in front of him and began attacking, its huge mandibles crunching onto Bear’s [Ian] sword arm. “Owwww” he yelled, “but I’m OK”

Giant Spider drops on Bear

Bear [Ian] couldn’t push into the room so the rest of us behind him couldn’t assist. Scuttle [Chris] maintained the lantern so Bear [Ian] could see what he was doing and Myrtle [Andrew] stood just behind him with her miracles at the ready. A fierce battle ensured, which quickly became a race of attrition. Bear [Ian] was taking continual small damage from the spider but was struggling to cause significant damage to the spider from his sword blows [Giant spider armour of 5 points, therefore more than 5 damage required to do any damage to it at all. Strength damage bonus only applies when using strength style, therefore parry style and the resulting armour bonus and damage reduction does not apply if using the strength damage bonus]

After a few rounds Bear [Ian] groaned and complained of feeling dizzy and slow.

Myrtle [Andrew] muttered about poisons and cast her “Slow Poison” miracle.
“Ah, better” grunted Bear [Ian] as he thrust his sword at the spider again.

The battle went on for what felt like hours but was probably just a few minutes. Myrtle [Andrew] stepped back with a curse “No more spells, good luck” she whispered. Bear [Ian] valiantly battled on, but was soon feeling woozy and weak again. As he was about to stagger back, he struck a mighty blow [critical hit, avoiding armour] and the spider collapsed to the ground. None too soon either as he then toppled backwards, nearly crushing Scuttle [Chris] on the way down and lay stiff as a board and unresponsive on the floor, his legs still protruding out into the spider cavern.

We quickly dragged him back into the second hidden room and Tu [Shane] peered through the opening past the giant spider’s body. “Um, there is still movement up there in those webs around the roof” he said, “how about we just burn them out?”

“No!” yelled Scuttle [Chris] “you’ll burn poor Gillard as well. Just run in and rescue him!”