Queen's Hand-maiden

Sun 20-Apr-1603 (10-Apr) continued ...

Bosun Island was a tiny island, quarter of an Irish acre (circular, 50 paces across),  right next to Inishbeg Island. The island had a single sidhe circle which all but covered the entire island, and had a stone cairn like the one on Lamb Island.

Golden Hind

There was a large storm brewing and it hit just as Golden Hind made anchor; horizontal rain, howling wind and lightning. They were in a relatively sheltered bay, deep down the Donegal harbour, in the mouth of the river Ilen, five Irish miles from open sea, but even so, the storm severely rocked the boat bad enough that Captain Owens ordered a second anchor for the stern.

There were two hours left of the day, but the wise Captain suggested: "Baton down the hatches, lads. It's too dangerous to put the jolly boats out in this. We'll try in the mornin'."

A crack of lightning emphasized his words in stark silhouette.

Everyone went below, out of the driving rain. Except Roma. He was up on deck, when another crack of lighting struck the spike on the ball at the top of the mast. Roma was blown off his feet: ears ringing, sight blinded.

Edward Kelley came scurrying up from below, dragging a long rope. He inserted it into a hole at the foot of the mast, then went below again. Roma had a look at the rope; it was braided with small pieces of metal wire. The rope went from the mast down below, through the ship and under the door to Edward's room at the bow.

A few minutes later, another bolt of lightning struck the mast spike. The rope crackled and smoked. This time there was a whining noise coming from Edward's room.

Where the rope snaked over the deck, it left a charred trail on the wood. Captain Owens was asked, by the party, if he worried about this, but he seemed to trust Edward's assurances.

The Bishop, Deacon and Tess were doing Vespers in the chapel when the lightning struck. The flash lit up the chapel quite artistically though the stained-glass window on the ceiling. They could hear the whining too. [ Tess played by Charlotte this week ]

Captain Owens

Mon 21-Apr

In the morning, it was still raining hard and there was quite a sea, but the lightning no longer raged.

After Prime mass, the ship's compliment loaded the two jolly boats with Edward's equipment and went ashore. Edward walked the queen, stiffly, into the centre of the island, and sat her down in a sturdy chair which had been placed next to the cairn. Edward fashioned a metal helmet, with a cross on it, for her head, and connected it to his equipment.

Edward activated his gear, the three men-at-arms turning cranks, and he gave a nod to the Bishop who began the ritual. Again, it was the funeral mass done in reverse Latin. At the culmination of the service, the grass in the circle suddenly went brown, and the archway through the cairn went dark. The queen, on the chair, rolled her eyes, opened her mouth and screamed, then thrashed about convulsing and writhing as if in agony. Everyone tensed and covered their ears from the deafening howls, worried what would happen next. But the convulsions and spasms faded and stopped.

Then her eyes lolled, and focused on Tess, staring intently. Her mouth and tongue gibbered and flapped. Then she spoke. It was Irish Gaelic. The words started off raspy and sibilant, but got clearer as she spoke. (Only Tess and Edward could understand Gaelic.)

"Cé tusa? Cé tusa?! Cé tusa?! Cé tusa?!!"

"Ah... Tugtar Tess orm," said Tess. "I am Tess."

"Bráithre! Bráithre!" the queen said. "Is mise mo bhráithín daor."

"She says I am now ... her servant," translated Tess. "Her ... erm ... hand-maiden."

"Fola. Tá fuil orm. Anois! Anois!! Anois!!!"

Queen Elizabeth (post-blood)

"And she says she needs to drink," said Tess. "Um... drink blood. Now. Urgent."

Roma muttered quietly "Vampire."

The queen scanned everyone present, eyes alighting on each, staring into their very souls: Bishop John Dee and Edward, the four men-at-arms (Sergeant Evans, and the three privates Smith, Staines and O'Halloran [ Private Smith guest-played by Andreas ]), the party, and the group of twelve jolly Jack Tars off the Golden Hind.

"Níl aon duine anseo íon, ach amháin tú féin agus tú," She pointed at the Deacon and then to Tess. 

"She states that no-one here is pure except the Deacon ... and me," translated Tess. "It seems you have all had ... carnal knowledge in your pasts. I don't think she can consume blood of the ... sullied. I did ... er... think I was sullied, but maybe the 'conversion' made me pure again."

After a bit, the Deacon came forward and offered his hand to Edward, who used a small blade to cut the Deacon's wrist, and then bled him into a cup. Then Edward put a dollop of some cold stinging unguent on the wound, and covered it with a piece of sticky cloth. This stopped the bleeding. 

Edward gave the cup to the queen: "Fola an sagart a thugtar duit. The Deacon's blood, given for you."

She drank it down in one. Blood came out her eyes.

Roma said "Vampire" again.

Edward frowned at Roma and said: "Those foul creatures can not function during the day. And they have bitey teeth. Do you see such teeth on our great Queen here? No. So don't say that word again."

"How often need she feed?" asked Art.

Edward asked the queen quietly, and then he said sheepishly "Um ... Six times a day."

"How many times can the Deacon and Tess give blood before they will start to ... be harmed?"

Edward thought about this for a while. "We don't really want them killed. So, I would say, three cups a day for two days, each, should be fine, but then they must wait for ... erm ... many weeks, to refresh ..." He interrupted the look of concern on their faces. "... but we will make for Baltimore on the next tide, and round up some pure ... criminals, urchins and strays, and volunteers."

They began to load all the arcane gear back on to the ship.

The queen was ensconced in Edward's room (his laboratory) using the stout chair as a make-shift throne. Tess was required to stay with her all the time as her hand-maiden. Tess did her hair and made-up her face. Todd Unctuous had, understandably, no experience with make-up, nor lady coiffure, but, as Tess, seemed to manage remarkably well. Maybe he found his feminine side. [ excellent rolls done ].

Queen Elizabeth was 70 when she died, but already the signs of aging, and the signs of being dead and embalmed for three weeks, were beginning to lessen. Maybe it was the blood, maybe it was the recent ritual.

El Gato Diablo, Ab's cat familiar, joined Tess and the queen in Edward's room, and spent the time curled up on some cushions in the corner of the lab. Ab had learned a lot more "remote control" of El Gate, so having another pair of eyes on the room seemed a good idea.

Four hours later, all the gear was tidied up, and the ship pulled back from Bosun Island and achored for the night.

"We will head for Baltimore in the morning," said Captain Owen.

After None mass, it was Tess's turn to give blood. Like with the Deacon, Edward cut her wrist. He bled out two cups of blood. One he gave the queen to drink; the other for later.

Tess briefly considered consorting with someone to break her purity and thus save on "blood donations". Handsome and charismatic Elrick was a superb candidate, and he was certainly keen. But there was still the mind of Todd Unctuous in Tess's womanly body, and the thought of doing that with a man turned his/her stomach.

Someone suggested that the Spanish girl be used as a blood donor, but the queen quickly discounted her. The act of sidhe gender re-assignment apparently made one pure (Todd was a bit of a lad in his past, yet Tess was now pure), but when the hapless Spanish prisoner was being held in chains in the Baltimore barracks' cells, half the garrison had "conjugally-visited" her.

The Spanish girl was beginning to learn a few words of English (and John Dee was fluent in Spanish), so she had a name now. Before the change, he was called Lucas, now she named herself "Lucia". She was on the path of becoming a fully-fledged NPC.

While Tess was alone with the queen in Edward's lab, she examined his impressive library. Tess could read Latin and English, so had no trouble at least reading the spines:

Prague Golem - Play-Golem's
Golem of the Year, 1602

• Trithemian Steganography
• Marsilio Ficino's Neo-Platonism
• Studia Humanitatis.
• Cosimo de' Medici's The Schism  
• Reuchlin's De arte cabalistica libri tres, iam denua adcurate revisi, 1530.
• Francesco Giorgi's De harmonia mundi
• Necronimicon
• Voynich Manuscript
• Demonicron
• Taverner's Book of Angels
• Dr. Dee's Book of Spirits
• The seven main versions of the Quran: Nafi`, Ibn Kathir, Abu `Amr al-`Ala', Ibn `Amir, Hamzah, al-Qisa'i and Abu Bakr `Asim.
• Wycliffe's Bible 1388, hand-copied
• Various printed versions of the Bible: Tyndale Bible, 1526; Coverdale Bible, 1535; Matthew's Bible, 1537; Taverner's Bible, 1539; Great Bible, 1539; and Geneva Bible, 1560. [ note, the King James Bible comes out in 8 year's time ]
• J.P. Sopwith's Dummy's Guide to Physics
• And a good selection of golem pornography (Play-Golem, Lewd Things to Make with Clay, Clay Boy, Suck My Name)

The night passed quietly.

Tue 22-Apr

After Terce, the Deacon used his innate healing "blessing" skill on himself. Not only did this heal the wrist wound, but it restored the lost blood. So, the next time Edward came to collect blood from the Deacon, he was most surprised.

"Your group astounds me more and more, with your preternatural abilities," Edward said to him. "You do know that healing ability will get you burned as a witch if the Church finds out?"

Ab had two healing potions that he had brewed when last in Baltimore. He gave one to Tess when she returned from Sext. It had a similar effect to the Deacon's blessing - healed the wound and restored the blood. So, the next time Edward came to collect blood from Tess, he was, again, surprised.

"Your group astounds me more and more, with your preternatural abilities," Edward said to Tess and Ab. "You do know that healing ability will get you burned as a witch if the Church finds out?"

Later on in the trip, Roma had an idea to get the queen to eat some of the magic sand; maybe it would change her to a man, maybe it would affect her in other ways, maybe it would "destroy this vampire". He conspired with Ab to slip a pinch of sand into the blood cup the next time the queen fed. This required the Deacon or Tess's tacit assistance. Tess made it clear that she would not help. Nevertheless, it was all set up to happen, with a diversion using El Gato, and Roma's sleight-of-hand. But the Deacon got cold feet and they decided not to attempt it.

They arrived in Baltimore harbour late afternoon (after None). The Brig HMS Dreadful was still docked at the wharf, but the Painted Lady of Riga was gone.

As soon as the ship was secured to the wharf, Ab scurried off and went straight to St Mary's. He found Father O'Reilly and pleaded for a confession. Father O'Reilly sat dumb-founded in the confessional as Ab spilled his guts with not only venial sins, but a host of mortal sins too: wild stories of little-people magic, sidhe gender re-assignments, magical storms and lightning, participation in the raising of an undead queen, the undead creature drinking blood of a priest, magical potion brewing and cat familiars. Father O'Reilly thought he was dealing with someone touched in the head, as all these confessions out-weighed the total of all the confessions he had ever heard. The good Father, like most Baltimorians, had always seen Ab as a weird, social pariah (not helped by his stomach-turning visage), and this rambling confession only helped to cement that belief.

After Ab had finished, the Father paused and digested the extensive litany "Perform ten Rosaries, my son, and then give what you can to the Church. Give until it hurts."

Queen Elizabeth

Fri 18-Apr-1603 (8-Apr) continued...

The party was on-board John Dee's merchant ship the Golden Hind.

"We should be at Long Island by noon," said Bishop John Dee. "But in the mean time, Deacon, will you join me for Terce? We have a consecrated chapel on board. Consecrated by none other than ... the Pope himself! Clement the Eighth."

The Deacon couldn't say no. So he and Tess [ Tess played by Grace this week ] accompanied the Bishop below decks to the chapel. A peaceful room amidships, below decks, with a stained glass window on its ceiling.

During the Terce service, Tess could swear she heard singing; a heavenly choir, women's voices. The Deacon did too. But they couldn't identify the source. It seemed to come from everywhere, and only when the Bishop was performing the service. He claimed he heard nothing. Though, he had claimed the other day that "he could commune with angels".

Spanish gender-reassigned prisoner

They got to Long Island about noon. After performing the Sext service (again, with the heavenly choir), Bishop Dee asked the party to accompany the Spanish girl, Edward Kelley and three men-at-arms to the shore. He told the Spanish girl that she wouldn't be kept in irons if she behaved herself.

Art took them to the site of the battle, and to the spot where the Spanish sailor had had his gender re-assignment.

Edward Kelley wandered about. He was carrying a strange device, like a two sycamore seeds joined together on a stick. He called it his "orphic dowser". He would pause in different spots, and spin the device. It would float to the ground and he would check at this exact spot.

The "melted" body of the Spaniard was where the party had left it on Tuesday. It had started to rot in the warm spring sun and was already fly-blown. Edward knelt next to it, and used a paring knife to take little flesh samples, which he placed into glass ampules. His orphic dowser, when done near the body, would land on corpse's mouth every time. So he took some samples from there too.

When Edward was done, he suggested the corpse be given a burial, so he ordered the men-at-arms to dig a grave, and the Deacon performed a commitment ceremony.

Back on board, the ship made for Lamb Island; where the party had been on Sunday night. During this trip, Bishop Dee performed the None service for the Deacon and Tess.

At Lamb Island, they went ashore and the group showed Edward all the spots they remembered of this place, the woods where the nymph was seen by Roma, and the spot where Todd had his gender re-assignment into Tess. Edward's orphic dowser got a few good detections all over the place.

Lamb Island sidhe cairn

Beyond the forest, the ground sloped upwards. Here there was a large mushroom-ringed sidhe circle with a stone cairn in the centre. And beyond that, a cliff which marked the other side of the island.

Roma, Elrick and Art were brave enough to cross over the mushroom-line boundary and into the circle. There was no ill effect. The stone cairn was built in the shape of an arch; no-one was brave enough to crawl through it.

Edward did an extensive set of tests with his orphic dowser while they were playing. He scratched his head and did some calculations, then announced to no-one in particular: "This place is perfect. I think we have the power."

Roma spotted a skeleton at the base of the cliff above the high tide line. He climbed down. It had a bronze crucifix, which he rescued. Roma was still carrying the sidhe sand (that had changed Todd to Tess, etc) on his person, and while doing so, the crucifix burned him if he tried to wear it. He experimented, and if he didn't carry the sand, then the crucifix would not burn..

As it was approaching dark, they all returned to the Golden Hind; no-one was brave enough to chance staying the night ashore. Captain Owens pulled the ship back a bit further from the shore. This was probably a good idea, because during the night they saw eerie lights in the vicinity of the cairn, and shadowy figures in the woods.

The Bishop took the Deacon and Tess for Vespers, then, at different stages during the night, for Compline, Matins and Lauds.

Sat 19-Apr

After breakfast (and Prime), Bishop Dee and Edward assembled the men-at-arms, the ship's crew, and the party. Then he burst into beautiful plain-song:

"Procedamus in pace
In nomine Christi, Amen
Cum angelis et meretricibus dantur mercedes
niamur, triumphatori mortis:
'Hosanna in excelsis'

Levate portae capita vestra, non canino:
Et elevamini portae aeternales:
et introibit rex gloriae.
Quis est iste rex gloriae?

I commune with angels. I've done it all my life.
What I am about to say; it may engender strife.
The good Lord has commanded me, to follow His decree.
To help the world and England, as loyal as I can be.

So what I have below this deck, I'm sure you will support,
A golden casket. much bejeweled, as like something wrought,
Within the casket, to be sure, is something good and blessed,
Lies the body, in her state, of our great Queen Elizabeth."

Jaws dropped all round.

"Queen Elizabeth?!"

Elrick whispered to Roma: "How long's she actually been dead?

"Um.. three or four weeks."

The locked doors down in the hold were opened, and the men-at-arms carried a gold coffin onto the deck.

The two jolly boats were loaded with equipment from Edward Kelley's work-room: strange wires, pipes, bellows, tubes and blown-glass vessels. And large brass hoops and balls. This equipment and the casket was ferried to the shore, and transported to the sidhe circle where Edward set it all up. The casket was brought forth and placed on a trestle table right next to the cairn. This took several hours, and it was well past noon when they finished.

The entire ship's company had been used in this undertaking, and there was a skeleton crew (and the Spanish girl) left on board the Golden Hind.

The party stationed themselves outside the circle. Ab and Roma even further back by the woods.

Then Edward activated his gear and got it humming. Mechanical force was supplied by the men-at-arms cranking handles and turning wheels, and there was a small wood brazier to provide distillation heat and to burn incense. Edward gave a nod to Bishop Dee, and he began the service.

Deacon O'Reilly recognized it as a funeral mass in Latin, but half-way through, the Bishop started to read the Latin words backwards. The instant this began, in the woods where Roma and Ab were sheltering, the trees started to rustle, even though there was no wind.

Queen Elizabeth

The corpse stirred, gave a raspy sigh, then it sat up, stiffly. Queen Elizabeth had been embalmed, but, even so, the body had desiccated considerably. Also, she was seventy, was completely bald, and wore a wig and ornamental head-gear. Finally, her face had been heavily made up, in corpus status, so was painted white. So, when this corpse thing sat up, there were quite a few gasps of concern.

The Bishop paused mass, Edward approached the dried corpse, forced open its mouth, and placed a piece of paper inside. The Bishop composed himself and managed to complete the rest of the  "funeral" mass.

The corpse turned to the side and stiffly climbed out of the casket, and stood there, unmoving.

Edward was delighted, he all but capered around the corpse. Its dead eyes were on him all the time; so much so, that when he capered behind it, the head spun right around.

By now, all the grass in the sidhe circle had died, and was already turning brown.

Bishop Dee, the party, and men-at-arms, didn't look very pleased.

"This isn't natural," said Tess to the Deacon in a hoarse whisper.

"You think..?!" Deacon was never very good at not using sarcasm.

"She lives! She lives!" said Edward.

Well aware of the time, the Bishop ordered everything packed up again. Even more so than last night, they did not want to be on the island after dark now.

All the equipment was reboxed and ferried back to the boat again. Edward escorted the lumbering corpse queen back to the boat, and stiffly walked her into his room.

He kept his door locked. Later that evening, Roma did make an attempt to get in, but the lock was more complex than he was used to.

After dark, there was less activity on the island than the previous night.

Sun 20-Apr

In the morning, after Prime, the Deacon called a breakfast meeting, including the party, Bishop Dee, Edward, Captain Owens and the Sergeant at arms: Sergeant Evans

"This is a blasphemy in the sight of the Lord," said the Deacon. "An abomination..."

"Yet the Lord instructed the good Bishop to do this," interrupted Edward. "Nay, 'demanded'."

Bishop Dee nodded wanly.

"It is unnatural," said Sergeant Evans. "It should be destroyed."

"Burn it," said Captain Owens.

"'SHE'", said Edward. "Not 'it'."

They argued on and on. Noone wanted this thing in their midst, except for Edward, and Bishop Dee. On Edward's side, apparently angels did regularly commune with the Bishop and told him that God wanted him to resurrect Queen Elizabeth, to 'make England great again.' So the Bishop was still giving Edward tacit support, even though he was getting more and more horrified each hour at what they had made.

"Well, why can't we get her to speak then?" asked the Deacon. "She doesn't seem very alive."

Roma thought she was a vampire. His Romany origin was near the kingdom of Wallachia, so that theory made perfect sense to him. Though, he seemed to remember that sunlight burned vampires, and this one seemed unfazed.

"Yes," admitted Edward. "More work must be done to fix that. But we have exhausted the power of Lamb Island. Do you know of other areas of the Little People?"

The party didn't, but Tess had heard of one when she (as Todd) lived in Cork: Bosun island [ +4 on her Knowledge roll ]. About another half-day's travel away.

"We will head for there," said Edward.

Spanish Treasure

Wed 16-Apr-1603 (6-Apr) continued ...

Deacon Father O'Reilly [Shane] and Tess returned to St Mary's. Father O'Reilly confronted them.

"Where is Todd? And who's this floosie?" he demanded.

The Deacon let loose with the carefully crafted lie: "We were attacked by Ottomans on last night, by Lamb Island. Brave Art Bowman [Jeff], from the barracks, scared them off. But a stray shot killed poor Todd dead. We wept. When Art and Elrick [Ian] pursued the fleeing Ottomans, they found an abandoned prisoner: this young lady, Tess."

"Well, we can't have no whores nor Jezebels stayin' here!"

"I'm not a whore," said Tess.

"So yuh gave yuh charms away fer free then, harlot?"

"I'm pure. I'm not a harlot."

"Soot yer mowt, Jezebel."

"She can stay in the woodshed, Father," said the Deacon.

"A few nights only. Oi'll write to St Margaret's convent at Cork; they cin have the whore," said the Father.

He stomped off. Tess moved into the woodshed. Todd was used to sleeping here anyway. This is where he had to serve penance when he had erred in the past. So, she tidied the pallet, and made up the bed.

On the other side of town, Ab [Darryl] returned to his cottage. He had time to fire up the cauldron, and start up a brew before dark. The herbs he had got from Long island was enough for him to cook a healing mix. He got the fire going and got the water heating, and then had a little snooze in the late afternoon sun.

He was in a dream. It was so vivid. On a ship, looking out over the water. To an island. Wait a minute, that was Long Island. And there's the wreck we were at only yesterday. His mind's eye was onboard the Spanish ship!

Two long boats were returning across the water towards the ship. Each carrying an iron box.
Then his vision changed: he was scampering across the deck, dog or cat eye-height, and he scurried down a companion-way into a cabin. Then curled up on a cushion.

Ab rushed off to the Squire's Daughter inn to tell Roma [Chris] and Elrick this. The Spanish had treasure from the wreck.

"We'll grab the others in the mornin'," said Roma. "Get the Painted Lady to take us."

Thu 17-Apr

Like Ab, Deacon had a strange dream too. It was the grey light of early dawn, and he was looking down at his body ... a nude body ... but it wasn't his body, it was a woman's body. Hands were there; on the breasts, belly, groin, touching herself, caressing, fingering. He could hear panting, moaning...  Suddenly, he recognized the inside of the woodshed, and recognized that moaning voice. Tess!

Then he was wide awake, back in his bed, in the bedroom of the church cottage. He leapt out of bed and ran to the woodshed. Tess was awake, holding her sheets up, looking guilty as hell.

"Keep yer hands to yourself!" he barked. That didn't come out right; she was. He paused, then continued: "Genesys 38. You know the story of Onan, the good Lord slew him for such acts."

"Onan had carnal knowledge of his wife Tamar," said Tess. "And he withdrew early and 'spilled his seed on the ground'. Denying the levirate* inheritance. That was why the Lord slew him."

"Well, the sentiment is there!"

"Yes, Deacon." said Tess resignedly.

[ * = a levirate wife is when a childless widow marries the brother of her deceased husband. If there are sons, they inherit the deceased husband's wealth. If there are none, the brother gets it. ]

Down at the docks, Roma easily convinced Captain Galvenā-Krastmala ("Main-yard" in Latvian) with the promise of treasure to make sail immediately. The HMS Dreadful left late yesterday so probably didn't have time to engage the Spanish. They might be able to get there in time.

Sure enough, by the time they got to Long Is, the Dreadful was fully engaged with the Spanish ship. Its six guns didn't stand a chance against the 14 gun brig, and was in the process of sinking.

While the English were fishing the Spaniards out of sea, the Painted Lady pulled alongside the listing Spanish ship. Roma and Art swung over, with magnificent grace and style [ superb Agility all round ], and made their way down into the hold to search. Here they found one of the strong boxes (that Ab's vision had observed the previous afternoon) and they hauled it up on deck, and roped it up.

El Gato Diablo

Back on the Painted Lady, Ab saw a black cat on the mast of the doomed ship. It fixed eyes with him, then climbed out on the foresail yard arm, and leapt gracefully onto the deck next to him. Then leapt onto his shoulders. This was unusual in its own right; normally animals were scared of Ab [ Ab has the Frightens Animals fault. This cat was the result of his gift: familiar.]

While the HMS Dreadful headed back to Baltimore, the Painted Lady swung past the wreck, and Elrick went for another swim. He managed to find some mollusk-encrusted bottles of wine, but then had to give up because the tide was rising.

Roma opened the locked trunk. Inside were gold coins, some silver ingots and some jewellery. They had agreed to split the treasure and the bottles with the Painted Lady's Captain and crew, so this was done.

When they returned to Baltimore, there was another ship in the harbour: The Golden Hind, a large merchantman.

To celebrate their new-found wealth, they went to the Squire's Daughter, and hit the ale. Gossip abounded. The Golden Hind, out of Falmouth, was transporting a pious bishop called John Dee. He was one of Queen Elizabeth's religious advisers before she died less than a month ago. Drinking to the gossipers, and to the ill-health of James 1st (the new king), the Deacon was rolling drunk pretty quickly. He vomitted and soiled himself. Tess decided she better take him back to the church. Art and Elrick accompanied to support the drunk, with Tess and Roma bringing up the rear.

John Dee

When they returned to St Mary's, all the church windows glowed. The place was well-lit from within; all the expensive beeswax candles had been lit. Father O'Reilly normally saved them for special occasions, and stuck to the tallow ones when he needed light. There were a bunch of soldiers in unusual livery around the front door.

Art confronted the soldiers. They were Bishop John Dee's retainers, and he had come to the church (closest to the docks) to pray. Father O'Reilly was performing ad hoc Vespers.

When Bishop Dee heard that the group was here, he summoned them inside.

"So you are the ones?" he asked.

"Uh, what 'ones'?"

"The Captain of the local barracks told me that you had brought in a Spanish lady. With a very dubious back-story behind her."

They looked at each other: "Um, yeah."

"Join me tomorrow at the Barracks, after first light. Bring your entire group."

"Yes, sir."

With that he dismissed them. Tess put the slurring Deacon to bed, then retired herself back to the woodshed. Elrick and Roma returned to their lodgings at the Squire's Daughter. Art returned to the barracks.

Fri 18-Apr, First Quarter

Captain Carmichael

When the group arrived at the barracks in the morning, all the soldiers, the entire company, were out, standing in parade formation, in their best uniforms. Captain Carmichael and his three lieutenants were dressed up too. Art was in his dress uniform in his squad, standing at attention with all the rest.

The party arrived and stood awkwardly to one side. Ab had his new cat, El Gato, sitting on his shoulders.

Up the path came the smartly dressed soldiers of the Golden Hind. Accompanied by Bishop Dee. Captain Carmichael saluted sharply to John Dee who gave him a nod.

"With the Lord's grace, let us retire to your office, Captain," said Bishop Dee.

"Yes, your grace," said the Captain.

John Dee beckoned the party over, then said to the Captain. "And bring, too, the Spanish girl forth."

The parade was dismissed and the party & co went to the Captain Carmichael's office. The three company Lieutenants and Sergeant Suarez too. The Spanish girl was brought too, in chains. She had had a rough few days: two black eyes, swollen lips, and was only clad in a torn shift.

It turned out that John Dee could speak Spanish. The same questions were asked of the girl as the other day, and this time there was no tittering or smirking.

"<So, you turned from a man into a woman? And this group was responsible for it?>"

"<Yes, my Lord.>"

"Captain," said the Bishop. "I request to take this Senorita into my custody. I trust you ... and your company ...  have finished with her yourself."

The Captain nodded. It was one less problem for him to deal with. The soldiers of Cork would just have to miss out on their comfort girl. And anyway. his men had had their fair share of "comfort" from her already.

"One other thing, Captain." said John Dee. "I heard that you had a reliquary of St Agatha. Thus, I have written a letter to the Primate of All Ireland. I request it to accompany the reliquary to be delivered so with. We can not have such an priceless item melted down or destroyed."

With that, John Dee and his retainers left, Spanish girl in tow. He asked for the party to accompany him as well, so Lieutenant Matthews gave Art permission again. The party went to the docks and boarded the Golden Hind. Then made sail.

Edward Kelley

John Dee had a companion on board called Edward Kelley. He had a certain intense air about him. It turned out that he was from Kinsale, only a day's travel from Baltimore, but had spent most of his life in England and in Bohemia.

John and Edward took Elrick, Roma and Art off to one side. Not only were they suspicious of the Spanish girl's origins, but they were casting doubt upon Tess too.

"She has a sidhe air about her," said Edward.

After a lot of thorough questioning, Elrick, and then Art, admitted the whole story was a lie. Both Todd-to-Tess and sailor-to-girl. Edward knew a lot about sidhe and fae, and put that down as a cause. John and Edward had a pet theory that the sidhe magic was of divine origin "the little people are still God's creatures" but fully acknowledged that the Church would look very dimly upon this theory. Comments of witchcraft and stake-burning abounded.

At no time did Roma did admit that he had used the sand on the Spaniards. So it was a mystery what was the origin of that conversion.

Thus, the Golden Hind was headed back to Long Island to investigate the site of this metamorphosis, and thence to Lamb Island.

The Reliquary

Roma Freeley - the "pikey" [ Chris ]

Tue 15-Apr-1603 (5-Apr)

On Long Island.

Three foreigners were down: one dead and two unconscious. Roma [Chris] took out the magic sand (the sand that had changed Todd into Tess) and scooped a small lump into each of the unconscious men's mouths. Then stepped back to watch.

Ab Siddy - the "hedge wizard" [ Darryl ]

Ab Siddy [Darryl] surreptitiously cast his reflexive Camouflage spell, and padded down to the edge of the woods where it met the beach. There were four foreigners there, out in the surf, using their jolly boat as cover, getting ready to leave. One was shouting orders.

"Mantén tu mierda abajo! Esos hijos de putas atacarán en cualquier momento."

Ab mumbled to himself "they be Spaniards," and watched them for a bit, then returned to the group.

Elrick - the "sailor" [ Ian ]

By the time Ab got back, one of the unconscious Spaniards was bucking and writhing, and the other one was convulsing so violently that his body formed a hoop and his ankles touched the back of his head. There was a sickening cracking of bone and then he shrieked hysterically. He rolled on his side and was still. Roma approached the stationary man warily, then recoiled in horror. The skin and flesh had started to melt off the wretch's bones.

The second Spaniard fared a little better. He started to cough violently, just like Tess the other day. And like Tess, he started coughing his insides out... then he just turned ... inside out, and coughed out a young woman. She had dusky skin, and jet black hair. Like Tess, she was unconscious and non-responsive, so  Roma bound her up,  leashed and gagged her, taking his own sweet time, enough to steal some exquisite cuddles.

Deacon F. O'Reilly - the "priest" [ Shane ]

Suddenly, there was a distant bang. Elrick [Ian] (using his navy knowledge) instantly recognized it as the blast from a canon. A second or two later, the leaves whispered above, and motes of dust danced around the party on the ground, as a load of grape-shot arrived at high speed. Most of the party were hit by the flying balls and wounded. They all scurried for cover.

Deacon O'Reilly [Shane], uninjured himself, moved from person to person and used his Healing blessings  to administer to each of the wounds.

Art - the "solider" [ Jeff ]

By now, out on the water, the four Spaniards were rowing back to their ship (moored half a mile off the island).

The tide had reached its lowest, and was so low that rocky reefs were starting to show in a ring around the island. Down the coast a little was the reason the group (and presumably the Spanish) was here; a wrecked ship was sitting, half submerged. It looked ten to twenty years old.

"Could be from the Spanish Armada," observed Roma. "That was fifteen years back."

Tess (Todd)

The group moved adjacent to the wreck, with the gagged and bound Spanish sailor-now-girl in tow, maintaining their cover in the woods. The Spanish ship fired a few more desultory blasts of grape-shot at their old location.

Elrick, who was a fair swimmer, swam out to the the wreck. He poked about, not willing to risk entering the dangerous hold proper, but he managed to get into the Captain's cabin where he found a sealed wooden tube. He returned it to the group. Father broke the tube's wax seal and opened it, and was greeted with a sheet of velum covered in Spanish writing and a small map of the British Isles. No-one could read Spanish, so they rolled it up and returned it to the tube.

Elrick returned to the wreck and poked around blindly at the gash in the ship's hold. He fished about and picked up something small and heavy. He cleared the muck off it; it was gold! He took it back to the group.

Father recognized it as St Agatha, and that it was a reliquary. It contained some thick red liquid - presumably the Saint's blood.

By now the tide had risen too high to allow Elrick to explore any more of the wreck.

"We need to get the Dreadful (English warship back in Baltimore) onto the Spanish ship there," stated Art [Jeff]. "They will take care of it."

It was getting dark.

They made a decision that would almost cost them their lives.

"We need to get back to Baltimore fast. Let's go now."

They hauled out their skiff, and slid it into the sea, and all clambered aboard, including the Spanish girl prisoner, who was still bound and leashed. Elrick manned the rudder and they set sail, into the breakers, with Roma clutching on at the bow. Roma had excellent night vision [ Fudge gift night vision which gives him vision like a star-light scope ] which was a good thing, because there was no moon and it was overcast.

Elrick dead-reckoned [ a Fudge gift can't get lost ] to Horse Island, and guessed this trip would take five hours. Already, there was a big swell and this was still in the lee of Long Is.

As they continued, the sea got bigger and bigger. However, only Roma could see this, and he would shout to Elrick above the din of the roaring sea, "Left! Left! Hard left! I mean the other left! Right! Left!". The wave tops were beginning to break, and so a wall of water would rush down the length of the skiff, utterly drenching everyone. In the pitch black, no-one could see the slightest thing, and Roma didn't always get a chance to scream "Wave!". All they could do was bail...  and bail ... and bail as water pounded and soaked them. Occasionally, the clouds would part and there'd be a few stars visible, but all this did was to highlight the horrendous silhouette of an approaching wave, twice the height of the mast, as it roared and foamed towards them.

Time passed, waves crashed, wretches bailed, Roma screamed, but Elrick's skill and determination prevailed [ four boating rolls made; had any failed, it would have broken up the boat, ... and no-one could swim, except Elrick ] and the sea dropped as they entered the bay of Horse Is. Friendly twinkling lights shone from the house overlooking. The group staggered up the path and were greeted by the inhabitants, (most of whom they knew from two nights ago anyway).

They were given dry clothes and warm beds. Father took the double bed with both Tess and the Spanish prisoner, platonically, to protect the girls from Roma.

In the morning, Father had a strange dream. He was floating out of his body, outside in the pre-dawn gloom, in the garden here. He looked down and gasped; he was a woman, or in the body of a woman, and she was trying to pee, but she was standing up, making a mess. He jumped, a hypnic jerk, and woke up, back in the bed. Tess was not next to him, though the Spanish girl was.

A short while later, Tess arrived back to bed. The Spanish girl was still tied up, and she had wet the bed. So Tess took her outside, while Father got the bedding changed.

Wed 16-Apr

After breakfast, they said their good byes and headed back out into the harbour, to cross over to Baltimore. This trip would be another six hours.

The swell had dropped a bit, and they were now running with the waves, so the trip wasn't so terrifying. But they still got utterly soaked.

They passed Lamb Island after three hours, and from then on, the sea got considerably smaller. They arrived in Baltimore early afternoon.

They all rushed to the garrison. Captain Carmichael, Baltimore commander, was summoned.

Straight away, he ordered a runner to be sent to the Brig Dreadful with a letter asking it to engage the Spanish.

The Spanish prisoner was questioned first.

"We found this Spanish girl on Long Island," said Private Art. "Maybe she is a ship's whore. She can't speak English."

The Capt summoned a Sergeant Suarez who could speak Spanish. Suarez questioned the girl, while everyone watched. The discussion was quite animated and Suarez and the girl ended up shouting at each other. He struck her across the face, and she fell to the ground.

"She claims she was changed into lady, by magic!" spluttered Suarez.

They all laughed.

"'She' was Spanish sailor hhoo was on ze island and accosted by your group, Private Art, and you... you changed hhher into a woman. I hhave asked hhher many time and she no change hher story."

"Put her in irons and throw her in the cells," said Carmichael. "We'll work on her later."

The girl was dragged off weeping.

"What will happen to her?" asked Roma.

"Most likely she'll end up as a comfort girl in Cork."

Captain Carmichael questioned the group about their trip. He didn't ask about Todd Unctuous nor Tess, probably assuming she was a maid or camp follower or whore, but he was particularly interested in the Long Is wreck.

The map tube parchment was unrolled on the table, and Suarez read it.

"These orders. For the ship Santa Maria. Eet give landing sites on England south coast. Eet not say much more."

The Captain then started asking many details about the wreck. Father tried to keep the presence of the gold St Agatha reliquary secret, but honest Elrick told all. The Captain confiscated the priceless item.

"This will belong to the Church of Ireland," he said.

"What about the Catholic church?" asked Father. "That is a Catholic reliquary!"

"What part of 'Church of Ireland' do you not understand?"

Father scowled.

"Will we get any of the treasure from the wreck?" asked Roma.

"You'll get your share. Plus you will get great thanks from the Primate."

"The Primate...?"

The Captain sighed. He'd have to explain this all again. "There are two Primates, that is, two heads of the Church of Ireland: the 'Primate of Ireland' and the 'Primate of All Ireland'. The former is the Archbishop of Dublin who is His Grace Adam Loftus. That latter, the superior of the two, is the Archbishop of Armagh who is His Grace Henry Ussher."

[ Queue monkey jokes ]

Father O'Reilly's side-kick

Sat, 12*-Apr-1603, Spring

The brigantine Lūpukrāsas Slampa ("Painted Lady") of Riga (Latvia) docked in Baltimore harbour. [Baltimore, USA, took its name from this place].  Among the crew taking shore leave were two fellows, Elrick Youngson [Ian], sailor, from Oslo then Riga, and Roma Freeley [Chris], pikey, from Rotterdam. On the docks, they went through the cursory Customs and Excise inspection. One of the Customs soldiers was a Private Art Bowman [Jeff]. Art took an immediate liking to Roma who was exploiting his pikey charm.

[ * = dates use Gregorian calendar, because my moon tables are in Gregorian. To convert to Julian, which Ireland was using at this time, until 1752, subtract ten days. So this day is 2nd April 1603. ]

Sun 13-Apr

After taking mass at St Mary under-the-wagon, Deacon Father O'Reilly [Shane] headed to his favourite post-mass Sunday location, the Waterfront Inn.

The deacon's parents' surname was O'Reilly, and, not being too bright, they named him "Father" after his uncle, a priest. This was made more confusing since that very uncle was the parish priest that Father worked under, another O'Reilly, and the uncle was a genuine Father. So, the good church of St Mary had a priest called Father O'Reilly and a deacon called Deacon Father O'Reilly. ("Deacon" being a father-in-training.) Of course, when the deacon would be fully ordained, he would then be Father Father O'Reilly.

In the inn, Father met with his childhood friend, Art Bowman. Elrick and Roma arrived too and joined the drinking buddies. Ale all round.
Father did not have a very good constitution, and although he loved ale (in fact, any alcoholic beverage), he could not drink much before he became sick. So the usual Sunday morning ensued with Father drinking too much, slurring his words, making a disturbance, and voiding his bladder.

A little while later, the genuine Father O'Reilly arrived. This was also the normal Sunday occurrence, where the the Father would take the ill Father home. But today, he arrived with another older fellow in tow. He was introduced to the group as Todd Unctuous. Todd was in his early sixties, and was from Dublin, or was it Cork? They weren't sure. Father O'Reilly arranged for Todd to chaperone the drunken deacon. Todd had good knowledge of Catholic doctrine, and a cast-iron constitution, so he could pass as a tutor for Father, and could bodily carry the sickly drunk home, if necessary.

While this was going on, Roma overheard a bunch of sailors at the adjacent table. They were from the other ship that was docked in the harbour (next to the Painted Lady), a British warship, the HMS Dreadful, a brig. The sailors were talking about a wreck that they had passed yesterday during the trip along the coast - off Long Island, an island eight Irish miles* to the west. The moon was new, so there were very large king tides; maybe that explained the recent observance of the wreck.

[ * = An Irish mile is 8 Irish furlongs, or 320 Irish linear perches**, or exactly 14/11 English miles, or a fraction over two kilometres.

** = perches are normally units of area (there being 160 perches to an acre; yes, the Irish acre was different to the English acre), but the Irish had a "linear perch" which was 7 yards, c.f. the English "rod" which was 5.5 yards. And one square rod was called a "perch"***. Thems were the days.

*** = not to be mistaken for the small stripey freshwater fish. ]

Roma "found out" that there was a dying man living on Long Island and that he needed an emergency Last Rites performed (else he would die unconfessed). So Father O'Reilly told Todd to get Deacon Father O'Reilly over to Long Island by any means necessary ("a man's mortal soul is in jeopardy"; "jeu parti" a lost game). Roma and Elrick managed to convince their boss (Captain Galvenā-Krastmala of the Painted Lady) to borrow a skiff "for three days". And Art convinced his immediate barracks commander, Lieutenant Matthews, that he would be required to travel with the group to give them martial protection, for three days. Art suggest they bring his other friend "Ab" Siddy [Darryl], as he had some unique skills which might help the group.

The skiff was sailed by Elrick, who had significant boating skills, with the rest of the group: Roma, Art, Ab, Father and Todd, forming the crew. They got to Lamb Island, just past halfway, by dark.
The island was a wooded and uninhabited island, so they pulled the skiff up the beach, and started a large fire from driftwood. Todd cooked a meal, which was pretty mediocre, and they settled down for the night.

Around midnight, Roma, on second watch, heard some movement in the woods just off the beach. He woke everyone up and went to investigate with his cat-like tread. In the woods, he espied a figure, a nude figure of a young woman, crouched down, watching the group. Her skin glowed, as if shone by moonlight, but there was no moon. Roma crept close to her, but she suddenly noticed him, gave a squeal, and then waved her hands. A red bolt of light shot out at him, he ducked, and it singed his cheek with a searing pain. Then the woman dropped something, scampered off and disappeared behind a tree. Roma called the group in and they searched; no trace. He recovered the object she had dropped. It was a small basket, size of a fist, filled with fine sand. The sand also glowed faintly.

The group investigated the sand. Father knew a few churchy blessings, wards and things, so he got out his kit and performed those rituals, but it had no effect. Art sniffed the sand deeply. Todd did too.

"Smells like sand," Todd said blankly. He then dipped his finger in it and tasted it. "Pah. Tastes like sand too."

Roma wrapped the sand basket up tightly and put it in the skiff.

Suddenly, Todd started to cough. It sounded like the retching noise a cat makes when coughing up a fur-ball. He was given water, both holy and mundane, and some communion wine, but that didn't help. If anything, it made the coughing worse. His coughing got louder and more violent. Blood started to spatter out of his mouth and nose, and, what looked like his epiglottis, only bigger, was being coughed out too, in long stringy tendrils. But when he gasped air between coughs, he would suck it all back in. Each time he coughed now, the tendrils and bits of meat and mucous membrane got longer and longer. They were glistening and fleshy, like the inside of his mouth and throat. This progressed for the next quarter hour, and as time passed, more and more glistening membrane and viscera was coughed out. It looked like stomach, then intestines and then liver, and it was large enough now to touch the sandy beach. Great gasping coughs, but it was all sucked back in between coughs.

Between bouts, Roma helped Todd onto the skiff and pushed it off the beach, while Todd crouched within on all fours, doing his violent coughs. By now, it looked like he was coughing out his lungs, heart (happily pumping), and even his bowels. In fact, there was more of Todd coughed out than what was left in him. But each inward gasp would still drag it all back in again. Finally, there was an almighty explosive COUGH, which echoed around the bay, followed by a wet splodge. And then silence. Todd was nowhere to be seen, so Roma peered into the skiff. There was a naked girl, in her late teens, lying unconscious in the boat, glistening with the various body fluids of Todd  (sweat, blood, lymph, bile, interstitial fluid, chyle and saliva). Todd's clothes were in a heap next to her.

Roma brought the boat in, and the group gently lifted her out and lay her next to the fire. She was totally unresponsive, and even prying her eyelids open revealed non-reactive eyes. She was breathing softly. Roma searched through Todd's clothing and gear, but could find no trace of him; apart from the foul blasphemy of his soiled underpants, which they burned.

The girl's eyes suddenly sprang open and she sat up.
"What's goin' on here, then?" she said, matter-of-factly, and then glanced down and screamed.
"What happened to me?!" she shrieked. "What are these?" grabbing her breasts.
Then she grabbed at her groin, yelling hystrically "Where is it?!"

"Todd?" said Father.
She looked at him.
"What happened to me?!" she yelled.
"Must've been the sand," said Art wisely. "You shouldn't have licked it."
"Maybe try eating some more sand?" ventured Roma. "Might turn you back."
"No!" said Father.

Having a naked girl in the group, proved to be a distraction (esp Roma, who had an unhealthy-cum-psychotic interest in the fairer sex), so they draped her best they could in Todd's ill-fitting clothes, then tucked her in for the night.

Mon 14-Apr

The rest of the night passed peacefully.

"Todd," said Father in the morning. "You need a new name. I vote 'Tess'. Tess of the d'Urbervilles."
"To be sure," said Tess.

Roma had thought up a story to explain this whole Todd fiasco for when they returned to Baltimore. If word got out that some sidhe* magic had changed Todd to Tess, she'd be burned as a witch, and most likely the rest of the group too.

[ * = sidhe pronounced "she" is the faeries, the fae. ]

So, here was the story, which they all learned by rote:

1. A handful foul Ottoman* raiders attacked us on Lamb Is.
2. We bravely fought them off. They sailed away.
3. Poor Todd was killed in the skirmish. We gave him a Christian burial on the beach on Lamb Is.
4. The raiders had a fair maiden captive with them, whom we rescued. She had been abused by their foul Ottoman hands so much so that the trauma caused amnesia. She could not even remember her own name, so we called her Tess.

[ * = "... out of Constantinople, headed to sack Venice, but turned left at the Adriatic and ended up .. um... in Ireland?" ]

After this, they packed up and disembarked on the skiff.

After a few hours, Elrick cast his weather-eye to the west and did not like the look of the gun-metal clouds and towering thunderheads. So he made for the closest island, Horse Island. There was already a big swell, and this trip was pretty violent. Everyone except Elrick was horribly sea sick. But, Elrick got them there safely, and, as they were pulling the skiff up the beach, the storm proper arrived.

Horse Island was inhabited, so the group pushed their way through the icy driving rain to a farm house. The occupants were very welcoming, and when they realized a cleric was with them, even more so.

The locals all asked for to make confessions, so Father spent the rest of the rainy day taking confessions and issuing penance.

Tess was given some proper women's clothing

The group were given a slap-up meal, and the best beds for the night.

Tue 15-Apr

After a horrible stormy night, the next morning dawned clear and calm.

The group said their good-byes to the Horse Islanders, and they made for Long Is. under the careful command of Elrick using his best boatmanship. This would take about five hours.

Long island was about an Irish mile long and maybe 1/4 mile wide. They assumed the wreck site would be on the southern side, that being where the sailors of the HMS Dreadful could see it. The tides were still large, and it would be about mid-tide when they got there.

However, off in the distance was another larger ship, at anchor, with no flags up.

"Pirates!" spat Art. Everyone agreed.

It had just disembarked its own jolly boat to the island with 6-plus fellows aboard. Elrick changed course to pass on the North side of Long Is (the pirates were on the SW side). They beached their boat, pulled it into the woods (that covered the entire island), and headed to the high point on foot.

They got to the high point easily, but the forest covered everything, so it afforded no view. As they were deciding what to do, they heard noisy movement approaching, and sharp foul foreign tongue. So, they dug in and planned an ambush.

Three onion-and-garlic-reeking foreigners arrived, and a fight ensued. They were armed with match-locks and swords. One managed to get a shot off, but the musket ball whistled past Art's ear. The battle dragged on for ages [ because I was doing Fudge combat wrong ], but the party prevailed and downed the three. Roma took a nasty wound.

There were at least three more foreigners. And they would have heard the gun shot, and heard the screams of battle. What would they do? What will the group do next?

Introduction

Welcome to 1603. Baltimore, County of Cork, Southern Ireland.

QE 1

Hated Queen Elizabeth 1 has just died, and has been replaced by James 1st who has a slightly kinder predisposition towards the Irish. The Nine years war has just finished ending the uprising of the Irish Earls. England has a firm foothold in Ireland with the English holding all important positions in both country and town.

“Plantations” have started. This involves the confiscation of Irish ancestral land by the English crown and the colonization of this land with settlers from Britain.

Fifteen years ago (1588), the Spanish Armada’s failed invasion of England resulted in the wrecking of 24 of its 130 ships along the west coast of Ireland. Any surviving spaniards (and any Irish who dared to harbour them), were summarily rounded up and hanged by the English troops stationed in Ireland. Even now, the Irish are still finding the occasional piece of loot from these wrecks.

The plague pops up now and again all over Europe. Ireland is not exempt from this.

Shakespeare in full flight, writing his plays and sonnets, and will so for another 13 years.

Snaphance (pre-flintlock)

Soldiers are now armed with long muskets (carbines and rifles) instead of bow and sword. Short-barrelled muskets (“pistols”) are very rare. The flintlock has yet to be invented. They have the snaplock and the snaphance (an early flintlock) as well as the expensive (but very reliable) wheel-lock, and the mundane match-lock. The paper cartridge is the latest thing: a slug of gunpowder pre-wrapped, ready to be rammed.

Armour has reached its zenith, using excellent high-carbon metallurgy to make suits that will turn any blade. But a full suit of this plate costs a king’s ransom.

Witchcraft is rife throughout Europe, but strangely, not in Ireland. Maybe this is because fae magic abounds. In the woods and forests, and in the wilderness, live the sidhe (“she”), the fairy-folk, waiting to ensorcel the unwary traveller and bewitch him.

This is countered by the Church and her miracles. Most of Europe is still Roman Catholic, but it’s been almost a century since Martin Luther was excommunicated, and Protestantism has been growing since. Henry VIII started the (Anglican) Church of England sixty years ago, and the Church of Ireland soon after. However, Roman Catholicism still has a strong-hold in Ireland, and the Irish-speaking majority tend be faithful to the Latin liturgy. The English-speaking minority adhere to the Church of Ireland (Presbyterianism with Calvinist doctrine).

Much of the diet still revolves around dairy; people drank milk and buttermilk, ate fresh curds, and mixed whey with water to make a sour drink called “blaand.” Butter is flavoured with onion and garlic and buried it in bogs for storage (and flavour!).

The other primary food was grain, mostly oats, which was made into oatcakes and pottages (oat stew). Wheat, which was not easy to grow in Ireland (too wet), was mostly eaten by the rich. People supplemented their grains and milk with occasional meat and fish; grew cabbages, onions, garlic, and parsnips; and ate wild greens.  People still avoided uncooked fruit and vegetables, believing them to carry disease. Indeed, during the last London plague 34 years ago (1569) it was illegal to sell fresh fruit. Though, this fear is now starting to wane, and we’re seeing oranges, lemons, quinces, apricots and melons (imported from Southern Europe).

Potatoes, and tomatoes, from the New World, are now being grown locally and just starting to be cheap enough to be used as food.

Other new foods have arrived from the New World, still expensive, include kidney beans, maize, Indian corn, chocolate, peanuts, vanilla, pineapples, French beans, red and green peppers, turkeys and tapioca.

And there is an ever-increasing appetite for sugar from sugar cane (imported from territories in the West and East Indies as well as from Morocco and Barbary). Sugar is used for anything from dressing vegetables and preserving fruit to the concoction of medical remedies. But it’s still costly.

So too was tobacco; expensive and rare.

Tea and coffee have another fifty years before they arrive.

Plenty of alcohol, however. Beers, ales, and the stronger whiskey (with an “e”)

(Gaelic “uisce beatha”, meaning “water of life”.) Whiskey wasn’t aged at this time so it was rough as guts (whiskey aging did not start until the Bushmills distillery opens in North Ireland in five years’ time).

Wine is locally made too. In fact, there have been vineyards around Cork since 450 AD.

No Guinness for another 170 years.

Job Interview

Wednesday evening, July 23, 2014

Theo had headed into town because he thought that Ebony was to arrange the destruction of the cursed rings (that he and she were wearing). But no; Ebony sent him a quick text that the deal had fallen through. Vampire Defacto wanted to replace Vampire Oberon's ghoul rings with his own version of jewellery. So Theo turned the taxi around, and headed out.

Ebony was summoned to Oberon for a progress report. She managed to convince him that she didn't need the anti-ghoul ring, and that she could infiltrate Defacto better if not so encumbered.

After a bit of thought, Oberon was convinced, and duly pulled the ring off her finger.

Theo, had by now destroyed his phone - his new paranoid habit each day - so never got the chance to rid himself of his ring.

However, according to Ms Anderson, Oberon's PA, her master was getting more and more annoyed at Theo's reluctance to report in.

Thursday morning, July 24

Sledge had spent an exhausting night swotting up on politics. He had heard from Colleen that a high political knowledge was a useful requisite for him to have for the job interview (STRIKE FORCE Philadelphia Area Commander, vacated by Lieutenant Prospero) tomorrow.

When he awoke, he rose feeling ever-so knowledgeable. [ Shane spent experience to get Politics 1. ]

Thursday mid-morning, July 24

Not content with a bit of political knowledge, Sledge wanted more. He knew that Witch Cello could help him magically, so made a booking with her.

Cello sat him down on a chair, and then started her chant of political minutiae; obscure ramblings on UK and USA politics. Sledge drifted off into a restless, haunted sleep.

When he woke up, he had even more political knowledge and acumen. [ Shane spent more experience points to get Politics 2. ]

Thursday afternoon, July 24

The party was in STRIKE FORCE HQ. Alan Cumming's team, the Geist Squad arrived. The Geist Squad was the other team of hunters operating in Philadelphia. Lieutenant Prospero introduced them to the group.

• Alan Cummings: Natural leader of the Geist Squad. Was good with guns and rifles. Hated ghosts.
• Brian Hart: Dexterous and good with throwing and missiles. An Ebony analogue. Hated ghosts.
• Charis  Denton: Shotguns. Hated fae.
• Dennis Trevino: Brains of the group. Investigation. Medicine. Occult. A Jacob analogue. Hated mages.
• Edgar Willis: Big strong melee fighter. Hated demons.

Charis Denton

Alan Cummings

Brian Hart

Dennis Trevino

Edgar Willis

They had been a few hours north of Philadelphia fighting ghosts in a haunted house. In fact, they had two ghosts trapped in a "fish tank" - an enchanted ghost containment vessel. It looked like a glass fish tank, about 400 by 300 by 300 mm, with swirly moving mist inside.

Lieutenant Prospero decided that the captive ghosts should be destroyed, so everyone, from both groups, assembled themselves on the firing range, all equipped with etheric (anti-ghost) rounds. Some see-etheric gas was released, and the contained ghosts were let out.

The angry ghosts shot skyward, and both parties opened up, filling them full of etheric rounds. They don't last long and were destroyed.

[ As far as Morality was concerned, this was considered a "legal execution". Although sentient, the ghosts had committed evil acts, and they had been duly judged by a STRIKE FORCE leader. So no-one suffered a Morality hit. Even though it was like shooting rats in a barrel. ]

Thursday night, July 24

Sledge knew that empathy was another trait looked for by the appointments committee, so he started working on his Empathy. Swotting away late into the night.

Ebony was contacted by Ms Anderson again. She implored Ebony to get Theo to come in. As it was after dark, Theo had destroyed his SIM card again, so she had no way to contact him anyway. Not that she thought it would be any help.

Friday morning, July 25

Sledge woke up feeling refreshed. And empathetic. [ Shane spent more experience to get Empathy 1 ]

Friday late morning, July 25

The job interviews went ahead

Sledge went first. The appointments committee consisted of Ms Elgin and Lance Corporal Bolger from STRIKE FORCE New York, and Lieutenant Prospero (soon to be Captain).

Colleen had told Sledge that the appointments committee would be Chalet and Albus. She had made an educated guess, but turned out to be wrong. Sledge did not realize this at the time of his interview, so he tried to ingratiate himself into their good books by pretending to hate fae and the created (Chalet and Albus's hated). They were not impressed, and Prospero knew that Sledge hated werewolves (and not fae nor the created), so he was not impressed himself.

Then they moved on to a series of questions about the STRIKE FORCE constitution. Sledge kept saying that he'd delegate such minutiae to his staff.

After this, they went over his experience, and then talked about goals and the "where do you see yourself in five years" type questions, and usual interview fare.

Reginald's interview was next.

His knowledge of the Constitution was impressive, and he only failed on one of the constitution questions, but it was on an obscure article from the early days of STRIKE FORCE about how many muskets you can put into a hand-cart.

The appointments committee was a bit worried about Reggie's pedantry and attention to details and minutiae.

Then followed Detective Trisha Noble, and finally Alan Cummings.

Friday noon, July 25

Sledge and Detective Noble made the short short-list, and were both called in.

Friday afternoon, July 25

The appointments committee brought all four applicants in. They congratulated everyone on the high calibre of their resumes. And they then announced the new STRIKE FORCE commander of Philadelphia. Trisha Noble.

[ This was all rolled out. Sledge had 24 dice in his pool, Trisha had 22. Reggie had 16 and Alan 14. Reggie and Alan were soon out of the race, leaving Sledge and Trisha. But she lucked out, and beat Sledge across the line. ]

Detective Noble was to start immediately, and she was promoted to Second Lieutenant on the spot. She would become First Lieutenant when she passed a few more tests [ spent experience to raise her STRIKE FORCE merit to 5 ]

Sledge, Reggie, and Alan Cummings were warmly thanked for their efforts.

Second Lieutenant Noble then called the entire party for a STRIKE FORCE meeting.

"I plan to run your group as before," she said. "There will not be many changes. But two things I want to change: I want you to choose a leader for your group. You are currently a homogeneous mass of like-minds and it is harder to focus you like this. I want you to choose or elect a leader of your group. Give yourself a catchy name too. I find a hint of irony goes down well here."

"Secondly," she said. "What do we do about Theo? Staying out side of Philadelphia, he is next to useless. I know he had a run-in with Oberon, but I can not believe it is as serious as he makes out. I want you lot to resolve this problem."

They all nodded wanly.

Sledge asked about his wedding, and if anything could change re STRIKE FORCE protection. But Second Lieutenant Noble shook her head.

"Lieutenant... I mean Captain Prospero has arranged SWAT and a squad of uniformed officers to cover ground for your wedding. I fully support this action.

"And your Jacob has worked out a successful mix of diesel and rubber to burn in 44-gallon drums to make a smoke screen to shield your group from snipers."

Friday sunset, July 25

Ms Anderson phoned Ebony, and reminded her of her commitment to infiltrate Defacto. So she went to Defacto's base under the cancer hospital.

Defacto told Ebony about a new crowd in town, some werewolves, in the south-west (his area), and he wanted them investigated.

"We happen to know that they will be at a party tonight, on the New Jersey," Defacto said. "Show me how good your sneak skills are. Go and bug them."
,
The USS New Jersey was a WW2 Iowa class battleship, now a tourist site cum museum, and was moored in the Delaware river, in central Philadelphia.

Ms Reynold gave Ebony a special bug to plant. It was a hybrid; a mix of magic and technology.

Friday late evening, July 25

USS New Jersey in Philadelphia

Ebony, Reggie, Jacob and Sledge turned up at the New Jersey. Security was tight: there were vans labelled "Isaac's Security" about, and many uniformed security officers. Jacob used his Gem of the Veil, and sure enough, the Isaac's security staff were werewolves. A quick search on the net revealed Isaac's base was in the south-west of the city; so this was the crowd Defacto was interested in.

Reggie and Jacob stayed on the docks with the vehicle, while Ebony and Sledge fast-talked their way onto the battleship.

Mage Nonce was hosting the party and had booked the whole ship. Ebony managed to fast-talk herself and Sledge on board. While Ebony schmoozed herself with party guests, Sledge snuck down to the forward hold meeting room and planted Defacto's bug. Mage Nonce was in the meeting room with Werewolf Isaac (in human form) talking on things veil.

Mage Nonce

Interestingly enough, at that very moment, Ebony was dancing with Mage Nonce up on deck. Somehow he had two versions of himself running.

The party went on to very late. There were more gorgeous girls (human) here than you could shake a stick at. Ebony hooked up with one or three, and found a quiet cabin.

Sledge was propositioned many times by the gorgeous creatures in their low-cut straining tops, high skirt-hems, and even higher heels, but he was a good boy and kept saying he was keeping himself for his fiancee; the wedding being on Tuesday. The ladies thought this was very sweet, and thus redoubled their efforts.

Sledge consoled himself at the open bar, with his mates Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Bud Weiser and Tom Collins.

Friday midnight, July 25

Sick of waiting and now bored, Reggie and Jacob repeatedly tried to ring Ebony and Sledge to return to the car so they could make their exit. But their pleas were ignored: Sledge was too drunk to comprehend what that noise his phone made meant, and Ebony was indisposed elsewhere, so, in a fit of pique, Reggie & Jacob headed home (to Reggie's safe-house).

Saturday very early, July 26

Sledge, by now, was utterly trolleyed. Ebony extracted him from a pool of his own vomit, and helped him back to the car ... but the car wasn't there of course. So they got a taxi. And had to pay the soiling fee - Sledge was sick in it.

Back at the Elfrith Alley apartment, Mina was there.

"Gosh," she smiled. "Look at you two... had a nice night?"

Ebony nodded. Sledge started to retch again.

"You will feel crap in the morning," she said. "I can fix you, now. Shall I?"

Sledge looked up bleary-eyed, blinked, then nodded.

Mina cut her own wrist and dribbled her blood into his mouth.

No sooner had he swallowed than he was sober again. Like a switch: from drunk to sober in less than a second.

"Damn!" cursed the sober Sledge. "Damn! I feel nothing!"

Mina chuckled.

He still stank of vomit and urine, so he had a shower.

Saturday early hours, July 26

Clean and in clean attire, Sledge wanted the drunk buzz again, so he and Ebony hit the bars. With vampire blood still fresh in him, the alcohol's effect was severely lessened; like by a factor of ten. Sledge won all the drinking games he entered, but all he received for his exploits was a bunch of fives; several bunches of fives. Maybe it was his incessant gloating and his lack of grace in victory.

They got home (the Elfrith Alley apartment) around dawn.

Saturday morning, July 26

The party met up again in STRIKE FORCE. Although Sledge's heavy drinking didn't get him drunk, the other alcohol effects were there. He reeked of bourbon, Victory gin, cheap sherry and stale beer. And his breath was rather potent.

Second Lieutenant Noble called them to order.