Present:
- Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
- Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
- Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
- Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
- Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
- MARMALADING Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
- MARMALADING Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
- Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
- Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
- Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl
by Jeff
Dead. They were all dead. The farmer, his children, his wife, and his killers!
The party had happened upon a group of brigands shortly after their attack on a farm and attempted to intervene. Unfortunately for the farm's resident family, the party were too late but did manage to kill all the brigands. There were no survivors.
The bodies were dragged out from the farmhouse and sorted.
The brigands went into one heap, to be looted, beheaded, and unceremoniously burnt, with the heads mounted on stakes along the driveway, as a message to any others thinking to raid unprotected farmers.
"Justice has been served!" stated Ezme.
The farmer's family were laid gently aside, in preparation for an appropriate ceremony and "burial".
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| Super Fosfait |
"Best give them back to the earth then, to continue the Glorious Cycle" declared Cody.
So, they were buried in the large compost heap around the back of the farmhouse. Willow said a few words, and a few tears were shed. Just a few mind.
Then the party headed back inside the house, to secure valuables and spend the night.
No magical items were detected, but Cody did locate a copy of a property title that listed Mr Wilder, Farmer, as a 50% shareholder in the Sultry Broccoli, one of the two Inns in Littleton. Littleton was just a little further down the coast and we would be passing through there on the next day's travel. We had expected to arrive in Littleton that night but dealing to the raiding brigands had delayed us somewhat, so we would be passing through the next morning and turning inland towards Morganmine itself.
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| The trip to Morganmine |
Morganmine was a small mining town established centrally between a handful of rich mines up in the Spine Mountains, about four days travel up the Morgan river from Littleton. This was our destination.
We wanted to question the mine manager of one of the mines there, Klib mine.
Klib mine was owned by the late Viscount Vincent de Thoak, and we were investigating his death.
"Find out who killed Vincent, and why!" were our instructions from Thespian, our newly appointed patron from the Porn City Wizard's Guild. Newly appointed due to the sudden death of Ania, the previous patron, who had inexplicably died with the same symptoms as Vincent, after receiving the magical spearhead, from our very own hands!
Apparently, this magical spearhead, the supposed murder weapon, had been given to Vincent as "a gift from Igor".
And the only Igor we could find with any association with Vincent, was the mine manager of Kilb mine at Morganmine.
So off we had set.
And now onward we continued.
Of course, the day was overcast, with the familiar damp drizzle so common around the Porn Plains.
But it was only an hour later that we trudged into Littleton.
Ezme headed straight to the Militia Guard office to report the raid and the deaths of the Wilders.
They told her not to leave town until they had been to investigate, so we hired rooms in the Sultry Broccoli (of course) and settled in for the day and night. The place was pretty quiet, until later in the day when it started to full up with noisy farmers, merchants, and riffraff. All in all, it was an uneventful day followed by an uneventful night.
Kippy got drunk, Munch got into arguments, Cody was shunned, and Ezme was drooled over. Same same!
The next day we were given the all clear by the militia, and we set of for Morganmine.
The first day was through the low plains and farmlands alongside the river.
There was a reasonable quantity of traffic on the road, in both directions.
Ezme couldn't ride on the cart due to her travel sickness, so she walked.
We were travelling at quite a slow pace, but the waystations were spaced for a walking pace, and we anticipated arriving at the waystation just before dark. About an hour before dark, Munch suddenly stopped.
"Where is me dagger?" he yelled.
He dropped to the ground and hunted through his backpack, tossing stuff everywhere.
"I only just got it" he grumbled, "and now it's lost?"
"When did you have it last?" asked Cody sensibly.
"I definitely had it this morning" Munch replied, his face screwed up in concentration.
"Yes", he continued, "I had it just after breakfast and before we left the Sultry Broccoli."
"So then", suggested Cody, "sometime today on the road then."
Willow volunteered to turn into a sharp-eyed eagle and scout back along the road a way, which Munch gratefully accepted. But Willow didn't see any daggers on the road, or any suspicious activity on the road behind us either.
After arriving at the waystation, a glorified camping ground, Cody cast a Detect Magic to see if the dagger had somehow got hidden anywhere in the party gear. But no, nothing. [This was Darryl's newly obtained magic dagger of Armour Avoidance and so was a pretty valuable item]
The night passed very peaceably, our camp just one among a bunch of other travellers. The next morning we set off on the second day of four in the journey up to Morganmine. The terrain was starting to climb a little now, the plains alongside the river tipping upward into gentle rolling hills, still covered with farms and occasional hamlets. The river had changed from its previous wide and slow flowing form to something with a little more current.
About three hours into the days trip, Kippy, who was in out front of the party on point, spotted a wagon tipped down on its side a little way ahead. There were two attractive women staring dismally at the wagon, which had lost one of its wheels and had ploughed down into the road.
Kippy, with a lecherous grin and a wink, offered his "assistance". [Kippy has the character Fault of being a Lecher, he just can't help himself, and despite his ridiculously low APP(earance) requisite of just 8, always seems to think that every woman should just fall at his feet, and "suck me baby" as he puts it. It never works of course]
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| Kippy's skirmish |
And it didn't work today either. In fact, he made an ass of himself as usual, antagonized both the women, triggered a skirmish with them, and took a stab wound in the side from one of the women. Fortunately, Willow managed to calm the situation, despite Cody attempting (and failing) to cast a Sleep spell on the woman, which triggered her companion to send a throwing dagger flying through the air and into Cody's chest (dealing six points of damage).
It could have gone extremely wrong, but Tom yelled at everyone to "STOP, calm the f-down" in his extremely Intimidating way, and everyone did!
[Jeff rolled a critical success on his Intimidate skill]
Jack also kicked Kippy in the groin, which cooled his ardour a little!
Tom and Jack lent their "muscle" to lift the wagon, while Willow slipped the wheel back in place and secured with his amazing wainwright skills [Chris's Build/Repair skill is 14, pretty much a natural!]
The women hurried off ahead of us.
"Don't think this is over" one yelled back, "Our dad is in the Town Guard"
At the next waystation, we spotted the women's wagon again, and the women, hanging around a couple of guards there. We kept our distance. Except for Munch, who marched up to the guards and reported that someone had stolen a very valuable item from him.
"Tell someone who cares" they scoffed.
Kippy was still nursing a sore groin, so he was happy to leave the women be.
We posted watches overnight of course, but the night passed peacefully.
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| Oswald the gnome |
Cody, however, is always friendly to others. He stepped up and conversed with the Gnome. It turned out that this was Oswald, "The Surgeon", a relatively well-known character in the regions hereabouts. He rambled on to Cody for some time and even asked for a ride on the wagon. He complained that his short legs meant that he has to take twice as many steps as everyone else to get anywhere. Cody of course offered Oswald a ride.
Grim muttered rudely and jumped off the wagon, joining Ezme at the rear.
Turns out that Oswald was named The Surgeon because he was the ultimate "fixer". If you had a problem, Oswald would fix it for you.
"Ha" Cody chuckled, "Bet you can't fix this" as he flicked a few ticks off his head.
Oswald looked Cody over, gave a wave of his hand, and suddenly every flea, lice, tick, and worm leapt from Cody's body and was left in the dust of the road.
"Won't last of course" noted Oswald at Cody's stunned expression, "But you're welcome"
"Do you know of Igor then?" asked Cody.
"Of course, he's a pit crew boss up in the Klib Mine" Oswald replied.
"He's a bit of a Potato Queen" noted Oswald, "He's tough, but fair though"
"The Klib is a gold mine" he noted, "There be gold in them thar hills!"
Oswald rambled on continuously as we made our way to the next waystation
Arriving at the waystation that evening, Kippy pointed out that the two women and their wagon was also camped up there for the night. "Maybe I'll go and say hello" he leered.
"Those two are trouble" noted Oswald, "Elima and Mila Ulricsdotter, the daughters of the Morganmine town leader, Ulric. Don't be fooled by their good looks and apparent sweet nature. Definitely trouble, they would cut you up rather than kiss you!"
Kippy decided to leave them alone, but did kept glancing over in their direction, and drooling.
That night was another quiet one, and the next day we continued on.
Oswald rode on the wagon with us again. Grim walked behind with Ezme again.
With another wave of his hand, Oswald cleared off Cody's fleas, lice's, ticks, and worms again.
Oswald kept up a constant running monologue for most of the day, with the odd input from both Cody and Willow. Willow seemed to hit it off reasonably well with Oswald, likely because they are both non-human; Willow being of half-elven extraction.
We rolled into Morganmine just before night and took rooms at the Iron Banjo. Willow wasn't impressed with any of the four Inn's and gratefully accepted Oswald's offer to stay with him at his place. Yes, Oswald has his own place in Morganmine!
There must be a lot that needs "fixing" up here, I guess.
Once at Oswald's house, Willow did notice however, that Oswald had a Holy Symbol of Leprous By-Blow which worried him somewhat.
"Isn't Leprous kind of Evil?" Willow asked Oswald.
"That's just a misunderstanding" Oswald replied,
"My god only inflicts on those whom deserve it"
"My god only inflicts on those whom deserve it"
"Oh" muttered Willow hesitatingly, "I guess that's ... OK then"
Willow's sleep that night was rather restless and he jerked awake a few times with uneasy feelings.
But morning eventually dawned and he was fine.
After settling in, the investigations began.
Cody sidled up to the barkeep and opened his mouth to inquire about Igor.
"F' off you ugly twerk" the barkeep instructed.
Kippy approached a random woman on the street and asked about the mines and the mine crews. He got some good intel, including a comment about Ulric. Remember him?
"Ulric rules here with a heavy fist, so don't get on his bad side!"
"Oh" muttered Kippy, deciding that a trip to Flora's, the only brothel in town, was now required.
Munch headed off to talk to Ulric about possible work.
"No, F' off" Ulric barked.
So, Munch then tried the Klib mine office where he actually spoke to Igor and got himself hired as an assistant kitchenhand in the mine office kitchen/mess hall.
Jack parked himself in the bar and gossiped with all the drinkers, mostly miners, singling out those that worked in the Klib mine. He got a recommendation from Robbo who said there was plenty of work opportunities in the Klib mine.
"But" Robbo added, "Don't get a job in the kitchens. The boss is a real prick!"
Willow offered his services to Igor as a general repairer of broken and damaged things and was hired immediately.
Cody also offered his services but was declined.
"F' off you ugly bastard" shouted Igor.
"Well" responded Cody, "F you too you fat cunt"
Whereupon Cody was chased from the premises by Igor and his giant club.
Willow later told Cody that the previous cleric who worked for Igor had been killed, after Igor lost his temper with him and "accidentally" hit him with his club.
Munch started on his kitchen duties shift, but very soon determined that Igor swung the other way and decided that "his lovely soft and soapy dish washing hands" weren't going anywhere near Igor and never returned after going out for a smoke break.
Setting up in a nearby hide, Munch staked out the mine office and planned to follow Igor back to his house once his working day had finished. This proved to be a successful plan, and when Igor, accompanied by a young lad who had also been working in the kitchens that morning, left the office just after nightfall, Munch trailed them through the town to an old ramshackle house. Someone swung the door open from the inside when Igor approached, and a large wolfhound bounded happily out and rubbed against Igor's legs. Igor gave him a pat and they all went back inside. "Damn" thought Munch, "A frigging dog thing"
Reporting back to the party, Munch described the location of Igor's house, and it was decided that a watch would be maintained over it for the next day or so. Kippy and Munch were assigned that duty, and they took turns watching Igor's place. They spotted a petite wiry fellow who took the wolfhound out for regular walks around the town, taking about a half hour. This occurred a couple of times, and it was planned that Cody would slip into the house and search it thoroughly the next time the dog was out on its walk.
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| Cody the un-stealthy |
A few hours later, Pedro Gilmore (that was the fellow's name apparently) and the dog left the house. Cody was sent forward; Kippy and Munch keeping a look out. As Cody slipped around towards the back of the house a shout rang out. "OY. What are you doing there?" yelled some rando who just happened to be walking past.
[Andrew failed his Stealth roll, so instead of slipping from shadow to shadow unobtrusively, Cody blundered through the garden in plain sight of the road. Loser!]
Cody rushed off towards the rear of the house and ducked down behind a bush. The rando followed. "OY, I see you, get out of there" he yelled.
[Andrew also failed his Hide spell roll, so was crouched in plain sight behind a thin shrub]
Noting that things were not going to plan, Cody cast a Sleep spell at his pursuer, who immediately dropped to the dirt in the garden. [Finally, a successful roll]
Kippy, who had spotted all the action, slipped out from his hide and rushed over. Cody and Kippy looked at each over over the sleeping body, Kippy raised an eyebrow, Cody shrugged, and the unlucky stranger received the knife. Life is cheap in the mountains!
They dragged the body away from the house and were lucky enough to find a secluded spot nearby where they could hide the body. Munch cleaned up the blood trail.
The plan had failed, Igor's house was not searched, and Pedro and the wolfhound returned.
Everyone returned to the Iron Banjo to regroup.
Ezme received a note from Oswald. "Come to my home. Alone!"
Ezme went. Tom and Kippy followed close behind and hung around a little distance off.
Ezme timidly knocked on Oswald's door.
The door swung open.
In she went.
Oswald ushered Ezme over to a large dining table, set for two, and served up dinner.
Oswald kept up a constant monologue as they dined.
Ezme filed away a few notable snippets of conversation to review with the party later, assuming she got out safely. These included:
"I have solved Cody's current little problem"
"He should be friendly, and if I should ask him something, he should do what I ask"
"Igor is the most racist man alive"
"I've been hired to fix Igor, but don't you worry about that"
"That Pedro is Igor's latest little "bitch""
Ezme did get out safely, after the dinner.
She reported to the party on all Oswald's comments.
Kippy, Tom, Ezme, and Jack decided to front to Igor directly and explain the situation.
That happened the next day, they met with Igor in the mine office and informed him that his employer Vincent has passed away in suspicious circumstances. That they were here investigating his death on behalf of the Wizard's Guild, and that he, Igor, had been implicated as sending the murder weapon as a "gift".
"I don't give no gift to Vincent" Igor declared.
"Someone must be framing me" he mused.
"I still had a soft spot for Vincent" Igor declared, "Even though he had moved on with that black bastard Sebastian. I totally hate him"
Igor also had a bit of a rant about Oswald when asked about him, calling him a "fixer" who was protected on high. He also declared "I hate Barbarians" when asked if he had any dealings with them.
The conclusion of this interview was than Igor didn't appear to have the smarts to plan and execute the obviously complicated murder plan leading to Vincent's death. He didn't have any motive; he wouldn't get any ownership of the gold mine, and he seemed happy enough throwing his weight around in his current role.
"So, what next?" Cody wondered.
"Who hired Oswald to "fix" Igor" mused Willow, "And why?"
"What about Dronk and Spandex, Magnus Digby's two friends back in Porn City?" asked Tom.
"Perhaps they knew who hired Magnus to retrieve the Spear from the Barbarian Plains."
