Tunnels and Tricks

 Present:

• Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
• Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
• Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
• Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
• Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
• Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
• Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
• Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
• Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
• Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl

 

by Andrew

Recap

Porn City dilettante and sybarite, Viscount Vincent Thoak, had recently met a horrible death when he had taken possession of a powerful magical cursed spear-head. An adventurer named Magnus had delivered the spear-head to him.

Magnus was now dead, at the party's hand. 

The trail had led the group to Letchtown. They had identified a local mob boss Otto as the one who had sent Magnus out.

Cody had explored Otto's homely girl-friend's cottage (with Gaseous form) and had discovered an underground area which linked her cottage to Otto's headquarters: a brothel the Broken Virgin.

There were indications that Otto's girl was a wizard.

Investigations

Grim (disguised) and Tom went to Natalia, the local druid and Letchtown gossip.

Natalia told them that Otto's woman is called Emance Apaited - "Otto was very taken by her". She had been in town half a year, and had come from Porn City. She was adamant she wanted that cottage (where Cody explored), so much so that the previous residents hurriedly left town. 

Natalia knew that Otto had four bully-boys and some random functionaries. Natalia thought Otto had falling out with the Porn City Thieves' Guild.

Hoping the Porn City Wizards' knew some more of Emance, Cody sent out a Gnome-post letter to his patron Thespian at the Porn City Wizards' Guild. Using his best WG copper-plate:

Dear Thespian,

So far we have nothing new to report, but as part of our investigations on Otto von Thesburg, we need some more info on Otto's significant other. Do you have any info on a lady called Emance Apaited, out of Porn City, We believe she is a wizard.

Lots of love, 

Cody Dieback, 

Mage Extraordinaire

Emance

Grim the Gardener

Grim disguised himself as a gardener and went to visit Emance's cottage.

She answered the door, accompanied by a big dog.

"I'm in the neighbourhood," said Grim. "I am a master gardener. I noticed that there are some things you could do to improve your garden. I am happy to offer my services or some garden advice."

Emance had an elf accent. Maybe she was a half-elf.

"Je ne not interested," she said "I only rent zis property. And I work at the Broken Virgin. Le jardin ne m'intéresse pas." 

"I don't supposed the landlord would be interested?"

"I doubt it. Merci for offering. Ees very kind of you. Mais non merci."

"Can you give me the name of your landlord?" asked Grim innocently.

"No. What do you call yourself?"

"Jacque."

"You must come from zee Porn City. I heard zere are lots of Jacques... In zee dock area.

I have not been to stay in Porn City myself. Only to pass through it. It is a squalid place."

"Where are you from? You have an elvish accent."

"Do I? I just like to talk zis way."

She was very alluring, and Grim felt quite enamored of her. So he broke out his Seduction moves.

"Perhaps we could meet up?" ventured Grim.

She paused and blinked long.

"Meet me at zee Aroused Druid inn," she said, alluringly.

"I look forward to catching up with you."

"I will see you later at the Aroused Druid."

Grim immediately felt the strong urge to go the Aroused Druid. Here, he hired a room, and began the fiddly job of preparing a suitable boudoir for his date.

New soldiers

These new developments delayed Grim, and he did not return on schedule. So the party sent out an invisible Kippy to look for him.

Kippy reported back - no sign of Grim. But he did see two important-looking chainmail-clad soldiers arrive on fancy horses, from the Porn City road, and pull up outside the Broken Virgin. No livery. Excellent armour and weapons. No bows. 

Kippy had overheard them.

 

"I need to see Otto," ordered one.

 

"Oh, Donrat, do come in." [ Kippy's ears are not so good ]

Emance's cottage

Cody returned to Emance's cottage, and did a Gaseous Form again. 

He floated through the cottage, then downstairs like last time, but this time, he went further: down a long tunnel, guessing he had travelled far enough to be underneath the Broken Virgin. 

Then up some rungs, through a bed chamber, a study, another bedroom with bunks, and here were two sleeping bully boys. He continued down another passage, then through a dog room. Then through a door in the back of a cell adjacent to a Torture room, up some more stairs up. Finally, through a secret door to the outside with two minutes left (Gaseous Form lasts 30 minutes). This came out in the alley next to the Broken Virgin.

Cody headed back to the party's secret warehouse base to report.

Grim's Dilemma

By then, Grim had arrived back under his own steam - still in his Jacque disguise.

"She's sexy lady who is into me" he said, talking about Emance.

The Larch

The group thought he was bewitched.

"We are going to meet up tonight at the Aroused Druid [one of the two remaining unburned inns]. Gonna be a sexy time."

Suspicious, Ardern cast a Detect Charm on Grim. He was indeed charmed. 

Kippy returned to the Broken Virgin to watch Donrat's horses.

After a quarter hour, the two men emerged, and they left in a hurry, back towards Porn City.

"I reckon Donrat is the next part of the chain," suggested Jack.

While Kippy was gone, Grim snuck out, and no-one noticed.

"Oi reckons we better go catch Grim," said Jack. "Else he'll spill the beans."

Grim was back in the Aroused Druid in his boudoir. An inn servant knocked on his door and gave him a note. Grim couldn't read, so he got the servant to read it: 

Dear Jacque, 

I look forward to tonight and our escapades. I particularly look forward to your large engorged aubergine. I have one small difficulty in that my lover is very jealous and will keep an eye on me, and so I will endeavour to be at your room at 7 be'light. If I cannot be there, I apologize and so you must knock on my door, as my gardener, tomorrow morning one bell after light - and we can do some ploughing.  

Forever, your loving E.

Grim ironed and re-ironed the sheets, busying himself for the meeting - only 7 hours now. He wanted the room to be perfect for her.

Cody and Tom visited Grim after dark at 9 be'light (E minus 2). Tom distracted Grim enough to give Cody a chance to cast a Dispel Magic on him. That cured the charm. 

With his mind clear, Grim remembered that Emance was indeed a member of the Porn City Wizards' Guild, and she was very interested in why the party was in Letchtown. He also remembered that he had passed on dangerous information to her: namely that the party was back in town and specifically mentioned Cody, Willow, Kippy, Rock, and Ardern by name.

After losing his Charm, Grim had no interest in staying in his boudoir, so all three left the Aroused Druid, and returned to the party's secret warehouse, making very sure that they weren't followed.

Here, the party hatched a plan to catch Emance if she went to visit Grim alone.

Kippy, hidden, staked out the Broken Virgin. 

Grim, hidden, watched the Aroused Druid. 

Munch, hidden, watched Emance's stone cottage.

At 8 be'light (E minus 1), two bully boys left the Broken Virgin and went to the Aroused Druid. Here, they settled into the bar area.

At 7 be'light, Emance left the Broken Virgin. She arrived at the Aroused Druid and met up with the waiting bully-boys. Here, she sent them both up to Grim's boudoir. 

There was a theory voiced that maybe Emance was a WG plant, and thus she was working with the same goal as the party - an ally? This new discovery put paid to that.

Secret Warehouse

It also proved that Otto knew that the group was back in town.

So, the party hurriedly left their secret warehouse, and left town, carefully checking there was no-one following; Cody did think he saw something. They returned to the old barn for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Cody snuck into town unseen, and went to check the Gnome-post dispatcher. A letter had arrived from Porn City, from his patron Thespian.

To Cody Dieback, c/o Letchtown

Have you found out who was behind Vincent Thoak's murder YET?  

Regarding Emance Apaited, she is a mage from Porn City. Quite powerful. Don't mess with her.

Yours etc.

Thespian Incarnate

If Emance was working on the same mission as the party, surely Thespian would admit it. So this was further proof that Emance wasn't an ally.

 

Plan 'B'

 Present:

• Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
• Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
• Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
• Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
• Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
• MARMALADING Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
• Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
• Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
• Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
• Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl

 by Darryl

Well, the hands of time have ticked forward yet another 7 days, and the fleet feet of fear have run the band out of town into a burnt out barn,  where their beating hearts shudder and gasp at the close shave the group has just had.

 "Well that went well." said someone in the group. Not Munch of course as he staggered and fell to the floor. His wounds were mended but a deep major one still lay below the surface. 

Nor could it have been Esme, Kippy or Cody, all holding their stomachs and dry retching despite the Slow Poisons that had been cast on them. No, we will have to leave the culprit unknown but this is of no matter, the group just from the look in their eyes seemed to all agree, things had not gone to plan, it couldn't have there hadn't been one.

Willow did what he could regarding Slow Poisons and so did others, but they all knew they were very much in a temporary state, Neutralize Poisons were going to be needed in the next 8 to 12 hours and Munch could barely walk. Willow suddenly felt faint and he along with some others fell under the spell of the marmalade curse. [Chris left early.]

Natalia

Murmuring discussions were had, and in the middle of the day Kippy and Tom wandered into town to see if they could work out how to contact the local Druid, Natalia. Luckily Otto and his mates did not see them and Tom was able to find out that Natalia lived in a small grotto just out of town. Instead of barging straight through the middle of the town our two brave party members looped around the outside of the town eventually finding where Natalia was in her grotto. Natalia invited them to sit and questioned them for some time on what it is the party is wanting from her and how it is that these wounds and poisonings have happened. Tom in the party's usual open and frank manner tells her everything, and she sits quietly pondering with a subtle smile upon her face. She agrees, for a fee, to help us out and begins walking back, the long way of course, with Tom and  Kippy in tow.

Along the way Tom and Kippy fill out more detail, and Natalia reciprocates and tells them  of some rumours that say that Otto is well connected and quite senior within a specific group of the thieves guild in Porn City. Tom presses her for more information but after some time he realizes that Natalia does not seem to know anything more.

On getting back to the rest of the party, Natalia looks things over and says that this could be quite a job and will take some time. She settles down and begins her ministrations. Three days later and with the group significantly lighter due to the gold that it has cost, the group is back on their feet. Munch's major wound is healed and all traces of poison have been removed from the very souls of Esme, Kippy and Cody.

"Well, what now you laggards. Should we go teach Otto a lesson, beat him up, get him to cough up who his employer was on that job we is investigating, and then grind him into a pool of rancid mincemeat?"

"No"

"Well, how abouts we sneak in at night, beat Otto up, get him to tells us who's his boss, and then chop him into bite-sized pieces of stir-fried crispy pork?"

"No"

"Well, how's about we set fire to the brothel, catch Otto as he runs out, beats him up..."

"No"

"Well, we should all just bugger off then, no plan from all youse scaredy cats."

Silence and confusion surround the group, every plan put forward seemed to lead to death. Otto looks way too strong and no matter how much each person beats themselves on the head, no plan seemed to make any sense.

"How about plan B?"

"What does that mean?"

"We don't attack we watch and gavva intellygence."

Silence reigned, and reigned some more. Grinding could be heard coming from between ears.

"How about we find a place to hide and watch Otto and his boys for awhile?"

"Yeah, then we may knows what we's up agin."

So, slowly and with much hesitation the party put a plan, a plan of the dreaded 'B' type together. 

Grim shuffled off into the shadows and some time later stepped back towards the group. But was it him really? Standing in front of the group was someone quite different, a dowdy looking middle-aged man, slightly scruffy but somehow looking like a business clerk. 

Grim as merchant "Jack"

"What do you think?" Grim's voice said from this new looking figure [good Disguise roll]. "Yes, it is I, Grim, and I will set forth back into town in this wonderous disguise of mine and acquire a place of abode for us from where we can peruse the activity of the town and Otto's grotto of pleasure, and from whence we can plan our further activities." 

Grim sauntered off with the party now fit and healthy and hoping that success would come their way. Grim walked around the small centre of the town, avoiding the Merchants' Guild who's sign hung outside a small office. Instead, he wandered over to a small area in one corner of the town where banging and other noises of commercial activity could be heard. Warehouses of various sizes were here and Grim found himself in front of an old man in a seedy-looking office. 

"Good morrow to you kind sir. My name is Jack, and I am in the employ of James Jones, a merchant based in Porn city, and he has tasked me with taking possession, via lease, of a warehouse of good quality with respects to his business," extolled Grim/Jack. 

"Yeah well them warehouses are very rare, very rare indeed in these here parts, but as a favour to you, and at great inconvenience to me self, I may be able to find you a small area for yer goods. Mind you the price is not negotiable," the old man replied. 

"Well, let us set forth and peruse the estate of which you speak, my master is in great urgency for this transaction to be completed," said Grim/Jack. 

Skanky warehouse
(maybe a "werehouse")

They shuffled off and around a corner where the old man unlock a small building in terrible repair. Rotten boards and air flowed freely through the 100m2 building. The sky could be spotted in the odd place of the roof and noise could be heard coming from the next door building which shared a wall. A small window in one side showed an alley and another building. All in all, not the most salubrious of warehouses. 

"Space is mighty hard to find around here," the old man grinned to Grim. 

"Yes well, though smaller than my master may have requested, I will take you on your word and honesty, kind sir, and know that the price for a two week initial lease will be fairly derived, so enlighten me of the consideration required, shake, and our dealings will be satisfactorily arranged," replied Grim.

Five minutes later Grim smiled to himself, knowing he had begun the first steps of plan 'B', whilst an old man shuffled away chortling to himself and jingling like 30 pieces of gold.

Grim returned to the party late in the afternoon with pride and success highlighted in his beaming smile. 

"Success friends, we have a small warehouse a couple of hundred metres away from the brothel, easy ingress and if required a simple escape route, simply kick a couple of boards out and we can scurry out our new back door if needed," Grim informed the party. 

Slowly  optimism began to seep back into the bones of the party, who sat around and worked out how to get everybody safely into their home for the next few days. 

In the early hours of darkness of the next day, Munch and Grim sneaked into town whilst the rest of the party waited just out of town. After checking things out and ensuring that the town was quiet, Munch returned and in small groups led the party to the warehouse. The next day broke with all safely stowed and secured.

And so began a number of days with a very similar pattern. During the day, Kippy and Cody sneaked carefully around the town, predominantly keeping eyes upon Otto's grotto of pleasure. Whenever he was spotted coming out the front door, he was followed. He, along with one of his bully boys would visit a number of establishments around the town. After entering, he would be inside for a short period and then move on to another establishment. From time to time, he would be seen adding coins to a pouch he had attached to his waist. The back door of the brothel too had activity with the barmaid and the slim woman remembered from the first night of contact, could be seen coming and going appearing to be doing standard domestic activities. 

On one occasion, Cody followed the slim woman who went into a stone domestic dwelling about a hundred metres away. The small amount of drifting smoke from the chimney increased but she never returned to the brothel. At night Munch also maintained surveillance on the brothel and stone dwelling. In the stone house a light would appear regularly after midnight, remain on for an hour or two and then be dowsed, to leave Munch cold and bored as little else would happen through the night.

Eventually the party, after hearing reports on shift change over from day to night, were able to put together something a little intriguing. The slim woman would be seen working away in the kitchen of the brothel but Munch did not see her leave the stone house in the morning. The fire in the stone house would be smoking away merrily, she did not leave, and yet somehow she was in the brothel. Sounds once again began emanating from between the ears of some of the party.

"I reckons there's some sort of tunnel."

"Yeah, me too"

"How's we gunna found find out?"

"Don't worry I can do that." says Kippy, "Just gimme a Invisible spell and I will checks out the inside of the brothel."

Kippy, invisible

So Kippy, sneaking and invisible (Cody's spell) enters the brothel.   With great care and waiting for movement of people to open and close doors, explores the building. Nothing new in the public areas and in the back a kitchen dining area and a single room with two bully boys lounging around inside. Something is wrong the inside is smaller than the outside. 

So Kippy tries again and this time sneaks into the bully boy waiting room and Otto arrives, presses a secret panel and he enters another room. Kippy decides to not follow him. Still things don't seem quite right so the group decides on a new tactic, searching the stone house of the slim woman. 

Cody, using his Gaseous Form spell, enters the house during the day, when the party is pretty sure no one is at home. The house is very feminine and there is a lounge, bedroom, office and kitchen. In the kitchen a basement containing basic food and utensils and a tunnel pointing towards the brothel. With time running out, Cody leaves, returns to the party and fills everyone in. 

That night Munch sneaks close up to the house once the light is turned on inside and looks through the windows. He sees the slim woman sitting by the fire in the lounge and after some time a naked Otto enters, after dousing the light, the two of them retire to the bedroom

Cody - in Gaseous Form. 
Propane styling

The party wants to find out more about this house and so the next day Cody once again uses Gaseous Form to reenter the house. 

Down into the basement he flows and finds a door a little way down the tunnel. He willows his way under the door, sees a large rusty chain attached to the wall some sort of feeding trough, with old rotten food against the wall. A tunnel continues straight ahead. He decides he knows enough for now and so he returns up stairs and goes into the office, in whispery form, enters each drawer of the desk found within and finds a large tome in the top drawer. He turns back into human form. The study/office is that of a woman's, with a dust-free tidy room with small ornaments and prints on the walls. He Detects Traps and the door and drawers are both trapped. Deciding once again that this information should be given to the group he turns back into Gaseous Form to get out of the house, and then sneakily finds his way to the party's warehouse where he tells all.

But the hands of time have once again moved forward, the  tongues of the party fall silent and the plan 'B' of destiny will need to remain unconcluded for yet another seven days.

What was the plan again?

Present:

• Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
• Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
• MARMALADING Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
• Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
• Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
• Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
• Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
• Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
• Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
• Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl

by Jason / Grim

It was a morning stormy and dark, pouring with rain, as our company started the trek towards Letchtown, in search of Otto von Thesburg. We took three horses and Willow’s cart, most of us walking. We anticipated the trip to take just over a day, necessitating a stop along the way.

With previous lines of enquiry exhausted, we believed Otto was the genuine one who hired Magnus to uplift the spear causing Vincent’s death. Our plan was to find Otto - and then hopefully all would be revealed. We’d be able to report back to the magicians, wrap this sordid tale up and get back to our various lives.

The weather curtailed our normal pace and when we saw a way-station around mid-afternoon, we decided it was time for a stop. The Weeping Mango, it was called. First impressions, very loud and humid, with many human bodies pressed close together. There was a roped-off stage area where several half-elf slaves were being sodomised (against their will). I, for one, was pleased to see some members of this cursed race suffering for the harm they’d inflicted on mainstream Porn City citizens. Nonetheless it was a bit rowdy and once things died down we appreciated the opportunity for a decent kip.

Slavers

Next morning, we set off in more miserable rain. About a mile down the road we saw a wagon with cage on the back that had slid off the muddy road. Two burly men were trying and failing to get the wagon realigned. We noticed the cages contained several quite young half-elf boys and girls - more slaves by the look.

The slavers motioned for us to stop and help. We started debating whether we should demand a fee, but pretty quickly the less self-serving members of the party were already putting their shoulders in. Munch had stayed with our cart, observing the emaciated-looking slaves. As he did so, he noticed a particularly thin girl slip through the cage bars, drop to the ground and limp off through the brush. He and a couple of other party members noticing this break for freedom said nothing.

Once the wagon was upright and on the road again, the slavers did a count and realized one of the slaves was missing. “Hey, there should be eight and there’s only seven,” said one. He was certain the party would have seen an escape, but no-one fessed up and we left them to it.

Finding Otto

Around 4-5 hours later, we made it to Letchtown. The sign on the outskirts said population 1050 - and I wondered at the time whether our presence would change that figure. In the Main Street proper, there were around a dozen enterprises including three inns and a brothel (the Broken Virgin). We chose to stay at one of the inns, the Squalid Minotaur.

We decided to get straight to the point and ask around about Otto (who we understood was the one who had hired Magnus to locate the cursed spear in the first place and thereby caused Vincent’s death). Usually, Cody volunteered to represent the party with strangers, but he’d had a bad run lately. People seemed to have an aversion to odour, headlice and yellow spittle. Someone suggested we should put forward our most attractive party member and so we did.

Esme walked up to the bar keep and asked if he knew Otto and where we could find him. He appeared a little surprised at the directness, but liked the cut of Esme’s gib (or was that her Soixante Neuf neckline?). 

“Er, yes. ‘e owns the Broken Virgin, the orrre ‘ouse, if you like, Ma’am.” 

Flushed with success, Esme began pressing the bar keep (who turned out to be the inn manager) for cheap accommodation rates in return for lodging at the Minotaur and not staying the night at the Virgin. With some success.

While this was going on, a burly man walked up to Cody and informed him that his stench was disgusting and offensive to all assembled and that he should apologize and withdraw. Cody, perhaps nervous, responded with a fart so loud it was only obscured by the accompanying stench of rotten egg. Needless to say, Cody was ordered to stay in the stables.

Deciding it was a good time to leave, we proceeded to the Virgin. Cody was following us in rather hopefully until he was ordered out. Just not his day I guess. Munch hooked up with a lady pretty quickly and disappeared for two hours. Esme, Rock and me headed to the bar.

The Broken Virgin

Esme asked the woman bar tender if she knew Otto and where she might find him as she had something to talk about. The woman said, well yes, he’s my boss. And he is around, he’s just not likely to respond to a stranger’s request. Esme said it was a matter of importance and if it was at all possible, she’d appreciate it. We learned that the von Thesburgs were one of the big families. Esme tipped the woman after a couple of drinks and went to use the powder room.

Those of us still supporting the bar saw the barmaid slip out back at that point and get replaced by a couple of other servers. Esme came back and joined us.

Otto

It took another hour, but we were rewarded. A wiry man with sharp features, about 5 foot 8 tall came in from the back, spoke to a barmaid and was pointed in our direction. A very long discussion followed, with Esme doing her best (including failed Seduction) to pump Otto for information. He simply got annoyed and clammed up.

At some point during the above exchange, my mind drifted off and I started looking at the various women around the bar, wondering how easy or worthwhile it would be to seduce them. 

I was snapped back to awareness as Esme punched me: "Hey, you have some persuade skills. Your turn."

 Maybe it was the beers, but try as best I could, I couldn’t remember what the plan was. If only Munch was here. Was it time for some tough love?

I turned to Otto and said, “It’s known in Porn City that you are connected to a murder committed by a certain Magnus. We’re not the only ones who know. Things could go very badly for you if you don’t tell us what you know. On the other hand, help us and we can help you.” 

Instead of making Otto more forthcoming, this line of enquiry made Otto absolutely livid. During the exchange that followed, he admitted knowing Magnus and Vincent and the whereabouts of the nearby bar that Vincent frequented before he died - but as far as he knew, Magnus had just disappeared. He gave a suggestion that he had a boss above him that may have orchestrated things at a strategic level, but when pressed, boasted he was his own man.

Otto finished by calling us amateurs who were out of our depth and had no idea what we were meddling with. He called his heavies over to escort us out and turned on his heel and left.

A Rendezvous

Back in our rooms, we got a message from Otto to meet back up with him at his bar, at closing time. Jack said that would be foolish, surely we should designate a more neutral spot, like a grove of trees in the wilderness. No-one listened.

Munch offered to use his power of night-vision to go check out the bar surrounds an hour before the rendezvous time. Meanwhile, Kippy went and hung out in the bar until closing time to watch what was going on there. Neither spotted anything unusual.

The rest of us filed in to the bar just before closing, as the staff were ushering the last patrons out. Six well armed men entered, followed by the barmaid (a slight woman in her 30s). Otto himself appeared from a side door. The pub was closed up so it was just us and them.

Otto offered us wine from a couple of expensive looking bottles. When we looked suspicious, he opened the sealed bottles in front of us and took a long drink from both, before insisting again that we drink as we talked. That was enough to convince most of us to drink. Jack, Ardern and I remained suspicious and held off.

“You’ve offended me tonight and you’ve offended people in Porn City. I’ve brought you here to give you a very simple and clear message. Get out of this town and don’t return either here or in Porn City or it will go very badly for you.”

"Who in Porn City is telling you that?"

"No-one," said Otto.

“We’re here to help,” said Munch. “People are going to try and kill you.”

“You’re accusing me of killing Vincent de Thoak,” said Otto. “That’s something I did not do. You need to get out of here.”

Ardern responded, “Are you glad Vincent’s dead?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” said Otto. “But where’s Magnus?”

“I can’t help you there,” said Ardern. “But would you like to know who’s saying this stuff about you in Porn City?”

“Who?”

“I need something from you first - who’s the next up the chain from you - who’s your boss?” 

“Who employed you to come here with this pathetic nonsense?” said Otto.

When we didn’t provide any more answers, he nodded to his men, who ushered us out. We returned to our lodgings at the Minotaur.

Poison, pain and fire

In the early hours of the morning, Esme, Kippy and Munch started suffering terrible stomach pain. Cody didn’t look great either, but was snoring through it. Those of us who could tried to make them more comfortable.

"It was hell," recalled an onlooker.

Soon after, while Grim and Jack were on watch, there was a bit of a ruckus outside and soon we smelled smoke. It became apparent there was a fire in the building - we roused the others and made good our escape [a 1 on a 15 roll].

As we ran outside the main entrance, there was a whirrr in the air and Munch and Cody were hit by crossbow bolts (Munch saved against poison, Cody failed). More bolts flew in from the dark and we quickly retreated around the building into the stables, where we had our horses. Willow’s cart was just outside the stable doors.

At this point, Kippy dropped to the ground, writhing in pain. Esme cast Slow Poison on him to bring him back to consciousness.

Thud, thud, thud. Burning bolts now hit the stable doors and set the dry building on fire with us inside.

Willow, Esme and Jack attempted to cast Protection from Missiles on themselves. Only Jack was successful.

Quite a lot of healing was then done across the party to keep people conscious as various poisons worked through their bodies. Willow cured Cody, Ardern cured Esme and Munch. Willow then fell, requiring several people to get his heavy prone body on a horse.

Flight not fight

Flight

We burst out of the stables on horseback or running; no time to save Willow’s cart. Munch was hit by a bolt and fell to the ground, bleeding. Jack bravely stood over the body while Esme administered yet another cure. They threw Munch over a horse and followed the rest of us out of town. After about 15 minutes of going as fast as we could we called a halt and took shelter in an old barn.

We rested best we could to More light cures and slow poisons were administered to keep our poisoned comrades alive. Once Willow was revived, Willow cured Munch. Ardern cured Cody. Esme and Munch were still very ill despite the cures and needed better juice. Jack was injured but mostly needed rest to recover. Kip was healed by Willow. Cody was healed by Ardern again. Some of the special wafers and grapes were used up.

After resting, the next day was used to continue the healings. But by nightfall, Munch and Esme were once again writhing in pain. By this point, Jack was up again and cast Slow Poison on both of them. Kippy administered heal potion to Cody before he himself started suffering again.

Ardern's the bomb

Jack suggested a proper Neutralize Poison [level 3] would be needed for a permanent cure to the suffering, otherwise all we were doing was delaying death. Ardern said, “I can do that. Let me help.” Unfortunately Ardern fumbled the spell, causing a minor explosion in the middle of the gathered party, damaging all. Only Jack and Rock were outside at the time and unaffected.

The rest of us were hurt bad. Grim was down to 2 hit points. But it was Munch who was most impacted, given he was already unconscious and had been poisoned three times and shot twice in a 48 hour period. He was heavily damaged from Ardern's explosion [took another 12 points of damage, and needed to make a CON roll or die].  All efforts then went on stopping the bleeding and getting Munch back to consciousness.

After much work by Ardern and Willow, Munch was able to speak again.

“You bastards are fucking useless, but you really, really fucked things up this time.”

Futile Hurling

  Present:

• Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
• Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
• Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
• Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
• Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
• Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
• MARMALADING Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
• Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
• Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
• Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl

 

by Andrew

Recap

Porn City dilletante and sybarite, Viscount Vincent Thoak, had recently met a horrible death when he had taken possession of a powerful magical cursed spear-head. An adventurer named Magnus had delivered the spear-head to him. 

Vincent's diary stated "I met this Magnus person. He had a gift for me. And he said it was a gift from Igor." Vincent had mining interests in a gold mine in Morganmine, a week's travel out of Porn City.  Igor was the mine manager of said mine. 

Magnus was now dead, at the party's hand. 

The group had travelled to Morganmine and had questioned Igor, best they could: "I don't know who this bloke Magnus is, and I aint never not given him no spear, notwithstanding."

Igor had no connection to the Barbarian lands.

Also, the group was pretty sure that Magnus's travel from the Barbarian plains to Porn City did not go via Morganmine; he went via the tunnels and the Teleport

.

Magnus had said he was employed by the TG to give the spear to Vincent, but the party found no evidence to indicate that; Munch had visited the TG too, with no threads there.

Magnus had some Sancho money in his pockets.

Vincent had some Barbarian money in his hoard.

Morganmine

The party staked out Igor's house to spot comings and goings. Munch was chosen because he had soft hands, which nicely fitted in with Igor's paraphilia for young soft-handed boys.

The cursed dagger

That evening, (after an uneventful day for Munch) Oswald, powerful gnome raconteur,  entered the inn, the Iron Banjo inn where most of the party was staying. He was holding a dagger.

"That looks like mine!" exclaimed Munch.

"Yes, it is yours," said Oswald. "I found it. I am a 'surgeon'. I 'fix' problems. But it is cursed."

"No," protested Munch. "It is mine."

"No, the first person who had it, has it."

"Well, Munch was the first person to have it after the previous owners died," said Tom.

"No, I do not think that is true," said Oswald. "Grim, YOU are the cursed child. You had it before Munch."

So the dagger ended up back with Grim. There was some unknown curse on it.

[ This removed a treasure lash for Darryl. We run a socialist economy for treasure distribution, out-of-game. Jason did not get a lash, because the item was cursed. ]

The next day, Munch and Grim followed Igor all day. The only notable thing that happed was that Igor's man-servant Pedro took Igor's Zibrost-bull-mastiff Chuckles for a walk.

So, the next day, during Pedro's walk, Munch picked the lock to Igor's house, then Grim and Cody sneaked inside [Why does a wizard go with the sneakers? Well, Cody has the Shadow talent (Bonus roll for Sneak), so is surprisingly quiet]. In Igor's office, they found a silver dagger and five potions. All of these glowed under Cody's Detect Magic. So the three swiped the items. Then they rummaged through Igor's papers, finding nothing significant. (Cody can read too, a feat that neither Munch nor Grim can do). They left just before Pedro and Chuckles arrived home.

As soon as Pedro got home, he left rapidly, and rushed off to the mine office. Igor came rushing home.

"We were careful not to disturb anything. Maybe it was my belly burp miasma," observed Cody. "Or greasy handprints on the desk we searched. I was missing a hydatids cyst. Maybe Pedro found that. My ones are sentient."

Later, Oswald caught up to us:  "Igor is upset and in a foul mood. Someone broke into his house. To quote him 'They left all sorts of vermin, and a horrible rancid smell of diarrhetic flatulence. I knows someone of that smell, but I can't put a face to him. That person is very lucky'."

On the road

Having exhausted Morganmine enquiries and now worried about Igor's new-found diligence, the group decided to leave Morganmine.

To act less suspicious, half the group left the next morning: Cody, Jack, Munch, Esme, Grim, Ardern. The rest (Tom, Kippy, Rock, and fat Willow) to follow the day after that.

The first group stayed at the first way-station between Morganmine and Littleton, the Emerald Carrot,

for a couple of days.

While they were there, Cody divined what the five stolen potions were: Healing [2d4+2], and he cast an Identify spell on the dagger: ignore armour. Cauterizes wounds.

Porn City Militia

When the second group arrived, they left for Porn city, via the other three way-stations, then Littleton, Bigton, and Swag. An uneventful trip.

Between Swag and Porn City, they met a group of Porn City militia. These soldiers were searching for two escaped black slaves. No reward. "Except for the pleasure of watching them being eviscerated."

Back in Porn City

That evening, they all arrived at Porn City. At the Flabbergasted Radish there was a message for Cody: "Report to the Wizards' Guild ASAP."

Cody scurried off while the rest of the group found new digs in the Immature Buffoon.

Thespian summoned Cody to his office. 

"You guys stole gold," snapped Thespian. "Thoak gold."

Cody blinked. "No sir. We reported that there was 9000gp left in Vincent's treasury, and assumed your auditors, lackeys and your cleaners would collect it all."

"Not it wasn't, It was you."

"No, sir. We are poor but honest adventurers who ..." 

"Don't lie to me, you horrid little worm."

Thespian gave Cody two gold coins. They looked the same from a distance, but up close you could see minting differences.

"Oh," said Cody, deflated. But Thespian wasn't particularly angry.

 

"You can keep them," said Thespian. "Keep everything you stole. But know that I am watching you."

"Well, I vouch for my group that they are totally loyal to your cause, sir. We just came back from Morganmine. It was wild goose chase, sir."

"Do you know who killed Vincent?" snapped Thespian.

"No sir. Not yet sir."

"Then get out of my sight."

Back at the Immature Buffoon, Cody told the group.

"It's all bollocks!' claimed Munch. "No way can they identify those coins."

But looking close and the coins were, indeed, slightly different.

Constance and the Pit Fights

Munch went back to the Porn City Thieves' Guild. The Venning family ran it, so they knew all comings and goings. 

Jack went and dumped huge piles of  Thoak coins to his mates at the docks. This put him back into good standing with all the Jacks there, and regained some of the bad-mouthing that the Jacks had begun.

Grim did some research for other family members of the the deceased Viscount Vincent Thoak. He had two sisters: Alina and Constance, both in their twenties. Alina Thoak was a home girl and debutante. Constance Thoak was a tom-boy pit fighter. And she had a platonic friend called Dimitri Malbec who acted as her trainer and confidant. 

Constance Thoak

The party all went to the pit fights that evening. Spandex, Vincent's friend from the boarding house, was fighting. Cody put a 100gp bet on Spandex, but the odds were not good - he got 105gp, a tidy sum of 5gp winnings. Spandex wiped the floor with the other fighters.

Constance was also fighting, but in the girlie heavy-weight division. She won a lot too. Unlike pretty boy Spandex, she was none too pretty.

At the pit fight, Grim attempted to get a signature of Constance, to get close to her. This loathsome ploy worked a treat, and then he tried to seduce her.

"Meet me at the Manacle and Whip ," she sighed breathlessly. "In four hours. Someone rolled a 1."

We returned to Immature Buffoon to plot.

Grim's hot date

Munch trailed Grim to the Manacle and Whip, to keep a weather-eye on him.

Grim revealed all; he opened his kimono and told Constance that his group has been employed by the Wizard Guild to investigate the death of her brother Vincent.

"I am looking who would make this kind of attack on your family."

"Lots of people did not like Vincent.," said Constance. "We didn't even like Vincent."

"Why is that?"

"He bats for the other side."

"But this is Porn City!" exclaimed Grim. "You guys should be into all things ... into all types of batting: cover-drives, hook shots, late-cuts to the third man, and reverse sweeps over 4th slip. And even with different types of bats." 

"I know," she observed with a wry smile. "How ironic is that?

Freud's First Slip

But why would hurting, murdering, Vincent hurt us? We didn't like him any way. Dad had disowned him 'No son of mine is gonna high-cut over first slip - even if it's a Freudian one.'"

"Is there anyone you can think of who would benefit from the murder of Vincent?" asked Grim.

"No," said Constance. "I don't actually care. However, since you're a pretty boy ['Pretty' is not a adjective one would associate with Grim, but maybe he's good with his hands]. I can get you an audience with my father.

In four days. Sir Orrin Thoak - a retired mage."

More WG shenanigans

Cody returned to the Wizards Guild and got another audience with Thespian.

Cody asks the if they have Identified the spear-head. The weary Thespian reluctantly admitted that they had not. As it was a cursed item, such items are far too dangerous to dare identify.

Cody then pointed out that the spear was not a very good murder weapon. You can not guarantee it will kill the holder. For example, Magnus had held it many days, and it wasn't what killed him. Plus Cody had held it too.

Maybe these deaths were just side-effects of holding it.

As usual, Thespian was very rude and unhelpful. 

The conclusion was that Vincent was totally innocent in this. Maybe his death was a side-effect rather than being intentional, batting for the wrong team, or not.

Dronk and Spandex

Munch approached Dronk and Spandex, Magnus's companions staying at the Hermitage boarding house, and managed to lure them out.

The party, all masked and hooded, took on the two friends in a blind alley. They both succumbed to Sleep and Command spells without any blood or violence. Then they got manacled, separated and the group questioned them.

Spandex did not know much about the Spear of Destiny, but said that Curtis Dronk had arranged that job with Magnus.

Dronk was a lot more forthcoming: 

"I got told to pay Magnus," he whimpered "By a guy called Otto in Letchtown."

The group finished with: "If you say a word to Otto, we'll come back and get you."

"I don't care about Otto."

The party felt generous, rather than churlish, and the two wretches had not seen anyone's face, so rather than getting cement shoes, they were rewarded with 100gp each.

Letchtown was a day away from Porn City towards Highport.

Letchtown ho!

They tried to make me go to Letchtown, but I said, "No, no, no"

Yes, I've been black, but when I come back, you'll know, know, know

I ain't got the time and if my SPandex thinks I'm fine

They tried to make me go to Letchtown, but I won't go, go, go                                             -- Curtis Dronk

 

There be Gold in them thar hills!

 Present:

• Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
• Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
• Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
• Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
• Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
• MARMALADING Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
• MARMALADING Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
• Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
• Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
• Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl

 by Jeff

Dead. They were all dead. The farmer, his children, his wife, and his killers!

The party had happened upon a group of brigands shortly after their attack on a farm and attempted to intervene. Unfortunately for the farm's resident family, the party were too late but did manage to kill all the brigands. There were no survivors.

The bodies were dragged out from the farmhouse and sorted.

The brigands went into one heap, to be looted, beheaded, and unceremoniously burnt, with the heads mounted on stakes along the driveway, as a message to any others thinking to raid unprotected farmers.

"Justice has been served!" stated Ezme.

The farmer's family were laid gently aside, in preparation for an appropriate ceremony and "burial".

Super Fosfait

"They be followers of Super Fosfait" noted Willow, after spotting the farmer's golden sheaf of wheat necklace. 

"Best give them back to the earth then, to continue the Glorious Cycle" declared Cody.

So, they were buried in the large compost heap around the back of the farmhouse. Willow said a few words, and a few tears were shed. Just a few mind.

Then the party headed back inside the house, to secure valuables and spend the night.

No magical items were detected, but Cody did locate a copy of a property title that listed Mr Wilder, Farmer, as a 50% shareholder in the Sultry Broccoli, one of the two Inns in Littleton. Littleton was just a little further down the coast and we would be passing through there on the next day's travel. We had expected to arrive in Littleton that night but dealing to the raiding brigands had delayed us somewhat, so we would be passing through the next morning and turning inland towards Morganmine itself.

The trip to Morganmine

Morganmine was a small mining town established centrally between a handful of rich mines up in the Spine Mountains, about four days travel up the Morgan river from Littleton. This was our destination.

We wanted to question the mine manager of one of the mines there, Klib mine. 

Klib mine was owned by the late Viscount Vincent de Thoak, and we were investigating his death.

"Find out who killed Vincent, and why!" were our instructions from Thespian, our newly appointed patron from the Porn City Wizard's Guild. Newly appointed due to the sudden death of Ania, the previous patron, who had inexplicably died with the same symptoms as Vincent, after receiving the magical spearhead, from our very own hands!

Apparently, this magical spearhead, the supposed murder weapon, had been given to Vincent as "a gift from Igor".

And the only Igor we could find with any association with Vincent, was the mine manager of Kilb mine at Morganmine.

So off we had set. 

And now onward we continued.

Of course, the day was overcast, with the familiar damp drizzle so common around the Porn Plains.

But it was only an hour later that we trudged into Littleton.

Ezme headed straight to the Militia Guard office to report the raid and the deaths of the Wilders.

They told her not to leave town until they had been to investigate, so we hired rooms in the Sultry Broccoli (of course) and settled in for the day and night. The place was pretty quiet, until later in the day when it started to full up with noisy farmers, merchants, and riffraff. All in all, it was an uneventful day followed by an uneventful night. 

Kippy got drunk, Munch got into arguments, Cody was shunned, and Ezme was drooled over. Same same!

The next day we were given the all clear by the militia, and we set of for Morganmine. 

The first day was through the low plains and farmlands alongside the river.

There was a reasonable quantity of traffic on the road, in both directions. 

Ezme couldn't ride on the cart due to her travel sickness, so she walked.

We were travelling at quite a slow pace, but the waystations were spaced for a walking pace, and we anticipated arriving at the waystation just before dark. About an hour before dark, Munch suddenly stopped.

"Where is me dagger?" he yelled.

He dropped to the ground and hunted through his backpack, tossing stuff everywhere.

"I only just got it" he grumbled, "and now it's lost?"

"When did you have it last?" asked Cody sensibly.

"I definitely had it this morning" Munch replied, his face screwed up in concentration.

"Yes", he continued, "I had it just after breakfast and before we left the Sultry Broccoli."

"So then", suggested Cody, "sometime today on the road then."

Willow volunteered to turn into a sharp-eyed eagle and scout back along the road a way, which Munch gratefully accepted. But Willow didn't see any daggers on the road, or any suspicious activity on the road behind us either.

After arriving at the waystation, a glorified camping ground, Cody cast a Detect Magic to see if the dagger had somehow got hidden anywhere in the party gear. But no, nothing. [This was Darryl's newly obtained magic dagger of Armour Avoidance and so was a pretty valuable item]

The night passed very peaceably, our camp just one among a bunch of other travellers. The next morning we set off on the second day of four in the journey up to Morganmine. The terrain was starting to climb a little now, the plains alongside the river tipping upward into gentle rolling hills, still covered with farms and occasional hamlets. The river had changed from its previous wide and slow flowing form to something with a little more current.

About three hours into the days trip, Kippy, who was in out front of the party on point, spotted a wagon tipped down on its side a little way ahead. There were two attractive women staring dismally at the wagon, which had lost one of its wheels and had ploughed down into the road.

Kippy, with a lecherous grin and a wink, offered his "assistance". [Kippy has the character Fault of being a Lecher, he just can't help himself, and despite his ridiculously low APP(earance) requisite of just 8, always seems to think that every woman should just fall at his feet, and "suck me baby" as he puts it. It never works of course]

Kippy's skirmish

And it didn't work today either. In fact, he made an ass of himself as usual, antagonized both the women, triggered a skirmish with them, and took a stab wound in the side from one of the women. Fortunately, Willow managed to calm the situation, despite Cody attempting (and failing) to cast a Sleep spell on the woman, which triggered her companion to send a throwing dagger flying through the air and into Cody's chest (dealing six points of damage). 

It could have gone extremely wrong, but Tom yelled at everyone to "STOP, calm the f-down" in his extremely Intimidating way, and everyone did! 

[Jeff rolled a critical success on his Intimidate skill]

Jack also kicked Kippy in the groin, which cooled his ardour a little!

Tom and Jack lent their "muscle" to lift the wagon, while Willow slipped the wheel back in place and secured with his amazing wainwright skills [Chris's Build/Repair skill is 14, pretty much a natural!]

The women hurried off ahead of us.

"Don't think this is over" one yelled back, "Our dad is in the Town Guard"

At the next waystation, we spotted the women's wagon again, and the women, hanging around a couple of guards there. We kept our distance. Except for Munch, who marched up to the guards and reported that someone had stolen a very valuable item from him.

"Tell someone who cares" they scoffed.

Kippy was still nursing a sore groin, so he was happy to leave the women be. 

We posted watches overnight of course, but the night passed peacefully.

Oswald the gnome

The next day we saw a very short figure ahead of us, marching resolutely along the side of the road, a large and floppy hat pulled down low over its head. Other travellers were keeping their distance, swerving around and passing. As we got closer, we discovered it was a male gnome. Gnomes are not very common in the Porn Plains area; most people despise them. Even Grim, our very own intolerant racist, hated gnomes and would harass them at every opportunity. 

Cody, however, is always friendly to others. He stepped up and conversed with the Gnome. It turned out that this was Oswald, "The Surgeon", a relatively well-known character in the regions hereabouts. He rambled on to Cody for some time and even asked for a ride on the wagon. He complained that his short legs meant that he has to take twice as many steps as everyone else to get anywhere. Cody of course offered Oswald a ride.

Grim muttered rudely and jumped off the wagon, joining Ezme at the rear.

Turns out that Oswald was named The Surgeon because he was the ultimate "fixer". If you had a problem, Oswald would fix it for you. 

"Ha" Cody chuckled, "Bet you can't fix this" as he flicked a few ticks off his head.

Oswald looked Cody over, gave a wave of his hand, and suddenly every flea, lice, tick, and worm leapt from Cody's body and was left in the dust of the road.

"Won't last of course" noted Oswald at Cody's stunned expression, "But you're welcome"

"Do you know of Igor then?" asked Cody.

"Of course, he's a pit crew boss up in the Klib Mine" Oswald replied.

"He's a bit of a Potato Queen" noted Oswald, "He's tough, but fair though"

"The Klib is a gold mine" he noted, "There be gold in them thar hills!"

Oswald rambled on continuously as we made our way to the next waystation

Arriving at the waystation that evening, Kippy pointed out that the two women and their wagon was also camped up there for the night. "Maybe I'll go and say hello" he leered.

"Those two are trouble" noted Oswald, "Elima and Mila Ulricsdotter, the daughters of the Morganmine town leader, Ulric. Don't be fooled by their good looks and apparent sweet nature. Definitely trouble, they would cut you up rather than kiss you!"

Kippy decided to leave them alone, but did kept glancing over in their direction, and drooling.

That night was another quiet one, and the next day we continued on. 

Oswald rode on the wagon with us again. Grim walked behind with Ezme again.

With another wave of his hand, Oswald cleared off Cody's fleas, lice's, ticks, and worms again.

Oswald kept up a constant running monologue for most of the day, with the odd input from both Cody and Willow. Willow seemed to hit it off reasonably well with Oswald, likely because they are both non-human; Willow being of half-elven extraction.

We rolled into Morganmine just before night and took rooms at the Iron Banjo. Willow wasn't impressed with any of the four Inn's and gratefully accepted Oswald's offer to stay with him at his place. Yes, Oswald has his own place in Morganmine! 

There must be a lot that needs "fixing" up here, I guess.

Once at Oswald's house, Willow did notice however, that Oswald had a Holy Symbol of Leprous By-Blow which worried him somewhat.

"Isn't Leprous kind of Evil?" Willow asked Oswald.

"That's just a misunderstanding" Oswald replied,
"My god only inflicts on those whom deserve it"

"Oh" muttered Willow hesitatingly, "I guess that's ... OK then"

Willow's sleep that night was rather restless and he jerked awake a few times with uneasy feelings. 

But morning eventually dawned and he was fine.

After settling in, the investigations began.

Cody sidled up to the barkeep and opened his mouth to inquire about Igor.

"F' off you ugly twerk" the barkeep instructed.

Kippy approached a random woman on the street and asked about the mines and the mine crews. He got some good intel, including a comment about Ulric. Remember him?

"Ulric rules here with a heavy fist, so don't get on his bad side!"

"Oh" muttered Kippy, deciding that a trip to Flora's, the only brothel in town, was now required.

Munch headed off to talk to Ulric about possible work.

"No, F' off" Ulric barked.

So, Munch then tried the Klib mine office where he actually spoke to Igor and got himself hired as an assistant kitchenhand in the mine office kitchen/mess hall.

Jack parked himself in the bar and gossiped with all the drinkers, mostly miners, singling out those that worked in the Klib mine. He got a recommendation from Robbo who said there was plenty of work opportunities in the Klib mine. 

"But" Robbo added, "Don't get a job in the kitchens. The boss is a real prick!"

Willow offered his services to Igor as a general repairer of broken and damaged things and was hired immediately. 

Cody also offered his services but was declined.

"F' off you ugly bastard" shouted Igor.

"Well" responded Cody, "F you too you fat cunt"

Whereupon Cody was chased from the premises by Igor and his giant club.

Willow later told Cody that the previous cleric who worked for Igor had been killed, after Igor lost his temper with him and "accidentally" hit him with his club.

Munch started on his kitchen duties shift, but very soon determined that Igor swung the other way and decided that "his lovely soft and soapy dish washing hands" weren't going anywhere near Igor and never returned after going out for a smoke break.

Setting up in a nearby hide, Munch staked out the mine office and planned to follow Igor back to his house once his working day had finished. This proved to be a successful plan, and when Igor, accompanied by a young lad who had also been working in the kitchens that morning, left the office just after nightfall, Munch trailed them through the town to an old ramshackle house. Someone swung the door open from the inside when Igor approached, and a large wolfhound bounded happily out and rubbed against Igor's legs. Igor gave him a pat and they all went back inside. "Damn" thought Munch, "A frigging dog thing"

Reporting back to the party, Munch described the location of Igor's house, and it was decided that a watch would be maintained over it for the next day or so. Kippy and Munch were assigned that duty, and they took turns watching Igor's place. They spotted a petite wiry fellow who took the wolfhound out for regular walks around the town, taking about a half hour. This occurred a couple of times, and it was planned that Cody would slip into the house and search it thoroughly the next time the dog was out on its walk.

Cody the un-stealthy

A few hours later, Pedro Gilmore (that was the fellow's name apparently) and the dog left the house. Cody was sent forward; Kippy and Munch keeping a look out. As Cody slipped around towards the back of the house a shout rang out. "OY. What are you doing there?" yelled some rando who just happened to be walking past.

[Andrew failed his Stealth roll, so instead of slipping from shadow to shadow unobtrusively, Cody blundered through the garden in plain sight of the road. Loser!]

Cody rushed off towards the rear of the house and ducked down behind a bush. The rando followed. "OY, I see you, get out of there" he yelled.

[Andrew also failed his Hide spell roll, so was crouched in plain sight behind a thin shrub]

Noting that things were not going to plan, Cody cast a Sleep spell at his pursuer, who immediately dropped to the dirt in the garden. [Finally, a successful roll]

Kippy, who had spotted all the action, slipped out from his hide and rushed over. Cody and Kippy looked at each over over the sleeping body, Kippy raised an eyebrow, Cody shrugged, and the unlucky stranger received the knife. Life is cheap in the mountains!

They dragged the body away from the house and were lucky enough to find a secluded spot nearby where they could hide the body. Munch cleaned up the blood trail.

The plan had failed, Igor's house was not searched, and Pedro and the wolfhound returned.

Everyone returned to the Iron Banjo to regroup.

Ezme received a note from Oswald. "Come to my home. Alone!"

Ezme went. Tom and Kippy followed close behind and hung around a little distance off.

Ezme timidly knocked on Oswald's door.

The door swung open.

In she went.

Oswald ushered Ezme over to a large dining table, set for two, and served up dinner.

Oswald kept up a constant monologue as they dined. 

Ezme filed away a few notable snippets of conversation to review with the party later, assuming she got out safely. These included:

"I have solved Cody's current little problem"

"He should be friendly, and if I should ask him something, he should do what I ask"

"Igor is the most racist man alive"

"I've been hired to fix Igor, but don't you worry about that" 

"That Pedro is Igor's latest little "bitch""

Ezme did get out safely, after the dinner.

She reported to the party on all Oswald's comments.

Kippy, Tom, Ezme, and Jack decided to front to Igor directly and explain the situation.

That happened the next day, they met with Igor in the mine office and informed him that his employer Vincent has passed away in suspicious circumstances. That they were here investigating his death on behalf of the Wizard's Guild, and that he, Igor, had been implicated as sending the murder weapon as a "gift".

"I don't give no gift to Vincent" Igor declared.

"Someone must be framing me" he mused.

"I still had a soft spot for Vincent" Igor declared, "Even though he had moved on with that black bastard Sebastian. I totally hate him"

Igor also had a bit of a rant about Oswald when asked about him, calling him a "fixer" who was protected on high. He also declared "I hate Barbarians" when asked if he had any dealings with them. 

The conclusion of this interview was than Igor didn't appear to have the smarts to plan and execute the obviously complicated murder plan leading to Vincent's death. He didn't have any motive; he wouldn't get any ownership of the gold mine, and he seemed happy enough throwing his weight around in his current role.

"So, what next?" Cody wondered.

"Who hired Oswald to "fix" Igor" mused Willow, "And why?"

"What about Dronk and Spandex, Magnus Digby's two friends back in Porn City?" asked Tom.

"Perhaps they knew who hired Magnus to retrieve the Spear from the Barbarian Plains."