- Phoebe Lacrosse. Human Barbarian from Pugtown – Andrew
- Griza Muso. Human Thief from Lakeside – Jeff
- Balder Dash. Gnome Wizard from Toluene - Jamie
- Bush Tucker. Human Rogue from Spite Anti - Darryl
- Red Feuersturm. Human Temple Fighter of Hob from Toluene - Chris
- Malcom Gandhi. Gnome Thief from Brian – Kevin
- Napolean Twig. Elf Priest of Caribou Gorn from Pugtown - Ian
- Joe Manco. Human Fighter from Toluene – Shane
- MARMALADING Galena Alfdis. Elf Priestess of Vingt et Un from Palantir - Steven
By Phoebe
Having explored the tunnels under the Massimo tomb in Spite Battle, and having destroyed sleeping vampire Simeon Massimo, corpse-like Loris, and the two vampire children of Simeon and Gabriella, we followed a long tunnel from the cemetery which emerged into the basement of a house. There was a fully-fledged shrine to Canker here (god of Death), and various other rooms and chambers that contained accoutrements and nick-nacks of Canker.
Gabriella's Kitchen
At the end, up a ladder, we all emerged into a kitchen of the house.
An eighty year old woman was here, Gabriella herself. Galena had confirmed that Gabriella was not undead, though Galena was in no fit state to do anything this second - except drool marmalade.
|
Gabriella introduces herself |
Gabriella seemed to know that we had staked Simeon and the children, but did not appear to be too worried.
That's evil for you, I guess.
"You have killed my husband and my two children," she began with a strong Luln accent. "I don't think you are in any position to argue. What will you give me in return?"
Awkward silence.
"I have some suggestions, if you would like."
She pointed a steady finger at Balder. "I would like him."
"What will you do to him?" I asked.
"Carve him up," said Bush, helpfully, fingering his new knife.
"He will join me," she said "It will give us both enhanced power."
"Holy matrimony?"
"I will not marry a gnome!" Gabriella spat.
"Why not? Racist, biased, sexist, xenophobic?"
"Not a woke lich-king... er ...queen," said Red.
"It's a lich's kitchen," quipped Gandhi, playing with the alliteration.
Gabriella fixed her eyes on Bush.
"I'd like my knife back too."
"Nah, yer cant have it," said Bush quickly. "I found it."
"You found it in MY home," Gabriella continued. "That's theft. Feel any urges with that knife?"
"Nah."
|
Bush's fever dream |
"You don't feel like
cutting one of your comrades here?"
Bush looked at the top of Phoebe's thighs, where her tight leather skirt met the skin. He could imagine in his mind's eye sawing repeated parallel cuts into the skin with the razor-sharp blade edge, and watching delightedly as the blood pooled up.
Gandhi broke the awkward silence and handed over a pair of Galena's knickers to Gabriella.
"I have a nice hat for you. Lovely big ear holes too."
Gandhi continued triumphantly when Gabriella took the garment "Now we are free! She has taken the gift, so we are free."
"Why would you give me those?"
Despite adamant protests from Gandhi over the value of the kickers and them being adequate payment, Gabriella did not seem to agree with him.
"How powerful are you, Gabriella?" asked Balder.
"Just an old lady. But I am very disappointed that you destroyed my husband and two children."
She didn't seem that upset. More like just stating a fact.
"I think you have been the source of all our challenges over the past few weeks," said Balder
"You are the source of your own challenge. I serve the god Canker. If you do not join me, your friend with the strange accent who took my knife ... will die."
Balder resolved the impasse. He suddenly cast Feeblemind, as an enhanced spell.
[Feeblemind is a 5th level spell that reduces the MND of the target to 4, making them into a slack-jawed idiot. It is a contested spell which means the target gets a save. To improve his chance, Jamie spent 5 luck on this, which meant he got to roll two D20 and take the best one. ]
The misty bolt of the spell seemed to slide off Gabrielle and it hit Napolean, in a bright flash of light. Napolean blinked... but nothing happened.
[ Gabriella had some innate spell-diversion power, or, despite Balder's enhancement she saved well. The spell got diverted to Napolean. So, then it was his turn to make an opposed roll. Ian threw a 1 - perfect save! ]
Seeing this, Phoebe, Red and Bush all drew magic weapons, and all rushed Gabriella at the same time.
Napolean and Griza skulked away, cowering down the stairs. Perhaps this was wise.
We all missed our blows. Bush was the primary; Gabriella back-handed him. She had immense strength (especially for an 80 year-old). Bush stumbled back, ears ringing.
Red stepped in and took the brunt. We all whacked her again. Only Red's blow landed, but it was just a flesh wound. Not good.
|
... the split second before Gabriella vanished |
Then Balder cast another spell. A spell we had never seen before.
[ He cast Dismissal. This is a fifth level spell that sends extra-planar creatures and powerful undead back to their plane of origin. Jamie spent another 5 Luck points to give himself the bonus D20. And he threw well. Gabriella got the opposed roll, but it was not enough.]
Gabriella suddenly turned into a horned winged creature, but she was now unclothed, young, blonde and stunning. This vision only lasted a fraction of a second before she then vanished in a loud pop, leaving only some sparks, and clouds of brimstone and formaldehyde.
"A succubus," hissed Balder as the smoke cleared.
Spite Battle
Red pointed to the cooking fire in the hearth whose flames were now licking up the kitchen wall. Maybe he had enhanced those flames with his Hob gifts.
"We better get going," said Red.
|
Massimo house ablaze |
So, we quickly exited the house as the conflagration increased in intensity. People were running about in the streets, panicked, as the house burned. So we merged into the fleeing crowds.
We didn't recognize what part of Spite Battle we were in, but headed for a main road and followed that to a familiar landmark.
By now, there was a large plume of smoke billowing on the Spite Battle sky line.
I asked Balder to go to the UWG to check on the mechanics of demons. I wanted to know how easy it would be for her to return to ... seek revenge.
While he was doing that, the rest of us went to the docks and I booked a ferry for the trip back up the Spite Delta to Spite City. (After Spite, we intended to travel back to Quek, to reunite with Thursa, of course. The whole point of this mission.)
|
Ferry from Spite Battle to Spite |
Luckily, there was a ferry leaving that very afternoon [
I threw a 1 on Luck], so booked passage for whole group, then waited the few hours for Balder to return.
Return, he did. He had spoken to the Wizards' Guild head wizard Elowyn Frostglobe. Elowyn confirmed, from Balder's descriptions and the success of the Dismissal spell, that Gabriella was likely a succubus, a minor demon. To return to this realm, Gabriella would need a temple of Canker - not just a mere shrine, a full temple. Elowyn was sure there were no Canker temples in the Spite area.
"There might be one in Two Frime, but I don't think so. There is one in Scabport. Highport and Porncity are also 'maybes'. And Canker has a cathedral in Luln and Sancho."
Scabport is the closest of all them and is about five week's travel away. Luln and Sancho are probably half a year's travel away. That, or 10 seconds by Teleport...
Spite ho
The trip from Spite Battle to Spite took four days. It was all upstream, so Nicoli Sparetti's ferry was pulled by draught horses, and some sections of the delta had expanses of water that needed to be sailed.
The first few nights, the party spell-casters all took grapes and wafers to recharge their depleted reserves.
We had plenty of time to look at the magical items that we had bare-faced stolen acquired - there was a magical amulet, magical slippers, a magical hat and two magic thumb-screws.
|
We were starting to worry about Bush |
Bush also had his knife (that he'd swiped from Gabriella's coffin). We were starting to get worried because he'd keep playing with it and sharpening it all day. And any party members who had large tracts of skin (mostly me), he'd fixate on them, obviously imagining the delicious feel of the keen blade cutting immaculate rows of perfectly parallel cuts.
If anyone innocently asked if they could hold the knife, Bush would hiss and growl and make stabby motions towards the speaker. Not a chance.
On the third day, dark clouds formed from klibwards, followed by heavy rain.
And then a large cloud of bats. All flying towards Spite Battle.
Did we care? "What is behind us is not important."
Balder cast Identify on the magic amulet first. [Amulet of +2 save (poison, arcane, divine)]. Napolean got this.
|
The ironic elf |
We arrived at Spite and stayed in the
Ironic Elf. (The clever irony being that the "elf" was a human who
identified as an elf. "I can see in zee dark," as he crashed down the stairs.)
We spent three nights in Spite and that gave Balder enough time to cast Identify on all the other three items.
- Hat of Observation [+2 PER]. Galena got this.
- Slippers of Silence [auto-quiet when moving inside]. Joe got these.
- Thumbscrews of Truth [Detect Lie]. Red got these.
Also during that time, news arrived from Spite Battle. A section of the city had burned, and the authorities had discovered remnants of a Canker shine in the ruins.
No mention of the swarm of bats.
Bush was becoming a worry. He was getting more and more psychotic with his dagger. One morning we got up and he'd shaved hair, beard and eyebrows.
This had to stop, so that night, the three strongest of us all, Joe, Red and myself, grabbed him bodily. We hogtied and gagged him. Balder grabbed the dagger wearing gloves.
We all took it to the Spite REAL temple, and Balder and I got an audience with the high priestess. She was happy to destroy such an evil knife. As we were leaving the temple grounds, there was a loud CRUMP noise and some smoke drifted out of the REAL fume-cupboard vent.
At the same time, a wailing gagged scream from our room in the Ironic Elf.
We left Spite the next day, heading for Quek. Bush was sullen and miserable. He would get over it.
Quek ho
The next few days passed without incident. These were all familiar towns, and these roads were travelled quite a lot.
In Rouen we stayed at the Wandering Pony. Then Acruchet, stayed in Solemn Gargoyle. And then Burq, at the Rabid Monkey.
Between Burq and Peignoir, we met some Spite soldiers on the road. They warned us of a half-elf brigand called Felix Amure who was a master of disguise. He and his band had been robbing travellers on this road.
"I think we can look after ourselves," I smiled. "But thanks for the warning, Sergeant."
We arrived at Peignoir and stayed at the Green Avocado.
The next morning, we encountered the most incompetent ambush known to man.
As fore-shadowed, it was Felix Amure and a bunch of three brigands. One threw his (magic) bow onto the ground [fumble]. Then they all took off when we threatened them. We were hurrying to get to Quek, so did not want to get distracted on a side mission to follow them, much to Joe's chagrin.
We camped out that night.
Five wolves attacked at third watch. Backed up by four figures. It was the same group. We killed their wolves and the rest fled. Again, we did not pursue. Again, Joe was furious.
Next day we arrived in Quek and stayed at Simon's Pouch.
Then, the next day we got the the Great Pillar of Quek. Here, we met up with our patron Thursa Demont.
"We have completed your mission," I said.
"Excellent!" she replied. "Where is Loris and his brother Simeon?"
"We have Loris. Well, his jaw bone."
I produced that.
"Now Simeon, he was a vampire. He was already dead. We couldn't transport a vampire. But, the next best thing, Ma'am. Here is his skull."
Griza hands that over too.
"Then you should have brought me someone who was living. One of his family."
"We killed them all," muttered Balder.
"But they were vampires too," I hurriedly said. "And his wife Gabriella was a succubus. And ... she has been banished to the outer planes. By our ... demonologist Balder."
"But, we would have brought Simeon back alive, had he been alive."
"The succubus, she will hunt you. She can return."
"Well, she is really after Galena."
"Why is that?"
"She has Galena's underwear."
I cut that tangent off quickly.
"So I get no revenge," bemoaned Thursa. "How can I praise Smackwater Jack without revenge?"
Red [whose talent allows him the best of two Persuade rolls] managed to persuade her, and she agreed to pay us the promised items.
- Phoebe: Bracelet of Aishwarya [ +1 APP ]
- Bush: Bag of Holding (200kg)
- Griza: +1 Sword
- Napolean: Lyra's Bracelet of Storage [ Store 5 MP - recharge with Transfer ]
- Balder: Bobbin's Amulet of the Goblin [speak the goblinoid lingua franca - kobold, goblin, orc, hobgoblin, gnoll]
- Gandhi: Lacy Underwear of Deftness [ +1 DEX ]
- Joe Manco: +1 double-sword
- Red: +1 studded leather
- Galena: Holy Symbol of 21; turns undead at +2
The jaw bone of Loris was needed so that Thursa could work on Balder and purge him. This painful ordeal with take many weeks and Balder would be doused in star-fall, receive star-fall purgatives, and of course the mandatory star-fall enemas. This would remove the traces of the blue egg that had infected him all those years ago.