Queen's Hand-maiden

Sun 20-Apr-1603 (10-Apr) continued ...

Bosun Island was a tiny island, quarter of an Irish acre (circular, 50 paces across),  right next to Inishbeg Island. The island had a single sidhe circle which all but covered the entire island, and had a stone cairn like the one on Lamb Island.

Golden Hind

There was a large storm brewing and it hit just as Golden Hind made anchor; horizontal rain, howling wind and lightning. They were in a relatively sheltered bay, deep down the Donegal harbour, in the mouth of the river Ilen, five Irish miles from open sea, but even so, the storm severely rocked the boat bad enough that Captain Owens ordered a second anchor for the stern.

There were two hours left of the day, but the wise Captain suggested: "Baton down the hatches, lads. It's too dangerous to put the jolly boats out in this. We'll try in the mornin'."

A crack of lightning emphasized his words in stark silhouette.

Everyone went below, out of the driving rain. Except Roma. He was up on deck, when another crack of lighting struck the spike on the ball at the top of the mast. Roma was blown off his feet: ears ringing, sight blinded.

Edward Kelley came scurrying up from below, dragging a long rope. He inserted it into a hole at the foot of the mast, then went below again. Roma had a look at the rope; it was braided with small pieces of metal wire. The rope went from the mast down below, through the ship and under the door to Edward's room at the bow.

A few minutes later, another bolt of lightning struck the mast spike. The rope crackled and smoked. This time there was a whining noise coming from Edward's room.

Where the rope snaked over the deck, it left a charred trail on the wood. Captain Owens was asked, by the party, if he worried about this, but he seemed to trust Edward's assurances.

The Bishop, Deacon and Tess were doing Vespers in the chapel when the lightning struck. The flash lit up the chapel quite artistically though the stained-glass window on the ceiling. They could hear the whining too. [ Tess played by Charlotte this week ]

Captain Owens

Mon 21-Apr

In the morning, it was still raining hard and there was quite a sea, but the lightning no longer raged.

After Prime mass, the ship's compliment loaded the two jolly boats with Edward's equipment and went ashore. Edward walked the queen, stiffly, into the centre of the island, and sat her down in a sturdy chair which had been placed next to the cairn. Edward fashioned a metal helmet, with a cross on it, for her head, and connected it to his equipment.

Edward activated his gear, the three men-at-arms turning cranks, and he gave a nod to the Bishop who began the ritual. Again, it was the funeral mass done in reverse Latin. At the culmination of the service, the grass in the circle suddenly went brown, and the archway through the cairn went dark. The queen, on the chair, rolled her eyes, opened her mouth and screamed, then thrashed about convulsing and writhing as if in agony. Everyone tensed and covered their ears from the deafening howls, worried what would happen next. But the convulsions and spasms faded and stopped.

Then her eyes lolled, and focused on Tess, staring intently. Her mouth and tongue gibbered and flapped. Then she spoke. It was Irish Gaelic. The words started off raspy and sibilant, but got clearer as she spoke. (Only Tess and Edward could understand Gaelic.)

"Cé tusa? Cé tusa?! Cé tusa?! Cé tusa?!!"

"Ah... Tugtar Tess orm," said Tess. "I am Tess."

"Bráithre! Bráithre!" the queen said. "Is mise mo bhráithín daor."

"She says I am now ... her servant," translated Tess. "Her ... erm ... hand-maiden."

"Fola. Tá fuil orm. Anois! Anois!! Anois!!!"

Queen Elizabeth (post-blood)

"And she says she needs to drink," said Tess. "Um... drink blood. Now. Urgent."

Roma muttered quietly "Vampire."

The queen scanned everyone present, eyes alighting on each, staring into their very souls: Bishop John Dee and Edward, the four men-at-arms (Sergeant Evans, and the three privates Smith, Staines and O'Halloran [ Private Smith guest-played by Andreas ]), the party, and the group of twelve jolly Jack Tars off the Golden Hind.

"Níl aon duine anseo íon, ach amháin tú féin agus tú," She pointed at the Deacon and then to Tess. 

"She states that no-one here is pure except the Deacon ... and me," translated Tess. "It seems you have all had ... carnal knowledge in your pasts. I don't think she can consume blood of the ... sullied. I did ... er... think I was sullied, but maybe the 'conversion' made me pure again."

After a bit, the Deacon came forward and offered his hand to Edward, who used a small blade to cut the Deacon's wrist, and then bled him into a cup. Then Edward put a dollop of some cold stinging unguent on the wound, and covered it with a piece of sticky cloth. This stopped the bleeding. 

Edward gave the cup to the queen: "Fola an sagart a thugtar duit. The Deacon's blood, given for you."

She drank it down in one. Blood came out her eyes.

Roma said "Vampire" again.

Edward frowned at Roma and said: "Those foul creatures can not function during the day. And they have bitey teeth. Do you see such teeth on our great Queen here? No. So don't say that word again."

"How often need she feed?" asked Art.

Edward asked the queen quietly, and then he said sheepishly "Um ... Six times a day."

"How many times can the Deacon and Tess give blood before they will start to ... be harmed?"

Edward thought about this for a while. "We don't really want them killed. So, I would say, three cups a day for two days, each, should be fine, but then they must wait for ... erm ... many weeks, to refresh ..." He interrupted the look of concern on their faces. "... but we will make for Baltimore on the next tide, and round up some pure ... criminals, urchins and strays, and volunteers."

They began to load all the arcane gear back on to the ship.

The queen was ensconced in Edward's room (his laboratory) using the stout chair as a make-shift throne. Tess was required to stay with her all the time as her hand-maiden. Tess did her hair and made-up her face. Todd Unctuous had, understandably, no experience with make-up, nor lady coiffure, but, as Tess, seemed to manage remarkably well. Maybe he found his feminine side. [ excellent rolls done ].

Queen Elizabeth was 70 when she died, but already the signs of aging, and the signs of being dead and embalmed for three weeks, were beginning to lessen. Maybe it was the blood, maybe it was the recent ritual.

El Gato Diablo, Ab's cat familiar, joined Tess and the queen in Edward's room, and spent the time curled up on some cushions in the corner of the lab. Ab had learned a lot more "remote control" of El Gate, so having another pair of eyes on the room seemed a good idea.

Four hours later, all the gear was tidied up, and the ship pulled back from Bosun Island and achored for the night.

"We will head for Baltimore in the morning," said Captain Owen.

After None mass, it was Tess's turn to give blood. Like with the Deacon, Edward cut her wrist. He bled out two cups of blood. One he gave the queen to drink; the other for later.

Tess briefly considered consorting with someone to break her purity and thus save on "blood donations". Handsome and charismatic Elrick was a superb candidate, and he was certainly keen. But there was still the mind of Todd Unctuous in Tess's womanly body, and the thought of doing that with a man turned his/her stomach.

Someone suggested that the Spanish girl be used as a blood donor, but the queen quickly discounted her. The act of sidhe gender re-assignment apparently made one pure (Todd was a bit of a lad in his past, yet Tess was now pure), but when the hapless Spanish prisoner was being held in chains in the Baltimore barracks' cells, half the garrison had "conjugally-visited" her.

The Spanish girl was beginning to learn a few words of English (and John Dee was fluent in Spanish), so she had a name now. Before the change, he was called Lucas, now she named herself "Lucia". She was on the path of becoming a fully-fledged NPC.

While Tess was alone with the queen in Edward's lab, she examined his impressive library. Tess could read Latin and English, so had no trouble at least reading the spines:

Prague Golem - Play-Golem's
Golem of the Year, 1602

• Trithemian Steganography
• Marsilio Ficino's Neo-Platonism
• Studia Humanitatis.
• Cosimo de' Medici's The Schism  
• Reuchlin's De arte cabalistica libri tres, iam denua adcurate revisi, 1530.
• Francesco Giorgi's De harmonia mundi
• Necronimicon
• Voynich Manuscript
• Demonicron
• Taverner's Book of Angels
• Dr. Dee's Book of Spirits
• The seven main versions of the Quran: Nafi`, Ibn Kathir, Abu `Amr al-`Ala', Ibn `Amir, Hamzah, al-Qisa'i and Abu Bakr `Asim.
• Wycliffe's Bible 1388, hand-copied
• Various printed versions of the Bible: Tyndale Bible, 1526; Coverdale Bible, 1535; Matthew's Bible, 1537; Taverner's Bible, 1539; Great Bible, 1539; and Geneva Bible, 1560. [ note, the King James Bible comes out in 8 year's time ]
• J.P. Sopwith's Dummy's Guide to Physics
• And a good selection of golem pornography (Play-Golem, Lewd Things to Make with Clay, Clay Boy, Suck My Name)

The night passed quietly.

Tue 22-Apr

After Terce, the Deacon used his innate healing "blessing" skill on himself. Not only did this heal the wrist wound, but it restored the lost blood. So, the next time Edward came to collect blood from the Deacon, he was most surprised.

"Your group astounds me more and more, with your preternatural abilities," Edward said to him. "You do know that healing ability will get you burned as a witch if the Church finds out?"

Ab had two healing potions that he had brewed when last in Baltimore. He gave one to Tess when she returned from Sext. It had a similar effect to the Deacon's blessing - healed the wound and restored the blood. So, the next time Edward came to collect blood from Tess, he was, again, surprised.

"Your group astounds me more and more, with your preternatural abilities," Edward said to Tess and Ab. "You do know that healing ability will get you burned as a witch if the Church finds out?"

Later on in the trip, Roma had an idea to get the queen to eat some of the magic sand; maybe it would change her to a man, maybe it would affect her in other ways, maybe it would "destroy this vampire". He conspired with Ab to slip a pinch of sand into the blood cup the next time the queen fed. This required the Deacon or Tess's tacit assistance. Tess made it clear that she would not help. Nevertheless, it was all set up to happen, with a diversion using El Gato, and Roma's sleight-of-hand. But the Deacon got cold feet and they decided not to attempt it.

They arrived in Baltimore harbour late afternoon (after None). The Brig HMS Dreadful was still docked at the wharf, but the Painted Lady of Riga was gone.

As soon as the ship was secured to the wharf, Ab scurried off and went straight to St Mary's. He found Father O'Reilly and pleaded for a confession. Father O'Reilly sat dumb-founded in the confessional as Ab spilled his guts with not only venial sins, but a host of mortal sins too: wild stories of little-people magic, sidhe gender re-assignments, magical storms and lightning, participation in the raising of an undead queen, the undead creature drinking blood of a priest, magical potion brewing and cat familiars. Father O'Reilly thought he was dealing with someone touched in the head, as all these confessions out-weighed the total of all the confessions he had ever heard. The good Father, like most Baltimorians, had always seen Ab as a weird, social pariah (not helped by his stomach-turning visage), and this rambling confession only helped to cement that belief.

After Ab had finished, the Father paused and digested the extensive litany "Perform ten Rosaries, my son, and then give what you can to the Church. Give until it hurts."

Queen Elizabeth

Fri 18-Apr-1603 (8-Apr) continued...

The party was on-board John Dee's merchant ship the Golden Hind.

"We should be at Long Island by noon," said Bishop John Dee. "But in the mean time, Deacon, will you join me for Terce? We have a consecrated chapel on board. Consecrated by none other than ... the Pope himself! Clement the Eighth."

The Deacon couldn't say no. So he and Tess [ Tess played by Grace this week ] accompanied the Bishop below decks to the chapel. A peaceful room amidships, below decks, with a stained glass window on its ceiling.

During the Terce service, Tess could swear she heard singing; a heavenly choir, women's voices. The Deacon did too. But they couldn't identify the source. It seemed to come from everywhere, and only when the Bishop was performing the service. He claimed he heard nothing. Though, he had claimed the other day that "he could commune with angels".

Spanish gender-reassigned prisoner

They got to Long Island about noon. After performing the Sext service (again, with the heavenly choir), Bishop Dee asked the party to accompany the Spanish girl, Edward Kelley and three men-at-arms to the shore. He told the Spanish girl that she wouldn't be kept in irons if she behaved herself.

Art took them to the site of the battle, and to the spot where the Spanish sailor had had his gender re-assignment.

Edward Kelley wandered about. He was carrying a strange device, like a two sycamore seeds joined together on a stick. He called it his "orphic dowser". He would pause in different spots, and spin the device. It would float to the ground and he would check at this exact spot.

The "melted" body of the Spaniard was where the party had left it on Tuesday. It had started to rot in the warm spring sun and was already fly-blown. Edward knelt next to it, and used a paring knife to take little flesh samples, which he placed into glass ampules. His orphic dowser, when done near the body, would land on corpse's mouth every time. So he took some samples from there too.

When Edward was done, he suggested the corpse be given a burial, so he ordered the men-at-arms to dig a grave, and the Deacon performed a commitment ceremony.

Back on board, the ship made for Lamb Island; where the party had been on Sunday night. During this trip, Bishop Dee performed the None service for the Deacon and Tess.

At Lamb Island, they went ashore and the group showed Edward all the spots they remembered of this place, the woods where the nymph was seen by Roma, and the spot where Todd had his gender re-assignment into Tess. Edward's orphic dowser got a few good detections all over the place.

Lamb Island sidhe cairn

Beyond the forest, the ground sloped upwards. Here there was a large mushroom-ringed sidhe circle with a stone cairn in the centre. And beyond that, a cliff which marked the other side of the island.

Roma, Elrick and Art were brave enough to cross over the mushroom-line boundary and into the circle. There was no ill effect. The stone cairn was built in the shape of an arch; no-one was brave enough to crawl through it.

Edward did an extensive set of tests with his orphic dowser while they were playing. He scratched his head and did some calculations, then announced to no-one in particular: "This place is perfect. I think we have the power."

Roma spotted a skeleton at the base of the cliff above the high tide line. He climbed down. It had a bronze crucifix, which he rescued. Roma was still carrying the sidhe sand (that had changed Todd to Tess, etc) on his person, and while doing so, the crucifix burned him if he tried to wear it. He experimented, and if he didn't carry the sand, then the crucifix would not burn..

As it was approaching dark, they all returned to the Golden Hind; no-one was brave enough to chance staying the night ashore. Captain Owens pulled the ship back a bit further from the shore. This was probably a good idea, because during the night they saw eerie lights in the vicinity of the cairn, and shadowy figures in the woods.

The Bishop took the Deacon and Tess for Vespers, then, at different stages during the night, for Compline, Matins and Lauds.

Sat 19-Apr

After breakfast (and Prime), Bishop Dee and Edward assembled the men-at-arms, the ship's crew, and the party. Then he burst into beautiful plain-song:

"Procedamus in pace
In nomine Christi, Amen
Cum angelis et meretricibus dantur mercedes
niamur, triumphatori mortis:
'Hosanna in excelsis'

Levate portae capita vestra, non canino:
Et elevamini portae aeternales:
et introibit rex gloriae.
Quis est iste rex gloriae?

I commune with angels. I've done it all my life.
What I am about to say; it may engender strife.
The good Lord has commanded me, to follow His decree.
To help the world and England, as loyal as I can be.

So what I have below this deck, I'm sure you will support,
A golden casket. much bejeweled, as like something wrought,
Within the casket, to be sure, is something good and blessed,
Lies the body, in her state, of our great Queen Elizabeth."

Jaws dropped all round.

"Queen Elizabeth?!"

Elrick whispered to Roma: "How long's she actually been dead?

"Um.. three or four weeks."

The locked doors down in the hold were opened, and the men-at-arms carried a gold coffin onto the deck.

The two jolly boats were loaded with equipment from Edward Kelley's work-room: strange wires, pipes, bellows, tubes and blown-glass vessels. And large brass hoops and balls. This equipment and the casket was ferried to the shore, and transported to the sidhe circle where Edward set it all up. The casket was brought forth and placed on a trestle table right next to the cairn. This took several hours, and it was well past noon when they finished.

The entire ship's company had been used in this undertaking, and there was a skeleton crew (and the Spanish girl) left on board the Golden Hind.

The party stationed themselves outside the circle. Ab and Roma even further back by the woods.

Then Edward activated his gear and got it humming. Mechanical force was supplied by the men-at-arms cranking handles and turning wheels, and there was a small wood brazier to provide distillation heat and to burn incense. Edward gave a nod to Bishop Dee, and he began the service.

Deacon O'Reilly recognized it as a funeral mass in Latin, but half-way through, the Bishop started to read the Latin words backwards. The instant this began, in the woods where Roma and Ab were sheltering, the trees started to rustle, even though there was no wind.

Queen Elizabeth

The corpse stirred, gave a raspy sigh, then it sat up, stiffly. Queen Elizabeth had been embalmed, but, even so, the body had desiccated considerably. Also, she was seventy, was completely bald, and wore a wig and ornamental head-gear. Finally, her face had been heavily made up, in corpus status, so was painted white. So, when this corpse thing sat up, there were quite a few gasps of concern.

The Bishop paused mass, Edward approached the dried corpse, forced open its mouth, and placed a piece of paper inside. The Bishop composed himself and managed to complete the rest of the  "funeral" mass.

The corpse turned to the side and stiffly climbed out of the casket, and stood there, unmoving.

Edward was delighted, he all but capered around the corpse. Its dead eyes were on him all the time; so much so, that when he capered behind it, the head spun right around.

By now, all the grass in the sidhe circle had died, and was already turning brown.

Bishop Dee, the party, and men-at-arms, didn't look very pleased.

"This isn't natural," said Tess to the Deacon in a hoarse whisper.

"You think..?!" Deacon was never very good at not using sarcasm.

"She lives! She lives!" said Edward.

Well aware of the time, the Bishop ordered everything packed up again. Even more so than last night, they did not want to be on the island after dark now.

All the equipment was reboxed and ferried back to the boat again. Edward escorted the lumbering corpse queen back to the boat, and stiffly walked her into his room.

He kept his door locked. Later that evening, Roma did make an attempt to get in, but the lock was more complex than he was used to.

After dark, there was less activity on the island than the previous night.

Sun 20-Apr

In the morning, after Prime, the Deacon called a breakfast meeting, including the party, Bishop Dee, Edward, Captain Owens and the Sergeant at arms: Sergeant Evans

"This is a blasphemy in the sight of the Lord," said the Deacon. "An abomination..."

"Yet the Lord instructed the good Bishop to do this," interrupted Edward. "Nay, 'demanded'."

Bishop Dee nodded wanly.

"It is unnatural," said Sergeant Evans. "It should be destroyed."

"Burn it," said Captain Owens.

"'SHE'", said Edward. "Not 'it'."

They argued on and on. Noone wanted this thing in their midst, except for Edward, and Bishop Dee. On Edward's side, apparently angels did regularly commune with the Bishop and told him that God wanted him to resurrect Queen Elizabeth, to 'make England great again.' So the Bishop was still giving Edward tacit support, even though he was getting more and more horrified each hour at what they had made.

"Well, why can't we get her to speak then?" asked the Deacon. "She doesn't seem very alive."

Roma thought she was a vampire. His Romany origin was near the kingdom of Wallachia, so that theory made perfect sense to him. Though, he seemed to remember that sunlight burned vampires, and this one seemed unfazed.

"Yes," admitted Edward. "More work must be done to fix that. But we have exhausted the power of Lamb Island. Do you know of other areas of the Little People?"

The party didn't, but Tess had heard of one when she (as Todd) lived in Cork: Bosun island [ +4 on her Knowledge roll ]. About another half-day's travel away.

"We will head for there," said Edward.

Spanish Treasure

Wed 16-Apr-1603 (6-Apr) continued ...

Deacon Father O'Reilly [Shane] and Tess returned to St Mary's. Father O'Reilly confronted them.

"Where is Todd? And who's this floosie?" he demanded.

The Deacon let loose with the carefully crafted lie: "We were attacked by Ottomans on last night, by Lamb Island. Brave Art Bowman [Jeff], from the barracks, scared them off. But a stray shot killed poor Todd dead. We wept. When Art and Elrick [Ian] pursued the fleeing Ottomans, they found an abandoned prisoner: this young lady, Tess."

"Well, we can't have no whores nor Jezebels stayin' here!"

"I'm not a whore," said Tess.

"So yuh gave yuh charms away fer free then, harlot?"

"I'm pure. I'm not a harlot."

"Soot yer mowt, Jezebel."

"She can stay in the woodshed, Father," said the Deacon.

"A few nights only. Oi'll write to St Margaret's convent at Cork; they cin have the whore," said the Father.

He stomped off. Tess moved into the woodshed. Todd was used to sleeping here anyway. This is where he had to serve penance when he had erred in the past. So, she tidied the pallet, and made up the bed.

On the other side of town, Ab [Darryl] returned to his cottage. He had time to fire up the cauldron, and start up a brew before dark. The herbs he had got from Long island was enough for him to cook a healing mix. He got the fire going and got the water heating, and then had a little snooze in the late afternoon sun.

He was in a dream. It was so vivid. On a ship, looking out over the water. To an island. Wait a minute, that was Long Island. And there's the wreck we were at only yesterday. His mind's eye was onboard the Spanish ship!

Two long boats were returning across the water towards the ship. Each carrying an iron box.
Then his vision changed: he was scampering across the deck, dog or cat eye-height, and he scurried down a companion-way into a cabin. Then curled up on a cushion.

Ab rushed off to the Squire's Daughter inn to tell Roma [Chris] and Elrick this. The Spanish had treasure from the wreck.

"We'll grab the others in the mornin'," said Roma. "Get the Painted Lady to take us."

Thu 17-Apr

Like Ab, Deacon had a strange dream too. It was the grey light of early dawn, and he was looking down at his body ... a nude body ... but it wasn't his body, it was a woman's body. Hands were there; on the breasts, belly, groin, touching herself, caressing, fingering. He could hear panting, moaning...  Suddenly, he recognized the inside of the woodshed, and recognized that moaning voice. Tess!

Then he was wide awake, back in his bed, in the bedroom of the church cottage. He leapt out of bed and ran to the woodshed. Tess was awake, holding her sheets up, looking guilty as hell.

"Keep yer hands to yourself!" he barked. That didn't come out right; she was. He paused, then continued: "Genesys 38. You know the story of Onan, the good Lord slew him for such acts."

"Onan had carnal knowledge of his wife Tamar," said Tess. "And he withdrew early and 'spilled his seed on the ground'. Denying the levirate* inheritance. That was why the Lord slew him."

"Well, the sentiment is there!"

"Yes, Deacon." said Tess resignedly.

[ * = a levirate wife is when a childless widow marries the brother of her deceased husband. If there are sons, they inherit the deceased husband's wealth. If there are none, the brother gets it. ]

Down at the docks, Roma easily convinced Captain Galvenā-Krastmala ("Main-yard" in Latvian) with the promise of treasure to make sail immediately. The HMS Dreadful left late yesterday so probably didn't have time to engage the Spanish. They might be able to get there in time.

Sure enough, by the time they got to Long Is, the Dreadful was fully engaged with the Spanish ship. Its six guns didn't stand a chance against the 14 gun brig, and was in the process of sinking.

While the English were fishing the Spaniards out of sea, the Painted Lady pulled alongside the listing Spanish ship. Roma and Art swung over, with magnificent grace and style [ superb Agility all round ], and made their way down into the hold to search. Here they found one of the strong boxes (that Ab's vision had observed the previous afternoon) and they hauled it up on deck, and roped it up.

El Gato Diablo

Back on the Painted Lady, Ab saw a black cat on the mast of the doomed ship. It fixed eyes with him, then climbed out on the foresail yard arm, and leapt gracefully onto the deck next to him. Then leapt onto his shoulders. This was unusual in its own right; normally animals were scared of Ab [ Ab has the Frightens Animals fault. This cat was the result of his gift: familiar.]

While the HMS Dreadful headed back to Baltimore, the Painted Lady swung past the wreck, and Elrick went for another swim. He managed to find some mollusk-encrusted bottles of wine, but then had to give up because the tide was rising.

Roma opened the locked trunk. Inside were gold coins, some silver ingots and some jewellery. They had agreed to split the treasure and the bottles with the Painted Lady's Captain and crew, so this was done.

When they returned to Baltimore, there was another ship in the harbour: The Golden Hind, a large merchantman.

To celebrate their new-found wealth, they went to the Squire's Daughter, and hit the ale. Gossip abounded. The Golden Hind, out of Falmouth, was transporting a pious bishop called John Dee. He was one of Queen Elizabeth's religious advisers before she died less than a month ago. Drinking to the gossipers, and to the ill-health of James 1st (the new king), the Deacon was rolling drunk pretty quickly. He vomitted and soiled himself. Tess decided she better take him back to the church. Art and Elrick accompanied to support the drunk, with Tess and Roma bringing up the rear.

John Dee

When they returned to St Mary's, all the church windows glowed. The place was well-lit from within; all the expensive beeswax candles had been lit. Father O'Reilly normally saved them for special occasions, and stuck to the tallow ones when he needed light. There were a bunch of soldiers in unusual livery around the front door.

Art confronted the soldiers. They were Bishop John Dee's retainers, and he had come to the church (closest to the docks) to pray. Father O'Reilly was performing ad hoc Vespers.

When Bishop Dee heard that the group was here, he summoned them inside.

"So you are the ones?" he asked.

"Uh, what 'ones'?"

"The Captain of the local barracks told me that you had brought in a Spanish lady. With a very dubious back-story behind her."

They looked at each other: "Um, yeah."

"Join me tomorrow at the Barracks, after first light. Bring your entire group."

"Yes, sir."

With that he dismissed them. Tess put the slurring Deacon to bed, then retired herself back to the woodshed. Elrick and Roma returned to their lodgings at the Squire's Daughter. Art returned to the barracks.

Fri 18-Apr, First Quarter

Captain Carmichael

When the group arrived at the barracks in the morning, all the soldiers, the entire company, were out, standing in parade formation, in their best uniforms. Captain Carmichael and his three lieutenants were dressed up too. Art was in his dress uniform in his squad, standing at attention with all the rest.

The party arrived and stood awkwardly to one side. Ab had his new cat, El Gato, sitting on his shoulders.

Up the path came the smartly dressed soldiers of the Golden Hind. Accompanied by Bishop Dee. Captain Carmichael saluted sharply to John Dee who gave him a nod.

"With the Lord's grace, let us retire to your office, Captain," said Bishop Dee.

"Yes, your grace," said the Captain.

John Dee beckoned the party over, then said to the Captain. "And bring, too, the Spanish girl forth."

The parade was dismissed and the party & co went to the Captain Carmichael's office. The three company Lieutenants and Sergeant Suarez too. The Spanish girl was brought too, in chains. She had had a rough few days: two black eyes, swollen lips, and was only clad in a torn shift.

It turned out that John Dee could speak Spanish. The same questions were asked of the girl as the other day, and this time there was no tittering or smirking.

"<So, you turned from a man into a woman? And this group was responsible for it?>"

"<Yes, my Lord.>"

"Captain," said the Bishop. "I request to take this Senorita into my custody. I trust you ... and your company ...  have finished with her yourself."

The Captain nodded. It was one less problem for him to deal with. The soldiers of Cork would just have to miss out on their comfort girl. And anyway. his men had had their fair share of "comfort" from her already.

"One other thing, Captain." said John Dee. "I heard that you had a reliquary of St Agatha. Thus, I have written a letter to the Primate of All Ireland. I request it to accompany the reliquary to be delivered so with. We can not have such an priceless item melted down or destroyed."

With that, John Dee and his retainers left, Spanish girl in tow. He asked for the party to accompany him as well, so Lieutenant Matthews gave Art permission again. The party went to the docks and boarded the Golden Hind. Then made sail.

Edward Kelley

John Dee had a companion on board called Edward Kelley. He had a certain intense air about him. It turned out that he was from Kinsale, only a day's travel from Baltimore, but had spent most of his life in England and in Bohemia.

John and Edward took Elrick, Roma and Art off to one side. Not only were they suspicious of the Spanish girl's origins, but they were casting doubt upon Tess too.

"She has a sidhe air about her," said Edward.

After a lot of thorough questioning, Elrick, and then Art, admitted the whole story was a lie. Both Todd-to-Tess and sailor-to-girl. Edward knew a lot about sidhe and fae, and put that down as a cause. John and Edward had a pet theory that the sidhe magic was of divine origin "the little people are still God's creatures" but fully acknowledged that the Church would look very dimly upon this theory. Comments of witchcraft and stake-burning abounded.

At no time did Roma did admit that he had used the sand on the Spaniards. So it was a mystery what was the origin of that conversion.

Thus, the Golden Hind was headed back to Long Island to investigate the site of this metamorphosis, and thence to Lamb Island.

The Reliquary

Roma Freeley - the "pikey" [ Chris ]

Tue 15-Apr-1603 (5-Apr)

On Long Island.

Three foreigners were down: one dead and two unconscious. Roma [Chris] took out the magic sand (the sand that had changed Todd into Tess) and scooped a small lump into each of the unconscious men's mouths. Then stepped back to watch.

Ab Siddy - the "hedge wizard" [ Darryl ]

Ab Siddy [Darryl] surreptitiously cast his reflexive Camouflage spell, and padded down to the edge of the woods where it met the beach. There were four foreigners there, out in the surf, using their jolly boat as cover, getting ready to leave. One was shouting orders.

"Mantén tu mierda abajo! Esos hijos de putas atacarán en cualquier momento."

Ab mumbled to himself "they be Spaniards," and watched them for a bit, then returned to the group.

Elrick - the "sailor" [ Ian ]

By the time Ab got back, one of the unconscious Spaniards was bucking and writhing, and the other one was convulsing so violently that his body formed a hoop and his ankles touched the back of his head. There was a sickening cracking of bone and then he shrieked hysterically. He rolled on his side and was still. Roma approached the stationary man warily, then recoiled in horror. The skin and flesh had started to melt off the wretch's bones.

The second Spaniard fared a little better. He started to cough violently, just like Tess the other day. And like Tess, he started coughing his insides out... then he just turned ... inside out, and coughed out a young woman. She had dusky skin, and jet black hair. Like Tess, she was unconscious and non-responsive, so  Roma bound her up,  leashed and gagged her, taking his own sweet time, enough to steal some exquisite cuddles.

Deacon F. O'Reilly - the "priest" [ Shane ]

Suddenly, there was a distant bang. Elrick [Ian] (using his navy knowledge) instantly recognized it as the blast from a canon. A second or two later, the leaves whispered above, and motes of dust danced around the party on the ground, as a load of grape-shot arrived at high speed. Most of the party were hit by the flying balls and wounded. They all scurried for cover.

Deacon O'Reilly [Shane], uninjured himself, moved from person to person and used his Healing blessings  to administer to each of the wounds.

Art - the "solider" [ Jeff ]

By now, out on the water, the four Spaniards were rowing back to their ship (moored half a mile off the island).

The tide had reached its lowest, and was so low that rocky reefs were starting to show in a ring around the island. Down the coast a little was the reason the group (and presumably the Spanish) was here; a wrecked ship was sitting, half submerged. It looked ten to twenty years old.

"Could be from the Spanish Armada," observed Roma. "That was fifteen years back."

Tess (Todd)

The group moved adjacent to the wreck, with the gagged and bound Spanish sailor-now-girl in tow, maintaining their cover in the woods. The Spanish ship fired a few more desultory blasts of grape-shot at their old location.

Elrick, who was a fair swimmer, swam out to the the wreck. He poked about, not willing to risk entering the dangerous hold proper, but he managed to get into the Captain's cabin where he found a sealed wooden tube. He returned it to the group. Father broke the tube's wax seal and opened it, and was greeted with a sheet of velum covered in Spanish writing and a small map of the British Isles. No-one could read Spanish, so they rolled it up and returned it to the tube.

Elrick returned to the wreck and poked around blindly at the gash in the ship's hold. He fished about and picked up something small and heavy. He cleared the muck off it; it was gold! He took it back to the group.

Father recognized it as St Agatha, and that it was a reliquary. It contained some thick red liquid - presumably the Saint's blood.

By now the tide had risen too high to allow Elrick to explore any more of the wreck.

"We need to get the Dreadful (English warship back in Baltimore) onto the Spanish ship there," stated Art [Jeff]. "They will take care of it."

It was getting dark.

They made a decision that would almost cost them their lives.

"We need to get back to Baltimore fast. Let's go now."

They hauled out their skiff, and slid it into the sea, and all clambered aboard, including the Spanish girl prisoner, who was still bound and leashed. Elrick manned the rudder and they set sail, into the breakers, with Roma clutching on at the bow. Roma had excellent night vision [ Fudge gift night vision which gives him vision like a star-light scope ] which was a good thing, because there was no moon and it was overcast.

Elrick dead-reckoned [ a Fudge gift can't get lost ] to Horse Island, and guessed this trip would take five hours. Already, there was a big swell and this was still in the lee of Long Is.

As they continued, the sea got bigger and bigger. However, only Roma could see this, and he would shout to Elrick above the din of the roaring sea, "Left! Left! Hard left! I mean the other left! Right! Left!". The wave tops were beginning to break, and so a wall of water would rush down the length of the skiff, utterly drenching everyone. In the pitch black, no-one could see the slightest thing, and Roma didn't always get a chance to scream "Wave!". All they could do was bail...  and bail ... and bail as water pounded and soaked them. Occasionally, the clouds would part and there'd be a few stars visible, but all this did was to highlight the horrendous silhouette of an approaching wave, twice the height of the mast, as it roared and foamed towards them.

Time passed, waves crashed, wretches bailed, Roma screamed, but Elrick's skill and determination prevailed [ four boating rolls made; had any failed, it would have broken up the boat, ... and no-one could swim, except Elrick ] and the sea dropped as they entered the bay of Horse Is. Friendly twinkling lights shone from the house overlooking. The group staggered up the path and were greeted by the inhabitants, (most of whom they knew from two nights ago anyway).

They were given dry clothes and warm beds. Father took the double bed with both Tess and the Spanish prisoner, platonically, to protect the girls from Roma.

In the morning, Father had a strange dream. He was floating out of his body, outside in the pre-dawn gloom, in the garden here. He looked down and gasped; he was a woman, or in the body of a woman, and she was trying to pee, but she was standing up, making a mess. He jumped, a hypnic jerk, and woke up, back in the bed. Tess was not next to him, though the Spanish girl was.

A short while later, Tess arrived back to bed. The Spanish girl was still tied up, and she had wet the bed. So Tess took her outside, while Father got the bedding changed.

Wed 16-Apr

After breakfast, they said their good byes and headed back out into the harbour, to cross over to Baltimore. This trip would be another six hours.

The swell had dropped a bit, and they were now running with the waves, so the trip wasn't so terrifying. But they still got utterly soaked.

They passed Lamb Island after three hours, and from then on, the sea got considerably smaller. They arrived in Baltimore early afternoon.

They all rushed to the garrison. Captain Carmichael, Baltimore commander, was summoned.

Straight away, he ordered a runner to be sent to the Brig Dreadful with a letter asking it to engage the Spanish.

The Spanish prisoner was questioned first.

"We found this Spanish girl on Long Island," said Private Art. "Maybe she is a ship's whore. She can't speak English."

The Capt summoned a Sergeant Suarez who could speak Spanish. Suarez questioned the girl, while everyone watched. The discussion was quite animated and Suarez and the girl ended up shouting at each other. He struck her across the face, and she fell to the ground.

"She claims she was changed into lady, by magic!" spluttered Suarez.

They all laughed.

"'She' was Spanish sailor hhoo was on ze island and accosted by your group, Private Art, and you... you changed hhher into a woman. I hhave asked hhher many time and she no change hher story."

"Put her in irons and throw her in the cells," said Carmichael. "We'll work on her later."

The girl was dragged off weeping.

"What will happen to her?" asked Roma.

"Most likely she'll end up as a comfort girl in Cork."

Captain Carmichael questioned the group about their trip. He didn't ask about Todd Unctuous nor Tess, probably assuming she was a maid or camp follower or whore, but he was particularly interested in the Long Is wreck.

The map tube parchment was unrolled on the table, and Suarez read it.

"These orders. For the ship Santa Maria. Eet give landing sites on England south coast. Eet not say much more."

The Captain then started asking many details about the wreck. Father tried to keep the presence of the gold St Agatha reliquary secret, but honest Elrick told all. The Captain confiscated the priceless item.

"This will belong to the Church of Ireland," he said.

"What about the Catholic church?" asked Father. "That is a Catholic reliquary!"

"What part of 'Church of Ireland' do you not understand?"

Father scowled.

"Will we get any of the treasure from the wreck?" asked Roma.

"You'll get your share. Plus you will get great thanks from the Primate."

"The Primate...?"

The Captain sighed. He'd have to explain this all again. "There are two Primates, that is, two heads of the Church of Ireland: the 'Primate of Ireland' and the 'Primate of All Ireland'. The former is the Archbishop of Dublin who is His Grace Adam Loftus. That latter, the superior of the two, is the Archbishop of Armagh who is His Grace Henry Ussher."

[ Queue monkey jokes ]