Returning Tess

Fri 25-Apr-1603 (15-Apr), Full Moon

The Golden Hind was well lit up all night, the gang-plank was raised, and it was permanently guarded. The party didn't want to risk anything, so kept well clear.

At first light, the brig HMS Dreadful left Baltimore, headed for Stakes Island.

"... to hunt for the evil child-murderer Ab Siddy," said Lieutenant Matthews, finishing his breakfast.

The group met up near the docks, and through the Deacon [ Shane ], tried to convince Tess (via the Familiar link) to put the magic sidhe sand into the queen's blood barrel.

"I am NOT going to do that," exclaimed Tess to him. [ Adding quietly "I'm an NPC, and the NPC Charter, 1982, clearly states that NPCs shall not take active nor dangerous roles, nor shall they burden any risk, especially while you lot sit on your fat arses, picking black-heads." ]

She did tell them four important things, however: "

1. The queen is still getting younger. My guess is that this seems to be a function of the lightning, rather than the blood. She is quite loquacious and outspoken now, and has toned down her abusive ad-libs (no more feck, whore, arse, bitch, slave slut, feck, quim, zounds, quint, and megaphone). 
2. The queen has no memory of her former life; at all. I think Edward has changed plans. He has christened her 'Elizabeth Stuart'.
3. I have not had to feed her since last night. Can we assume she is now being fed the other blood? 
4. We will be leaving Baltimore for Stakes Island later today after a final load of supplies.

"
The group hurriedly visited the chandler on the docks, and while the rest distracted the chandler's men, Roma [ Chris ] snuck into an apple barrel, and covered himself with apples.

As good luck would have it, this barrel was successfully loaded into the Golden Hind's hold without even being inspected, but as bad luck would have it, they loaded Roma's barrel upside down, and it was propped up by other cargo on either side, so he could not even wobble the barrel over. So he began the arduous task of hacking away at the inside lid with his delicate throwing knife.

Mid morning came around and Roma was still cutting and hacking. The Golden Hind disembarked.

The shallop.

The Deacon had borrowed another fishing boat, a shallop, off another of his parishioners, and the rest of the group (Elrick [ Ian ], Art [ Jeff ], Ab [ Darryl ], and the Deacon) headed off in pursuit; Elrick at the tiller. The irony of this was not lost upon anyone: an elaborate story had been concocted that claimed Ab was on Stakes Island, and here was the party, with Ab himself, headed for the very island that was, right now, being searched by the marines !

Elrick checked the weather with his new ability Weather Sense [ there had been an Experience Round ], and the prediction was clear and calm. And there would be a full moon tonight too.

Roma eventually got free of his barrel after a few hours of hacking. The Deacon had messaged Tess and sent her to the hold to meet Roma. She helped him with the final break-out. Roma was carrying the magic sand.

The rundlet barrel with the blood was no longer in the hold. The queen and her hand-maidens, Tess and Lucia, were now staying in Edward's laboratory (at the bow). Edward had taken another cabin in the stern, so they assumed that the blood rundlet was there.


A few hours later, the Golden Hind (with the shallop in pursuit) pulled into Stakes Island harbour. The HMS Dreadful was anchored out from the wharf. It had too deep a draft to get close, so the jolly boats had been used to get the marines and sailors on shore.

The Golden Hind pulled up nearby and also put out its anchor.

Private Smith

This gave Roma the chance he had been waiting for. He snuck into Edward's cabin, (using his pick-locks skill), while Edward was feeding the queen, and poured three-quarters of his sidhe sand supply into the rundlet, and shook it to mix it up. But on the way out, he was confronted by Private Smith, one of Edward's men-at-arms.

"Halt!" yelled the Private, lunging with his sword.

Roma threw the remaining sand into the Private's face, and then clambered up the steps onto the deck.

The Private yelled.

Roma leapt overboard, forgetting he couldn't swim, and splashed into the water. There was much raucous shouting on deck.

Roma sank like a stone, flailing and struggling.

Tess rushed up onto deck when the shouting began, and with the Deacon's voice ringing in her ears "jump", leapt overboard too.

The party's shallop was not far behind when this happened. Elrick gibed, and sailed over fast as he could, and then, being the best swimmer, dived into the water. He recovered Roma and guided his unconscious body close to the others to be hauled into the boat. Tess was in her Tudor dress, so its bulk kept her floating just like a life-jacket, long enough to be pulled on-board too. Elrick clambered back on board, and got the shallop underway again.

By this time, the men-at-arms on the Golden Hind had got their wheel-locks loaded, and they opened up in a volley of musketry. Most of the shots missed. However, one good one smacked right into the back of poor Roma, who was just coming around after being cured (of water inhaling) by the Deacon. The musket ball smashed through his lung, and the hapless chap dropped, unconscious again.

Elrick broad-reached as fast as he could; full speed. He guessed he had fifteen minutes before the Golden Hind could get underway, and when that happened, they'd be in big trouble. The Hind with full sail was easily twice as fast as the shallop.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang and a splash in the water nearby. This was the swivel cannon at the bow of the Golden Hind - thankfully the big 6 and 12 pounder cannons couldn't be deployed until the ship was underway. Everyone ducked down, and hoped and prayed. The distance was increasing every minute. A few more swivel cannon shots splashed nearby, and then they rounded the northern point of Stakes island.

Elrick hurriedly sailed into the first bay, everyone jumped out, they dropped the mast, and pulled the boat into the trees, which luckily went right down to the beach edge. Then they all hunkered down and waited. The Deacon took this opportunity to cure poor Roma of his musket ball wound.

Twenty minutes later, the Golden Hind sailed around the point too. It failed to spot anything [ a -4 on the lookout's Fudge dice: "oh, look at the funny cloud" ] and merrily headed off into the distance along the Stakes Island southern coast.

The group stayed hidden and immobile for some more time. As luck would have it, this was an uninhabited bay.

Further down the coast, in the direction the Golden Hind had sailed, they noticed glinting of metal on a beach, maybe two Irish miles away. The guess was that these were the marines from the Dreadful, still methodically searching the island for Ab.

The party waited an hour (the marines were thorough and didn't advance very fast), two hours before sunset, then pulled the shallop out, and headed off into the open sea. At this time of the year, the sun set almost at 9pm, and there was a full moon, so they headed back to Baltimore sailing half the night.

Sat 26-Apr

Early in the morning, they arrived back in Baltimore harbour. Ab and Roma melted into the woods and onto Coney Island (very close to Baltimore and walkable at low tide). The Deacon and Tess returned to St Mary's, Elrick to the inn, and Art to the barracks.

Edward had told Tess that the Golden Hind was headed for Cork, so they weren't particularly worried about it returning to Baltimore.

Art figured that he had until the HMS Dreadful arrived back in Baltimore before he would be in trouble, so he reported some creative untruths to Lieutenant Matthews:

• Roma was seen dragged on to the Gold Hind.
• We followed in a fishing boat.
• We got on board the Golden Hind at Stakes Island and rescued Roma.
• Roma claimed he saw a barrel of blood and offal in the Hind.
• We were shot at and chased by the Hind. We took cover on Stakes Island.
• Roma ran off.
• We returned to Baltimore during the night.

Ab's poor mother had been tortured the previous day and had confessed everything. She signed a confession stating that she and Ab Siddy had performed satanic rituals on the bodies of the two boys, which involved draining their blood. As this was a capital crime, she would have to be tried by the Circuit Magistrate who would need to come from Cork. Dispatches had been sent.



Later in the afternoon, the HMS Dreadful arrived back in Baltimore. By this time, Art had made himself scarce. He arranged for one of his barrack mates, Private Paddy O'Driscoll, to give a secret signal to indicate if Art was in trouble.

Sure enough, Paddy gave the signal, and so Art stayed away from the barracks, and joined Ab Siddy and Roma on Coney Island. Failure to turn up would make him AWOL at the very least, so now Art was officially on the run too.

The Deacon and Tess returned to St Mary's. Elrick returned to the Squire's Daughter.

Missing Boys

Tue 22-Apr-1603 (12-Apr) continued ...

No sooner had Ab Siddy left the premises of St Mary's after his confession, then the Deacon arrived.

Father O'Reilly

He sat Father O'Reilly down and began to confess himself. The Deacon basically confirmed all the wild and outlandish tales of Ab.

"So, is all true?" said Father O'Reilly, aghast, his face pale with worry.

The Deacon nodded.

"So, you been consorting wit demons 'n' magic? Breakin' many mortal sins?"

"But the Good Bishop John Dee seems a very pious and good man," said the Deacon. "He has a chapel set up on board, and performs many services each day." He added: "Many many services."

"Neverth'less, my nephew," said Father O'Reilly. "You up to yer pretty necks in evil. I respect the sanctity of confession, Deacon, but think this ... evil ... must be told to the Powers-That-Be. Can I write to the Bishop of Cork. And ... and even to the good Archbishop of Armagh - the Primate himself?"

The Deacon nodded.

Ab decided that he wanted to contact the Little People (the sidhe). So, after dark, Ab and Roma went off into the wilds, around the countryside of Baltimore, looking for them. After most of the night, the only thing to show was one wolf howl [ Irish wolves extinct in 1786 ], so they returned to the town; Ab to his house, Roma to the inn.

Wed 23-Apr

As Roma and Elrick were having breakfast in the Squire's Daughter, the serving wench waiting their table mentioned: "Have yuh heard th' news?"

Blank stares.

"The mayor's son, the O'Driscoll lad, has gone missin'. And the boy of the O'Hallorans, Patrick, also run away. Folks is searchin' now. If you see them, tell the Watch."

She looked up from her tray, and their table was empty, apart from a spinning cup and plate.

Back at St Mary's, the Deacon and Father O'Reilly were having breakfast. The Father showed the Deacon his carefully-crafted letter, ready to send to the bishops. The Father summarized:

• Bishop John Dee and Edward Kelly (from London and Cork) are devil worshippers and witches and alchemists and necromancers.
• Edward performs alchemy and other sorcerous practices on the ship, sometimes even using lightning.
• Bishop Dee performs unholy rituals in reverse Latin.
• They have the dead body of Queen Elizabeth on their ship, The Golden Hind, in Baltimore harbour.
• They have resurrected the Queen using foul magics into some kind of demon creature. And it now drinks blood.
• Edward has a collection of banned and evil books.
• Todd Unctuous, Assistant Deacon, has been turned into a woman, now called Tess, by foul magic.
• Lucia, a Spanish whore, likewise.

"That'll do," said the Deacon.

The Father sealed his letters and left for the barracks. It would presumably be taken to Cork with the next batch of military dispatches

Roma and Elrick, with Ab, arrived at St Mary's and told the Deacon the news. He leapt to the same conclusion: the boys were harvested for their pure blood.

Art Bowman was back in the barracks. He heard through the grapevine about the missing boys. There wasn't much official interest in "a couple of Irish brats who ran away". ('The Watch' was a local militia and didn't involve the barracks soldiers.) But he did find out their ages: 11 and 12.

Lieutenant Matthews, Art's immediate commander, ordered Art to stick with the group.

Hand-maiden Tess

The group met at the docks next to the Golden Hind. Ab sent El Gato Diablo (his cat familiar) surreptitiously on board. It explored the ship's hold, and using its superb sense of smell, located a suspicious rundlet (a small barrel). It could smell traces of blood, and it could tell that this blood was human.

The Deacon was getting the hang of communicating with his familiar, Tess. She was on board, the queen's hand-maiden. So he asked her to join the group on the wharf.

Tess was dressed in a costly Tudor dress when she came elegantly down the gang plank. The first thing Tess asked the Deacon, was to cure her wrist, which he did with his healing magic. She had been solely responsible for feeding the queen, and was feeling rather drained. Tess had not seen Edward feed the queen any other blood. The ship was destined to stay in Baltimore "a few more days". Also, the queen's apparent age now was 55, but her rate of un-aging was slowing.

Hand-maiden Lucia

Ab then explained to Tess exactly where the blood barrel was located in the hold. Tess reboarded and went to the hold, as quietly as she could, and found the barrel. It had a cork in the side, so she dipped her finger in and sure enough: blood. But on the way out of the hold, Private Smith (one of the Golden Hind men-at-arms) spotted her. She quickly made up some cock-and-bull story, then hurriedly returned to Edward's room and the queen, before she could be questioned more.

Lucia was now staying with the queen, and she had been made into a hand-maiden too ("but not a pure one").

Ab was still wanting to contact the Little People. Last night's excursion with Roma had been fruitless, so he wanted to try another one of the uninhabited off-shore islands: Ferkin Island. He had a feeling in the back of his mind that this was a good place to look.

So, the Deacon borrowed a boat from one of the fishermen in St Mary's congregation, and the party (sans Tess) set off with Elrick at the tiller. It was a solid half-day's trip and they would arrive at Ferkin island just after dark, but Elrick wasn't too worried, since the weather was good.

But, as the afternoon dragged on, the wind switched to the West, picked up, and white caps started to form. Then it got dark. No problem: there was still star light, and the moon was almost full. However, after an hour, a large bank of clouds came from the west and blotted out the stars, the moon and the entire sky. And then the storm hit.

They all groaned "Not again!" [ This wasn't Deus ex cussedness. Significant weather had been pre-planned in advance for this night. ]

Again, Roma was at the bow, shouting directions to Elrick on the tiller. And, again, everyone bailing for their very lives, as huge waves broke over the boat.

"Breakers ahead!" screamed Roma, his voice tinged with terror.

Despite Elrick's excellent boat skills, he couldn't hold it, and the boat rolled in the mountainous seas. Luckily, they weren't too far from the Ferkin island beach, and luckily it was sandy. A few of the non-swimming wretches clung to the boat, and others to bits of flotsam. Only Ab was the unfortunate one, and he was tossed in the waves, like a piece of driftwood, and got washed up on the beach unconscious, and half-drowned.

The Deacon crawled over, using touch more than anything, and used his healing magic to cure Ab's drownedness.

They pulled the boat up the beach, right to the tree line, and used it to shelter from the storm, which was well and truly in full fight.

Far off in the stormy distance, six Irish miles away, Baltimore was behind a headland, but they knew roughly where it was. The storm was more violent there, and lightning was arcing down in the vicinity of the town, bolt after bolt. The guess was the Golden Hind's mast ball.

The Deacon concentrated and managed to make contact with Tess. She was huddled, terrified in the corner Edward's room, next to Lucia. Two large pelton wheels were spinning and arcing discharges all over the show. Large brass balls were sending bolts of lighting crashing into each other. The queen was strapped in the stout chair, with the weird helmet on, spasming and jerking, as bolts of power surged through her. Edward was rushing about, hair standing on end, flipping switches and turning cranks, and putting out fires.

Back on the beach edge, Ab put out some flasks of his home-brew whiskey. And spoke to the trees,

sidhe sand basket

hoping this was a sidhe place. Overcast, it was absolutely pitch dark; there was no star light, no light at all. Even the cat vision of Roma and El Gato could make nothing out.

A whispered voice, shouting over the wind and sea noise, spoke to Ab. Ab relayed info about the Golden Hind and how it had drained two sidhe circles. The voice admitted that sidhe magic worked best at night and in a full moon, and that if the ship struck during the day, they could not do much to stop it. But it did place a small basket of sand by Ab: "Put this in their drink."

The rest of the night passed without event.

Thu 24-Apr

The Deacon woke at first light. It was still overcast, but the wind had dropped a bit, though there was still a big surf. But there was something nagging on his mind. Tess? He tried to contact her, and got a broken link, and mental white noise.

Then, faintly: "Ab. Mother. Trouble." But he couldn't get a proper link.

Elrick took one look at the surf. "We can't launch in that," he said.

It wasn't until mid afternoon, before the waves had dropped enough to risk a launch. Even so, the first attempt failed, and they were all washed back on to the beach. But the second attempt was successful, and they sailed out into the choppy sea.

The Deacon tried again and managed to contact Tess this time.

Tess's tale was not good: "The bodies of the two missing boys were found in Ab's woodshed. His mother has been arrested and Ab is now wanted. He will be hanged."

They made landfall around the coast from Baltimore, an hour before sunset, and Ab vanished into the woods. The rest of the group sailed to Baltimore and returned the boat to the Deacon's fisherman acquaintance, then went into town.

Art reported straight to the barracks. Ab's "mammy" was in the barrack's cells in chains, but before Ab could speak with her, he was summoned to Lieutenant Matthews, and immediately questioned about Ab. The party had made up a cock-and-bull story to explain Ab:

1. Went on a fishing trip, with Ab Siddy, to Stakes Island (also a half-day trip). 
2. Ab vanished into the woods there. 
3. The storm arrived; sheltered for the night.
4. Came home.

Art then tried to give Ab a cast-iron alibi.

"I happen to know, sir," volunteered Art. "That Ab Siddy was out almost th' entire murder night, wit Roma. So, he can surely vouch for Ab."

"That filthy pikey from Riga?!" exclaimed Lieutenant Matthews. "So he's involved as well? Consider him under arrest, Private Bowman. Since you are embedded with that group, make sure you grab him, tout de suite."

Art headed out and rendezvoused with the Deacon. Ab's house was not guarded, so Art and the Deacon checked it out. Ab had also made his way there (using back-roads and his Camouflage ability). Both Art and Ab had tracking skills, but soldier boots had stomped all over the ground obliterating any sign of tracks. Though, the farmland adjacent to Ab's land was un-traipsed, so they guessed that whoever planted the bodies, used the road. The house contents and Ab's brewing kitchen were in a shambles with things tipped out and smashed; a real mess, probably a result of the soldiers. There was lots of blood in the woodshed where the boys' bodies were found, and El Gato recognized it as human.

Queen's Hand-maiden

Sun 20-Apr-1603 (10-Apr) continued ...

Bosun Island was a tiny island, quarter of an Irish acre (circular, 50 paces across),  right next to Inishbeg Island. The island had a single sidhe circle which all but covered the entire island, and had a stone cairn like the one on Lamb Island.

Golden Hind

There was a large storm brewing and it hit just as Golden Hind made anchor; horizontal rain, howling wind and lightning. They were in a relatively sheltered bay, deep down the Donegal harbour, in the mouth of the river Ilen, five Irish miles from open sea, but even so, the storm severely rocked the boat bad enough that Captain Owens ordered a second anchor for the stern.

There were two hours left of the day, but the wise Captain suggested: "Baton down the hatches, lads. It's too dangerous to put the jolly boats out in this. We'll try in the mornin'."

A crack of lightning emphasized his words in stark silhouette.

Everyone went below, out of the driving rain. Except Roma. He was up on deck, when another crack of lighting struck the spike on the ball at the top of the mast. Roma was blown off his feet: ears ringing, sight blinded.

Edward Kelley came scurrying up from below, dragging a long rope. He inserted it into a hole at the foot of the mast, then went below again. Roma had a look at the rope; it was braided with small pieces of metal wire. The rope went from the mast down below, through the ship and under the door to Edward's room at the bow.

A few minutes later, another bolt of lightning struck the mast spike. The rope crackled and smoked. This time there was a whining noise coming from Edward's room.

Where the rope snaked over the deck, it left a charred trail on the wood. Captain Owens was asked, by the party, if he worried about this, but he seemed to trust Edward's assurances.

The Bishop, Deacon and Tess were doing Vespers in the chapel when the lightning struck. The flash lit up the chapel quite artistically though the stained-glass window on the ceiling. They could hear the whining too. [ Tess played by Charlotte this week ]

Captain Owens

Mon 21-Apr

In the morning, it was still raining hard and there was quite a sea, but the lightning no longer raged.

After Prime mass, the ship's compliment loaded the two jolly boats with Edward's equipment and went ashore. Edward walked the queen, stiffly, into the centre of the island, and sat her down in a sturdy chair which had been placed next to the cairn. Edward fashioned a metal helmet, with a cross on it, for her head, and connected it to his equipment.

Edward activated his gear, the three men-at-arms turning cranks, and he gave a nod to the Bishop who began the ritual. Again, it was the funeral mass done in reverse Latin. At the culmination of the service, the grass in the circle suddenly went brown, and the archway through the cairn went dark. The queen, on the chair, rolled her eyes, opened her mouth and screamed, then thrashed about convulsing and writhing as if in agony. Everyone tensed and covered their ears from the deafening howls, worried what would happen next. But the convulsions and spasms faded and stopped.

Then her eyes lolled, and focused on Tess, staring intently. Her mouth and tongue gibbered and flapped. Then she spoke. It was Irish Gaelic. The words started off raspy and sibilant, but got clearer as she spoke. (Only Tess and Edward could understand Gaelic.)

"Cé tusa? Cé tusa?! Cé tusa?! Cé tusa?!!"

"Ah... Tugtar Tess orm," said Tess. "I am Tess."

"Bráithre! Bráithre!" the queen said. "Is mise mo bhráithín daor."

"She says I am now ... her servant," translated Tess. "Her ... erm ... hand-maiden."

"Fola. Tá fuil orm. Anois! Anois!! Anois!!!"

Queen Elizabeth (post-blood)

"And she says she needs to drink," said Tess. "Um... drink blood. Now. Urgent."

Roma muttered quietly "Vampire."

The queen scanned everyone present, eyes alighting on each, staring into their very souls: Bishop John Dee and Edward, the four men-at-arms (Sergeant Evans, and the three privates Smith, Staines and O'Halloran [ Private Smith guest-played by Andreas ]), the party, and the group of twelve jolly Jack Tars off the Golden Hind.

"Níl aon duine anseo íon, ach amháin tú féin agus tú," She pointed at the Deacon and then to Tess. 

"She states that no-one here is pure except the Deacon ... and me," translated Tess. "It seems you have all had ... carnal knowledge in your pasts. I don't think she can consume blood of the ... sullied. I did ... er... think I was sullied, but maybe the 'conversion' made me pure again."

After a bit, the Deacon came forward and offered his hand to Edward, who used a small blade to cut the Deacon's wrist, and then bled him into a cup. Then Edward put a dollop of some cold stinging unguent on the wound, and covered it with a piece of sticky cloth. This stopped the bleeding. 

Edward gave the cup to the queen: "Fola an sagart a thugtar duit. The Deacon's blood, given for you."

She drank it down in one. Blood came out her eyes.

Roma said "Vampire" again.

Edward frowned at Roma and said: "Those foul creatures can not function during the day. And they have bitey teeth. Do you see such teeth on our great Queen here? No. So don't say that word again."

"How often need she feed?" asked Art.

Edward asked the queen quietly, and then he said sheepishly "Um ... Six times a day."

"How many times can the Deacon and Tess give blood before they will start to ... be harmed?"

Edward thought about this for a while. "We don't really want them killed. So, I would say, three cups a day for two days, each, should be fine, but then they must wait for ... erm ... many weeks, to refresh ..." He interrupted the look of concern on their faces. "... but we will make for Baltimore on the next tide, and round up some pure ... criminals, urchins and strays, and volunteers."

They began to load all the arcane gear back on to the ship.

The queen was ensconced in Edward's room (his laboratory) using the stout chair as a make-shift throne. Tess was required to stay with her all the time as her hand-maiden. Tess did her hair and made-up her face. Todd Unctuous had, understandably, no experience with make-up, nor lady coiffure, but, as Tess, seemed to manage remarkably well. Maybe he found his feminine side. [ excellent rolls done ].

Queen Elizabeth was 70 when she died, but already the signs of aging, and the signs of being dead and embalmed for three weeks, were beginning to lessen. Maybe it was the blood, maybe it was the recent ritual.

El Gato Diablo, Ab's cat familiar, joined Tess and the queen in Edward's room, and spent the time curled up on some cushions in the corner of the lab. Ab had learned a lot more "remote control" of El Gate, so having another pair of eyes on the room seemed a good idea.

Four hours later, all the gear was tidied up, and the ship pulled back from Bosun Island and achored for the night.

"We will head for Baltimore in the morning," said Captain Owen.

After None mass, it was Tess's turn to give blood. Like with the Deacon, Edward cut her wrist. He bled out two cups of blood. One he gave the queen to drink; the other for later.

Tess briefly considered consorting with someone to break her purity and thus save on "blood donations". Handsome and charismatic Elrick was a superb candidate, and he was certainly keen. But there was still the mind of Todd Unctuous in Tess's womanly body, and the thought of doing that with a man turned his/her stomach.

Someone suggested that the Spanish girl be used as a blood donor, but the queen quickly discounted her. The act of sidhe gender re-assignment apparently made one pure (Todd was a bit of a lad in his past, yet Tess was now pure), but when the hapless Spanish prisoner was being held in chains in the Baltimore barracks' cells, half the garrison had "conjugally-visited" her.

The Spanish girl was beginning to learn a few words of English (and John Dee was fluent in Spanish), so she had a name now. Before the change, he was called Lucas, now she named herself "Lucia". She was on the path of becoming a fully-fledged NPC.

While Tess was alone with the queen in Edward's lab, she examined his impressive library. Tess could read Latin and English, so had no trouble at least reading the spines:

Prague Golem - Play-Golem's
Golem of the Year, 1602

• Trithemian Steganography
• Marsilio Ficino's Neo-Platonism
• Studia Humanitatis.
• Cosimo de' Medici's The Schism  
• Reuchlin's De arte cabalistica libri tres, iam denua adcurate revisi, 1530.
• Francesco Giorgi's De harmonia mundi
• Necronimicon
• Voynich Manuscript
• Demonicron
• Taverner's Book of Angels
• Dr. Dee's Book of Spirits
• The seven main versions of the Quran: Nafi`, Ibn Kathir, Abu `Amr al-`Ala', Ibn `Amir, Hamzah, al-Qisa'i and Abu Bakr `Asim.
• Wycliffe's Bible 1388, hand-copied
• Various printed versions of the Bible: Tyndale Bible, 1526; Coverdale Bible, 1535; Matthew's Bible, 1537; Taverner's Bible, 1539; Great Bible, 1539; and Geneva Bible, 1560. [ note, the King James Bible comes out in 8 year's time ]
• J.P. Sopwith's Dummy's Guide to Physics
• And a good selection of golem pornography (Play-Golem, Lewd Things to Make with Clay, Clay Boy, Suck My Name)

The night passed quietly.

Tue 22-Apr

After Terce, the Deacon used his innate healing "blessing" skill on himself. Not only did this heal the wrist wound, but it restored the lost blood. So, the next time Edward came to collect blood from the Deacon, he was most surprised.

"Your group astounds me more and more, with your preternatural abilities," Edward said to him. "You do know that healing ability will get you burned as a witch if the Church finds out?"

Ab had two healing potions that he had brewed when last in Baltimore. He gave one to Tess when she returned from Sext. It had a similar effect to the Deacon's blessing - healed the wound and restored the blood. So, the next time Edward came to collect blood from Tess, he was, again, surprised.

"Your group astounds me more and more, with your preternatural abilities," Edward said to Tess and Ab. "You do know that healing ability will get you burned as a witch if the Church finds out?"

Later on in the trip, Roma had an idea to get the queen to eat some of the magic sand; maybe it would change her to a man, maybe it would affect her in other ways, maybe it would "destroy this vampire". He conspired with Ab to slip a pinch of sand into the blood cup the next time the queen fed. This required the Deacon or Tess's tacit assistance. Tess made it clear that she would not help. Nevertheless, it was all set up to happen, with a diversion using El Gato, and Roma's sleight-of-hand. But the Deacon got cold feet and they decided not to attempt it.

They arrived in Baltimore harbour late afternoon (after None). The Brig HMS Dreadful was still docked at the wharf, but the Painted Lady of Riga was gone.

As soon as the ship was secured to the wharf, Ab scurried off and went straight to St Mary's. He found Father O'Reilly and pleaded for a confession. Father O'Reilly sat dumb-founded in the confessional as Ab spilled his guts with not only venial sins, but a host of mortal sins too: wild stories of little-people magic, sidhe gender re-assignments, magical storms and lightning, participation in the raising of an undead queen, the undead creature drinking blood of a priest, magical potion brewing and cat familiars. Father O'Reilly thought he was dealing with someone touched in the head, as all these confessions out-weighed the total of all the confessions he had ever heard. The good Father, like most Baltimorians, had always seen Ab as a weird, social pariah (not helped by his stomach-turning visage), and this rambling confession only helped to cement that belief.

After Ab had finished, the Father paused and digested the extensive litany "Perform ten Rosaries, my son, and then give what you can to the Church. Give until it hurts."

Queen Elizabeth

Fri 18-Apr-1603 (8-Apr) continued...

The party was on-board John Dee's merchant ship the Golden Hind.

"We should be at Long Island by noon," said Bishop John Dee. "But in the mean time, Deacon, will you join me for Terce? We have a consecrated chapel on board. Consecrated by none other than ... the Pope himself! Clement the Eighth."

The Deacon couldn't say no. So he and Tess [ Tess played by Grace this week ] accompanied the Bishop below decks to the chapel. A peaceful room amidships, below decks, with a stained glass window on its ceiling.

During the Terce service, Tess could swear she heard singing; a heavenly choir, women's voices. The Deacon did too. But they couldn't identify the source. It seemed to come from everywhere, and only when the Bishop was performing the service. He claimed he heard nothing. Though, he had claimed the other day that "he could commune with angels".

Spanish gender-reassigned prisoner

They got to Long Island about noon. After performing the Sext service (again, with the heavenly choir), Bishop Dee asked the party to accompany the Spanish girl, Edward Kelley and three men-at-arms to the shore. He told the Spanish girl that she wouldn't be kept in irons if she behaved herself.

Art took them to the site of the battle, and to the spot where the Spanish sailor had had his gender re-assignment.

Edward Kelley wandered about. He was carrying a strange device, like a two sycamore seeds joined together on a stick. He called it his "orphic dowser". He would pause in different spots, and spin the device. It would float to the ground and he would check at this exact spot.

The "melted" body of the Spaniard was where the party had left it on Tuesday. It had started to rot in the warm spring sun and was already fly-blown. Edward knelt next to it, and used a paring knife to take little flesh samples, which he placed into glass ampules. His orphic dowser, when done near the body, would land on corpse's mouth every time. So he took some samples from there too.

When Edward was done, he suggested the corpse be given a burial, so he ordered the men-at-arms to dig a grave, and the Deacon performed a commitment ceremony.

Back on board, the ship made for Lamb Island; where the party had been on Sunday night. During this trip, Bishop Dee performed the None service for the Deacon and Tess.

At Lamb Island, they went ashore and the group showed Edward all the spots they remembered of this place, the woods where the nymph was seen by Roma, and the spot where Todd had his gender re-assignment into Tess. Edward's orphic dowser got a few good detections all over the place.

Lamb Island sidhe cairn

Beyond the forest, the ground sloped upwards. Here there was a large mushroom-ringed sidhe circle with a stone cairn in the centre. And beyond that, a cliff which marked the other side of the island.

Roma, Elrick and Art were brave enough to cross over the mushroom-line boundary and into the circle. There was no ill effect. The stone cairn was built in the shape of an arch; no-one was brave enough to crawl through it.

Edward did an extensive set of tests with his orphic dowser while they were playing. He scratched his head and did some calculations, then announced to no-one in particular: "This place is perfect. I think we have the power."

Roma spotted a skeleton at the base of the cliff above the high tide line. He climbed down. It had a bronze crucifix, which he rescued. Roma was still carrying the sidhe sand (that had changed Todd to Tess, etc) on his person, and while doing so, the crucifix burned him if he tried to wear it. He experimented, and if he didn't carry the sand, then the crucifix would not burn..

As it was approaching dark, they all returned to the Golden Hind; no-one was brave enough to chance staying the night ashore. Captain Owens pulled the ship back a bit further from the shore. This was probably a good idea, because during the night they saw eerie lights in the vicinity of the cairn, and shadowy figures in the woods.

The Bishop took the Deacon and Tess for Vespers, then, at different stages during the night, for Compline, Matins and Lauds.

Sat 19-Apr

After breakfast (and Prime), Bishop Dee and Edward assembled the men-at-arms, the ship's crew, and the party. Then he burst into beautiful plain-song:

"Procedamus in pace
In nomine Christi, Amen
Cum angelis et meretricibus dantur mercedes
niamur, triumphatori mortis:
'Hosanna in excelsis'

Levate portae capita vestra, non canino:
Et elevamini portae aeternales:
et introibit rex gloriae.
Quis est iste rex gloriae?

I commune with angels. I've done it all my life.
What I am about to say; it may engender strife.
The good Lord has commanded me, to follow His decree.
To help the world and England, as loyal as I can be.

So what I have below this deck, I'm sure you will support,
A golden casket. much bejeweled, as like something wrought,
Within the casket, to be sure, is something good and blessed,
Lies the body, in her state, of our great Queen Elizabeth."

Jaws dropped all round.

"Queen Elizabeth?!"

Elrick whispered to Roma: "How long's she actually been dead?

"Um.. three or four weeks."

The locked doors down in the hold were opened, and the men-at-arms carried a gold coffin onto the deck.

The two jolly boats were loaded with equipment from Edward Kelley's work-room: strange wires, pipes, bellows, tubes and blown-glass vessels. And large brass hoops and balls. This equipment and the casket was ferried to the shore, and transported to the sidhe circle where Edward set it all up. The casket was brought forth and placed on a trestle table right next to the cairn. This took several hours, and it was well past noon when they finished.

The entire ship's company had been used in this undertaking, and there was a skeleton crew (and the Spanish girl) left on board the Golden Hind.

The party stationed themselves outside the circle. Ab and Roma even further back by the woods.

Then Edward activated his gear and got it humming. Mechanical force was supplied by the men-at-arms cranking handles and turning wheels, and there was a small wood brazier to provide distillation heat and to burn incense. Edward gave a nod to Bishop Dee, and he began the service.

Deacon O'Reilly recognized it as a funeral mass in Latin, but half-way through, the Bishop started to read the Latin words backwards. The instant this began, in the woods where Roma and Ab were sheltering, the trees started to rustle, even though there was no wind.

Queen Elizabeth

The corpse stirred, gave a raspy sigh, then it sat up, stiffly. Queen Elizabeth had been embalmed, but, even so, the body had desiccated considerably. Also, she was seventy, was completely bald, and wore a wig and ornamental head-gear. Finally, her face had been heavily made up, in corpus status, so was painted white. So, when this corpse thing sat up, there were quite a few gasps of concern.

The Bishop paused mass, Edward approached the dried corpse, forced open its mouth, and placed a piece of paper inside. The Bishop composed himself and managed to complete the rest of the  "funeral" mass.

The corpse turned to the side and stiffly climbed out of the casket, and stood there, unmoving.

Edward was delighted, he all but capered around the corpse. Its dead eyes were on him all the time; so much so, that when he capered behind it, the head spun right around.

By now, all the grass in the sidhe circle had died, and was already turning brown.

Bishop Dee, the party, and men-at-arms, didn't look very pleased.

"This isn't natural," said Tess to the Deacon in a hoarse whisper.

"You think..?!" Deacon was never very good at not using sarcasm.

"She lives! She lives!" said Edward.

Well aware of the time, the Bishop ordered everything packed up again. Even more so than last night, they did not want to be on the island after dark now.

All the equipment was reboxed and ferried back to the boat again. Edward escorted the lumbering corpse queen back to the boat, and stiffly walked her into his room.

He kept his door locked. Later that evening, Roma did make an attempt to get in, but the lock was more complex than he was used to.

After dark, there was less activity on the island than the previous night.

Sun 20-Apr

In the morning, after Prime, the Deacon called a breakfast meeting, including the party, Bishop Dee, Edward, Captain Owens and the Sergeant at arms: Sergeant Evans

"This is a blasphemy in the sight of the Lord," said the Deacon. "An abomination..."

"Yet the Lord instructed the good Bishop to do this," interrupted Edward. "Nay, 'demanded'."

Bishop Dee nodded wanly.

"It is unnatural," said Sergeant Evans. "It should be destroyed."

"Burn it," said Captain Owens.

"'SHE'", said Edward. "Not 'it'."

They argued on and on. Noone wanted this thing in their midst, except for Edward, and Bishop Dee. On Edward's side, apparently angels did regularly commune with the Bishop and told him that God wanted him to resurrect Queen Elizabeth, to 'make England great again.' So the Bishop was still giving Edward tacit support, even though he was getting more and more horrified each hour at what they had made.

"Well, why can't we get her to speak then?" asked the Deacon. "She doesn't seem very alive."

Roma thought she was a vampire. His Romany origin was near the kingdom of Wallachia, so that theory made perfect sense to him. Though, he seemed to remember that sunlight burned vampires, and this one seemed unfazed.

"Yes," admitted Edward. "More work must be done to fix that. But we have exhausted the power of Lamb Island. Do you know of other areas of the Little People?"

The party didn't, but Tess had heard of one when she (as Todd) lived in Cork: Bosun island [ +4 on her Knowledge roll ]. About another half-day's travel away.

"We will head for there," said Edward.

Spanish Treasure

Wed 16-Apr-1603 (6-Apr) continued ...

Deacon Father O'Reilly [Shane] and Tess returned to St Mary's. Father O'Reilly confronted them.

"Where is Todd? And who's this floosie?" he demanded.

The Deacon let loose with the carefully crafted lie: "We were attacked by Ottomans on last night, by Lamb Island. Brave Art Bowman [Jeff], from the barracks, scared them off. But a stray shot killed poor Todd dead. We wept. When Art and Elrick [Ian] pursued the fleeing Ottomans, they found an abandoned prisoner: this young lady, Tess."

"Well, we can't have no whores nor Jezebels stayin' here!"

"I'm not a whore," said Tess.

"So yuh gave yuh charms away fer free then, harlot?"

"I'm pure. I'm not a harlot."

"Soot yer mowt, Jezebel."

"She can stay in the woodshed, Father," said the Deacon.

"A few nights only. Oi'll write to St Margaret's convent at Cork; they cin have the whore," said the Father.

He stomped off. Tess moved into the woodshed. Todd was used to sleeping here anyway. This is where he had to serve penance when he had erred in the past. So, she tidied the pallet, and made up the bed.

On the other side of town, Ab [Darryl] returned to his cottage. He had time to fire up the cauldron, and start up a brew before dark. The herbs he had got from Long island was enough for him to cook a healing mix. He got the fire going and got the water heating, and then had a little snooze in the late afternoon sun.

He was in a dream. It was so vivid. On a ship, looking out over the water. To an island. Wait a minute, that was Long Island. And there's the wreck we were at only yesterday. His mind's eye was onboard the Spanish ship!

Two long boats were returning across the water towards the ship. Each carrying an iron box.
Then his vision changed: he was scampering across the deck, dog or cat eye-height, and he scurried down a companion-way into a cabin. Then curled up on a cushion.

Ab rushed off to the Squire's Daughter inn to tell Roma [Chris] and Elrick this. The Spanish had treasure from the wreck.

"We'll grab the others in the mornin'," said Roma. "Get the Painted Lady to take us."

Thu 17-Apr

Like Ab, Deacon had a strange dream too. It was the grey light of early dawn, and he was looking down at his body ... a nude body ... but it wasn't his body, it was a woman's body. Hands were there; on the breasts, belly, groin, touching herself, caressing, fingering. He could hear panting, moaning...  Suddenly, he recognized the inside of the woodshed, and recognized that moaning voice. Tess!

Then he was wide awake, back in his bed, in the bedroom of the church cottage. He leapt out of bed and ran to the woodshed. Tess was awake, holding her sheets up, looking guilty as hell.

"Keep yer hands to yourself!" he barked. That didn't come out right; she was. He paused, then continued: "Genesys 38. You know the story of Onan, the good Lord slew him for such acts."

"Onan had carnal knowledge of his wife Tamar," said Tess. "And he withdrew early and 'spilled his seed on the ground'. Denying the levirate* inheritance. That was why the Lord slew him."

"Well, the sentiment is there!"

"Yes, Deacon." said Tess resignedly.

[ * = a levirate wife is when a childless widow marries the brother of her deceased husband. If there are sons, they inherit the deceased husband's wealth. If there are none, the brother gets it. ]

Down at the docks, Roma easily convinced Captain Galvenā-Krastmala ("Main-yard" in Latvian) with the promise of treasure to make sail immediately. The HMS Dreadful left late yesterday so probably didn't have time to engage the Spanish. They might be able to get there in time.

Sure enough, by the time they got to Long Is, the Dreadful was fully engaged with the Spanish ship. Its six guns didn't stand a chance against the 14 gun brig, and was in the process of sinking.

While the English were fishing the Spaniards out of sea, the Painted Lady pulled alongside the listing Spanish ship. Roma and Art swung over, with magnificent grace and style [ superb Agility all round ], and made their way down into the hold to search. Here they found one of the strong boxes (that Ab's vision had observed the previous afternoon) and they hauled it up on deck, and roped it up.

El Gato Diablo

Back on the Painted Lady, Ab saw a black cat on the mast of the doomed ship. It fixed eyes with him, then climbed out on the foresail yard arm, and leapt gracefully onto the deck next to him. Then leapt onto his shoulders. This was unusual in its own right; normally animals were scared of Ab [ Ab has the Frightens Animals fault. This cat was the result of his gift: familiar.]

While the HMS Dreadful headed back to Baltimore, the Painted Lady swung past the wreck, and Elrick went for another swim. He managed to find some mollusk-encrusted bottles of wine, but then had to give up because the tide was rising.

Roma opened the locked trunk. Inside were gold coins, some silver ingots and some jewellery. They had agreed to split the treasure and the bottles with the Painted Lady's Captain and crew, so this was done.

When they returned to Baltimore, there was another ship in the harbour: The Golden Hind, a large merchantman.

To celebrate their new-found wealth, they went to the Squire's Daughter, and hit the ale. Gossip abounded. The Golden Hind, out of Falmouth, was transporting a pious bishop called John Dee. He was one of Queen Elizabeth's religious advisers before she died less than a month ago. Drinking to the gossipers, and to the ill-health of James 1st (the new king), the Deacon was rolling drunk pretty quickly. He vomitted and soiled himself. Tess decided she better take him back to the church. Art and Elrick accompanied to support the drunk, with Tess and Roma bringing up the rear.

John Dee

When they returned to St Mary's, all the church windows glowed. The place was well-lit from within; all the expensive beeswax candles had been lit. Father O'Reilly normally saved them for special occasions, and stuck to the tallow ones when he needed light. There were a bunch of soldiers in unusual livery around the front door.

Art confronted the soldiers. They were Bishop John Dee's retainers, and he had come to the church (closest to the docks) to pray. Father O'Reilly was performing ad hoc Vespers.

When Bishop Dee heard that the group was here, he summoned them inside.

"So you are the ones?" he asked.

"Uh, what 'ones'?"

"The Captain of the local barracks told me that you had brought in a Spanish lady. With a very dubious back-story behind her."

They looked at each other: "Um, yeah."

"Join me tomorrow at the Barracks, after first light. Bring your entire group."

"Yes, sir."

With that he dismissed them. Tess put the slurring Deacon to bed, then retired herself back to the woodshed. Elrick and Roma returned to their lodgings at the Squire's Daughter. Art returned to the barracks.

Fri 18-Apr, First Quarter

Captain Carmichael

When the group arrived at the barracks in the morning, all the soldiers, the entire company, were out, standing in parade formation, in their best uniforms. Captain Carmichael and his three lieutenants were dressed up too. Art was in his dress uniform in his squad, standing at attention with all the rest.

The party arrived and stood awkwardly to one side. Ab had his new cat, El Gato, sitting on his shoulders.

Up the path came the smartly dressed soldiers of the Golden Hind. Accompanied by Bishop Dee. Captain Carmichael saluted sharply to John Dee who gave him a nod.

"With the Lord's grace, let us retire to your office, Captain," said Bishop Dee.

"Yes, your grace," said the Captain.

John Dee beckoned the party over, then said to the Captain. "And bring, too, the Spanish girl forth."

The parade was dismissed and the party & co went to the Captain Carmichael's office. The three company Lieutenants and Sergeant Suarez too. The Spanish girl was brought too, in chains. She had had a rough few days: two black eyes, swollen lips, and was only clad in a torn shift.

It turned out that John Dee could speak Spanish. The same questions were asked of the girl as the other day, and this time there was no tittering or smirking.

"<So, you turned from a man into a woman? And this group was responsible for it?>"

"<Yes, my Lord.>"

"Captain," said the Bishop. "I request to take this Senorita into my custody. I trust you ... and your company ...  have finished with her yourself."

The Captain nodded. It was one less problem for him to deal with. The soldiers of Cork would just have to miss out on their comfort girl. And anyway. his men had had their fair share of "comfort" from her already.

"One other thing, Captain." said John Dee. "I heard that you had a reliquary of St Agatha. Thus, I have written a letter to the Primate of All Ireland. I request it to accompany the reliquary to be delivered so with. We can not have such an priceless item melted down or destroyed."

With that, John Dee and his retainers left, Spanish girl in tow. He asked for the party to accompany him as well, so Lieutenant Matthews gave Art permission again. The party went to the docks and boarded the Golden Hind. Then made sail.

Edward Kelley

John Dee had a companion on board called Edward Kelley. He had a certain intense air about him. It turned out that he was from Kinsale, only a day's travel from Baltimore, but had spent most of his life in England and in Bohemia.

John and Edward took Elrick, Roma and Art off to one side. Not only were they suspicious of the Spanish girl's origins, but they were casting doubt upon Tess too.

"She has a sidhe air about her," said Edward.

After a lot of thorough questioning, Elrick, and then Art, admitted the whole story was a lie. Both Todd-to-Tess and sailor-to-girl. Edward knew a lot about sidhe and fae, and put that down as a cause. John and Edward had a pet theory that the sidhe magic was of divine origin "the little people are still God's creatures" but fully acknowledged that the Church would look very dimly upon this theory. Comments of witchcraft and stake-burning abounded.

At no time did Roma did admit that he had used the sand on the Spaniards. So it was a mystery what was the origin of that conversion.

Thus, the Golden Hind was headed back to Long Island to investigate the site of this metamorphosis, and thence to Lamb Island.

The Reliquary

Roma Freeley - the "pikey" [ Chris ]

Tue 15-Apr-1603 (5-Apr)

On Long Island.

Three foreigners were down: one dead and two unconscious. Roma [Chris] took out the magic sand (the sand that had changed Todd into Tess) and scooped a small lump into each of the unconscious men's mouths. Then stepped back to watch.

Ab Siddy - the "hedge wizard" [ Darryl ]

Ab Siddy [Darryl] surreptitiously cast his reflexive Camouflage spell, and padded down to the edge of the woods where it met the beach. There were four foreigners there, out in the surf, using their jolly boat as cover, getting ready to leave. One was shouting orders.

"Mantén tu mierda abajo! Esos hijos de putas atacarán en cualquier momento."

Ab mumbled to himself "they be Spaniards," and watched them for a bit, then returned to the group.

Elrick - the "sailor" [ Ian ]

By the time Ab got back, one of the unconscious Spaniards was bucking and writhing, and the other one was convulsing so violently that his body formed a hoop and his ankles touched the back of his head. There was a sickening cracking of bone and then he shrieked hysterically. He rolled on his side and was still. Roma approached the stationary man warily, then recoiled in horror. The skin and flesh had started to melt off the wretch's bones.

The second Spaniard fared a little better. He started to cough violently, just like Tess the other day. And like Tess, he started coughing his insides out... then he just turned ... inside out, and coughed out a young woman. She had dusky skin, and jet black hair. Like Tess, she was unconscious and non-responsive, so  Roma bound her up,  leashed and gagged her, taking his own sweet time, enough to steal some exquisite cuddles.

Deacon F. O'Reilly - the "priest" [ Shane ]

Suddenly, there was a distant bang. Elrick [Ian] (using his navy knowledge) instantly recognized it as the blast from a canon. A second or two later, the leaves whispered above, and motes of dust danced around the party on the ground, as a load of grape-shot arrived at high speed. Most of the party were hit by the flying balls and wounded. They all scurried for cover.

Deacon O'Reilly [Shane], uninjured himself, moved from person to person and used his Healing blessings  to administer to each of the wounds.

Art - the "solider" [ Jeff ]

By now, out on the water, the four Spaniards were rowing back to their ship (moored half a mile off the island).

The tide had reached its lowest, and was so low that rocky reefs were starting to show in a ring around the island. Down the coast a little was the reason the group (and presumably the Spanish) was here; a wrecked ship was sitting, half submerged. It looked ten to twenty years old.

"Could be from the Spanish Armada," observed Roma. "That was fifteen years back."

Tess (Todd)

The group moved adjacent to the wreck, with the gagged and bound Spanish sailor-now-girl in tow, maintaining their cover in the woods. The Spanish ship fired a few more desultory blasts of grape-shot at their old location.

Elrick, who was a fair swimmer, swam out to the the wreck. He poked about, not willing to risk entering the dangerous hold proper, but he managed to get into the Captain's cabin where he found a sealed wooden tube. He returned it to the group. Father broke the tube's wax seal and opened it, and was greeted with a sheet of velum covered in Spanish writing and a small map of the British Isles. No-one could read Spanish, so they rolled it up and returned it to the tube.

Elrick returned to the wreck and poked around blindly at the gash in the ship's hold. He fished about and picked up something small and heavy. He cleared the muck off it; it was gold! He took it back to the group.

Father recognized it as St Agatha, and that it was a reliquary. It contained some thick red liquid - presumably the Saint's blood.

By now the tide had risen too high to allow Elrick to explore any more of the wreck.

"We need to get the Dreadful (English warship back in Baltimore) onto the Spanish ship there," stated Art [Jeff]. "They will take care of it."

It was getting dark.

They made a decision that would almost cost them their lives.

"We need to get back to Baltimore fast. Let's go now."

They hauled out their skiff, and slid it into the sea, and all clambered aboard, including the Spanish girl prisoner, who was still bound and leashed. Elrick manned the rudder and they set sail, into the breakers, with Roma clutching on at the bow. Roma had excellent night vision [ Fudge gift night vision which gives him vision like a star-light scope ] which was a good thing, because there was no moon and it was overcast.

Elrick dead-reckoned [ a Fudge gift can't get lost ] to Horse Island, and guessed this trip would take five hours. Already, there was a big swell and this was still in the lee of Long Is.

As they continued, the sea got bigger and bigger. However, only Roma could see this, and he would shout to Elrick above the din of the roaring sea, "Left! Left! Hard left! I mean the other left! Right! Left!". The wave tops were beginning to break, and so a wall of water would rush down the length of the skiff, utterly drenching everyone. In the pitch black, no-one could see the slightest thing, and Roma didn't always get a chance to scream "Wave!". All they could do was bail...  and bail ... and bail as water pounded and soaked them. Occasionally, the clouds would part and there'd be a few stars visible, but all this did was to highlight the horrendous silhouette of an approaching wave, twice the height of the mast, as it roared and foamed towards them.

Time passed, waves crashed, wretches bailed, Roma screamed, but Elrick's skill and determination prevailed [ four boating rolls made; had any failed, it would have broken up the boat, ... and no-one could swim, except Elrick ] and the sea dropped as they entered the bay of Horse Is. Friendly twinkling lights shone from the house overlooking. The group staggered up the path and were greeted by the inhabitants, (most of whom they knew from two nights ago anyway).

They were given dry clothes and warm beds. Father took the double bed with both Tess and the Spanish prisoner, platonically, to protect the girls from Roma.

In the morning, Father had a strange dream. He was floating out of his body, outside in the pre-dawn gloom, in the garden here. He looked down and gasped; he was a woman, or in the body of a woman, and she was trying to pee, but she was standing up, making a mess. He jumped, a hypnic jerk, and woke up, back in the bed. Tess was not next to him, though the Spanish girl was.

A short while later, Tess arrived back to bed. The Spanish girl was still tied up, and she had wet the bed. So Tess took her outside, while Father got the bedding changed.

Wed 16-Apr

After breakfast, they said their good byes and headed back out into the harbour, to cross over to Baltimore. This trip would be another six hours.

The swell had dropped a bit, and they were now running with the waves, so the trip wasn't so terrifying. But they still got utterly soaked.

They passed Lamb Island after three hours, and from then on, the sea got considerably smaller. They arrived in Baltimore early afternoon.

They all rushed to the garrison. Captain Carmichael, Baltimore commander, was summoned.

Straight away, he ordered a runner to be sent to the Brig Dreadful with a letter asking it to engage the Spanish.

The Spanish prisoner was questioned first.

"We found this Spanish girl on Long Island," said Private Art. "Maybe she is a ship's whore. She can't speak English."

The Capt summoned a Sergeant Suarez who could speak Spanish. Suarez questioned the girl, while everyone watched. The discussion was quite animated and Suarez and the girl ended up shouting at each other. He struck her across the face, and she fell to the ground.

"She claims she was changed into lady, by magic!" spluttered Suarez.

They all laughed.

"'She' was Spanish sailor hhoo was on ze island and accosted by your group, Private Art, and you... you changed hhher into a woman. I hhave asked hhher many time and she no change hher story."

"Put her in irons and throw her in the cells," said Carmichael. "We'll work on her later."

The girl was dragged off weeping.

"What will happen to her?" asked Roma.

"Most likely she'll end up as a comfort girl in Cork."

Captain Carmichael questioned the group about their trip. He didn't ask about Todd Unctuous nor Tess, probably assuming she was a maid or camp follower or whore, but he was particularly interested in the Long Is wreck.

The map tube parchment was unrolled on the table, and Suarez read it.

"These orders. For the ship Santa Maria. Eet give landing sites on England south coast. Eet not say much more."

The Captain then started asking many details about the wreck. Father tried to keep the presence of the gold St Agatha reliquary secret, but honest Elrick told all. The Captain confiscated the priceless item.

"This will belong to the Church of Ireland," he said.

"What about the Catholic church?" asked Father. "That is a Catholic reliquary!"

"What part of 'Church of Ireland' do you not understand?"

Father scowled.

"Will we get any of the treasure from the wreck?" asked Roma.

"You'll get your share. Plus you will get great thanks from the Primate."

"The Primate...?"

The Captain sighed. He'd have to explain this all again. "There are two Primates, that is, two heads of the Church of Ireland: the 'Primate of Ireland' and the 'Primate of All Ireland'. The former is the Archbishop of Dublin who is His Grace Adam Loftus. That latter, the superior of the two, is the Archbishop of Armagh who is His Grace Henry Ussher."

[ Queue monkey jokes ]

Father O'Reilly's side-kick

Sat, 12*-Apr-1603, Spring

The brigantine Lūpukrāsas Slampa ("Painted Lady") of Riga (Latvia) docked in Baltimore harbour. [Baltimore, USA, took its name from this place].  Among the crew taking shore leave were two fellows, Elrick Youngson [Ian], sailor, from Oslo then Riga, and Roma Freeley [Chris], pikey, from Rotterdam. On the docks, they went through the cursory Customs and Excise inspection. One of the Customs soldiers was a Private Art Bowman [Jeff]. Art took an immediate liking to Roma who was exploiting his pikey charm.

[ * = dates use Gregorian calendar, because my moon tables are in Gregorian. To convert to Julian, which Ireland was using at this time, until 1752, subtract ten days. So this day is 2nd April 1603. ]

Sun 13-Apr

After taking mass at St Mary under-the-wagon, Deacon Father O'Reilly [Shane] headed to his favourite post-mass Sunday location, the Waterfront Inn.

The deacon's parents' surname was O'Reilly, and, not being too bright, they named him "Father" after his uncle, a priest. This was made more confusing since that very uncle was the parish priest that Father worked under, another O'Reilly, and the uncle was a genuine Father. So, the good church of St Mary had a priest called Father O'Reilly and a deacon called Deacon Father O'Reilly. ("Deacon" being a father-in-training.) Of course, when the deacon would be fully ordained, he would then be Father Father O'Reilly.

In the inn, Father met with his childhood friend, Art Bowman. Elrick and Roma arrived too and joined the drinking buddies. Ale all round.
Father did not have a very good constitution, and although he loved ale (in fact, any alcoholic beverage), he could not drink much before he became sick. So the usual Sunday morning ensued with Father drinking too much, slurring his words, making a disturbance, and voiding his bladder.

A little while later, the genuine Father O'Reilly arrived. This was also the normal Sunday occurrence, where the the Father would take the ill Father home. But today, he arrived with another older fellow in tow. He was introduced to the group as Todd Unctuous. Todd was in his early sixties, and was from Dublin, or was it Cork? They weren't sure. Father O'Reilly arranged for Todd to chaperone the drunken deacon. Todd had good knowledge of Catholic doctrine, and a cast-iron constitution, so he could pass as a tutor for Father, and could bodily carry the sickly drunk home, if necessary.

While this was going on, Roma overheard a bunch of sailors at the adjacent table. They were from the other ship that was docked in the harbour (next to the Painted Lady), a British warship, the HMS Dreadful, a brig. The sailors were talking about a wreck that they had passed yesterday during the trip along the coast - off Long Island, an island eight Irish miles* to the west. The moon was new, so there were very large king tides; maybe that explained the recent observance of the wreck.

[ * = An Irish mile is 8 Irish furlongs, or 320 Irish linear perches**, or exactly 14/11 English miles, or a fraction over two kilometres.

** = perches are normally units of area (there being 160 perches to an acre; yes, the Irish acre was different to the English acre), but the Irish had a "linear perch" which was 7 yards, c.f. the English "rod" which was 5.5 yards. And one square rod was called a "perch"***. Thems were the days.

*** = not to be mistaken for the small stripey freshwater fish. ]

Roma "found out" that there was a dying man living on Long Island and that he needed an emergency Last Rites performed (else he would die unconfessed). So Father O'Reilly told Todd to get Deacon Father O'Reilly over to Long Island by any means necessary ("a man's mortal soul is in jeopardy"; "jeu parti" a lost game). Roma and Elrick managed to convince their boss (Captain Galvenā-Krastmala of the Painted Lady) to borrow a skiff "for three days". And Art convinced his immediate barracks commander, Lieutenant Matthews, that he would be required to travel with the group to give them martial protection, for three days. Art suggest they bring his other friend "Ab" Siddy [Darryl], as he had some unique skills which might help the group.

The skiff was sailed by Elrick, who had significant boating skills, with the rest of the group: Roma, Art, Ab, Father and Todd, forming the crew. They got to Lamb Island, just past halfway, by dark.
The island was a wooded and uninhabited island, so they pulled the skiff up the beach, and started a large fire from driftwood. Todd cooked a meal, which was pretty mediocre, and they settled down for the night.

Around midnight, Roma, on second watch, heard some movement in the woods just off the beach. He woke everyone up and went to investigate with his cat-like tread. In the woods, he espied a figure, a nude figure of a young woman, crouched down, watching the group. Her skin glowed, as if shone by moonlight, but there was no moon. Roma crept close to her, but she suddenly noticed him, gave a squeal, and then waved her hands. A red bolt of light shot out at him, he ducked, and it singed his cheek with a searing pain. Then the woman dropped something, scampered off and disappeared behind a tree. Roma called the group in and they searched; no trace. He recovered the object she had dropped. It was a small basket, size of a fist, filled with fine sand. The sand also glowed faintly.

The group investigated the sand. Father knew a few churchy blessings, wards and things, so he got out his kit and performed those rituals, but it had no effect. Art sniffed the sand deeply. Todd did too.

"Smells like sand," Todd said blankly. He then dipped his finger in it and tasted it. "Pah. Tastes like sand too."

Roma wrapped the sand basket up tightly and put it in the skiff.

Suddenly, Todd started to cough. It sounded like the retching noise a cat makes when coughing up a fur-ball. He was given water, both holy and mundane, and some communion wine, but that didn't help. If anything, it made the coughing worse. His coughing got louder and more violent. Blood started to spatter out of his mouth and nose, and, what looked like his epiglottis, only bigger, was being coughed out too, in long stringy tendrils. But when he gasped air between coughs, he would suck it all back in. Each time he coughed now, the tendrils and bits of meat and mucous membrane got longer and longer. They were glistening and fleshy, like the inside of his mouth and throat. This progressed for the next quarter hour, and as time passed, more and more glistening membrane and viscera was coughed out. It looked like stomach, then intestines and then liver, and it was large enough now to touch the sandy beach. Great gasping coughs, but it was all sucked back in between coughs.

Between bouts, Roma helped Todd onto the skiff and pushed it off the beach, while Todd crouched within on all fours, doing his violent coughs. By now, it looked like he was coughing out his lungs, heart (happily pumping), and even his bowels. In fact, there was more of Todd coughed out than what was left in him. But each inward gasp would still drag it all back in again. Finally, there was an almighty explosive COUGH, which echoed around the bay, followed by a wet splodge. And then silence. Todd was nowhere to be seen, so Roma peered into the skiff. There was a naked girl, in her late teens, lying unconscious in the boat, glistening with the various body fluids of Todd  (sweat, blood, lymph, bile, interstitial fluid, chyle and saliva). Todd's clothes were in a heap next to her.

Roma brought the boat in, and the group gently lifted her out and lay her next to the fire. She was totally unresponsive, and even prying her eyelids open revealed non-reactive eyes. She was breathing softly. Roma searched through Todd's clothing and gear, but could find no trace of him; apart from the foul blasphemy of his soiled underpants, which they burned.

The girl's eyes suddenly sprang open and she sat up.
"What's goin' on here, then?" she said, matter-of-factly, and then glanced down and screamed.
"What happened to me?!" she shrieked. "What are these?" grabbing her breasts.
Then she grabbed at her groin, yelling hystrically "Where is it?!"

"Todd?" said Father.
She looked at him.
"What happened to me?!" she yelled.
"Must've been the sand," said Art wisely. "You shouldn't have licked it."
"Maybe try eating some more sand?" ventured Roma. "Might turn you back."
"No!" said Father.

Having a naked girl in the group, proved to be a distraction (esp Roma, who had an unhealthy-cum-psychotic interest in the fairer sex), so they draped her best they could in Todd's ill-fitting clothes, then tucked her in for the night.

Mon 14-Apr

The rest of the night passed peacefully.

"Todd," said Father in the morning. "You need a new name. I vote 'Tess'. Tess of the d'Urbervilles."
"To be sure," said Tess.

Roma had thought up a story to explain this whole Todd fiasco for when they returned to Baltimore. If word got out that some sidhe* magic had changed Todd to Tess, she'd be burned as a witch, and most likely the rest of the group too.

[ * = sidhe pronounced "she" is the faeries, the fae. ]

So, here was the story, which they all learned by rote:

1. A handful foul Ottoman* raiders attacked us on Lamb Is.
2. We bravely fought them off. They sailed away.
3. Poor Todd was killed in the skirmish. We gave him a Christian burial on the beach on Lamb Is.
4. The raiders had a fair maiden captive with them, whom we rescued. She had been abused by their foul Ottoman hands so much so that the trauma caused amnesia. She could not even remember her own name, so we called her Tess.

[ * = "... out of Constantinople, headed to sack Venice, but turned left at the Adriatic and ended up .. um... in Ireland?" ]

After this, they packed up and disembarked on the skiff.

After a few hours, Elrick cast his weather-eye to the west and did not like the look of the gun-metal clouds and towering thunderheads. So he made for the closest island, Horse Island. There was already a big swell, and this trip was pretty violent. Everyone except Elrick was horribly sea sick. But, Elrick got them there safely, and, as they were pulling the skiff up the beach, the storm proper arrived.

Horse Island was inhabited, so the group pushed their way through the icy driving rain to a farm house. The occupants were very welcoming, and when they realized a cleric was with them, even more so.

The locals all asked for to make confessions, so Father spent the rest of the rainy day taking confessions and issuing penance.

Tess was given some proper women's clothing

The group were given a slap-up meal, and the best beds for the night.

Tue 15-Apr

After a horrible stormy night, the next morning dawned clear and calm.

The group said their good-byes to the Horse Islanders, and they made for Long Is. under the careful command of Elrick using his best boatmanship. This would take about five hours.

Long island was about an Irish mile long and maybe 1/4 mile wide. They assumed the wreck site would be on the southern side, that being where the sailors of the HMS Dreadful could see it. The tides were still large, and it would be about mid-tide when they got there.

However, off in the distance was another larger ship, at anchor, with no flags up.

"Pirates!" spat Art. Everyone agreed.

It had just disembarked its own jolly boat to the island with 6-plus fellows aboard. Elrick changed course to pass on the North side of Long Is (the pirates were on the SW side). They beached their boat, pulled it into the woods (that covered the entire island), and headed to the high point on foot.

They got to the high point easily, but the forest covered everything, so it afforded no view. As they were deciding what to do, they heard noisy movement approaching, and sharp foul foreign tongue. So, they dug in and planned an ambush.

Three onion-and-garlic-reeking foreigners arrived, and a fight ensued. They were armed with match-locks and swords. One managed to get a shot off, but the musket ball whistled past Art's ear. The battle dragged on for ages [ because I was doing Fudge combat wrong ], but the party prevailed and downed the three. Roma took a nasty wound.

There were at least three more foreigners. And they would have heard the gun shot, and heard the screams of battle. What would they do? What will the group do next?