Guards Extraordinaire

Back at the Shadowlands Keep we went in to the Free Adventurers' Guild.

"Time for you lot to train," squealed Winstone.

So he sent us to various individuals in the Keep, and after more zen-like training ("hold this spoon for two hours while standing on one leg", "place your boobs into this vise", "copy this phrase 374 times", etc) we all emerged as "Level One".

Me, Whizz [DM] and Peg Groups [Ian] went to the potion merchant and asked to see his "random stock". He commented that the risk is all ours as none of it had been identified. We took our Axminster-prescribed colours (green, blue and black) and drank them. My one increased Charisma, Whizz's increased his Strength and Peg Groups' increased his Speed.

On the FAG notice boards there were a collection of jobs for would-be adventurers such as us. Ranging from the sublime "guards wanted" to the ridiculous "volunteers required for magical experiments". We chose one that looked promising "Adventurers required for helping trainers".

The job was to help some adventurer trainers train a group of level four adventurers up to level five. These level four guys were to guard a small red box, the size of a shoe box, and would hide in a long-abandoned derelict house. We would try to storm it. We would have a referee with us and they would have one too. And everyone would use padded weapons and padded armour. Lethal magic was to be done with phrases without casting spells, and the refs would decide the effect.

We snuck up to the target house after the exercise had started. It was a two-storey wreck, with great big holes in the roof, and had a similarly dilapidated adjoining barn. Light Touch [Jeff], with our referee in discrete tow, snuck around to reconnoitre while the rest of us waited nearby. He spotted an elf ranger in the woods, and shot her. Our ref said "you're dead" and so she had to withdraw from the exercise. He also spotted another guard high in the damaged roof.

We skulked into the barn and searched a little. John Wayne [Shane] and Light Touch went to explore more outside, leaving the rest of us in the barn, but our ref stayed inside. With this tip-off, John and Light Touch returned and we decided to concentrate our efforts in the barn, when ... all hell broke loose. Three of their party, and their ref, were hiding in the barn behind an illusionary wall. They managed to drop several of us, but we had superior numbers and got them all. And the box. Game over for them.

The next exercise was the same thing reversed. The level four party would attack us, and we would hide the red box inside the house.

While we were discussing what to do, and before the exercise had begun, there was suddenly an enormous BANG. Something had landed in the abandoned library of the house. We peered through the door. There was a new hole in the ceiling, in a perfect circle, and the whole room was freezing cold, frost everywhere. Both Whizz and I sensed evil, but it was fast dissipating. The ref scratched his head and went back to town to speak with the other ref. They also summoned some magical support from the Keep: the head priest and a mage. These two duly arrived and inspected the phenomenon.

"We are only tenth level," they muttered. "This is outside our experience."

So they took some samples in specimen jars and headed off.

Both refs shrugged and the exercise was on again, though the library was declared out-of-bounds.

We hid the red box under the steps to the front door. And then waited.

Late into the night, the other party arrived in various manners.

Their wizard tried to levitate into the hole in the roof, but he stuffed up and ended up tangled in ropes. "You're dead" snapped our ref.

Their thief arrived the same route but we spotted and got him. "You're dead"

The rest of their group snuck in invisible and silent, and the battle was met.

I "killed" one with my crossbow. But was then "killed" back.
Whizz "killed" their tank, but was slept and "killed". Peg Groups was "killed" too.
John Wayne damaged one, but then was "killed". Light Touch "killed" this one, but that broke his cover and he was soon "killed" himself.

This left only Yeti  [Darryl]and their fighter. In an extraordinary feat of luck, Yeti managed to drop the guy with his glaive, much to everyone's surprise.

To be honest, several of the referee calls went in our favour in this battle. The ref didn't know what one of the fire spells did cast by their mage (it would have dropped two of us), and several of our hits on their fighters would have only been flesh wounds rather than death calls.

But this didn't stop us gloating the hell out of them.

"Two nil! Two nil!" sang Yeti in his thin reedy voice.

We returned to the Keep triumphant, Whizz and I leading the marching song:

Onward Grism's soldiers, marching as to war,

with the sword of Vull going on before.

Vull, the royal master, leads against the foe;

forward into battle see his banners go!

At the sign of triump Deidra's host doth flee;

on then, Grism's soldiers, on to victory!

Zaahl's foundations quiver at the shout we raise;

sisters, lift your voices, loud Illana's praise.

Onward then, ye people, Grism leads the throng,
blend with ours your voices in Illana's song.
Glory, laud, and honour until Vull the King,
this through countless ages men and half-elves sing.