Present:
- Cody Dieback. Human Male Wizard from Highport – Andrew
- Jack "Blocker" Jones. Human Male Temple Fighter of Aquamarina from Porn City – Jamie
- Tom Eade. Human Male Fighter from Porn City – Jeff
- Grim Hand. Human Male Rogue from Porn City – Jason
- Esmeralda "Ezme" Abernathy. Human Female Temple Fighter of Soixante Neuf from Scabport – Shane
- Ardern. Human Female Priestess of Mr Quail from Porn City – Kevin
- MARMALADING Rock Hammer. Human Male Barbarian from Central Plains – Steven
- Willow Woods. Half-elf Male Caribou Gorn Priest from Porn City - Chris
- Kippy Hunt. Human Male Barbarian of the Central Plains – Ian
- Munch Ease. Human Male Thief from Porn City – Darryl
by Darryl
"Yeah Nah", says Jack. "Three people have died, we are standing in an IMAG temple of some sort, we have a little evil spear that none of us want and need to get rid of, and yet, here we are, wanting to carry on as if this is all normal," he continued.
"Ahh, but we voted and we's agreed plan A always works out," Cody retorts.
So yet again, our mighty group of adventurers equivocate and stand around in a darkened basement; fear and indecision rattling around between them and wrapping itself through their minds. The dust on the floor became very complicated and deeply intriguing as they stared at it and as they umm'ed and aah'ed away for some time.
"How's about we take the spear back to the mages and then decide?" mumbled Kippy.
"Good idea," replied Jack, hoping that putting off the decision to continue the group would end up never returning.
Carefully they placed the wrapped-spear in a backpack making sure it was not touched by anyone and through the streets they moved making their way to the Wizards' Guild. Little light aided them and the city lay quiet and the streets empty of people. Arriving at the Guild, Cody pounded on the door continuously until open by an angry and irate porter.
"What is this intrusion at this time of night?!" he exclaimed. "Be off with you and return again when light has once again found it's way to our souls."
"Yeeah Nah" answered Cody. "Go and get Ania right now or become nothing more than dirt on my boots. I tells ya now she will turn you into some sort of newt if ya hold up the news and greetings we have for her."
 |
| Ania Tilly |
"Please enter," she politely spoke. "You all wait in here" as she pointed to a small ante room, "Cody you come with me."
With a leery grin Cody shuffled off trying his best to keep his longing tongue within the confines of his mouth.
"Well? said Ania.
"We've got the spear, mistress," Cody said.
"Give me more detail than this, you fool!" retorted Ania who by this time was struggling to hold in her distaste for this man.
"Well we went into Vincent's place and found dead bodies with horrible black tongues and one of them bodies was Vincent, he looked proper dead and what wif him been a fag and all we was thinking the black tongue was to do with his, well you know what I means, his urgings like..."
"None of this matters to me," Ania barked back, "Just make sure you don't touch the spear, and bring me back his body. It is of critical importance. Now begone with you."
"No mistress, we ain't touched that horrible little spear, but we thought we wuz done. But for such a gracious lady as yerself we will head back and do this dee for ya."
After receiving the carefully-wrapped spear Ania is relieved to see Cody shuffle off to the group and to see them disappear once again into the night.
Back the group goes, down into Vincent's home and into the room where Vincent's body remains sitting upright in some chair. the group now feel emboldened to continue searching the remainder of the space, especially the large iron door in one of the walls.
"I'll have this open in a jiffy" Munch says as he steps forward pulling out a funny looking set of keys. Click clack, flash!
"Oi where's Munch gone?" Kippy asked with a quizzical look on his face.
"I'z down here" a little high pitched voice says looking up at Kippy.
"Mmm should someone have done a check for magic and or traps first perhaps?" came a sardonic voice from within the group.
"Hum how longs does this last?" two inch tall Much squeaked.
Flash bang and Kippy is lying sprawled on the floor with young Munch smiling happily, full size again, sitting neatly on his back.
"Thanks mate, don't think I need that anymore."
Munch tries again and this time there is the lovely sound of a click as the door unlocks. The group enters the room behind the metal door and eyes widen. The shine of avarice outlines the treasure of hope for many who look around the room. Weapons, a magical one, torture equipment and four large chests full of both gold and the silver that the barbarians of the plains seem to place great worth in.
"Eff me!"
"Far out!"
"Oh yeah!"
"Is that a magical erotic implement of personal desire I spy upon the wall?" can be heard echoing quietly around the room as the group begins to explore.
"We iz rich I reckon" was one predominant voice but with a group of adventurers such as this, dissenting voices began to rise from the small silences between the oohing and aahing.
"We can't take all this, way too heavy, and what if people find out, they will come calling for our gizzards."
"What are ya? We iz great adventurers and when we finds stuff it's ours and bugger the consequence."
"He's dead ain't he? So plum to doughnuts he don't need it and we ain't goin to tell."
"Do you know how much this weighs? We would need more than one cart to take it all away."
"We still need to get the body back to the mages."
"I want the magic rapier and stuff you lot!"
"Oi we are making quite a lot of noise and we have forgotten there is no I in team."
"Anyone got a spare bag?"
Well, this went on for awhile, and somehow out of the weave of chaos a simple stuffed toy of a plan suddenly appeared. The group jingled it's way out of Vincent's home returning back to their lodgings with various members of the group taking a little longer to return than others and on their return appearing a little lighter than they were when they left the room.
Early the next morning, after a slap-up breakfast, Munch and Willow head off to Willow's grove on the outskirts of the city to pick up a hearse. A quick stop is made and Munch seems to deposit a small bag in a hidden place. Willow and Munch return later in the afternoon with horse and cart riding jauntily below them. As the city quietens and the darkness ensures many of the citizens slumber away their night the group drives the cart behind Vincent's house in a small back alley.
Besides Willow, who waits with the hearse, the group returns to the chamber where Vincent's body awaits. The odour the group meets as they close upon the chamber is that which would be expected in a funeral director's place of business, assuming said funeral director had a bit of a rush on and he decided to take a week or two off for a vacation, and forgot that ice melts after a couple of days.
 |
| Decomposition was catching up with him |
"Looks like decomposition is catching up on him" muttered Grim as he began to wrap a scarf around his nose and mouth. "Best we move along at pace before the neighbours begin complaining."
So whilst the right just and glorious members of the group maneuver the sticky oozing mess once known as Vincent into a sea chest and through the corridors of his once homely home, other members of the party spends time filling their boots and jingling their way back to the cart. The said cart is then quietly and carefully driven back to the Wizards' Guild where once again Cody raps upon the visitor's door, hoping in his heart to once again stare upon the sultry facade of Ania.
"Nah eff off vagabond, ya can't see her" a fresh faced but obviously well trained new porter retorts to Cody's slimy request to see her.
"Yeah well, we have a delivery for her, and under her orders an all, so 180 yerself and do me bidding."
"Well's I can't, she's dead see."
"Oh, um yeah well.." Cody sneers. "Well get's us the next big bugger, he will sure want to see what we have."
So poor Thespian, another senior within the Guild is forced to spend time discussing matters with Cody. Despite the lack of leering, he too feels somewhat uncomfortable during this process and wonders to himself why this particular man has been chosen as the spokesman for a group with obviously some talent.
"So you are the group that brought that spear to Ania last night?"
"Yes sah, that's us."
"That is most interesting," Thespian responds, "Her death is most saddening and perplexing. But now that you have brought someone else with a blackened tongue, which we see also in poor Ania's death repose, we may require you further. Return in two days."
"Who are you to demand matey? We is what we iz and do as we wishes, Mr High-and-Mighty."
"Mm I think you have missed the point, return in two days," says Thespian as he waves his hands and suddenly Cody has morphed into a short fat and even more ugly specimen of some form of humanity.
The group of course are highly sympathetic to the plight of Cody and do their best to remain standing as they guffaw and snort with laughter.
Our brave adventurers return two days later, Cody back in some more normal form. Discussions are undertaken, this time Cody is a little more demure in his approach, and this time Thespian seems slightly more amenable.
"You have Vincent's diary and some sort of semblance from those of you who can read I see as been made. Good. Your orders are simple. I don't care about your findings so far, so what if Magnus gave him the spear, and as for this man Igor who lives in Morganmine, you missed this in the Diary, fools. Your job is to find out who killed Vincent and why, that is simple even for you to understand. So go forth and do as ordered, and please stop annoying the porters, they are hard to recruit."
"Yes sire I understands, but them group out there, they don't haves the same savvy as me, and cause they has been real good in not touching any of the 8,000 gold pieces of Vincent's that I carefully counted out for your great highnesses, they would be looking for some sort of recompeneration like if your knows what I mean." Cody stutters.
Thespian sighs and replied "Of course, such worldly matters have been considered on your behalf and each member of your party may, on successful completion of the order as outlined will be able to receive a magic item of their choosing. They will get to choose a single item, and if I divine that their choice is, let us say, overly-extravagant, they will receive nothing. One choice and one choice alone."
"Oooh most gracious of you Mr Bigwig mighty fine wizard, I reckons they will go for that so let me be off and we will get rights to it." Cody says as he slowly backed away and bowing leaves Thespian, returning to the group who happily accept the challenge.
The group of course, be the mighty but more particularly pedantic adventurers that they are, who leave no stone unturned, no tunnel unexplored and no monster left alive, decide to return to Vincent's abode.
A thorough search above ground reveals no further clues or pickings of interest. However the brainiacs and pedants of the group shuffle through what looks like nothing more than administrative papers, claiming the odd parchment or two for what may lie ahead. The mages have sent in the auditors and the treasure room now has a number of little men with clipboards busily counting and stock taking the various chests and items in the room.
"Good to see, carry on, jolly good show." says Jack. "All present and accounted for I'm sure."
"Just this last tunnel for us to check out on your behalf. Don't worry about us, we are brave and daring-do adventures we will face what might be down this last tunnel, you just carry on."
So the group moved in their well-trained style, listening and moving carefully. As they proceeded, a murmuring and sound slowly grew. The tunnel ended and above them a trap door. Listening carefully they hear some sounds, sounds of laughter and jovial discourse, whilst wafting around them the smells of cooking meat and alcohol.
"Me reckons a pub up there" says Kippy. "Two shakes of a lambs tail and I can confirm for you.
So Kippy turns into a little mouse (metaphorically), creeps in and has a bit of a shifty around.
"Yeah a pub, probably the Alabaster Coccoid, you know where them folks like Vincent hang out."
 |
| Alabaster Coccoid |
"You mean the ones that look a bit like Munch does now that he bought himself those fancy fop clothes yesterday?" asked Ardern
"Yeah kinda but Munch has no style, so that waistcoat and hat in no way matches with that feather he has stuck in is noggin, never mind I can see his leather armour sticking out where some sort of codpiece should be" replied Kippy.
Our mighty band of adventurers move on, and with the combined intelligence of half a lettuce begin to understand that the next phase of the adventure lies before them. Young Ardern the mighty scholar of the group studies carefully the incantations of Vincent's diary. Rustling past the entries about Karl the mighty member of Mannix and Finn the feisty firefighter from Frumpland and the luncheon next Thursday, she pieces together fragments of information of gold mining interest and his lead man on the job, Igor.
Whilst Ardern carefully and quietly and very very earnestly works away on this research most of the party gets all the bits and pieces together required for a two week journey. However there is always one in the group, the charismatic one, or at least the one who thinks they are the most persuasive, the street-wise man, the speaker of the working class, the one who gets the juice. In our case, our man Jack. Jack sauntered down to the docks threw money around, and we mean real money, for dockers and sailors, as if confetti. His aim, his point of destiny, to derive from those of deep knowledge of high business, of male fraternity and of gold and political intrigue, what and why Vincent was doing what he was doing.
"Yeah nah mate never heard of him. Is he one of them fancy boys, the ones who likes the golden rivet? Never mind, I can finds out, in facts I can find you 10 men who will swear blind that he was there last Tuesday, just cost you a few more of them there coins you bin throwing about."
"Um sorry you misunderstand, I made a mistake, his name was really Steve Balustrade and I think I have a headache coming on, forgive me..." Jack said as he sped away, not knowing that he was being followed.
Due to the incredible skill that Jack showed in his investigation and then his great ability at allowing himself to be followed, the group was forced to pack up and move to a new Inn for the short time before they headed off.
The road to Morganmine was uneventful, why should it not be? Farm land settled and peaceful. But no chapter, ever, in time immemorial, in any group of adventurers can be concluded without the blood curdling scream of pure violence. As the group closed upon Morganmine with a day to go, a small farm to the right, a scream, that of a woman, a call of distress. Some of the party, on their recently purchased horses and armed to the teeth saunter up to the house.
Some move to the rear, covering and tactically following a plan they have used before. A further scream, dead bodies on the porch and the entire group moves into full military level attack mode. A group of thieves and brigands appear to have attacked a small farmlet and dead on the porch a man and two small children. But for this mighty band of brave and noble adventurers this is nothing but the fly of annoyance meeting the swat of destiny. The farmlet is stormed, the attackers quickly dispatched and pats on the back by all involved despite the further death of what the group then understands as the final member of the farmlet the mother.
And so the stage curtain of time falls upon our mighty band of adventurers awaiting for the clock of time to tick merrily for another week before rising yet again on these brave and hapless souls.
No comments:
Post a Comment